1998/06/28 12:12
kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #483
kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 98 : Issue 483
Today's Topics:
RE: Health Freedom [ "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es> ]
This list is too noisy! [ "Dhyani \"Debbie\"" <debhATnospammindsprin ]
RE: Enlightenment [ "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es> ]
Re: This list is too noisy! [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
Re: This list is too noisy! [ "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu> ]
Re: This list is too noisy! [ "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu> ]
Unidentified subject! [ "jim privacy" <jprivacyATnospamhotmail.com ]
Re: Change [ valerie cooper <vcooperATnospamptialaska.n ]
Re: This list is too noisy! [ "Ed Arrons" <eeaATnospamaug.com> ]
Re: Do chakras exist? [ "Lobster" <lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com> ]
Re: love is [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ]
Re: Paul west [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ]
re: your post to Debbie [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ]
Nothing [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
Re: Nothing [ Angela Mary Broad <ambroadATnospamacs.ucal ]
Re: Loss and Acceptance [ WEIVODAATnospamaol.com ]
Re: Loss and Acceptance [ freda <fredaATnospamnwlink.com> ]
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 02:49:55 +0100
From: "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es>
To: "K. list" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>, <david.bozziATnospamsnet.net>
Subject: RE: Health Freedom
Message-ID: <000101bda237$0d2d1040$6ef14dc3ATnospamjb>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
David:
[...]
> Unfortunately I am not being fanatical when I say the pharmaceutical
> industries
> (worldwide) and the FDA are hiding information, lying to the public,
> (FDA has been
> recently burning books regarding info on the herb stevia for example) to
> preserve
> sickness and disease in favor of the almighty $.
>
http://www.iahf.com/index1.html
Jan:
The food & medicine lobby are more powerful and harmful than the tobacco
lobby, so it will take a long time and many victims before it will come to
action but the lobbyists are part of the government. Recently, in Holland
ALL peanut-products were declared to be a danger for pregnant women.
Consuming anything (made) from peanuts during pregnancy will cause the newly
born to have allergies. Natural hygienists have always considered peanuts to
be "bad" food. Disease is by far the most lucrative business on the planet,
alas. Health-related sites:
(I hope the links are still valid)
http://www.io-online.com/~nature/shelton.html natural hygiene (founder
Herbert Shelton)
http://www.all-natural.com/ natural health
and longevity
http://www.fruitarian.com/ fruit diet
http://www.islandnet.com/~arton/fruit.html
http://www.auto-urine.com/english.htm the cheapest medicine
on earth
http://lef.org//index-txt.html life extension
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 22:11:09 -0400
From: "Dhyani \"Debbie\"" <debhATnospammindspring.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: This list is too noisy!
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980627221109.006adb48ATnospampop.mindspring.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
I just checked my email today. I did not check it yesterday and I received
157 messages from this kundalini list.
Approximately half of the messages concerned Paul and also people writing
cutsie little jokes to each other that I would consider personal info.
When I finally discovered a serious message it was from Kristin who had
just lost a dear friend to a horrible death. I thought it was pathetically
interesting to notice how many absurd and irrelevant messages came before
this one. Am I the only one who noticed this imbalance?
I frankly don't have time to weed through a bunch of personal jokes and
irrelevant comments to dig out the important stuff. I would deeply
appreciate (and I'm sure I'm not alone) if people would refrain from
putting one line messages on this list such as: "Thanks for the info" or
"Boy isn't Paul a weirdo" or "I agree with you".
If you wish to talk to someone about something that does not really concern
others, please send them a personal message. DO NOT POST PERSONAL MESSAGES
ON THIS LIST.
I have responded to several people already in this manner. Not everything
I say needs to be heard by everyone.
Consider the approach that the words you write may have the power to change
someone else's life for the better or worse. If we all considered our
words that carefully before we spoke we might not waste them so much.
I want everyone to know that I really am angry about this because I do not
have lots of time to waste. I want to use this list for serious
communication and if that is not possible, I will get off.
I am not being judgemental. Everyone's time is valuable, not just mine.
But I deeply value the free time I have and I have plenty of better things
to do.
I would also urge those who feel the need to analyze Paul to form their own
list. In my opinion, Paul is not broken and doesn't need everyone to fix
him. An old therapist I had used to say:
"A family is a dictatorship where the sickest member rules"
In this case, I see Paul as having the potential to control the
communication on this list and maybe he likes that. If everyone would
practice ignoring those who choose to abuse their communication rights they
might shutup and go away.
Dhyani
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 04:12:55 +0100
From: "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es>
To: "K. list" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>,
"April May" <aprill2468ATnospamyahoo.com>
Subject: RE: Enlightenment
Message-ID: <000201bda242$a58a7de0$6ef14dc3ATnospamjb>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
April wrote:
> Hi Listers!
> I'm a periodic lurker on the k list. I've come up with several
> questions for you:
> 1. Is anyone on the list enlightened?
> 2. What is enlightenment?
> 3. How would an enlightened person's day-to-day actions or
> experiences differ from an unenlightened person's day-to-day
> experiences?
> 4. Does anyone have any good book recommendations about this subject?
>
> Thanks for your responses.
>
> April
Jan:
1) Because in a "text only" environment this is a matter of belief,
no one will give a serious answer. You would have to meet
the listers in person, to find out for yourself.
2) Enlightenment is the first samadhi with the ego completely
surrendered. Only when the ego is completely absent,
something is unveiled and recognized as Reality
(existence, consciousness, bliss) that never was absent.
As even the smallest bit of ego still is ego,
it has to be completely absent. After recognition of Reality
one is enlightened.
3) The objective experiences like heat, cold, hunger etc.
will remain same but subjectively enlightenment changes
everything. The actions of an enlightened one will only
appear unchanged for the onlooker. An enlightened one will be
intent on the complete removal of the veil and will
transform life into meditation.
4) Reading any book on the subject would IMO be a waste of time.
A practice of self-surrender and meditation would be more appropriate.
Date: 28 Jun 98 04:24:39 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: This list is too noisy!
Message-Id: <3595C49B.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Dear Dhyani,
> In this case, I see Paul as having the potential to control the
> communication on this list and maybe he likes that. If everyone would
> practice ignoring those who choose to abuse their communication rights they
> might shutup and go away.
You raise good points about recent list content. You will see input
from me drastically reducing and become of better quality. I find it
intriguing as you do to see how much has come out of the woodwork in
reaction to the supposed threat of someone evil being nearby. Some
people on the list are hipocrits, espousing conduct-rules left right
and center only to violate them in the next breath. We all learn just
as much from having a truly wise person around as we do from having a
`wiseguy' (like myself?) around. I wonder if maybe the list had been
too cosy for a while and needed a bit of contrast to counteract the
spiritual imagery and draw some people out of their hiding places. I
hope things will die down and get real again. It's all in the name of
balance. I think some people are embarassed. I am relinquishing the
degree of my control and hopefully other people will get back to
normal soon as well. It all works out alright in the end.
The list is about to blossom.
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 23:45:47 -0400
From: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: This list is too noisy!
Message-ID: <00d801bda247$3d62ba20$add11fa8ATnospamsharonwe>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
God, Paul, why don't you just hush before we take up a collection to have
somebody break your typing fingers?
>>I am relinquishing the
degree of my control and hopefully other people will get back to
normal soon as well. It all works out alright in the end.>>
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 00:10:21 -0400
From: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: This list is too noisy!
Message-ID: <013e01bda24a$abfb61a0$add11fa8ATnospamsharonwe>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
I apologize for my intemperate remark. I am not feeling spiritual, nor
charitable tonight. I will not blame this, however, on k. I will blame it
on Paul West who just posted his most pompous and asinine email to date.
I am not feeling spiritual, but I am feeling creative. As a matter of fact,
I just created a folder called "garbage" and I have instructed my email
program to deposit any further offerings from Paul into it.
Sharon
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 21:14:09 PDT
From: "jim privacy" <jprivacyATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Unidentified subject!
Message-ID: <19980628041409.14557.qmailATnospamhotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Hi everyone!
I'm new to this list and haven't properly introduced myself yet. I had a
k awakening experience in 1982. It seemed to be triggered by several
external events in the preceding months: a 2-day meditation intensive
where "shaktipat" initiation was given; the death ("mahasamadhi") of my
guru; and immediately prior, a weekend spent doing "seva" (selfless
service) at the local meditation center. I'll go into more detail on the
experience in another post, if anyone wants to hear.
I'm looking for some technique and qualified teacher(s) to help me at
this stage, and would welcome advice from everyone here. K awakening has
dramatically improved my life, my attitude, intuition, mental sharpness,
emotional maturity, etc. Want to make sure I don't just sit here at my
current state but continue to make progress. I don't have a "formal"
spiritual practice these days, but am trying to see my entire day --
even the mundane tasks -- as spiritual. I no longer want to divide my
experiences into "spiritual" vs. "worldly," if that makes sense to you.
Thanks for any help you can give. Love, -Jim
______________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 20:23:31 -0800
From: valerie cooper <vcooperATnospamptialaska.net>
To: DruoutATnospamaol.com
CC: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Change
Message-ID: <3595C53D.226FATnospamptialaska.net>
DruoutATnospamaol.com wrote:
>
> In a message dated 98-06-26 22:51:28 EDT, paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk writes:
>
> << How do you handle it when you go through a change, on your own,
> unaccompanied by others? >>
> Dear Paul,
>
> Some of us READ.
>
> Love, Hillary
well, there's yoga stretches & breathing exercises, & deep inner
contemplation...
Some people join Tai Chi or martial arts classes...
vc
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 00:56:41 -0400
From: "Ed Arrons" <eeaATnospamaug.com>
To: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: This list is too noisy!
Message-Id: <199806280455.AAA25910ATnospamsandia.aug.com>
God, Paul, why don't you just hush before we take up a collection to have
somebody break your typing fingers?
---------------
A little pomp here and there aint gonna hurt anybody.
But ya gott watch out for dose Mafia chicks. :-)
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 21:51:26 +0100
From: "Lobster" <lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com>
To: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Do chakras exist?
Message-ID: <000301bda255$b670af40$564795c1ATnospamdefault>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
>Hi,
>
>I came across this Ken Wilbur quote on another list and I would like to
hear
>your opinions about it.
>
>Thanks,
>
>Sharon
>------------------
>"And yet, strictly speaking, final liberation, being the timeless
>and therefore eternal condition of all worlds and selves, is not
>so much the _result_ of the _action_ of untying these knots, but
>rather the tacit acknowledgment that these knots do not, and
>cannot, obstruct ultimate consciousness. Liberation, in short,
>is not the actual untying of these knots, but the silent admission
>that they are already untied. Herein lies the key to the paradox
>of the chakras: They are ultimately dissolved in the realization
>that they need not be dissolved."
>
>"Finally, therefore, the chakras are not real -- in the sense
>that they do not pose a barrier to self-realization, nor do they
>constitute mandatory stages in an upward climb to liberation. In
>the last analysis, there are no stages in eternity -- nor any
>ladder _to_ the infinite that does not begin _with_ the infinite.
>That the chakras in themselves are not real is the conclusion of
>most of the great sages, siddhas, mystics, and masters, such as
>Krishnamurti, Sri Ramana Maharshi, Shankara, Bubba Free John,
>and virtually all Ch'an and Zen masters. To quote but one, the
>illustrious Sri Ramana Maharshi: "Do not waste time meditating on
>chakras, nadis, padmas, or mantras of deities, or anything else
>of the kind. The six subtle centers (chakras) are merely mental
>pictures and are meant for beginners in yoga."
>
>"And yet -- and this is the point to which much of our discussion
>must be directed -- the chakras do _appear_ real to the separate
>self who constructs these knots in his flight both from death
>and from a prior unity with all manifestation....."
This morning I was doing a meditation that involved a Lotus, a Buddha and a
Lobster. Apart from myself none of the visualisation is 'real', yet it has
an effect. Similarly focussing on different centres in a multitude of ways
develops certain faculties. The faculties are the coarsest element that the
ignorant are always interested in.
I have to agree with Ramana Maharshi that chakra tickling is for beginners.
This is why I constantly state if you want to raise snakes, good luck to
you. Do not think this is anything to do with spirituality; it is
emotionalism, psychism and party tricks. There is nothing wrong with that.
You may think your spiritual life consists of the colour of astral flame
that comes out of your left nostril. I would say that your spiritual life
compromises of your capacity to be kind and to Love. It is your ability to
transform and be transformed. It is your acts of self less generosity. It is
your commitment to put effort into life and ease that effort for others.
That is your spiritual life and that is the way to enlightenment.
Be Well
Chakra Deva Lobster
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 02:35:35 -0700
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com>
To: "Lobster" <lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com>
Cc: "Kundalini - L" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: love is
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980629023535.00c2450cATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 06:55 AM 26/06/98 +0100, Lobster wrote:
>AGAPE
>
>love is not <..>
>love is not <....>
>love does not<...>
>love is not <...>
>love is not <...>
>love is the life of God
>and the life of God is YOU.
>
> --Kaffea Lalla
>
Bizarro. Lobster, why can you not comprehend that the K-list is a
conversation and not a library? Why must you keep using bandwidth to post
items which you did not write, and do not even comment on?? What's yer point?
You have a wonderful large mailing list and website, can you not confine
your needs to play librarian to that space? Post in on your site, you can
get 400 hundred folks to read it that way, I'm sure.. but cut it out with
the (I'm yer Guru-what other folks need-Good intentions-path to hell)
repostings of philosophy, please.
In any case, this poetry you find so important and worth sharing
obviously makes no sense.. God is All that is, and God is love, so love
must indeed be all of those negative things the poem listed.. whether we
interpret it thusly or not.. as the expressions of your very own crusty
self has shown on many occasions. :)
The point of spiritual evolution, it would seem, would be to learn to see
love in everything. You're a wise guy, you know that already..
So the point of this poem, it would seem, would be to affirm judgments
and stay stuck.
Seems like you were giving somebody else a hard time recently for exactly
that, eh?
So what's yer point?
My expectation of your response, is that you will reply with self
depreciating humor.
Self depreciating humor does not equate with humility.. and it is not any
evidence of your openness underneath that shell.. but rather another mask.
(shrug) in theatre we were taught to realize the power of the "happy-low
status" character in comedy.
Chaplin was a Master at it, so is Robin Williams. Jerry Lewis made an
entire career out of it. Such characters are very lovable, because there is
nothing to fear from them.
Such a strategy engages without sparking resistance at status, so it does
not invoke suspicion of a closer look to notice that it is a mask.... and
being happy, it does not invoke resistance in the form of guilt and pity.
Very smooth mask Lobster, very effective..
The other mask you wear most often, like in this post, is hiding behind
the words of other writers rather than speaking from your own mind.
Which is something else you accused someone of doing recently.. parroting
spiritual teachings. You are better coz you credit the original author?
Funny guy.. so does he.. :)
Another comedy style is to confess to all misdeeds without remorse or
hint of change.. (yes, I did it, I am a shithead, and I will probably do it
again tomorrow. I did these other things too.. You can hate me if you want,
I deserve it but love me anyways coz I am humble and open about my faults.)
This is a very disarming strategy coz most folks expect to struggle to
be right, and it upsets their balance to be right immediately, and so they
are unlikely to press the point and seek you to change or be punished in
some way.
Verrrry slippery, Lobster.
So it is apparent to me, in your disapproval of Paul West, that you are
speaking of yourself.. and I know that you know it also.
What I am wondering, is whether you plan to take your own advice, and
stop posting until you can change yourself enough to be real? ?
Wondering, but without expectations... Mystress.
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 16:14:17 -0700
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com>
To: "Lobster" <lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com>
Cc: "Dan Margolis" <dmargolisATnospamabm.com>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Paul west
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980628161417.00c2cb28ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
I'll tell you what I tell everyone who ask me to unsubscribe them:
Instructions for unsubscribing yourself using the automatic system are
below. Happy Trails!
At 09:24 PM 26/06/98 +0100, Lobster wrote:
>However there is person who listens even less. Refuses to acknowledge the
>existence of 'K'. Posts irrelevant, rude, unspiritual and downright
>confrontational posts. Yes that's right - I demand that I be removed from
>the list before Paul.
>
>
>Be Well
>Lobster
>(thinking of the turnips)
>
>
>> Dan M.
>>
>>
>>The teacher replied, "I suggest you stop up your ears, and only think of
>>turnips."
>>
>>"Should I do this during the meditations and exercises or after?"
>>
>>"You should do this instead of attending the meditations and lectures."
>
>
>
>
If you need more info, feel free to write to me at
kundalini-l-ownerATnospamexecpc.com
Love and electric blue K. fire, List Mystress.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Website <http://www.execpc.com/~libra/kund/kundgate.htm>
in europe <http://www.telebyte.nl/~frans/kundalini/>
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*******************************
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 02:34:55 -0700
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com>
To: "b bah" <happyhunaATnospamhotmail.com>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: re: your post to Debbie
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980629023455.00b78864ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 04:54 PM 26/06/98 PDT, b bah wrote:
> Hi,
>
> Thanks for sending that wonderful message to Debbie. also thanks for
>copy to the rest of K folks.
You are welcome. It was good for me, too.. smoke?
> Gosh a wish i was as articulate as you and
>and 10 or 12 other Klites!!!
You are. Underneath off of the layers of K-fired giggles and laughter and
outrageous shyness you too have the still voice that always knows what
needs to be said, and how to say it. The key is not to think of what to
say, but rather to completely listen to the other person and allow spirit
to come thru to respond.
That's the muse.. it comes up with everything, even metaphors of pickled
frogs.
They are fun to write, I often find myself going back to my own writing
over and over to fully understand myself, what Spirit has said thru me.
Everytime I re-read it it gives me new information.
Since I'm kinda busy these days, I usually don't write unless spirit
moves me to.
> Mystress should have had a pool on how long the latest unlister would
>be really unlisted/non lurking. giggle, giggle, barb
>
Yes, and don't forget our upcoming bake sale and raffle.. bingo nite is
Tuesdays.
Blessings, Mystress.
>
>______________________
>Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
>
>
>
Date: 28 Jun 98 15:17:45 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Nothing
Message-Id: <35965E99.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Hi.
What is going on when you actually experience `blackness' with your
consciousness, in which blackness is an actual state of mind? Is that
nothingness? I experienced absolute certainty, and a quality of
`godlyness'. Not a theory or an ideal, but an actual sort of texture,
a quality, of the nature of God. And also I experienced that this
emptyness was total peace. There was nothing there, sheer blackness.
No center to the self, and yet there was self, and self was God. And
it was all the same thing. And there was nothing that wasn't in
consciousness. No-thing could be avoided, no part of it denied or
escaped from. Thoughts arose and were the most primitive mental
illnesses caught up in themselves, totally blind. Absolutely, totally,
completely nothing, as an emptyness of all `things', just purely and
wholly deadly black.
To slot this in amongst the pretend continuum of time, in which
there was a temporary break, that break occured to me this morning.
Just a total singularity of which it could be described many different
attributes, but there was only one thing. God, awareness, love, peace,
transcendence, nothingness, reality, clarity, sanity, and black.. just
SO black.
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 12:04:20 -0600 (MDT)
From: Angela Mary Broad <ambroadATnospamacs.ucalgary.ca>
To: Paul West <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Nothing
Message-Id: <Pine.A41.3.96.980628114521.55524A-100000ATnospamacs1.acs.ucalgary.ca>
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
Hello
This is the first time I've heared another refer to this 'black'.
Sometimes I feel I'm next to or surrounded by a wall or infinitly
powerfull 'dot' or a huge void of rushing black space. It is just
outside/beyond the curtin of this realtiy, ever so often I'll beleive that
the curtin grows thin...if I thought about it long enough my reality would
shatter leaving this black consciousness. It is all of space, so huge it
is incomprehensible... A kind of power... I would be absorbed, be all
of it and be utterly lost all at the same time. I guess I feared this
black, because it didn't contain light or endless love or bliss, just the
true imense consciousness, pure mind... It held power as an imense sky
with racing toweriing clouds and a furious wind, or a sandstorm or a
raging waterfall but utterly silent. Is this the blacknes you speak of?
I wonder what it is for it seems my experiances of the divine come from
being in nature, seeing and beginning to comphrened the order of the
universe :) hearing the music of the trees (litteraly) and the way it all
conects, the patterns and the life which IS and flows through everything.
The bliss from high triggered by a beautifull song...the endless d..(oops)
light. It has a shimmery sound and is purple-white....If god is eternal
consciousness blackness nothing.....power of pure...existance, where's the
love? where's the light, growing, glowing in the heart...I don't know. I
know this blackness you speak of, but is it Good? is it maybe a 'space'
with the energy of the universe withing but God is morethen that?
Love and Light
Angie
On 28 Jun 1998, Paul West wrote:
>
> Hi.
>
> What is going on when you actually experience `blackness' with your
> consciousness, in which blackness is an actual state of mind? Is that
> nothingness? I experienced absolute certainty, and a quality of
> `godlyness'. Not a theory or an ideal, but an actual sort of texture,
> a quality, of the nature of God. And also I experienced that this
> emptyness was total peace. There was nothing there, sheer blackness.
> No center to the self, and yet there was self, and self was God. And
> it was all the same thing. And there was nothing that wasn't in
> consciousness. No-thing could be avoided, no part of it denied or
> escaped from. Thoughts arose and were the most primitive mental
> illnesses caught up in themselves, totally blind. Absolutely, totally,
> completely nothing, as an emptyness of all `things', just purely and
> wholly deadly black.
>
> To slot this in amongst the pretend continuum of time, in which
> there was a temporary break, that break occured to me this morning.
> Just a total singularity of which it could be described many different
> attributes, but there was only one thing. God, awareness, love, peace,
> transcendence, nothingness, reality, clarity, sanity, and black.. just
> SO black.
>
>
> --
> Paul.
>
> IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
> WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
> E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
>
>
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 14:46:38 EDT
From: WEIVODAATnospamaol.com
To: dmargolisATnospamabm.com, Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Loss and Acceptance
Message-ID: <7ee0ef99.35968f8fATnospamaol.com>
In a message dated 98-06-26 12:15:43 EDT, you write:
>Don't accept it. Scream, howl, cry, yell. It isn't right. It isn't fair.
>Don't look for a way to deal with this. Don't mince around and accept
>condolences... Don't put on a brave face, or rationalize via past lives or
>karma. It hurts... Let it hurt. Let it all fall apart..
After the funeral the other day, I went back to the hotel I was staying in,
went in to my room, sobbed, screamed; then just layed in bed and cried all
night. It felt like I released some feelings, and aslo bit of anger. Right
now though, I am just trying to hold it together.
Kristin
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 11:59:47 -0700
From: freda <fredaATnospamnwlink.com>
To: WEIVODAATnospamaol.com
CC: dmargolisATnospamabm.com, Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Loss and Acceptance
Message-ID: <359692A3.72F4ATnospamnwlink.com>
Dear Kristin,
You go girl....
I cried for eight whole weeks!!!!!
day and night,,,, even woke up with my pillow wet from crying in my
sleep....
you do what you need to do....
and it does get better.... sometimes I feel so deeply that it is real
hard to get to IT to let it get better....
but it will. promise.
sendin' ya a rainbow.... where better to stand and weep than in the love
of the light of the promise of god ---shinnin' thru your tears...
freda
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