1998/05/20 21:37
kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #388
kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 98 : Issue 388
Today's Topics:
The big one - explosions [ Paul West <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co ]
Re: Subconscious pressure [ Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic ]
Re: Sleepy [ kristin <kristinATnospamaol.com> ]
Re: Sleepy [ Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic ]
Re: Sleepy [ "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu> ]
Re: The Compleat Technical Guide to [ MMeyers541 <MMeyers541ATnospamaol.com> ]
Re: Scientific studies of Kundalin p [ MMeyers541 <MMeyers541ATnospamaol.com> ]
Re: Subconscious pressure [ "Antoine" <acarreATnospamconcentric.net> ]
Re: The big one - explosions [ Druout <DruoutATnospamaol.com> ]
Date: 21 May 98 02:16:50 +0000
From: Paul West <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: The big one - explosions
Message-Id: <35638941.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Ann, you wrote me a couple of private emails, but are k related so I
thought I'd just reply here.
You asked me to define what I meant by explosions and wether they were
painful or not. You also asked if I do daily k work.
The answer to the last question is that, really, I don't do ANY k
work. Well maybe I do as an ongoing thing you know, just as my
inquision into things or my wondering about myself. But I don't sit
down to meditate or do chakra work or anything like that. Should I?
Onto the explosions... I am not too sure where I got the term
explosion from to be honest. It's a bit dramatic.
I think I wrote something about these events in my introduction.
Anyway. The first time I was asleep and dreaming, but it wasn't an
ordinary dream. It was sort of real-life, like I was conscious. It
wasn't just some old story. After much ado on the ground at what
seemed to be my own funeral I was whisked up into the air by a being,
a male human, whose body and robes (hooded as well I think) were a
semi-transparent orangy colour, glowing with its own light. He took me
up into the sky, holding me from behind. I entered a wooden shack
place, which was sort of like a place to wait for some kind of relief
or something. I watched the golden being enter the body of a man. He
shook a lot and then the being re-emerged. The bloke was surprised to
be alive. I only really saw his body but something had clearly
happened to his consciousness. The golden being did the same to
another man.
Then it was my turn. He walked around me, was very calm and sort of
like a doctor preparing for something. He told me that he was going
to give me a new body. I was fairly alright about this. I asked if he
could give me psychic powers. He said "we'll see". He stopped in front
of me and just entered me, merged with me. I went into and beyond his
eyes. It was black at first. It was like I was inside my body and
could not see past its walls. From the outside inwards from all
directions came a cool feeling. Then from the inside out came a warm
feeling. Just a sort of wave of energy. Then a heat came in from all
directions from the outside, actually sort of going inside me. Then
vibrations started to happen. They seemed to travel from foot to head,
in that direction. It wasn't subtle either, it was just real big
blobs, like turbulence. It got faster and faster and stronger and
stronger. At this time I was kind of like someone trying to keep their
head just above water to stay alive. The only thing I could do was try
and /be/, because that was the only part of `me' that wasn't being
bombarded. Really, the only way I can best describe it is to call it
an express train. If you could possibly imagine that you were,
perhaps, a ghost, and you stood on the rails as a full-speed train
hurtled through your body. Imagine that you could feel every part of
it passing through you, the rush of it, the speed, the sheer roar of
it ploughing through you so fast that you can barely keep track of
yourself. It was like that. Only vertically. It was so completely
intense. You asked if it were painful. It was uncomfortable, in the
sense that it did not let up one single moment. A constant onslaught
of energy ploughing through my like an incredible wind, or train,
hundreds of miles an hour, feroceous. While this was going on and I
was barely able to keep track of the fact that I existed, I looked
forwards through what was some kind of portal thing, or window. Just
outside of it were these strange swirling patterns, slow-moving,
gracious, nice colours. I think that in some way it was something to
keep my mind on - like the way I'd look into the light at the dentists
to try and not be too caught up in what he was doing. The rushing and
everything was immediately stopped and I was standing in the same
place next to the bloke. Nobody else around though. He told me "you
did well". By way of his own looking I followed his gaze to see a
pregnant woman and a small alien-looking humanoid with white skin and
a big head putting its hand onto the stomach area - and it was glowing
from the inside out.
I didn't entirely understand the last bit. I don't know if this is a
dream of reincarnation perhaps.
The second full-on event came about shortly after a suddenly upsurge
of personal freedom one day as I found myself being tremendously
unattatched and liberated from my parents. That night while asleep I
began a dream. It started as it meant to finish. I was standing
somewhere outdoors. In my heart was an astonishing passion, feeling,
love. Total awe. All I could see before me was the part of the Earth I
was standing on, the blue sky above, some clouds. But on a
consciousness level I WAS the Earth. In that absolute love the only
thing I could see was life. Everything was life. The beingness of
things was life. Everywhere was an aliveness. (Just talking about this
is setting my crown chakra tingling!). I could not see beyond the
barrier of the sky, but I realised this and the fact that the universe
was out there. Suddenly it hit me that not only was the entire Earth
alive, but the whole universe. The WHOLE universe, infinity, was
absolutely alive. Every part of it. There was life everywhere.
Absolutely everything was alive. I was the Earth and I was the
universe. It was all alive. That's what I was. My heart was filled to
bursting with passionate love, my eyes were on the verge of tears.
In the moment that I realised the whole universe was alive everything
was dark, at the exact same instant that my entire body was suddenly
filled with pulsating and rippling energies and vibrations. I
suppose that it only happed in my local vicinity - the size of my body
- but it was larger than my body shape, sort of covering a spherical
expanse, and I was aware of every part of it. And the really strange
thing was that every ripple of energy, every blob, every pulse, was
different from all the others. There was absolutely nothing that any
of them had in common. Nothing at all. A complete diversity. And yet,
at the same time, ALL of them were the same thing. They were all
at-one, in harmony, together, like seeing all the beast of the jungle
holding hands. I did not see with my eyes, I /was/ with my
consciousness. There was many many little pockets of or pocket-sized
explosions of energy, coming into and out of existence, and no two
were alike, even though they were ALL completely united. There was
something completely one about every single part. I could not sense a
body shape for myself, or for my consciousness. There was just what
was, just awareness.
The third time came about somewhat more recently, although all three
of these have occured in the past 3-4 years. I was asleep, dreaming,
and in the dream I decided to run. Just to run, free, wherever I
wanted. There was this long lane running up a hill which I went up. I
got to the top and ran all the way back down. I was quite tired, but I
went up again. Just free running for the freedom of it. I turned a
corner and looked accross to my right, where some bloke was standing
amidst a lot of bushes, seemingly a bit confused. Maybe that was my
ego. I ran past this. There seemed to be some flames somewhere but I
can't remember where. I went along this flat road, on the footpath.
Halfway along, suddenly a vehicle sped towards me. It just fitted the
width of the path. It was a small van, the whole front was flat, and
there was a driver. He was kind of wierd. Not entirely human, but
humanoid, not exactly alien. Maybe spirit. He had this immense
eagerness in his eyes, like his sole intention was to mow me down, but
that this was exciting and fun. Escstatic.
As the speeding vehicle got to me it flattened me to the floor. Then
it turned into a real express train. I was like the traintracks. It
roarer over me, I felt every wheel passing, every carriage. And so
many carriages. It was going one hell of a speed, so many wheels. It
rolled me flat, flat as a pancake. My entire sense of self was
completely flattened. Next thing I knew I was in bed. It seemed like
my real bed in my real bedroom. I do NOT know if I was dreaming
anymore, I might have been awake. I got up from what was a completely
flat pancake-me. And the only thing that DID get up was pure
consciousness. The room was quite dark, it was the middle of the night
after all. There was this most wonderful pervading /presence/. Like
everything everywhere was watching with one eye. But only watching,
not threathening. I had absolutely no sense of self. I could not,
therefore, even think to myself that I was where I was. I had no
seperation in me whatsoever, I was completely unable to look at myself
as if from the outside - like we do in normal life to make ourselves
believe we exist. And I can only say this on reflection, I could not
do it at the time. It was not to be. I walked to the window. I
wondered if aliens were abount. I think that by aliens I mean souls or
something. There was this deadly-seriousness about everywhere, around
and in me and as me. Like a great forwardness, focus, attention,
giving total attention to everything, but not the same as
narrow-minded concentration. Just totally aware. That seriousness was
a /meaningfullness/. I stood for something real and important. There
was almost something magical in the air, like a real possibility,
capability, a tremendous freedom and creativity. And always there was
this deep presence. I seem to remember that I went downstairs and that
standing in the living room was a man and his wife and son, and they
were dark-brown skinned, and they looked like they were in a state of
shock, yet calm. I did not know who they were, but I loved them. The
feeling of seriousness, of importance, was completely unshakeable. I
/knew/. And even though I had no seperate from which to look at
myself, I could still act, could still move, could still think, could
still operate in the everyday world - yet I had absolutely no
attatchment. And everywhere was the full omipresence of God.
That just about concluded that third episode. I'm still not sure
wether after being steamrolled I was in the dream world. I was in
/reality/, and one cannot really say that it was here or there. It was
everywhere. Maybe I was in the physical world, but I was in the
spiritual too.
So these are my `big events', in some of which were explosions.
I have also had other higher states of consciousness that weren't so
dramatc. I have had a dream not long ago in which I was as, if not
more awake than I would be in waking life - like I hadn't gone to
sleep. Another time I crossed a river and God spoke to my sould and I
could not attatch to a single word with my mind, could not grasp any
of it, could not reflect on any of it. It slipped in and out, and was
the most beautiful and calm voice, and it was my own voice.
I have, to some extent, the seriousness and unshakeableness of that
devine state in me all the time. I try to be close to it. But it is
serious, it means business, but is yet understanding. It won't give an
inch to serve an ego, mind you.
I must re-ask though, has anything like this happened to anyone else?
--
Paul.
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 20:37:15 -0500
From: Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic.net>
To: valerie cooper <madammumATnospamptialaska.net>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Subconscious pressure
Message-Id: <l03010d01b18932a1dcb7ATnospam[207.71.51.11]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
valerie cooper <madammumATnospamptialaska.net> wrote:
><snip>
>Any trace of insensitivity
>within another person and I know about it immediately. I cannot avoid
>it. It throws up emotions of insecurity and hostility within me.
><snip>
>
>yes.
>snip<
>we would go to this big house in Portland, close all the
>drapes & doors, & watch television, maybe drink beers, & hide until we
>could get back OUTTA the mucky mire of repressed thoughtforms, before we
>became infected.
>And I am still like that. Without guards put up psychically, I
>empathically tend to absorb people's illnesses & bad feelings like a
>trash can.
I once got to know a man who was working as a professional "spiritual
reader." He told me he was living in New York City when, rather suddenly,
he became aware of the thoughts and feelings of people around him. It was
so depressing! He could hardly walk down a street without being horribly
depressed by all the feelings coming at him from all the people. He did a
lot of hibernating in his apartment. But finally, he said, he learned to
turn it on and off when he wanted to. When he saw people professionally,
he would tune in on that at first and tell them a few very specific things
that had just happened in their lives, just to establish rapport and
convince them that he really was picking up on them. Then he would go to
higher levels and begin to talk about the spiritual things they needed to
hear.
So it is possible to control that sensitivity. I don't know how he did it,
but I suspect the answer lies in keeping more (most?) of your conscious
awareness on higher levels, where negative emotions just don't exist.
Love,
Ann
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 21:48:18 EDT
From: kristin <kristinATnospamaol.com>
To: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk, Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Sleepy
Message-ID: <d83aa23f.356387e5ATnospamaol.com>
In a message dated 98-05-20 21:40:10 EDT, you write:
<< I think this is wierd though. I don't know if it happening in other
people. Any part of me that I just sort of forget about just goes to
sleep. But the real strange bit is how it wakes up. It's nothing like
when you wake up in the morning and have immediate full motion. And
what is the energies? It is the astral body realigning itself or
something, or consciousness redistributing itself into the physical
form? I certainly do know that the body has expanded when the leg is
asleep (it's usually a leg), and that it shrinks several inches when
deflating into the physical form - which corresponds with the
regaining of physical sensations. Am I an entity from the astral
plane? Why does my body behave in this way? And why, sitting here now,
do I feel that if this body were to be taken away I would still have
every part of me that I consider to be my identity? >>
In the past two weeks I have experience the same exact thing as you. I could
be sitting on the floor, or sitting in the chair, but my left leg will go to
sleep, and I experience everything that you spoke about. I have not figured
out why, or what, but it happens all the time with me. I have been waiting for
my right leg to do the same as my left, but it has not yet, maybe it might be
because my right leg is injured, but I don't know. I would also like to
understand what is going on with my leg falling asleep, and size changing.
Love,
Kristin
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 21:07:43 -0500
From: Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic.net>
To: Paul West <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Sleepy
Message-Id: <l03010d02b18938da52fdATnospam[207.71.51.11]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hi Paul!
>I would like to inquire about the way that my body goes to sleep.
>
>If I sit in a particular position for a few minutes a part of my body
>goes to sleep. Usually this is my legs.
Happens to everybody, Paul. A foot, a leg, a hand goes to sleep when the
blood flow is restricted enough. The "pins and needles" feeling is caused
by the blood rushing back into the capillaries. Part of the "going to
sleep" can also be from nerves being compressed.
Normally it's nothing to worry about, but I do have a warning. It may not
be healthy to let it go on for a long time.
I once slept for several hours in exactly the same position and woke up
with my right hand asleep. When it was still asleep after an hour, I went
to the hospital to find out if I'd had a stroke. The doctor told me there
had been pressure on a nerve for so long that it was damaged. He couldn't
say whether it would come back or not, said he'd known men - carpenters,
for instance - who had to change occupations after that happened.
I was working on a computer system at a newspaper, and I had to type with
one hand for a while. Slowly, over about a year, I regained complete
function in the hand.
>(snip) The /size/
>of my leg will shrink. It is like coming down from a higher plane and
>becoming closer to physical reality itself. It is like my leg will
>shrink is size. If my foot is on the floor I will gradually feel the
>bottom of my foot coming up to meet me. The difference is quite
>amazing. (snip) And
>what is the energies? It is the astral body realigning itself or
>something, or consciousness redistributing itself into the physical
>form? I certainly do know that the body has expanded when the leg is
>asleep (it's usually a leg), and that it shrinks several inches when
>deflating into the physical form - which corresponds with the
>regaining of physical sensations. Am I an entity from the astral
>plane? Why does my body behave in this way?
Sounds like you're gaining more awareness on other levels, so when your
foot's asleep, you're still aware of your etheric foot. As awareness of
your physical foot returns, it may not correspond exactly.
Sometimes in K. meditation I feel that a part of my body is in a certain
place, and if I open my eyes for a moment, I see that the physical body
isn't there at all. It was the etheric that I was sensing. Easier to do
that when you can just lay the body down and withdraw awareness from the
physical, forget about it. And if you're having a really wonderful time,
something that brings awareness of the physical can be a real party pooper!
:))
> And why, sitting here now,
>do I feel that if this body were to be taken away I would still have
>every part of me that I consider to be my identity?
Just not identifying with the physical any more - you know that isn't
really YOU.
Love,
Ann
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 22:13:59 -0400
From: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Sleepy
Message-ID: <009301bd845e$1ef050e0$94d11fa8ATnospamsharonwe>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Hi,
The sensation of the sleepy limb is nothing more than pressure on a nerve
leading to numbness. This is the same numbness that a person with a
paralyzed limb experiences. When the pressure is relieved the limb
experiences the pins and needles sensation as the nerve is stimulated again.
This is not, in my opinion, kundalini related at all.
Sharon
-----Original Message-----
From: kristin <kristinATnospamaol.com>
To: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>;
Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com <Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Date: Wednesday, May 20, 1998 10:06 PM
Subject: Re: Sleepy
>In a message dated 98-05-20 21:40:10 EDT, you write:
>
><< I think this is wierd though. I don't know if it happening in other
> people. Any part of me that I just sort of forget about just goes to
> sleep. But the real strange bit is how it wakes up. It's nothing like
> when you wake up in the morning and have immediate full motion. And
> what is the energies? It is the astral body realigning itself or
> something, or consciousness redistributing itself into the physical
> form? I certainly do know that the body has expanded when the leg is
> asleep (it's usually a leg), and that it shrinks several inches when
> deflating into the physical form - which corresponds with the
> regaining of physical sensations. Am I an entity from the astral
> plane? Why does my body behave in this way? And why, sitting here now,
> do I feel that if this body were to be taken away I would still have
> every part of me that I consider to be my identity? >>
>
>
>In the past two weeks I have experience the same exact thing as you. I
could
>be sitting on the floor, or sitting in the chair, but my left leg will go
to
>sleep, and I experience everything that you spoke about. I have not figured
>out why, or what, but it happens all the time with me. I have been waiting
for
>my right leg to do the same as my left, but it has not yet, maybe it might
be
>because my right leg is injured, but I don't know. I would also like to
>understand what is going on with my leg falling asleep, and size changing.
>Love,
>Kristin
>
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 22:15:49 EDT
From: MMeyers541 <MMeyers541ATnospamaol.com>
To: keutzerATnospameecs.berkeley.edu
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: The Compleat Technical Guide to Kundalini
Message-ID: <e85aafe3.35638e56ATnospamaol.com>
In a message dated 98-05-20 14:10:44 EDT, you write:
<< Michele: Ah, klinical kundalini.... Sigh.>>
KK: Let me guess - perhaps you think modern medicine is a wrong turn as
well?
Michele:
Hi Kurt, Actually not. I don't care what source I get good knowledge/healing
from.
But, actually, when I read your post...I was thinking of how when I was a
little girl I went bowling for years with my VERY stern Russian Grandpa Leon,
who, interestingly WAS an M.D., now that you mention it.
Twice a week I bowled with my grandfather (my coach). He would say, "Now, I
want you to stand a quarter of a board to your left and aim between the second
and third arrows on the right..." etc., etc.
But I just wanted to HAVE FUN! Rebellious Michele in the 60s & 70s TOTALLY
ignored her grandfather's very detailed instructions...& just DID it! ...with
virtually no effort...OFTEN getting strikes & high scores (frequently above
200)...driving Dr. Charney stark raving mad!! (The Zen of Bowling.) I was
the bowling queen of Monaco Lanes in Denver with over 25 trophies & an offer
by the bowling alley to sponsor me on the pro bowling circuit. I coulda been
on TV!! (But little hippie Michele was WAY too cool to do that.)
It's like word-processing. Who wants to go thru steps 1-2,050 to perform some
operation when you can use a simple macro. It's like using your
intuition--I'd rather have a quick flash of insight (& sense of "knowing")
rather than rationally, logically, analytically...& VERY slowly make a
decision, for example. I just happen to think that if k-awakening is your
path, it will happen (mostly) easily & naturally...at the right time. If, as
Mystress said in a previous post, you're struggling too hard to do something,
perhaps you're doing the wrong thing.
Take it easy...& take care,
Michele
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 22:25:47 EDT
From: MMeyers541 <MMeyers541ATnospamaol.com>
To: serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Scientific studies of Kundalin phenomena
Message-ID: <1be06d69.356390acATnospamaol.com>
In a message dated 98-05-20 18:24:08 EDT, you write to KK.:
<< The truth makes you laugh, that's how to recognize it..
then when you really understand it, it makes you cry. >>
Hi MAS,
That's absolutely the simplest & most beautiful explanation of the condition
my condition is in. Have just committed it to memory. Many
thanks!--Bipolar/Non-dual Michele
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 22:51:06 -0400
From: "Antoine" <acarreATnospamconcentric.net>
To: "valerie cooper" <madammumATnospamptialaska.net>,
"Ann Morrison Fisher" <annfisherATnospamstic.net>
Cc: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: Subconscious pressure
Message-ID: <01bd8463$4d415d40$1ef4adceATnospamconcentric>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
>So it is possible to control that sensitivity. I don't know how he did it,
>but I suspect the answer lies in keeping more (most?) of your conscious
>awareness on higher levels, where negative emotions just don't exist.
I would rather say it's more by stopping to be attached to what you call
negative emotions. As being part of us. Becoming transparent to them, yet
not insensitive to them. But maybe are we saying the same thing.
Antoine
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 23:36:07 EDT
From: Druout <DruoutATnospamaol.com>
To: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: The big one - explosions
Message-ID: <3423e86c.3563a128ATnospamaol.com>
In a message dated 98-05-20 21:44:14 EDT, paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk writes:
<< Onto the explosions... I am not too sure where I got the term
explosion from to be honest. It's a bit drama >>
Dear Paul,
I don't think you're being overly dramatic at all!! Mine take over the brain.
The brain explodes in pleasure. Sometimes there are visual fireworks.
Sometimes my whole body explodes. They take the breath away. My body is stiff
with the pleasure. On rare occasions I reach a state that I cannot later
recall. Bliss. Delicious. I relate to the freight train, too! More
tomorrow, though, tired from a long day!
Love, Hillary
Love, Hillary
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