To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/01/19 18:49
Subject: [K-list] counting the silly mutant Boddhisatva boogerheads.
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 1999/01/19 18:49, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
Eh, since there's not much else going on, I figgered it's time to finish
this post.. reminding Wim to be respectful of the list guidelines. Yet again.
And also share some other left turns and remotely connected thoughts..
Finished it last night.. but writing it turned my brain inside out.. so
I postponed sending it so I could look at it in the clear light of day and
see if it makes sense, or if I'm raving. The answer is Yes.
At 01:53 AM 14/01/99 -0800, Wim Borsboom wrote:
>
>I am touching some sore spots
>That's what I do
>Some of you are exposing them
>To be touched
>Don't you realize?
>But even a gentle hand can be felt as painful
>
Uh huh.. like wearing a short skirt is asking to be raped?
you can look, but don't touch.. ;) Touching without permission is not
respectful. A gentle hand can be very painful if it is touching where it is
not wanted.. we call that "sexual harassment"... except if it is a
defenseless child, being touched in which case we call it "child abuse"..
or "Good Parenting", depending on the judgments.
Of course the thing with recursive rhetoric, is that there is no defence
against it, unless you play the game also. Some folks have told you, they
don't wanna play that game. I'll play.. :)
>
>The K. list is for survivors not for victims
>Sssooo let's survive together
>Ddddon't victimize anyone
>(No I don't stutter, you ssilly, it is just mmmyy keyboard)
>
Silly yourself, boogerhead.. The K-list is for Kundalites, whether they
think they are victims, or not.
{insult you? No, of course I didn't.. if your head has boogers in it,
then you are a boogerhead.. QED. Don't feel ashamed, I am one too, and I
don't mind it, so how could it be insulting to you?)
>PPS
>I'm shaking my head here, and am gently smiling.
>Come on, some of you, don't you recognize the patterns.
Yes, I recognise them perfectly.. as a paternalistic pat on the head...
which is usually done for the ego-benefit of the person doing the patting,
not to please the recipient.
I don't need my head patted, so I've mostly been ignoring you, after
having to ask you way too many times to follow the list guidelines, which
are for the good of all. Your words are very pretty, but your actions are
not always so considerate or thoughtful of others.
Silly me.. talk is cheap, I look at what people do, to find the truth in
them.
>You are continuously replaying that same moment of pain, anger and agony
Oy. You are continuously replaying the wise guru tooth-fairy Godfather
act.. because you like how it looks on you, in print... and you think
"Boddhisatva" is an excuse to "save" folks, whether they want you to, or not.
Here is an informal list guideline, which is not mentioned n the list
guidelines that you didn't read anyways.. that you might find useful to
follow:
The path of unfolding K. is all about releasing the ego-identity.. what
you call programming.. learning mindfulness.. so, If you reread your post
and find that your desire to post it is for egoistic reasons.. like a
desire to appear witty, wise, clever, funny, considerate, enlightened,
etc.. then don't post it. Deal with your issues inside yourself.
You have posted some useful stuff.. it balances out a bit.. but really,
calling the list members "silly ducklings" because you don't agree with
their beliefs, out of some evangelistic idea of "helping" is also contrary
to the list guidelines. Respect for other paths.
>Why are you doing that to yourselves
>Again and again and again
Why are you doing it to us again and again...?? Folks object to your
presumption in being Guru for Everyone whether they like it or not, and you
tell them they are silly, and that they must be unenlightened and afraid
for not liking your nonsensical responses to their issues. Then you
continue anyways.
Who is not listening??
>Honestly, you won't go wrong reading my stuff
>Anger is proof of that need
>If you have read this far it looks like you can handle it
oy. I can "handle" walking on red-hot coals, too, but it doesn't mean I
want them for a carpet in my livingroom.
You are not annoying enough to provoke my anger.. almost nothing is.. but
the lull in list traffic might have something to do with folks not wanting
to be non-consensually mocked for their issues by Wim the Wanna-be...
Course, it could also be the normal after-solstice downtime. More likely,
but what the heck.. I'll blame it all on you, I'm sure you can "handle" it.
LOL!! And if you cannot, then I am validated in my accusations of your
non-enlightenment, and I can be patronizing and pat yer head. Whatever good
that does me..
Ya know, it is a classic verbal abuse strategy for the abuser to blame
the victim for their reactions.. saying that it is the victim's fault for
being too sensitive to "handle" the abuse. Or accuse them of not having a
sense of humor, if they find teasing offensive.
Lots of abusive parents use the "spare the rod, spoil the child" line of
thinking to excuse abuse, too. Saying that it is "good" for them to be
beaten, and the stick is made of parental love. Or, that a verbal stick
that leaves scars that don't show, is kinder than a spanking. Or a
rejection stick. Or a teasing stick. A humiliation stick.
So here ya go, Wim.. I like to treat others as they are asking to be
treated.. obviously, since you are so certain of your methods, you are
exposing your tender parts to a Formidable Dominatrix so that I can whack
them... and if you get angry about it, or feel hurt, it must be because you
are not "enlightened" enough to "handle" it. Yadda yadda..
Ever heard of "consensuality", Wim? It makes the difference between rape
and lovemaking. Whether it is wanted.
>If you couldn't, press <Ctrl> <A> simutaneously and press <Del>
>Then try the same for your anger
>
Why don't you try it, with the posts you write for the list, before you
press send.. next time you feel an urge to show everyone how "enlightened"
you are by insisting they are too silly and foolish to understand your
"wisdom".
Take my word for it.. pedestals get lonely.. and if you insist on being
"right" all the time, eventually other folks get tired of knowing they will
be be made "wrong" in your opinions if they try to have a conversation near
you.
Why, of course, this post is all about me, and my "issues".. sure it is.
How can I know anybody else, to write about them..?? I am All that Is.
Yes, of course I wrote this for my own egoistic purposes, to validate an
ego-projection I accepted called "List Mystress", .. kind of a job,
actually.. and I expect to get a lot of approval for it, too.. and be
validated when everyone else who got tired of being patted on the head, but
who were children retreating, defenseless to your rhetoric, rises up as a
mob to lynch you at my consent.. which will make it "Right".
So I can be a hero "List Mystress" and "save" the list.
Yadda yadda.
on to other things...
Next, speaking of myself, which I always am, I feel like writing about
my confusion and laughter when the idea of "Boddhisatva", which I used to
be really attached to, popped like a silly soap bubble without my even
noticing, until it was being discussed on the list last month.. when I did
not have the leisure to respond..
The Sacred Vow suddenly became a hilarious, absurd game of "Us and Them"
judgments about what somebody else needs fixed, in order to become perfect.
Everything is already perfect, except for the judgments that it is not..
so making a vow to continue judging the universe as in need of "saving",
even after realizing that it is perfect, must be an ego attachment. Quite a
persistent one.
... or simply wanting to have a good time. How about Boddhisatvas as 3-d
party animals who don't wanna graduate coz then they will miss the Frat
parties.. so instead they hang around and teach.. and tell people that it
is because they are "needed"..
It's nice to feel needed, but need is illusion, too.. the universe needs
nothing... Buddha-nature does not judge "Saved" and "Not saved".
What is the point of religion anyways? Buddhism, Christianity, whatever..
each one is bound to fall short of defining Limitlessness.
Eternity is bigger than any of our mental conceptions can hold, no matter
how many vows we make.. but we get, what we pray for with our free will.
Why I keep incarnating. Transcend the B-word, and what's left?
Physicality is fun, and illusions of other to share love with, is more
fun than the loneliest number of One.
So really, any excuse to hang around manifest, enjoying the illusions of
separation, is worth hanging on to. Get a good vow to play "hero" and
attach it to be the main programming, so deeply that you forget it is
illusion, and even if it is the only attachment, it is enough, and you are
back in the game!
Since any attachment keeps gathering like matter, if you get really
attached to what the illusions of other, "needs", and being a "hero", you
can get yourself publicly martyred, and start a new religion with a whole
new line of recursive rhetoric of "us and them".. create some timelines
like the Spanish Inquisition to really get a good heap of karma/ego
rebuilt, and start over again.
Sure as "The road to Hell is paved with Good intentions".
Fun, if you continue to hang around after you have Mastered the game...
cos then the stakes aren't so high for you, as for the illusions of "other"
you are playing with.
It's not "real reality", it's "virtual reality". Knowing it's an
illusion, playing for the fun of it. Except if it gets boring..
One way I have discovered of doing this, is to make a good "Enlightened
person" ego to wear, with a bright shiny halo to go with it, and then when
the illusions of other complain about their pain you can laugh and tell
them it is illusion, and they are silly ducklings and boogerheads. Laughter
is the nature of spirit. Shrug, laugh, Don't care. Non-involvement.. might
as well play a game of how many Rolls Royces can one person own, coz it
just doesn't matter.. there will always be poor.
Or Babaji Peek-a-boo..
So why do spirits seem to want to have bodies, then? Why all the spirit
possessions and ascended master chanelings, etc... if physicality is so
awful we all need to transcend it?
Bodies are fun.. they can feel duality.. hot and cold and yummy or nasty.
It's the only game in town. Being, doesn't need a reason. Compassion is
more fun than non-involvement. Compassion cannot be felt, without duality
to compare it to. Then there is compassionate non-involvment, which this
post probably isn't.
My own duality is merged.. but the illusions of other, and the illusions
of duality they share with me, (coz they don't want them, and I need some
duality to make Fearsome Dominatrix shadows so I can be seen..) are so
endlessly wondrously fascinating that I have become attached to them..
I have become attached to sharing my love with others, so I can feel
their joy at discovering how much they are loved. Wheeee!!
In order for me to continue to be able to do this thing that I enjoy
doing so much, there must be illusions of other that feel the illusion of
being unloved, for me to do it to/with. QED. Ask and it Shall be given,
Goddess provides. Which came first, in eternity?
Christ did a foot worship scene with Magdalen, and when folks thought it
selfish, he explained that life is about joy in living it, and that there
will always be poor people.
Limitless manifestation suggests that everything that Is, must have it's
polarity somewhere, or manifestation would not be limitless. So, as long as
there are judgments about wealth is, there will always be poor people.
As long as there are judgments about "enlightenment", there will be those
who need "saving". Which came first? Boc boc boc..
Illusions of Other come to me, and I see perfection hiding from itself
under layers of judgments of non-perfection, which are perfectly placed to
create illusions of individuality.. As Goddess Wills.. Goddess Will is the
law of Free Will. Free Will is an illusion of ego.
So the will of Goddess is for me to do as they ask, and help them shed the
stuff they don't like about themselves, in order to realize it's
perfection, which happens, when they are no longer attached to it.
From the eyes of spirit, there is nothing that needs to be "fixed".
Nothing to do.. it is all illusion and it does not matter if I sit in a
cave for 50 years.
It is thru unity, empathy, seeing thru the ego eyes of the "illusions of
other", their perceptions of imperfection, as my own that I get to do what
I am addicted to doing.. experiencing duality, so I can share love.
Yet, I Am what I Am, and their illusions burn up when thru our unity,
they begin to see themselves thru My eyes. Reflections of the truth of
their own perfection..
Not more than they can handle.. They are grateful and happy when this
happens, usually, so I get to feel that, too..
When their illusions of separation and imperfection are all burnt up, I
am left with My Self, again.. reflections of myself, doing what I do.. and
the Boddhisatva vow is a prayer that promises me always, to provide
limitless illusions of other for me to play Avatar with.. forever.. if that
is the choice of my free will.
Where does the ideal of "service to other" go, when there is no more
"illusions of other"? Only One? Service to self? =Selfishness. Follow your
Bliss. The path of Temptation, :) not the path of righteousness, which is
judgment..
Goddess was lonely, so She made the illusions of Us.. duality.. out of
Herself.. to pretend to be "other", so we could share love. Everything is
as Goddess Wills. We who Are the Self, want everything to be exactly as it
is, illusions and all, so there can be experiences of sharing love. For
that purpose there was created the illusion of Free Will.. so there could
be choices, binary duality of love/not love to create All that Is.
How many Boogerheads? There is only One. It is I AM.
Hey, that's not as much fun..
Back into the illusions.. They are the only game in town.. :) Why I made
a physical vessel in the first place..
chop wood carry water. Eat food. Sleep. Be List Mistress. Spank Wim,
pretending to be angry according to his expressed expectations. Talk about
bandwidth scarcity. Send provocative mail to the list, when traffic gets
slow. Show up Fearsome for the folks who want to have a human to roleplay
their issues with. Empathise with pain, offer compassion. Why? Because it's
fun.
Be Here Now.
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