1998/09/06 19:21
kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #636
kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 98 : Issue 636
Today's Topics:
Re: More confused [ "Evelyn Niedbalec" <log_me_inATnospamhotma ]
Re: Energy Fluctuations [ "Larry Schmitz" <taniaATnospamcentroin.com ]
unsubscribe me! [ Amanda Smith <mswingsATnospammaxinet.com> ]
negitive emtions be ware [ "Kat" <kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca> ]
Re: (no subject) [ David Bozzi <david.bozziATnospamsnet.net> ]
[ percyvalATnospamwebtv.net ]
Re: (no subject) [ "foster" <mytime2ATnospamemail.msn.com> ]
LADY ROSES OF THORNS SLEPT IN 1000 Y [ "Magne Aga" <magneagaATnospammonet.no> ]
Re: (no subject) [ MsSheWolfATnospamaol.com ]
Re: (no subject) [ David Bozzi <david.bozziATnospamsnet.net> ]
Name change [ "Kat" <kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca> ]
Re: Name change [ "alan gaskins" <ravenkrossATnospamhotmail. ]
Re: Name change [ "Paul" <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.c ]
other [ "Paul" <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.c ]
Date: Sun, 06 Sep 1998 11:59:03 PDT
From: "Evelyn Niedbalec" <log_me_inATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: More confused
Message-ID: <19980906185904.269.qmailATnospamhotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
I would say that is the kind of thing one should do as preparation for
k. If you don't do it, the k will do it for you in a much less gentle
way. But when the k comes, I think you will feel some physical side
effects that will let you know.
-E
>
>OK, how will I know if the k-train is rolling??
>
>If it has anything to do with questioning your beliefs, your life, your
>everything and knowing that some hard decisions are for your
betterment,
>then it may have hit!!
>
>Glenny
______________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 16:39:46 -0300
From: "Larry Schmitz" <taniaATnospamcentroin.com.br>
To: "Rick Puravs" <ric51ATnospamgeorge.lhi.net>,
"Marybeth Gottshall" <kmgATnospamtaconic.net>
Cc: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: Energy Fluctuations
Message-ID: <01bdd9ce$1a7c8360$423ae1c8ATnospamlarry>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Dear Rick & Marybeth:
You wrote:
.>I have 2 other gurus besides the one i received Shaktipat from, .
I also have two spirit guides, Agamemnon & Ezequiel. I don't think that I
could maintain
my equilibrium w/o them...
>*getting now the nasty sort of side effects that people get from kundalini.
It
>*sort of
>*feels like i'm burning up, but that may not be the case. Earlier when i
>*touched my
>*body it seemed so hot, but i wasn't sure if it wasn't because my hands
were
>*cold.
>*My hands did seem cold. Now my hands seem hot and my body seems to be
*cooler.
>*When i talked to you earlier everything hurt. Well maybe not
everything....my
>*fingertips for instance didn't hurt...but the joints in my fingers
hurt....but
>*only some
>*of them....my heart hurt, my lungs hurt, my stomach and hips and spine
>*hurt....but
>*sort of a feverish burning hurt.....breathing hurt, having my eyes open
hurt,
>*and having
>*them closed hurt......i just figured i was tired and had overextended
myself
>*at work
>*to finnish up August.......as i talked to you i rested my head on the
table
>*from time
>*to time.......and you seemed to me to be coming from another world and the
>*things you said to me hurt......i layed down and my sinuses throbbed in
beat
>*with my heart
>*.......sort of a fluish feeling.....and if i shut my eyes there seemed to
be a
>*black hole
>*there and all the other hallucinations would rush down the drain...
I could not describe my feeling any better than you have described your own.
The depression is overwhelming....I feel sleepy, but, if I lay down, the
despair is suffocating
& I have to get up....I also have a drill working inside me...I am now
accustmed to it...
Sometimes I am able to ask God to relieve me of the depression...& it
works...I have not been able to quiet my mind sufficiently for meaningful
meditation lately...the depression seems to be much more magnified at night
for me...
>*as it was hard to breathe and for a while i felt like throwing up......but
i
>*managed to
>*keep the food down and got the breathing back together.......but i still
hurt
>*real bad,
>*sort of a physical fluish pain......and a hallucinatory feverish quality
to
>*things, so i
>*can't even be sure that i can rely on my own thoughts.......so don't pay
too
>*much
>*attention to anything i say......another thing i noticed is if my nose
runs or
>*my eyes
>*water that i have to wipe it off my skin pretty fast as it feels kind of
>*acidic or something and feels like it's burning my skin........and there's
>*still the cough and
I, too, feel all of this today, which, to me is manageable if I can
reconcile around the depression.
Larry Schmitz
Date: Sun, 06 Sep 1998 12:50:33 -0700
From: Amanda Smith <mswingsATnospammaxinet.com>
To: "kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: unsubscribe me!
Message-ID: <35F2E789.1B384B22ATnospammaxinet.com>
I can not keep up with the reading. Thank you but I will go to the
message boards as I get time.
Amanda Smith mswingsATnospammaxinet.com
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 17:28:01 -0400
From: "Kat" <kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: negitive emtions be ware
Message-ID: <001001bdd9dd$3a677360$3ae6d5d1ATnospamdefault>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Hi All,
Is it really okay to allow our negetive emotions out here? Can I truly find
a place that I can yell and scream? and not say one damn nice word? Can I
truly feel free to do this and not get a notice that says I am not allowed
on list anymore? Frankly I dought it as my anger is building to a boil and
its very explosive and not nice at all. Is there truly anyone that is
strong enough to encounter my anger and not end up feeling slighted by me
even though I might put down their gender? and smash it to bits? Actually I
think I need to do this in private email. Who can take the heat and let me
scream? These stupid damn tears are pissing me off as I want no part of
them!!! I just want to be mad!!!! I have the right to be mad! I don't
want to be nice today so I am not going to be! I am not going to say the
right things and I am not going to act the right way and no one can stop me!
Without love or Light or friggen Understanding
Kat
Date: Sun, 06 Sep 1998 18:07:14 -0400
From: David Bozzi <david.bozziATnospamsnet.net>
To: nickynoodleATnospamnetrax.net
CC: "kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Message-ID: <35F30791.D58F50CDATnospammail.snet.net>
Barbara Alexander wrote:
> The doctors say it is fibromyalgia. They put me on Prozac but all that
> does is take the edge off the pain.
Here are the search results for fibromyalgia from the Life Extension
Site.There's alot you can do for it.
This site presents scientific info that is cutting edge.
I'd encourage people with other types of disorders to do searches there
also.
You might be surprised at what you'd find.
Take Care,
David
http://lef.org/cgi-local/AT-leforg971110searchsearch.cgi
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 17:00:13 -0400 (EDT)
From: percyvalATnospamwebtv.net
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Cc: fransATnospamtelebyte.nl
Subject:
Message-ID: <2731-35F305ED-3768ATnospammailtod-141.iap.bryant.webtv.net>
>From: "frans"
>Hello folks, i have been playing with some
>archives, making them accessible. If someone
>would want to have a look:
> http://www.keijser.com/frans
>I have put there the first 100 digest of our
>list history!!!
this is quite an amazing accomplishment! thanks frans...this is a
wonderful service to our community...the job is extremely well done...
lovingly,
john
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 15:19:15 -0700
From: "foster" <mytime2ATnospamemail.msn.com>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>, "David Bozzi" <david.bozziATnospamsnet.net>
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Message-ID: <000a01bdd9e4$628fbd00$bd49fdd0ATnospamvucqpqlj>
Dear David,
I know that you are trying to help but....Fibromyalgia is a complicated
syndrom that affects people different...and there is NOT alot to do for it.
I have been researching it for the past six months...I have tried just about
everythng for me and my sister...everything we tried has either a bad
reaction or none to very tiny bit of help. There is not cure for this
syndrom nor do they know the cause. I am beginning to that K awakening is a
big part of the cause. Here are some of the things that can help, although
what works for me does not mean it will work for you: Meditate, do yoga
stretches..only very gentle and ones that don't force you against
gravity,Magnesium and Malic acid, Paxil (a new antidepressent with little
side affects)very low dose of 20m. Anything higher will cause more pain,
High dose one a day multivitamen, Chromium picolinate. There are hand
creams that will help your hands and Ginko Biloba with help your brain. Get
the same amount of sleep a night and at the same time. All these help a
little although extra stress can set off a big flare anyway. Most important
is to keep trying to excercise, stretch gently thru the pain. I am writing
this because there have been a couple of people who are suffering with this
Dread Disease and may need the info. Looking on the internet is a good idea
and check out the link to site . Love, Julie
-----Original Message-----
From: David Bozzi <david.bozziATnospamsnet.net>
To: nickynoodleATnospamnetrax.net <nickynoodleATnospamnetrax.net>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Date: Sunday, September 06, 1998 2:56 PM
Subject: Re: (no subject)
e.
>I'd encourage people with other types of disorders to do searches there
>also.
>You might be surprised at what you'd find.
>
>Take Care,
>David
>
>http://lef.org/cgi-local/AT-leforg971110searchsearch.cgi
>
>
>
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1998 01:06:12 +0200
From: "Magne Aga" <magneagaATnospammonet.no>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: LADY ROSES OF THORNS SLEPT IN 1000 YEARS
Message-Id: <199809070008.BAA20531ATnospamumbukta.monet.no>
THE FAIRY TALE IS TRUTH -
MISS *ROSES OF THORNS* DID REALLY SLEEP IN 1000 YEARS
"The fourth step, which represents fullfillment of the physical man, is in
the intellectual or mind matter ... This fourth step ... represents an
intuitive quality as well. It must be a balance with physical and
metaphysical ... The concept of the 4th step, which is the Fourth Ray and
ray of UNDERSTANDING and demonstrating as it is in the overall divine plan,
is to be the CRYSTAL through which man can enter either the physical or the
metaphysical world ... The symbol of these activity is the CRYSTALLIZATION
or the CRYSTAL-PURE CLEARNESS of intuituon and understanding. It represents
the NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE BALANCE so complete that there is no colour to it
.... What is crystal clear to you ? That which is utter balanced in your
mind and has not a force pulling one way without equal strength pulling the
other ... What is CLEAR to you in your mental realm is that which has been
analyzed most perfectly and has its utmost balance."
(Serapis Bey)
"I am Serapis Bey speaking. I have spoken before, but never at such a
serious moment in the evolution of mankind of Earth. For I represent the
mastership of the 4th in the 7 steps of creation, or the 4th Ray as a form
of Crystallization [ of one's vision of birth] ... It's the 4th Ray workers
and contacts that will solidify all the works that contribute to the whole
spesific meaning of what the program entails. Without the CRYSTALLIZATION
OF THOSE IDEAS [ GROUNDING ], you have chaos and do not have completion.
....You allways are UNIQUE wherever you are [*Every man is a star* is my
personal banner, refering to the manifestation of the reason for beeing
born here in these transition period into the 4th dimension], and each
pattern must be specialized ... These is why crystallization or
manifestation ... must be a major part of your thinking process and must
become a conscious effort ... whatever your soul mission is equipped to be
.... It is ... setting into CONCRETE FORM and fold that which you allready
have seen as the desirable goal. ... This is the level of the CRYSTAL
BEEINGNESS within yourself, your idea and level of consciousness to
another."
(Serapis Bey)
"A Crystal is an atomic structure unique and special unto itsel, and never
two alike ... What man has not been able to determine yet is that within
that creative force which we are speaking of, the very smallest energy
particle, it differentiates via a sound vibration. It's within that sound
frequency that the individuality is determined. ... Creative force sets
into motion a particular sound or note that is unique and a frequency that
is personal to that atom. ... It's this personal note that vibrates
constantly within the structure of that development. And it's only by
sounding an alternate note disharmonious to that vibration that it can be
decomposed or destructed. This is decrystallization.
The other process is crystallization. Energy or motion is creative force.
The sound applied to it crystallizes it or freezes it into that energy
purpose or function. ... A spesific flower, a drop of rain, is unique and
has its own song; because that song is a collection of notes or frequency
vibrations that are frozen ... Again we express the meaning of positive and
negative ... Negative is breaking down that form or placing it in its
primary and ordinary composition, without form or reforming. So in this
sense it's the negative and positive polarities that allways are at play in
the universe."
(Serapis Bey)
+ + +
Tennessee was the start of my trip northwards to Ghettysburg during a
challenging time in your nations infancy. And during these Civil War, I
once escaped from the yankee-agency in the North by jumping on a train in
movement *just in time* with the predecessors of the FBI chasing me. Isn't
it funny how things have repeated themselves ? The person who chased me
(Pimperton ?), lives today in Norway - He works in the Agency ! This is
trully the time of dissolving karma, of making an end on troubles repeated
lifetime after lifetime, causing much hate and misery.
Truly the baptism phase of the 4th initiation have begun !
And the throwing up of past lifetime karma, which is 1000 and 2000 years
old, haven't been pleasant recently. This is the throwing up of karma, to
be reevaluated, UNDERSTOOD and eventually dissolved. It's a new phase of
backstabbing, misunderstandings and plots. It's the *desert wandering*
succeeding the Baptism of Fire and Water reiterated in a subscale.
When walking trough the desert, You are dirty, you stink ! You becomes
dirty by the plots, the betrayals, the resistance among fellow light
workers. And you stink; your auric envelope eliminates unwanted dirt
(karma).
In January, I received the following challening: "[ my Reiki
healer ] is going to turn against You ! [ in plurality form]".
And I saw Her crying bitterly inside a hospital.
At that point, I labeled it inconceivable. After all, She has been my
amazing and loving helper in balancing the two poles of energy expressions
for months. Considering the fact that She was one of my few loving helpers
in my endless Sea of misery, one of my savours, I wasn't able to grasp
these statement at all ! It was impossble.
She helped me to bring the energy down to the feets. The energy blocks in
my knees disappeared and the Chi flow through the feets. Then symptoms
similar to Stigmata appeared. I felt the pain of something like bolts
beeing hammered through my feets and palms of my hands. At that point,
[my twin soul] had a vision where I had bandages around my feets and hands.
These
coincided with my migraine attacks (imbalance between two hemispheres), and
my present sessions by a local zone therapists. The fourth step of
UNDER-STANDING had reached a new facet.
On August the 30th, during a Reiki healing, my clairvoyant abilities
exploded. Through the non-duality point above my head, PEACE appeared. In
my secondary hearth lotus, LOVE manifested. In my shoulders, where she
touched the pairs of COOPERATION and COORDINATION, these pairs where the
flow of feminine and masculine (Yin/Yang) energies went through before
reaching my both pair of brain hemispheres during the Energy Axis Ascension
process, after crossing the secondary lotus of Beauty in the Hearth - An
explosion of intense Pink arose.
She received a vision of a rainbow bridge over waters. When the energy went
down through the feets, She saw a white bridge of Light beneath the feets -
at the Earth Star beneath the feets.
At that point, my clairvoyant abilities accelrated to such a degree that it
requires the utmost of my understanding abilities to discern the meanings
of all these traffic signs, which the colours represents.
And mother Earth has - during these whole process - gone trough Yet another
rise in the frequency vibration, with UFO sightings many times. The Light
of the Tunnel will be reached during October.
Then on Sep 3rd, the unimaginable happened. [...] *couldnt follow me
anymore*, as She said, what concerned my fight for human rights and the
innocent damned in our present corrupt system of *justice*.
It was the breaking up. My harsh comments about the *moral whores* of
power, those selling their soul for popularity, while causing endless
sufferings for innocents, made me unacceptable. Day after day, I had helped
people ill-treaded into the grotesque by the Police, *psychiatry* and
*child welfare authorities*. On one occasion, gossip about a person's
problems of neurosis of anxiety, ended as follows: 7 Police officers had,
WITHOUT ANY PROVOCATIONS FROM THE VICTIM, hit his head against a metal
floor, kicked him by metal boots in his back, his ribs, his testicles and
hit him with batons for hours INSIDE A HOSPITAL with the blessings of
*psychiatrists*. This is a *health system* according to the moral whores in
power. These illegal prisoned people do not have any advocates by their
side, expect our prosecuted underground movement.
And these rejection of me, combined with beeing expelled from a local group
of light workers (whom I taught Pearls of meditative techniques), collided
with my reason for beeing born (help the diseased). You cannot compromise
on moral codes of conduct !
+ + +
Talking about adverse reaction. A group of black magic in Norway delivered
me the following message, as an expression of hate, before my channeling
from N.Aazzuur. The message was:
"Blessed be Him who murder, killeth, and torture the weak, the sick and the
diseased"
- formulated in blood as a blasphemic Bible rewriting, as a hate expression
against my spiritual meaning for incarnating here.
+ + +
Then - on Sep 4th, while speaking with ..., my twin-soul, it appeared
that She was filled with hatred against me. Blind hatred and rage.
In Norway, there exists a fairy tail about the Princess *Roses of thorns*
which slept for 1000 Years, until the Prince woke her by a kiss.
I tell You, the fairy tail is more than fantasy.
In the Medieval Ages, in a previous incarnation, I travelled as a crusader,
a knight, to the Holy Land. Before leaving, ..., my twin-soul, who was my
wife in that lifetime, was put unto a belt of chastity. By my return, it
showed up that she had managed to become pregnant anyway. And I ordered
that Her child should be killed. And ... had to escape from me in that
lifetime.
Lifetime after lifetime, I incarnated simultaniously with Her, in order to
dissolve Her hatred, and redeem Her from Her pain. But She rejected me,
again and again. So, Her hatred, her dark emotions against me, caused
attacks of migraine (two poles imbalanced, unresolved karma between
twin-souls).
These revealing from the akashic record was clarifying, though. I now
understand the source of *darkness* I've been watching through my 3rd eye.
It's allmost the same story as what happened with ..., our beloved
way shower on the physical plane !
So, as the fairy tale states, the Princess of the *Roses of thorns* slept
in 1000 years, allmost literarily - the sleep of hatred. And it's my
mission now to send Her Light, to enlighten the darkness, to heal Her soul
with Love from centuries of pain.
Puhh !!
Who said that the Way of the Warrior was going to be easy ?
I will be pleased about any positive thought these days. EVERY MAN IS A
STAR ! Including those darkened with hatred. The High Self, the Christ- ,
the Buddha-nature, the atman, is as Divine in the darkest criminal as it is
in the highest Guru. Spirit Never favourize.
Blessings from Norway
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 19:39:44 EDT
From: MsSheWolfATnospamaol.com
To: david.bozziATnospamsnet.net
Cc: "kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>,
nickynoodleATnospamnetrax.net
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Message-ID: <7a609da7.35f31d40ATnospamaol.com>
Hi David,
I, too, have Firbromyalgia, and a whole accompaniment of other symptoms
associated with it. I was excited when reading your mail with this address
for the Life Extension Search results...unfortunately this address:
<http://lef.org/cgi-local/AT-leforg971110searchsearch.cgi>
came back with: <empty query string>
If you have any other ideas how to obtain this information, i would be greatly
appreciative. I have been ill for over ten years and sometimes have suidical
thinking because of a sense of helplessness around this. I cannot take
antidepressants because the make me deathly ill. I am very sensitive to
chemicals. Medical doctors say the best medication is aerobic exercise with a
heart beat at 150 beats per minutes, starting gradually and working up to the
optimum of 1 hour three times a week. I can't get past 10 minutes...I don't
know anyone who has this mysterious disorder who would be able to obtain this
goal. This is a very debilitating disorder.
Thank you, David,
Cher
Date: Sun, 06 Sep 1998 20:18:58 -0400
From: David Bozzi <david.bozziATnospamsnet.net>
To: MsSheWolfATnospamaol.com
CC: Kundalini <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Message-ID: <35F32672.58D2ATnospammail.snet.net>
MsSheWolfATnospamaol.com wrote:
> I, too, have Firbromyalgia, and a whole accompaniment of other symptoms
> associated with it. I was excited when reading your mail with this address
> for the Life Extension Search results...unfortunately this address:
>
> <http://lef.org/cgi-local/AT-leforg971110searchsearch.cgi>
>
> came back with: <empty query string>
Here's their home page.
http://www.lef.org/
They have a search engine that works within their site.
Links will lead to other links and so on, so I suggest being thorough in
checking everything.
> If you have any other ideas how to obtain this information, i would be greatly
> appreciative. I have been ill for over ten years and sometimes have suidical
> thinking because of a sense of helplessness around this. I cannot take
> antidepressants because the make me deathly ill. I am very sensitive to
> chemicals.
There's a good deal of research about a nutrient called
S-adenosylmethionine
for the depression (among many other uses) that most US doctors are
unaware of
because of its' unpatentable status. The site has a ton of info on it.
Long term use of antidepressants only leads to a worsening of the
condition as
they whack the neural and hormonal system.
Also on that note, I strongly recommend the book "Hormonal Health" by
Dr.
Michael Colgan. I suspect that insuring optimum hormonal health is
crucial.
This book is way ahead of what most doctors are aware of. Try a search
on the
Colgan Institute. You can order it from them and also they keep a list
of informed doctors on top of the hormonal research, and there's not too
many of them at present.
>This is a very debilitating disorder.
I know. A friend of mine has it.
She has had hypo thyroidism her whole life and there is a link
there. (63% of those with fibro have hypo thyroid) There's a hypo
thyroid protocol
at LEF, apparently from what I understand it's a good idea to check if
that applies to you first. Obviously this may not apply to all cases.
I wish you and everyone else with this condition the very best,
David
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 20:08:30 -0400
From: "Kat" <kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Name change
Message-ID: <003701bdd9f3$a7446680$36e6d5d1ATnospamdefault>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Hi all,
Just a quick note in public. From this point on I will not be using the
name Katharine anymore. It was a name that I was born with.....and was not
used........then he liked it and I decided to use it. Now I have decided
that I do not want this name anymore as it has nothing to do with me as it
is a name that everyone else has played with.
My name from here on will be
In L& L & Understanding,
Kat
Katharine is Dead.
Date: Sun, 06 Sep 1998 17:24:29 PDT
From: "alan gaskins" <ravenkrossATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca
Subject: Re: Name change
Message-ID: <19980907002431.8866.qmailATnospamhotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Praise Divinity!
Bless you KAT and I support you to the nth!
The way your post reads, I at first thought your new name was " In
L & L & Understanding" - how very Native American/Shamanistic! I hereby
christen thee the "Kat" of Love Light & Understanding! ( with your
purrrrmission of course:-)!).
With naught but Respect,
for u being U,
NAMASTE
>Reply-To: "Kat" <kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca>
>From: "Kat" <kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca>
>To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
>Subject: Name change
>Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 20:08:30 -0400
>
>Hi all,
>
>Just a quick note in public. From this point on I will not be using
the
>name Katharine anymore. It was a name that I was born with.....and was
not
>used........then he liked it and I decided to use it. Now I have
decided
>that I do not want this name anymore as it has nothing to do with me as
it
>is a name that everyone else has played with.
>
>My name from here on will be
>
>In L& L & Understanding,
>
>Kat
>
>Katharine is Dead.
>
>
Everthing is relative to the mind, including the mind itself...
______________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
Date: 7 Sep 98 01:52:28 +0000
From: "Paul" <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Name change
Message-Id: <OUT-35F33C5C.MD-1.0.paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Kat,
> My name from here on will be
>
> In L& L & Understanding,
>
> Kat
We have a cat (kat?). We call her Toyah. We don't know what her real
name is.
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: 7 Sep 98 02:27:17 +0000
From: "Paul" <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: other
Message-Id: <OUT-35F34485.MD-1.0.paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Hi folks.
There's something I don't understand. This morning I had a dream in
which various rule-keeping kind of people, traditionalists, policemen,
school teachers, etc, were surprisingly lightening up and we had a
good laugh. I had fun throwing tennis balls at some policemen and it
was mutual.
This afternoon without really expecting it everything seemed to
settle. There was a silence that I could hear regardless of the many
sounds that were occuring. I had an experience of myself that I
immediately recognised as a way I felt possibly some 10 years ago as a
young teenager. Suddenly I felt a lot larger. Not the ego thing but I
seemed to be able to see myself in the world. It was like suddenly the
walls that were shrinking me suddenly zoomed onto the horizon. I had
self esteem and I knew who I was.
Soon after, this faded. This is where the realisation hit - the extent
to which I have lost myself. There is a tremendous amount of
`otherness' that I perceive in the world that wasn't there before.
Horror of all things it seems that I have gotten worse, not better. It
is perhaps good that I am becoming aware of this but it is not at all
comforting. In words of a song by Seal: "how do I get back to where I
came from?"
I used to be a person goddamit! What on earth is happening to me?
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
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