1997/12/08 19:37
kundalini-l-d Digest V97 #805
kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 97 : Issue 805
Today's Topics:
Re: AutoPost from Kundalini Resource [ "Susan Carlson" <divine_goddessATnospamhot ]
RE: Bondage by Karma or Freedom by C [ Mike Stickles <msticklesATnospamantalys.co ]
Re: Enlightenment [ "Harsh K. Luthar" <hlutharATnospamresearch ]
Re: Enlightenment [ Kurt Keutzer <keutzerATnospamsynopsys.com> ]
winter [ "Debora A. Orf" <dorf01ATnospammail.win.or ]
Re: soul mates and Karma [ jaxx <jaxxATnospamihug.co.nz> ]
An African Elegy [ Gloria Lee <glorybeATnospamintrepid.net> ]
ego or Ego [ TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH) ]
Re: Enlightenment [ TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH) ]
Sexual Chakra Energy/Kundalini [ TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH) ]
Sexual Chakra Energy/Kundalini [ TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH) ]
Re: Healing Energe to Anchorage [ TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH) ]
Enlightenment Traits [ tgxxxATnospamjuno.com (tg langston) ]
Re: Enlightenment [ Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net ]
Re: Be here NOW [ amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us ]
Re: Thirty Three [ amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us ]
Re: Need Advice: Strange Stuff [ LilEli <LilEliATnospamaol.com> ]
Re: Thirty Three [ "Susan Carlson" <divine_goddessATnospamhot ]
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 08:59:12 PST
From: "Susan Carlson" <divine_goddessATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, DruoutATnospamaol.com
Subject: Re: AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Center
Message-ID: <19971208165912.10272.qmailATnospamhotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Hi Hillary,
You wrote:
>Hi everyone. I've been waking up, often several times a night, with
blissful/sexual/mystical waves and explosions in brain/body since Sept
96 after getting back into Hatha Yoga exercises. The mystical includes
the idea of going through "lotus door" and entering "Satori" (of which I
remember nothing!)
Wow, arent you fortunate....my awakening was not very dramatic.
> I grew up in an athiest/agnostic household and have never meditated.
Have read Gopi Krishna, Lee Sannella, Krishnamurti (his Notebook
contains wonderful descriptions of K rushes), Maharshi's Talks, et., as
well as the wonderfully helpful Shared Transformation newsletter, trying
to get a handle on this. Have kept daily journal since beginning of
which some is noted in last issue (oct) of ST.
>My husband is bewildered.
Kundalini rising will put you into states of meditation of a spontaneous
nature. And you will share Shakti with your husband. Men have had k
awakenings from making love with k awake females. All men should be so
lucky to have such an initiation.
>I wonder where it's going. Why me?
Why not you?
>P.S. How many of us are out there? Do you think its becoming much
more common?
More than I am sure any of us can know. Angelique says theres over 200
on this list alone.
Barabara Hand Clow writes in her book....The Liquid Light of Sex...that
the 'middle age crazies' are often due to spontaneous k awakening. If
midlife crisis is an indication of k arousal....we are in the midst of a
huge wave of awakening that is ongoing...one that is natural and maybe
an evolutionary imperative. Think of how large the baby boomer
generation is in the US alone.
Welcome to the list.
Blessings,
Susan
______________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 12:10:30 -0500
From: Mike Stickles <msticklesATnospamantalys.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Cc: Meadowart <MeadowartATnospamaol.com>
Subject: RE: Bondage by Karma or Freedom by Christ?
Message-ID: <B982B2DC7C0ED111804600805F850AB2194FCFATnospamEX-DENVER-U1>
Content-Type: text/plain
Meadowart wrote:
> Like many others, I've found that yogis are far more
>accepting of the visionary aspects of the path than
>priests and preachers. What have others experienced?
As a man living simulataneously in three worlds (science
and technology, fundamentalist Christianity, and mystical
experience/Kundalini) which are often in conflict (or, more
correctly, whose adherents are often in conflict), my own
experience is that few in any of the three "worlds" are able
to accept all the aspects of my path. The visionary aspects
are most accepted by those in the mystical world (such as
this list), but those same folks often have trouble accepting
my "absolutism" in theology. Those who accept my doctrine
are often suspicious of my mysticism, and those who agree
with my scientific and intellectual tendencies are usually
aghast at my mystical and religious sides.
I, too, have trouble exploring the mystical side of my spiritual
life in a traditional religious setting (such as the church I'm in
currently - and they're far more accepting than most have
been), but I've also had trouble exploring the intellectual and
"absolutist" sides in a more mystically oriented setting. So
I've had to learn (with inconsistent success) how to pursue
my path whether my environment supports or opposes me
(and it usually manages to do both simultaneously :-).
Keep exploring,
- Mike Stickles
P.S. - By "absolutist" I simply mean a belief in truths which
are absolute; which apply to everyone and are not relative to
the individual, though the proper carrying out of that truth may
vary between individuals.
P.P.S. - I may be slow responding to things this month - my
current computer programming project is behind schedule
and my company is on a 60-hr work week until sometime in
January, so the 100+ message backlog in my Kundalini-L
folder may take a while to get through.
P.P.P.S. - Thanks, Sharon, for the links. I haven't been able
to make time to check them out yet, but I'll get to it -
hopefully before New Year's <sigh>. Right now, family time
is my top priority so list stuff will get slighted until my work
schedule is back to normal.
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 13:29:27 -0500
From: "Harsh K. Luthar" <hlutharATnospamresearch1.bryant.edu>
To: Kurt Keutzer <keutzerATnospamsynopsys.com>
CC: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Enlightenment
Message-ID: <348C3C87.AA7ATnospamacad.bryant.edu>
Kurt Keutzer wrote:
> You seem to be intent on stating that
> kundalini cannot produce nirvikalpa samadhi. I could also interpret your
> statement as simply stating that in your experience of kundalini you have
> not experienced samadhi but in other approaches you have.
Kurt,
Normal awakening of the Kundalini power *does* result in different
kinds of Samadhis. The breaking of three granthis, however, is not
enough to result in Kevala Nirvikalpa Samadhi right away and reveal the
Truth of the Self. Further practice is needed to give up the idea of
enlightenment and liberation and remain wholly indifferent to
Superconscious states and all the manifestatons of the Kundalini Shakti.
It is only then that the Divine Grace manifests itself and the Shakti is
pulled back into its Source and the truth of the Self is Recognized.
Shakti and Self are the same. They are two sides of the same coin. One
may start at either end, the Realization is the same. In my personal
experiences, knowledge of Shakti came first and then the the Clear
Recognition of the Self. That was only because I practiced Meditation
and Pranayama in the context of Kundalini yoga and my focus was on the
Shakti and its manifestations. For someone else it may be different. The
Clear Recognition of Self may come first and manifestations of Shakti
may come afterwards. Therefore, I say that Self-Realization is possible
without first focusing on the arousal of the Kundalini. Direct arousal
of the Shakti need not be an antecedent to Self-Realization. How the
Shakti manifests *after* the Realization is a mute issue.
Harsh
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 11:10:54 -0800
From: Kurt Keutzer <keutzerATnospamsynopsys.com>
To: "Harsh K. Luthar" <hlutharATnospambryant1.bryant.edu>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Enlightenment
Message-Id: <3.0.32.19971208111053.00b48f38ATnospampcpo-1>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 01:29 PM 12/8/97 -0500, Harsh K. Luthar wrote:
>Kurt Keutzer wrote:
>> You seem to be intent on stating that
>> kundalini cannot produce nirvikalpa samadhi. I could also interpret your
>> statement as simply stating that in your experience of kundalini you have
>> not experienced samadhi but in other approaches you have.
>
Harsh replies:
> Normal awakening of the Kundalini power *does* result in different
>kinds of Samadhis. The breaking of three granthis, however, is not
>enough to result in Kevala Nirvikalpa Samadhi right away and reveal the
>Truth of the Self. Further practice is needed to give up the idea of
>enlightenment and liberation and remain wholly indifferent to
>Superconscious states and all the manifestatons of the Kundalini Shakti.
Kurt asks:
What kind of practices do you advocate at this point?
I should also point out to the list at large that Harsh is not alone in his
position. There are those who feel that enlightenment occurs precisely from
the penetration of the three knots (or granthas) and those who do not.
Those who do not believe that kundalini plays any role in enlightenment are
of less interest here. The most interesting group are those who believe
that kundalini plays a role in enlightenment but not an ultimate role.
Among those who hold this position are - Da Free John ( I can't keep up
with his later names), tantric Buddhists and - of course - Harsh. In each
of these positions I believe that it is held that no simple experience
along can cause the ultimate realization.
I understand the Tibetan Buddhist perspective best. In this view the
loosening of the knots results in a very subtle awareness and a very great
bliss. (This is considered analogous to the shamatha or calmness abiding of
the non-tantric Buddhists).
It is still necessary that the practitioner reflect on the inherent
emptiness of the bliss that is created ((This is considered analogous to
the vipashyana or excellent insight of the non-tantric Buddhists). The
result is the experience of the desired non-duality-of-bliss-and-emptiness
and this produces a kind of cognitive revolution.
My viewpoint, which is not really worth a great deal, is that the nature of
the bliss is evident enough that one does not really need to cultivate
other practices. On the other hand each practitioner may experience it
differently. Perhaps, if one has already studied Vedanta or Madhyamaka or
Dzogchen then nature of the experience may be immediately evident due to
prior training - but if one has no such prior practice then perhaps it is
possible that one is literally stuck in bliss without experiencing the
ultimate cognitive realization. I'd be interested in other peoples
perspective on this.
<snip>
Mangalam
kurt
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 14:06:44 -0600 (CST)
From: "Debora A. Orf" <dorf01ATnospammail.win.org>
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: winter
Message-ID: <Pine.GSO.3.96.971208135926.22741A-100000ATnospamwinc0>
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
time
is silver clouded
soft time.
Time to stay inside
by fire
under blanket
with my special
lover.
Or
Pop some popcorn,
find a good
book
and curl up around it.
or sit
quietly,
erect spine
eyes half open
feet in the vajra
position.
and find the sun
shine
in your heart.
i do not know the
end of
the journey we've
began
but i hope we
all get
there
smiling.
--dao.
Date: Tue, 9 Dec 1997 09:40:56 +1300
From: jaxx <jaxxATnospamihug.co.nz>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: soul mates and Karma
Message-Id: <199712082040.JAA04574ATnospamchong.ihug.co.nz>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Dear list,
Thank you for all the replies < both via the list and private>
I think when I wrote my message the information had just really hit and I
was in shock... I feel a lot calmer now...
When it first hit me I had strong stomach pains, weeping spells... signs I
believe than things are moving. I also felt the issue just hanging around
my head... when I realised that I made the conscious effort to move it to my
heart, and cried some more.
My relationship with the man in question has progressed since I first knew
him. I no longer sleep with him, or put up with his mind games. Yet
everytime I feel if he does one more thing wrong then the friendship I have
is over - then he changes just a little bit which really surprises me.
He has taught me a lot like standing up for myself and having a voice,
mostly through standing up to him.
I still feel a thread joining him and me and I so I believe things are not
over yet (and I strongly believe once I have sorted this karma thing out
then he will all of a sudden disappear from my life)
So now with some of the suggestions from you I will be making some time to
sit and ask myself some questions
...jacqueline
ICQ# 4892374
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 16:23:11 -0500
From: Gloria Lee <glorybeATnospamintrepid.net>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: An African Elegy
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19971208162311.006b466cATnospamintrepid.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>>>May I sneak in another poem??
>>>
>>> An African Elegy
>>>
>>>
>>> We are the miracles that God made
>>> To taste the bitter fruits of Time.
>>> We are precious.
>>> And one day our suffering
>>> Will turn into the wonders of the earth...
>>>
>>>
>>> That is why our music is so sweet.
>>> It makes the air remember.
>>> There are secret miracles at work
>>> That only Time will bring forth.
>>> I, too, have heard the dead singing.
>>>
>>>
>>> And they tell me that
>>> This life is good
>>> They tell me to live it gently
>>> With fire, and always with hope.
>>> There is wonder here.
>>>
>>>
>>> And there is surprise
>>> In everything the unseen moves.
>>> The ocean is full of songs.
>>> The sky is not an enemy.
>>> Destiny is our friend.
>>>
>>>
>>> Ben Okri
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 16:50:52, -0500
From: TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: ego or Ego
Message-Id: <199712082150.QAB10600ATnospammime4.prodigy.com>
I just recently spoke with a spiritual channeler and Reiki
Master/Teacher.
I asked her what I needed to work on. Her channeled answer was Ego.
Well, I thought EGO? I know ego as the lower self, nothing to do
with
spiritual self, Higher Self. This has been my teaching, as is in the
Bible.
There is a verse in the Bible which speaks on lower self and Higher
Self.
(if anyone knows which chapter it is in, please let me know)
Normally, again my learning, ego is ones personality, what we came
with
that needed to be worked on, past karma.
The constant chatter box is the ego/mind. Where the quiet voice is
the Higher Self/Heart.
As we spoke I came to understand what she ment, Melanie was saying
that my Higher Ego needed to be worked on, needed to be in the
walking
not only in meditation and quiet time.....which I agreed to! <s>
In other words Walk the Talk........nice kick in the ars...<S>
Please express your thoughts, learnings. understanding....Etc.
concerning
the subject of ego/Ego...
____
God Loves You Forever
Tom
<Prodigy Distribution List>
TO: PFWV91A
TO: KVGQ71A
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 17:01:47, -0500
From: TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Enlightenment
Message-Id: <199712082201.RAA17154ATnospammime4.prodigy.com>
You wrote:
Hi xxxtg
What I have discovered though, is when I let go of all doubts and
fears
and go with my feelings, I am left with crossing my boundary lines
of
what I know it is I truly want. My feelings, I am finding, are not
in
sync with what I want.
=================
Great!!!!!
The boundary you speak of......Who set this boundry?
Who placed these limitations on you?
When you let go, you are beginning to release blockages!
That is wonderful, I am excited for you.....
One other thought......when you listen to your feelings, do so
from the heart....not the mind. When you hear another make a
statement listen to your inner feelings......does what they say
feel true or do you question what they say?
If there is no question then you know that what you have heard
is truth from the heart.....even your own thoughts.
also:
p.s. My understanding of the # 33 - that number represents the
Christ
Consciousness to me.
Thank You, I LIKE THAT!!! <S>
____
God Loves You Forever
Tom
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 17:26:23, -0500
From: TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Sexual Chakra Energy/Kundalini
Message-Id: <199712082226.RAA09074ATnospammime4.prodigy.com>
Okay, I am putting myself up on the dart board...<s>
I have been experiencing a GREAT deal of energy at the
Test/Sexual Chakra. It feels like a tingling feel. All though
it does feel good, it also makes me shift in my seat sometimes
I must stand up or even............ <blushing> ....
My wife and I have gotten off path so sexually speaking...
there has been no sexual spiritual teaching/learning
experiences for a long time. :<
So, what I am asking is:
What is this nice energy type sensation I am feeling?
LOL, but seriously asked! ohhhh that feels, GOOD!
<blushing> again!
____
God Loves You Forever
Tom
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 17:26:39, -0500
From: TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Sexual Chakra Energy/Kundalini
Message-Id: <199712082226.RAA19250ATnospammime4.prodigy.com>
Okay, I am putting myself up on the dart board...<s>
I have been experiencing a GREAT deal of energy at the
Test/Sexual Chakra. It feels like a tingling feel. All though
it does feel good, it also makes me shift in my seat sometimes
I must stand up or even............ <blushing> ....
My wife and I have gotten off path so sexually speaking...
there has been no sexual spiritual teaching/learning
experiences for a long time. :<
So, what I am asking is:
What is this nice energy type sensation I am feeling?
LOL, but seriously asked! ohhhh that feels, GOOD!
<blushing> again!
____
God Loves You Forever
Tom
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 17:47:04, -0500
From: TDVW36AATnospamprodigy.com ( THOMAS SMITH)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Healing Energe to Anchorage
Message-Id: <199712082247.RAB17278ATnospammime4.prodigy.com>
Adrienne wrote:
Hi Tom,
Is there a way that you and all of us send healing enery to the
people
of Anchorage, Alaska? I've noticed several e-mail messages about
earthquakes off the coast of Alaska. Even before the messages came
in,
I was reviewing material about earthquake potential in Alaska.
If you would consent to help, I would appreciate it.
Namaste,
Adrienne
=====================================
Hi Adrienne......<s>
Yes, in fact with the size of this list, together we may send
healing to any person, place or thing we choose to...<s>
A very powerful way is to send healing/prayer as a group
at a chosen time, 12 noon is best. Why, because at midnight,
6am, 12 noon, and 6pm the energy is it's strongest.
So, those that wish to, please send healing/prayer to those
in Anchorage, Alaska and to all in need of healing energy.
At 12 noon, it does not matter what time in are in.
namaste'
____
God Loves You Forever
Tom
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 17:39:03 -0500
From: tgxxxATnospamjuno.com (tg langston)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Enlightenment Traits
Message-ID: <19971208.173907.5166.0.tgxxxATnospamjuno.com>
Hellooo List!
Just happened to pick up a book "Your Erroneous Zones" (oldie but goodie)
by Dr. Wayne Dyer, with an excellent last chapter called "Portrait of a
Person Who Has Eliminated All Erroneous Zones."
This seems to me to be a sparkling example of an enlightened person. It
was rather long, so I posted it to a website - 2 pages long. I think all
of you would find this chapter most enlightening and enjoyable reading.
Here's the website:
http://members.aol.com/Teeegeee/enlight1
(and remember, if you don't agree, I didn't write it.... just typed it)
Love,
xxxtg
http://members.aol.com/Teeegeee/tgsplace.html <~~~~~~ on the web now!
Date: Tue, 09 Dec 1997 09:59:35 +1030
From: Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au>
To: Kurt Keutzer <keutzerATnospamsynopsys.com>
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Enlightenment
Message-ID: <348C82DF.3B7FATnospamcamtech.net.au>
Kurt Keutzer wrote:
>
> There are those who feel that enlightenment occurs precisely from
the penetration of the three knots (or granthas) and those who do not.
Those who do not believe that kundalini plays any role in enlightenment
are
of less interest here. The most interesting group are those who believe
that kundalini plays a role in enlightenment but not an ultimate role.
It is my understanding and experience that enlightenment does not occur
merely from the penetration of the 3 granthis. My belief is that
Kundalini has the potential to complete a purification process of the
physical and subtle bodies, of which the piercing of the knots is part.
When the purification is complete, the energy which is known as the Holy
Spirit can enter in totality and remain in its full manifestation and
enlightenment ensues.
Some people experience the downward movement of the Holy Spirit without
the prior purification of Kundalini. It is my experience that when this
occurs it doesn't usually lead to a permanent residence of the energy,
merely fleeting visitations.
Kundalini doesn't always lead to total purification in one lifetime. It
is necessary for us to totally surrender to her to allow her to fulfil
her destiny. I believe the total purification process only really kicks
in after the Shakti/Shiva union is accomplished. Kundalini may cleanse
and clear on her initial upward rise but it is the focus of Kundalini
with the marriage of consciousness that does the heavy work.
Kurt said:
My viewpoint, which is not really worth a great deal,
Your viewpoint Kurt has equal validity with every other viewpoint on
this list (and elsewhere for that matter). It is part of what is making
you reach out and achieve your highest potential. It doesn't matter
whether it is synonymous with any other viewpoint. It is the sum of
your current thinking, searching and realising. Don't invalidate it.
Love, sue
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 19:08:44 -0600
From: amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us
To: kundalini-lATnospamEXECPC.COM
Subject: Re: Be here NOW
Message-Id: <v01550100b0b2495a9e8cATnospam[126.0.0.105]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Ruth wrote:
>I have news.. GRACE IS BACK!
M wrote:
>I love it when the Truth is also a crack up!!
This morning as I was typing a reply to Jaxx I kept thinking "BE HERE NOW,"
boy are we on the same wavelength or what?!
P.S. Ever read the book by Baba Ram Dass "Be Here Now?"
It's a wonderful day!
amckeon
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 19:44:45 -0600
From: amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Thirty Three
Message-Id: <v01550101b0b251608146ATnospam[126.0.0.105]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Whoa! First "Be Here Now" and then this thing with 33! (See my post to Jaxx
about what happened to me at 33).
getting a bit behind in my email again...
amckeon
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 1997 20:08:39 EST
From: LilEli <LilEliATnospamaol.com>
To: TGarlandATnospamVIPMail.com (Teresa)
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Need Advice: Strange Stuff
Message-ID: <c0458704.348c9e4dATnospamaol.com>
In a message dated 97-12-08 09:22:30 EST, Teresa writes:
<< >I need some advice. I've been having strange dreams, and strange
>images during meditation. They go to the dark side, which I have worked
>with (successfully) in the past, but this is beyond my experience.
> <SNIP>
>About me: I am experiencing lots of K activity including extremely
>energetic kriyas, and mostly doing okay with it. I am working from the
>heart (although my navel opened up some time ago). My chakras take
>turns opening and closing, but my heart is currently the most open. >>
To which Gloria LEE (not Greco) responds:
<< The most important issue about death dreams is actually that they
MOST often signal rebirth and new life is coming to you. <SNIP>
Obviously you are already
re-evaluating your issues with the male/female dynamic and hence the
appearance of *male hands and a jumbled face* may indicate a need to sort
this out. Every female has a male kind of identity in shadow side..and the
type of man you *see* or seek often represents what is really YOU.
Most often the dream is a kind of message to say to you,"hey, look
at this issue now". Ask who or what is *dying* now..if you dive
into the feelings of fear and what seems dark...you often find a valuable
gift..a piece of yourself you may have cast aside previously is wanting to
come into the light.>>
Lisa here....just had some thoughts you might find interesting...
Back a year or so (when I was closer to 33 !) during a time when I was
really struggling with my KA, I had a very similar dream. In mine there
was a man and a woman deuling (so to speak) on a ship of some sort
in the ocean. She was a very seductive character, pleased with her
powers over her opponent. The male was skyclad (hehehe) and was
fighting her with all the strength he could muster. All along his back
were knife wounds that she had inflicted. While he was wounded he
continued time after time to get up after a wound and still pursue her.
She ofcourse, seemed to really take great pleasure in this battle. To
make a rather enlightening and long dream story short....he jumped
overboard (though I believe he survived), and she remains free to this
day.
Upon awakening from this dream I had this feeling of having been both
him and her in that dream. Though I had NO idea what that meant. I
just know that at certain times during the dream I felt as her, and then
I felt as him. Luckily for me, shortly thereafter I enrolled in a dream
interpretation class and worked on finding the meaning of this dream
for myself. The basic meaning of the dream for me was very similar to
that which Gloria Lee suggests above. At the time leading up to the
dream I had been pretty much a left brain sorta person. But the K was
leading me toward new avenues opening me to the universe, my heart,
and my intuition. And obviously, the "old" me wasn't too happy about
it and set about to destroy the other. So in reality, there was a battle
going on in my mind, beautifully orchestrated through the characters
in my dream. And I definitely agree, that we all have both male and
female aspects to our personality that don't always see things the
same way !!!
As for your hands looking older and male to you... I sometimes have
this happen to me in a normal waking state. For awhile I figured it was
just more K stuff, actually started to think I was losing my grip on
reality till one day my son pointed out the same thing. "Mommy, why
are your hands so old?" No amount of hand cream seemed to help.
Though today that is not the case, my hands have returned to their
rightful age. I read in one of my K books somewhere that those with
K can find their hair turn grey over night, or can look old one minute
and youthful the next. For me, it is my hands.
Hope this helps....and thanks for sharing !
In love...
Lisa
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 17:56:11 PST
From: "Susan Carlson" <divine_goddessATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Thirty Three
Message-ID: <19971209015612.340.qmailATnospamhotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Dear Friends,
I am 40 now....and 33 seems like a thousand and one lifetimes ago. When
i was 33 all my struggles with fundamental christianity was coming to a
head in me. That year was definately one long dark night of the soul.
To make a long story extremely short...the major conflict I had was with
the concept of hell according to the literal translation of the Bible.
I remember praying over and over to God to show me what was so about
this...and if the Truth of it made me insane, as I felt it was about to
push me over the edge into insanity, then so be it. I did and have never
expected Truth of what is So to make my life more convienent. How can
truth be Truth if its a convenience? I felt it was up to me to make the
adjustment when coming head to head with Universal Laws and not vice
versa.
As I sat in my prayers, tears streaming down my face, in extreme agony
of spirit, i was suddenly overwhelmed with Peace and the knowingness
that there is no hell to go to, it was an impossiblity, an incongruence
of the Divine. This Peace and Joy and Knowingness settled into the very
marrow of my bones. Maybe I could now call this a descension of the
Holy Spirit into my being.
About another month or so later...having another agonizing period of
prayer...there came another descension...and a 'hearing' of a voice
telling me 'this is what love feels like'...and this blissful purity of
energy...i dont really know how to describe it, washed over me.
Paradoxically, I could not relax totally into it for this intense
purity made me feel unclean and I could not totally accept it because I
could not accept myself. I had to ask it to stop for the intensity of
the energy was so painful to my little self. If I only knew then what I
know now. If I had only had the teachers then that I had later. It
literally felt like I was going to die. And now I know, my ego was
probably dying, and I so associated myself with my ego I thought *I* was
the one dying.
Within a year of those experiences...when I was 34...I received
Shaktipat. But my true spiritual awakening began when I was 33.
Could it have been the Holy Spirit preparing the ground so I could
receive Shaktipat? Maybe...
What I know now is I can stand in those same energies that I 'felt'
[not an adequate word] when I was 33, in total relaxation and a unity of
communion with something larger, more infinite within myself.
Funny, there is no physical sensations around those energies. I dont
even know if stillness is the right word. A gentle subtle breeze is the
best way I can describe it now. And this gentle subtle breeze I
experience is contagious to the people I come in contact with.
And that is another story.
Love,
Susan
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