To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/01/20 14:22
Subject: Re: [K-list] Possible abuse in my past - how do I deal with thi
From: Gloria Greco
On 1999/01/20 14:22, Gloria Greco posted thus to the K-list:
Lew Jones wrote:
Hi Lew,
You have quite a story here attached to you. It is very difficult
sometimes to deal with things when it is so personal. My suggestion is
to pull back and let go of it for a while while you come into a state of
awareness and healing. In doing this you will give yourself permission
to go on and when you are better able to deal with the thoughts and
emotions all jumbled up here you can do it. Literally what has happened
is your being overun by your thoughts and emotions which are in the
solar plexus. I don't know what kind of faith you have in your creator,
or even if you perceive this to be a part of life, but if you can look
at yourself in the universe and see that a higher power has brought you
into awareness of yourself, then you can turn to this knowing that even
if you can't understand it, there is a reason for everything. This
letting go will bring about the healing and you will quite naturally
move into your heart center which will be like a breath of fresh air for
you.
A lot of people choose to try to go through the gunk which you can do
with a professional to help you. This will likely take years, the other
way is to let it go knowing that when you are ready nature/higher
power/God itself will take you back into it, but you will have the tools
then to deal with it. There is one principal that is very helpful in
working with life, everyone does the best that they can do with the
tools they have at any given moment, this is everyone. Since life is the
teacher sometimes there are some pretty bazaar things that can happen
which when left to the mind and emotions to sort out, it can seem
impossible. We are more then the mind and emotions, if you can detach
and step aside and observe yourself as though you were in a movie you
can begin the process of healing and letting it go. In this, while you
are witnessing the process you will begin to understand the very subtle
moves of spirit. Which will also take you into that place of cause and
effect so that you can see what causes things. In this your subconscious
awareness will change, which will allow that part of you suffering here
and now to release and also let it go. This letting go is healing, then
in surrender to your higher knowing new doors will appear.
If you wish to take the conversation off line please feel free to do
so. I don't know that you will feel any relief from this post, if you
can stand back and observe yourself reading it and also see the thoughts
and emotions coming at you, you will understand a great deal of what I'm
saying here. The one thing about working with kundalini is that it can
not be interferred with without consequences, so any thought or emotion
will cause static. Blessings are here for you, challenges are also here.
Gloria
>
> How do I start this ... My K woke up about 4 years ago, spontaneously,
> after spending months - thinking about various aspects of my life and
> especially facts concerning my birth and the fact that my biological parents
> might be who I grew up thinking were my siblings - it was after talking to
> one of my so-called brothers and hearing him tell of sexual abuse by a
> neighbor and knowing the parents did nothing that something started to
> unravel. I also at the time thought that everybody in the family were
> multiples (MPD-like, I suppose) and told this to a so-called sister.
>
> Well, K symptoms were quite severe - shaking, dreaming of snakes and even
> seeing a snake image superimposed over bright blue sky in daytime - doing
> hand motions etc. - felt great joy but as days dragged out felt alarmed -
> I had asked my so-called brother and a nephew to travel to where I lived
> thinking that if they were here then they would tell me the truth about my
> past.
>
> They proceeded to get me involuntarily committed to a mental hospital -
> which took me a week to get out and cost me over $5,000. I have not spoken
> to them since.
>
> That was the past - I have been reluctant to read any letters from them
> and send any mail back to sender or for a spell I burned letters from
> another so-called brother who continues to send me mail (to me it is abusive
> of him to continue to send me letters when I just send them back). My
> so-called mother sent me a post card at christmas with no return address - I
> treated this like some sort of poison.
>
> Last week I found web sites about ritual abuse and mind programming and
> triggers (I have asked my higher self to lead me to what I need to resolve
> the unsettled issues in my mind)- actually I am afraid that this overall
> framework makes the most sense and allows me to fit the most pieces of the
> puzzle together - this is very scary to me - I have enough memories to
> know that I probably have disassociated in the past - I suppose I need to
> find a good therapist who deals with this sort of thing - unfortunately I
> can not afford that at this time.
>
> I just needed to throw this out into the ether - I suppose it will take me
> years to try to figure this out - and from what I have read it might never
> be possible to put humpty dumpty back together again. How can people be so
> cruel - and if I can believe some of what I read how can the U.S. government
> be so cruel.
>
> I feel that my family is psychically attacking me - how do I protect
> myself?
>
> sincerely, without love - but with compassion and caring for all who have
> been abused
>
> Llewellyn
--
Enter The Silence to Know God ... and... accept life as the teacher.
Gloria Joy Greco
e-mail me at : lodpressATnospamintercomm.com and visit our homepages at:
http://users.intercomm.com/larryn/
&
http://www.freeyellow.com/members/zg888/
Hope you enjoy them!
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