To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/01/04 06:02
Subject: Re: [K-list] Is it possible?
From: nancy
On 1999/01/04 06:02, nancy posted thus to the K-list:
Wim Borsboom wrote:
> No matter what, if there is something that you read that makes you feel
> inadequate about yourself, what you read is not truthful.
> <snip>
> If somebody or some situation makes you feel inadequate, it is not a
> situation of truth. It is very simple. Act accordingly with the
> self-confidence, that will drive you from that point and things work out.
Hi Wim,
I've never really considered before that self-confidence equals truth. I've
witnessed that as my confidence grew, my life has changed. ("Grew" being a
relative word since confidence is like the tide, in a constant state of
fluctuations depending on the moment and on the area of activity.)
Some view self-confidence as conceit or cockiness. A friend of mine says, "Some
people view me as cocky. I prefer to see it as self-confident." And from
self-confidence, you can appear cocky, but that's not its nature.
Self-confidence is that place of knowing that you are the creator of your life.
And you feel a certain mastery of (some) aspects of your life creation. That
self-confidence produces self-creation which produces more self-confidence.
The reverse is also true. Lack of self-confidence produces feelings of
inadequacy which produces continually eroding self-confidence.
In another post you mention the difference between belief and knowing. I think
that self-confidence is the start of understanding the distinction.
Belief is hope. Hope is the attachment to outcome. Belief shows a lack of
self-confidence. You don't trust your internal voice so you look outside of
yourself for direction, guidance.
When you know, you have confidence in yourself to trust the knowing. Knowing is
the path of love, in particular self love. Love is the path of truth that can
take one through all the attachments that seem to want to manifest in the
world.
Self-confidence in any degree is possible only with a corresponding degree of
knowing.
There's a woman I know who "believes" her husband loves her. Problem is she
doesn't know it. So she is constantly demanding things of him that limit his
freedom so he can prove that he loves her. He gives up x or y or z, so then he
loves her, right? Nope. No matter what he does (externally), it will never
convince her that he loves her (or that she is lovable).
There's someone else I know who knows her man loves her. Even when they are
apart, even if they get in arguments, even when other people interfere in their
relationship, her knowing of his love is ever present. She has no worries that
anything of this world could ever cause that love to be destroyed. No matter
what he does (external), it never convinces her that he doesn't love her.
The first woman (belief-based) demands proof from outside of herself. The
second woman (knowing-based) needs no proof; her knowing provides all the
confidence she needs.
Anyway, thanks, Wim for the thought-provoking message.
Nancy
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