1998/06/29 18:46
kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #487
kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 98 : Issue 487
Today's Topics:
Re: Kundalini and Sirsasana [ Harsha1MTMATnospamaol.com ]
Re: Do chakras exist?-Ramana Maharsh [ Harsha1MTMATnospamaol.com ]
I gotta scream [ Matthew Bastress <mattbATnospamchrysalis.c ]
Re: I gotta scream [ "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu> ]
RE: I gotta scream [ "Roberto Gonzales del Valle" <93035 ]
RE: Bye [ "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es> ]
Re: love is... [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ]
Re: Faces of god [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ]
Re: I gotta scream [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
Re: Nothing > Transcendence Zone [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
Re: I gotta scream [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 15:42:07 EDT
From: Harsha1MTMATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Kundalini and Sirsasana
Message-ID: <8f013f13.3597ee10ATnospamaol.com>
<<In a message dated 6/29/1998 2:05:25 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
gilles.chauvinATnospamlemel.fr writes:
<< The Kundalini going up through the chakras to the top of the skull, what is
the effect of Sirsasana on it.
Gilles >>
Harsha: Virtually none in most cases. However, it depends on how Sirshasana
is practiced. Some people practiced it for 5 minutes to half hour. Few
practice it for three hours. Some combine it with breath retention which is
dangerous. Sirshasana should be avoided by people suffering from blood
pressure. There are several Asanas which when practiced carefully with
controlled breath have the effect of stimulating Kundalini. They should only
be learned with guidance from an adept as they have unusual effects on the
nervous system and the energy centers. However, a normal Kundalini awakening
should take place in pure meditation. A gradual, consistent, and gentle
practice over a long time ensures success. Improper practice of Asanas and
Pranayama can lead to problems.
The following reply to someone may be helpful to you as well. Look up the url
at the end.
Harsha: Brent, I practiced Hatha Yoga and Pranayama since childhood and made a
living teaching Hatha Yoga for some years back in the late 1970s and early
1980s. Hatha Yoga and Pranayama are considered important on certain Kundalini
paths. Patanjali, however, is not speaking of Hatha Yoga when he speaks of
Asana. He is simply indicating that you need to be in a comfortable posture
for meditation so you can lose body consciousness and enter higher Samadhis.
Awareness has no shape or structure. Any posture, including lying down, is
fine. Sitting in a comfortable posture with a relatively upright spine (or
lying down is Savasana with a straight spine) is fine. As Jan has pointed
out, one's whole life eventually becomes a meditation so there is no
particular time, place, or a particular posture which is essential to
Recognize One's Own Nature. Different Samadhis may be experienced either
sitting down or lying down. Since you are quite young, Hatha yoga may be
suitable for you. Do not overexert and go gradually and gently. Iyengar
focuses too much on the physical. Walking with deep breathing is good and
when done properly becomes a meditation.
The Spiritual Experience and the Awakening of
>Kundalini Shakti in Tantra Yoga
>http://www.telebyte.nl/~frans/kundalini/harsh.html
http://www.telebyte.nl/~frans/kundalini/poetry.html
God bless everyone with all that is best and with peace and joy.
>>
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 15:43:11 EDT
From: Harsha1MTMATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Do chakras exist?-Ramana Maharshi
Message-ID: <c2fa283e.3597ee50ATnospamaol.com>
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In a message dated 6/28/1998, 2:32:36 AM, Harsha1MTM writes:
<<In a message dated 6/27/1998 9:17:14 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
shawebbATnospamyhc.edu writes:
<< To quote but one, the
illustrious Sri Ramana Maharshi: "Do not waste time meditating on
chakras, nadis, padmas, or mantras of deities, or anything else
of the kind. The six subtle centers (chakras) are merely mental
pictures and are meant for beginners in yoga."
>>
Harsha: Quite right. However, Ramana Maharshi often said different things to
different people and was not concerned with appearing consistent. His replies
were always contextual. Ramana Maharshi clearly acknowledged the validity of
meditating on the Shakti and Chakras (particularly Sahasarara in various
conversations) but always concluded that all of that resolves in the Self that
is the Heart. When Ramana Maharshi spoke from the highest vantage point, and
emphasized the path of self inquiry, he did point out that Chakras exist only
in imagination. That in no way implied that they are not experienced in
various ways by different aspirants. From the perspective of Ultimate
Reality, nothing exists apart from the Self. Therefore there is no point in
focusing on anything other than the Self. However, this only becomes clear
after Recognizing the Self. People should follow the spiritual path that they
are inclined to and not allow the "experts" to confuse them.
>>
From: Harsha1MTMATnospamaol.com
Return-path: <Harsha1MTMATnospamaol.com>
To: shawebbATnospamyhc.edu
Subject: Re: Do chakras exist?-Ramana Maharshi
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 02:32:36 EDT
In a message dated 6/27/1998 9:17:14 AM Pacific Daylight Time, shawebbATnospamyhc.edu
writes:
<< To quote but one, the
illustrious Sri Ramana Maharshi: "Do not waste time meditating on
chakras, nadis, padmas, or mantras of deities, or anything else
of the kind. The six subtle centers (chakras) are merely mental
pictures and are meant for beginners in yoga."
>>
Harsha: Quite right. However, Ramana Maharshi often said different things to
different people and was not concerned with appearing consistent. His replies
were always contextual. Ramana Maharshi clearly acknowledged the validity of
meditating on the Shakti and Chakras (particularly Sahasarara in various
conversations) but always concluded that all of that resolves in the Self that
is the Heart. When Ramana Maharshi spoke from the highest vantage point, and
emphasized the path of self inquiry, he did point out that Chakras exist only
in imagination. That in no way implied that they are not experienced in
various ways by different aspirants. From the perspective of Ultimate
Reality, nothing exists apart from the Self. Therefore there is no point in
focusing on anything other than the Self. However, this only becomes clear
after Recognizing the Self. People should follow the spiritual path that they
are inclined to and not allow the "experts" to confuse them.
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 98 16:00:05 EDT
From: Matthew Bastress <mattbATnospamchrysalis.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: I gotta scream
Message-Id: <199806292000.QAA05135ATnospamlevi.chrysalis.com>
Hi K-listers:
I wonder if we feel like we have to be funny when we really
wanta scream? An honest slap in the face is a loving one.
I love you all when you get pissed off.
I am receiving some really insistent energy from somewhere
concerning this word "evil".
First of all, let me ask: Is there really evil?
The very existence of evil is open to question, I would never
call anyone evil. I used it metaphorically in a poem to offset
the idea that life's a joke. It's a serious question.
The past few days I've been going through a really bad bad K
experience where it feels like some spirit is taking all his
frustrations out on me and calling me evil. I think I offended
him. He spent all his life being nice to people and now he
wants to spend the rest of his life beating me up. I really
almost feel like I'm losing my mind.
In my dreams people are trying to kill me.
Anyway its really hard to be funny. And it's really hard to be
polite. It feels more honest and loving to complain and scream
and yell and use the word 'evil' rhetorically and try to fathom
why this is happening.
Sorry if this is all self-centered. I can't see out of my own
little world.
Matt
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 16:20:45 -0400
From: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: I gotta scream
Message-ID: <010c01bda39b$6698f300$70d11fa8ATnospamsharonwe>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Matt,
First of all, I completely go along with Jane Roberts book "Seth Speaks"
which states that there is no evil, but only ignorance. Hitler undoubtedly
thought of himself as a pretty nice guy concerned with the greater good and
all that.
So...what is the voice you hear? It IS somebody you offended, it is
you---your Jungian shadow. We are all scared to death of our shadow selves
until we learn to bring them into the light, accept them, and love them.
The shadow self is a part of us that we have repressed in childhood or early
adolescence. It carries the "I hate you. I wish you were dead," rage of a
child---and often with good reason. Since we have been indoctrinated that
these thoughts are hateful, wicked, evil, or just plain not socially
acceptable, we repress that part of ourselves, deny it, and hide it away
from the light of day. There in the darkness of our self it grows apace
like a mushroom in a dark damp cellar, and in the gloom it takes on fearful
shapes, but it is no more to be feared than a small angry child is to be
feared.
And when you accept that side of yourself, you will find that your strength
lives there. When you can finally love that dark side of yourself, you will
become more whole.
I can sympathize/empathize with your bad k days; I've had my share of them.
:-)
Sharon
shawebbATnospamyhc.edu
A new fractal gallery and screensaver was posted to this site, 4/3/98:
http://www.fractalus.com/sharon/
USA Today Hot Site; Cosmic Site of the Night: Cool Central Site of the Day;
ENC Digital Dozen; Enchantment Award; ArtSearch Featured Site;
NetTech NeatTech: Web Best ; Eye Candy Award; Studyweb Featured Site;
Lotus Light Award; Wave of the Day; Hot Site Award; Critical Mass Award;
Best of the Planet, People's Choice Award, 1998; WS Award; Treasured Site
Award
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 18:28:10 -0600
From: "Roberto Gonzales del Valle" <930359ATnospamaloe.ulima.edu.pe>
To: "Matthew Bastress" <mattbATnospamchrysalis.com>
Cc: "Kundalini List" <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: RE: I gotta scream
Message-ID: <01bda3bd$f6096840$c7db11cfATnospamlgvalleprotelsa>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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Hi Matthew:
I would like to tell you I have felt the same way a lot. I even had a few
problems with someone on the list (and who now has his own list) because I
do believe evil chases. There are ways of using the energy and people can
send vibrations that cure and that make dissease. It is naive to think
everything is great all the time because it is not. We are sort of in
between very powerful changes in the whole planet and there will be people
trying to mislead crowds of seekers.
I would like to share this exercise with you:
Breathe in and picture how God´s are is cleansing your entire body. Then
Breathe out and be aware of how impurities go away as they are. If you feel
like it, you can breathe the clean air through your nose and then, with your
eyes closed, exhale the impurities through your mouth and picture them and
let them out, send them away. They just go, out out you, someplace they are
well recieved (there is all kinds of things in this world).
And remember: there is a power way stronger than what you call "me" it is
within you and withing everything else. If you accept that power as the
creator-teacher-giver-lover-taker and you surrender your "me" with all its
history and concepts to the source that flows within you, then nothing will
harm you.
Please recieve my hug of love
Roberto
Lima, Peru.
http://members.tripod.com/~sunshinegroove/index-3.html
Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 00:33:09 +0100
From: "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es>
To: "K. list" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>, <dturinaATnospamgeocities.com>
Subject: RE: Bye
Message-ID: <000801bda3b6$47049560$73f14dc3ATnospamjb>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
safe and pleasant journey
enjoy sat sang
Jan
Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 18:01:06 -0700
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com>
To: "Dan Margolis" <dmargolisATnospamabm.com>
Cc: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: love is...
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980630180106.00c3a178ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 10:08 PM 28/06/98 -0700, Dan Margolis wrote:
>Dan MargolisATnospamABM
>06/28/98 10:08 PM
>>
>Wake up on the bad side of the acid trip today? It seems to me that you
>seem to be niggling over something that you would let pass if it were
posted by
>someone else. In fact these kind words were meant to have the exact opposite
>impact....
Mirror, mirror, as it goes. You and he both think I wrote it coz I was
cranky. Nope.
Lobster, previously persuaded me that email is not worth knotted panties..
I love Lobster, and I genuinely wanted to know he reason for this behavior.
Yes, you are right I probably wouldn't have asked anyone else.. because
nobody
else has persisted in reposting stuff as often, or for as long as he has.
It's not the first time I have asked. Genuine curiosity, without a hint
of malice.
(shrug) If it seemed very direct, it is simply coz I tend to relate to
folks in their own
style, as well as I am able, and he is a very direct person.. when he
chooses to be.
>> The point of spiritual evolution, it would seem, would be to learn to
>see love in everything.
>But some people may need to have repeated over and over until they realize
>it...
I am suspicious of motives that are based on "what other people need".
Were you speaking of yourself needing things repeated? Go buy a book.
<...> For many people
>though, practicing humility over and over falsely and incorrectly until
>they actually attain it is the only option they have...
I hardly see Lobster as being so limited.. Ha ha as if.
but I do see him impatient with another for behaving similarly.
Fake it till ya make it makes sense to me.. :)
>Unfortunately for you and the list Lobster isn't struggling to be right, to
> do what others expect or want from him, he's struggling to be true.
My judgment is, that you are being silly, on several counts of silliness.
Count 1) What makes you think this is unfortunate for anyone? Eh?
Count 2) Have you noticed that his photo in the archives is of a lobster?
If you think that is a true representation of his appearance, they you
are very silly and ought to qualify for some kind of award for it.
Count 3) What makes you think struggling is of value?
Count 4) If he is trying to be true, why is he posting something false?
Why is he using the words of someone else??
Count 5).. this one is the funniest.. who is not trying to be true? I
was trying to express the truth of what I see happening in Lobster.. if he
is really struggling to be true as you suggest, I would think offering such
information would be considered support. Certainly he would think so, as I
have observed him supporting others in that way many times.
Of course, it was not always received that way.. :)
So now I ask you..coz it's your turn.. what's yer point?
Lobster and I are both smart enough to know that anything we say of
another, is truly about ourselves.. and we have had such a wrangle many
times. Not lately tho.
So what is it you recognize in yourself in my words, that you got so bent
out of shape you had to post an impassioned defense of one who is obviously
so very capable of defending himself.. ??
Why indeed, did you perceive it as an attack, at all??
(shrug) I perceived the post as being all about me me me. That is all I
can write about, that is all I know. Me and my personal universe..hall of
mirrors. What I think, what I see, how I feel. My previous experiences
which shaped these perceptions, offered up as information.. the motive:
curiosity.
As I mentioned, I recognize these things coz they are also a part of me,
and by asking questions of the me that is Lobster, I might know more. I
already asked the reflection of Lobster inside me, and it LOL and told me
to go poke him about it and find out what he sez.
So I am.
Certainly not with any expectation that he would do as I ask. I already
know he will not, coz I have asked him before. I do not expect that he will
refrain from reposting private mail to the list, either. Simply because he
believes "Truth" to be more important that expectations of trust and
privacy.
In this, I don't see humility. He believes his own opinion of what is
"good" for someone to be more important than their own. He believes himself
superior to the scant list rules that we have in this madhouse, as if he is
above them in some way and they do not apply to such a wise Guru as himself.
>
>I'll end with a story by someone else:
>Idries Shah in 'Thinkers of the East"
><....>
Well Dan, I have to ask, what are you trying to prove, by posting this
story, and to whom??
That you can contradict yourself as well as Lobster? What for?
That anyone can post anything to the list? We know that already. It gets
proven all too
regularly... and you have already made your opinions of that clear.
So the moral of the story is:
> 'The solution,' said Bahaudin, 'is to realize that people must be
>improved inwardly, not just prevented by custom from showing their
coarseness and
>destructivity, and applauded if they do not.'
Yet just this week you wrote:
06/26/98 09:52 AM
Dear Ms. Serpent,
<<<< It has become apparent to me, and maybe to other list members, that
Paul West at this point is detrimental to the list. He seems to have no
ability to listen to what people are saying to him and to modify his
behavior based on suggestions from the group. >>>>>
And you finished that one up with a story about a Guru telling an
eager-but badly behaved student to go stuff it up his turnip.
So which is it Dan? Do we tell the rude people to go stuff it, or is it
OK to be rude if you are a Guru but not if you are a student? (Hmmm?? that
would seem the opposite of the poem which started this thread about love
only being pretty, fluffy and nice smelling, not to mention pretty tough
for students to survive expectations of them so that they can learn to be
rude in the proper fashion) :) (Oh yeah, nobody thinks Lobster is a guru,
you said.. sorry.. Uh.. wait a minute.. so which is it?)
Hmmm.. what else? It's OK to be rude and destructive if you make a good
point that everybody agrees with and they throw a party for your
cleverness?? Or is it agreement is superficial and we need rudeness to be
real?? Um..
I am asking all these questions coz I am genuinely wondering which of
them is the real you?? You are trying to be true, but you seem to be taking
on a lot of other opinions and speaking in many voices. Why are you
posting stories you have not written, that contradict each other? Tell me
where the truth is, Dan the self styled Guru? I have lost it in the maze of
contradictions you have woven, in your efforts to lead and teach.
>
><...> Mistress only being unusually cranky...
Well, thankyou for your judgment of crankiness. I always find it
interesting to find how people see me.. Frankly, I like to take people's
egos apart for fun and profit, if I needed to be cranky to want to do so, I
would have a pretty unhappy life, I think.. and I don't.
I do salute your guts, tho. Willingness to take on what you perceive as
a cranky Dominatrix who is out of control and behaving unreasonably, must
be an act of courage or maschochism.. mebbie both at once. I took it as a
compliment, that you enjoyed my dissection of Lobster so much you wanted
some, yourself, and asked for it by posting this juicy invitation to joust.
>But haven't we all been cranky lately.
>
Well, it's another judgment.
If you want a reason to go along with that, blame it on the Serpent.. the
sine wave of K. Solstice was a peak, now we are sliding the downside.. the
energy has gone to work on the stuff that it has brought up, to pick it
into tiny pieces that can be released.
Blessings, Mystress.
Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 18:02:35 -0700
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com>
To: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Faces of god
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980630180235.00c42890ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 07:59 PM 29/06/98 +0000, Paul West wrote:
>Hi.
>
>I am a little puzzled by there seeming to be a number of `god'
>experiences with seemingly different qualities.
What is All that is wears many faces.. infinite.
> A couple of days back I experienced a
>deep, refined emotion of great love,<..>And yesterday I was nowhere <..>
>would be to say it was a void of nothingness. And now I have in my
>mind some kind of sense of having no interest in anything other than
>basic necessities.
And posting to the list.. or is that a necessity?
It is the play of love and consciousness. Goddess is taking you on a tour
of polarities, so you will know where the middle path is. Great love to
lift the vibe, no love so you will miss it, and return with a new
appreciation for simple pleasures. Chop wood, carry water.
>I used to always think of God as being light, and of there being `another
side'
>with higher planes and so on. I am not sure if that isn't just a mind
>trick. <...>
Everything is a mind trick. Here's a good one. Infinity divided by
infinity is infinity... except you cannot divide infinity coz there is only
room in infinity for a single infinity. If something is infinite then there
is no room in the universe of anything that is not it, even the mirrors
walking around that reflect infinite specks of itself back to it..
God, is limitless manifestation.Light and dark and colors and shades of
gray. as you perceive. Everything also that you do not perceive. It is for
you to determine what aspects of this you wish to reflect most brightly.
>How
>is God really? What is he/she like? Light or dark, a feeling of love
>or an absence of all feelings?
You will not get much response to this coz most folks have more common
sense than to try to fit infinity into an email, using words.
Blessings, Mystress.
Date: 30 Jun 98 02:01:47 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: I gotta scream
Message-Id: <3598470B.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Sharon,
> And when you accept that side of yourself, you will find that your strength
> lives there. When you can finally love that dark side of yourself, you will
> become more whole.
This is a sheerly brilliant thing as I am coming to realise this
precicely at this time. I have been getting feelings of wanting to
suddenly rage, and have been trying to be more aware of it and
understand it. And I feel I am becoming more whole. This is cool. It
is not normal for me to stand up for myself and have integrity but
such things increase as you bring that shadow into the light.
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: 30 Jun 98 02:05:52 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Nothing > Transcendence Zone
Message-Id: <35984800.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Freda,
> You sure got a whole lot to say about something.....?
> for it BEing nothing.
Hehe, yea. I guess this is because secretly I have lost touch with it
and so there is some fear present and some desire present.
> Is there a point to your bringing this ??? dark, black thing ??? to our
> attention?
Perhaps not. Get out of it anything that you like.
> I don't know what it is.... thats for sure.... neither do you... thats
> apparant... and you dont seem to think that any one else has a clue
> either.... all dead ends.... with a WHOLE lot of gibberish to explain
> it.....
Yes. Silly isn't it.
> try just hushin' up and see if some-thing enters where the no-thing
> doesnt exist....
I have noticed, in the past, that I will reach a high and it will seem
like a spiritual plateu, a perfection, the best state possible. Later
though it turns out that it was still how things looked /at the time/,
and that there was further work to be done. This, as you rightly say,
may be the case again, in that perhaps the nothingness was there
to clear out blockages to let there be something further.
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: 30 Jun 98 02:36:45 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: I gotta scream
Message-Id: <35984F3D.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Matt Bastress,
> I am receiving some really insistent energy from somewhere
> concerning this word "evil".
>
> First of all, let me ask: Is there really evil?
Evil can only exist in the mind. But when it does, it can make it
appear that it exists in the world, by projection and seperation. I
used to go about telling people (electronic mail) that if you can see
evil you are evil. It was only a theory at the time but it has more
weight for me now. There are people who have evil in their mind, as
confusion and illusion and deception, to a great degree, and when they
go about projecting it onto the world it effects their whole
relationship with everything, and therefore has physical interaction.
It's a posessiveness, thought-self posessing the body to try and get
as much interaction with the real world as possible. That's why ego
loves the idea of having abilities without the responsibility, and of
attaining godly powers without having to give up its identity. So we
see this posession in people and it is very convincing that there is
physical evil then, especially if you in your own mind are not clear
enough to be blind to it. There is only one heaven but countless
hells but at the same time all the hells contain so much alikeness and
so much continuum that there is only one hell, and in like kind heaven
can be a diverse infinity.
> The very existence of evil is open to question, I would never
> call anyone evil. I used it metaphorically in a poem to offset
> the idea that life's a joke. It's a serious question.
There are supposed to be fallen angels and so on. I don't know about
that. Nor do I have any real interest in it. I really don't know. I do
know that, in some way, egocentricity is evil.
There is another way that people look at evil as well though... when
there is some duality, as seperation, as a general evil of continuum,
some people break off the darker-appearing parts of the duality and
call it `bad' and the lighter-appearing parts and call it good. And
then play the two against each other in a war. Truth is evil is only
ever at war with itself, true-good is always at peace.
> The past few days I've been going through a really bad bad K
> experience where it feels like some spirit is taking all his
> frustrations out on me and calling me evil. I think I offended
> him. He spent all his life being nice to people and now he
> wants to spend the rest of his life beating me up. I really
> almost feel like I'm losing my mind.
Try not to have fear. Watch yourself, your mind, your thoughts, as
they try to push out into the world, reaching out to grab onto parts
of the environment, projecting. Try not to let it do that and it will
prevent fear because fear is an intense clinging. The deepest fear
would be the most intense ego, which you might experience as evil.
Sometimes when I wake up my mother might be raising her voice
downstairs and arguing about something, and quite often my mind
`touches' her voice. I mean, it attatches to it, grabs it, replays it,
copies it, predicts it. I have to withraw that when it happens because
it is in a way fear.
> In my dreams people are trying to kill me.
Perhaps you are trying to kill you. Maybe you should ease up on the
spirituality for a while. Maybe you are taking things too fast and
your ego is having to compensate by glueing the pieces together.
> Anyway its really hard to be funny. And it's really hard to be
> polite. It feels more honest and loving to complain and scream
> and yell and use the word 'evil' rhetorically and try to fathom
> why this is happening.
Marry the two. Yes yell and scream, but not without love. And it must
be a stillness of love, peace, not just some pleasant-looking motive.
> Sorry if this is all self-centered. I can't see out of my own
> little world.
Maybe your past is caving in around you. Push it away. Literally shift
its position to behind you. Or even in front, to take a look at it.
Remember some good times. You know, when you are lost in the past,
which is the only place to get lost, there are lots of obstacles,
furniture. It seems impossible to get rid of the furniture. What you
can do however is reposition things, move them around. Put the
furniture behind you. Put it in the distance, on the horizon, and
remember only at a distance. Don't let yourself bring the past into
the present, to suggest that it is happening now. Admit that the past
is finished. It is not happening now, it has already been gone
through.
And then maybe do some hoovering to tidy up the dust from under the
chairs. And smile :-)
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
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