1997/08/21 17:37
kundalini-l-d Digest V97 #407
kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 97 : Issue 407
Today's Topics:
Re: Subtle sound
RE: Subtle sound
heart surgery
Drugs, sex and kundalini
Re: Enlightment
Enlightened? (fwd)
Try This (From SpiritWeg.Org)
Re: ionizer question
Re: Drugs, sex and kundalini
Re:allergies
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 03:30:07
From: Mike Beaver <yodaATnospamband1.bandwidth.net> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Subtle sound
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821033007.4a277056ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Dear Morgana,Anita, and All:
Here's my take on the subtle sound. Put both thumbs in the ears. Don't
press down too hard; just enough to where you hear an inner sound which
is not coming from outside. I think most people hear a sound like mine;
that not unlike a sea shell or the cloud formation in "Close
Encounters...". Others hear the sound of running water, bells, ets. The
Eckists (Eckankar) associate each of the higher planes with a different
sound.
If you ask many people, each will say they hear something different.
That is because they are attuned to a different level within (a
different plane). The higher worlds are the inner worlds as they say.
More to the point; one day I was sitting on my couch and I began
hearing the "Music of the Spheres" as it is called. I think it was D.
Scott Rojo who wrote a book by this name about this sound which people
sometimes hear when going OBE or dyeing. The book doesn't give many
answers so I will give some here.
To put it bluntly, you are not hearing the universe, or your resonance
with it at all. You're hearing yourself. At your center there is an
energy pole which extends down and up into infinity. It is very
powerful, a little bit larger than a silver dollar; and is mentioned
briefly as that which the chakras flow into in Barbara Brennan's book,
"Hands of Light".
It vibrates VERY strongly, so much so, that when it comes on, you can
then actually hear not only the sound emanating from your center, but
your ears vibrating themselves. It took me a minute or two to realize
that the sound I was hearing was coming from my own center. Read some of
the Eck books and you will get more info. Get one of their charts and
you will find the plane which your center is resonating at (not unlike a
radio), by finding out which sound you hear when you put your thumbs in.
Sincerely;
Mike Beaver
yodaATnospamband1.bandwidth.net
Morgana Wyze wrote:
>
> Anita Phillips wrote:
> >
> > Hi Morgana,
> >
> > I think I missed the explanation of the subtle sound. I hear a very high
> > pitched "E" constantly and have for several years. I know the medical
> > community has a name for this, but I am now wondering if it really has
> > something to do with K?
> >
> > What is the subtle sound? Or where can I read about it??
> >
> > Thanks!
> >
> > Anita P., *:)
> >
>
> The "subtle sound" is not an audible sound wave, but a harmonic. When
> our body harmonic reaches the resonance of pure quartz crystal. It is
> the secret of the great mystery schools, that the number of the universe
> made manifest is nine.
> Matter=Energy. To convert matter to energy resonate the matter.
> Matter resonates when a magnetic field (earth or our aura) has a field
> of energy (life force) applied at the resonance of quartz . The result
> is three octaves with three harmonious notes in each octave for a total
> of nine resonant frequencies.
> I draw this information from mystery school teachings and from
> tetrahedral geometry (when you don't need much sleep there's lots of
> time to do esoteric research.)
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal
of the mind, that you
may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable.---
Romans 12 2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Checkout Mike Beaver's Hypnotherapy Home Page at
http://www.bandwidth.net/yoda
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 13:42:59
From: Terry Romine <tromineATnospamapple.com> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: RE: Subtle sound
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821134259.2b4f4be8ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>James Wright wrote:
>
>>I hear a tone as well - this is the first discussion I've ever read of
>>it. I generally thought of it as tinnitus - the "ringing in the ears"
>>that the medical profession considers a hearing impairment. I have lost
>>some hearing ability of the upper frequencies, especially so in my right
>>ear, and thought this was just a byproduct - but now I'm beginning to
>>wonder.
>
>Yeah, I was told that it was tinnitus, too. But, I've had my ears checked
>thoroughly by specialists (twice!) and my hearing is excellent in both
>ears!
>Nevertheless...it rings!
>
>
I've had ringing in the ears, and when I started getting into things
Spiritual, I was told it was my Spirit Guides trying to talk to me
{grin}. Then when I started working closely with Guides and Angels, the
ringing went away.
Now it is back and quite active. I don't know the frequency of the
sound.. seems in the higher range, but not real high. I think maybe mid
to high E.
I've been listening to the talk about ears-ringing and wonder how this
all applys.
EaTrom
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 13:42:02
From: Maceo <maceoATnospampi.net> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: heart surgery
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821134202.2acfa8eeATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
I have been watching the list for a few weeks now and this is my first
posting. I find a lot of articles very interesting. I can't wait to check my
mailbox everyday.
I am practising Yoga for 24 years now (I started at my 14 th), last year I
did Reiki 1. "K" means everything to me, I cannot recall the moment I first
became aware of Kundalini probably because I was rather young and it woke up
very naturaly and mild. I regard it as a close friend with lots of respect,
not as a toy to play with. "K" has been very good to me and is growing
everyday
I need some advice on the following. My wife has to have major heart-surgery
within a few months. We have a lot of confidence in this event, but also a
lot of questions. What kind of effect does that have on her chakras and
energy flows, what can we expect? How can I help her? Is there anyone who
has some experience with this?
Love to hear from you
Greetings from "Heatwave Holland"
Maceo
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 13:24:54
From: Bliss <readyATnospamdircon.co.uk> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Drugs, sex and kundalini
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821132454.2acfaa66ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Thankyou for your replies regarding my questions about drugs, sex and
kundalini, particularly Nancy Kar who seems to know exactly what I'm
talking about. Can I ask you Nancy, if you have ever used drugs yourself
in connection with your own kundalini experiences?
It's interesting for me to learn whether or not my experiences are
really the same as those of others who have never used drugs to 'get
there'.
I am still aiming to pursue this without the use of drugs, but of course
it's all too easy to do it 'the quick way'. I'm afraid I am one of the
'MTV generation' in many respects...
I have such a short attention span...
Please don't misunderstand me however, for I have the greatest respect
for spirituality, and I hate the idea that I could be killing my own by
occasionally taking drugs... but then there is the line to be drawn
between 'man-made' and 'natural' drugs of course. Generations of Indians
can't be wrong...
Nancy wrote:
> Also I wanted to mention Tantra, which I've had some training in and
> since you already are experiencing some aspects of it. It might be a
> good thing for you to look into and maybe get some more information to
> develope this side of yourself. You can even bring up this sexual energy
> and channel it through your hands for a very powerful healing energy.
> It really feels like a power house.
I am very interested in training in Tantra, but I'm instantly put off by
images of dodgy trippy couples all having sex in much the same way as
one would execute an aerobics lesson.... does anyone have any
suggestions for private tuition/distance learning..?!
I have read the usual books... Margo Anand, Tantra and the Tao etc etc.
I did yoga last year, but felt it wasn't the right 'type'... it was
Hatha Yoga... is there a type of yoga which is more *in line* with
kundalini?
I hope nobody minds me talking about sex so openly here, after all of
the to-ing and fro-ing over ks-lists etc...
I thought us English girls were meant to be prudish, but I guess not..!
)
Love,
Bliss x
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 13:20:01
From: Mike Beaver <yodaATnospamband1.bandwidth.net> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Enlightment
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821132001.2acfab98ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Dear S.R.Peswani:
I firmly believe you can get just as much benefit without sitting for
meditation. I'm trying to sit for meditation more and more each day
myself. On the other hand I read a while back about one of the two
famous hospice/death ladies (can't remember which one) who talked about
her awesome enlightenment experience that lasted for days. I don't
believe she sat for meditation much; if at all. She sat, instead, to
listen to people tell their stories as they were passing on. The focus
she used on the listening to her story WAS her meditation. Whether it is
formal or not is unimportant. The importance is how much of your focus
and attention you put into it in every single moment, regardless. The
last step in formal meditation, as I'm sure you already know, is to push
that mind state out into the rest of your, non-formal day.
Sincerely;
Mike Beaver
yodaATnospamband1.bandwidth.net
>
> > Morgana
> > Sometimes energy sticks, but then I find that I have a matching
> > picture, almost always pre-verbal in myself which would not respond to
> > ordinary cleansing because it is pre-verbal. By cleansing the matching
> > energy I am able to clear subtle energies which I would not otherwise be
> > able to see.
> > With time I have found that this is another cycle of our growth... a
> > cycle which is showing us how to be of the world but not of it.
> >
> >
> In my case clearing is not able to cope with what I have been
> receiving both in my sleep and from my surroundings.
> roughly I would state my condition as follows...
>
> Before June 92.....00.0
> June 94.....100.0
> June 95..... 95.0
> June 96..... 90.0
> June 97......85.0
> Though I am much better off compared to June 92 , but I am
> sliding down.
> Probably reasons are as follows.
> 1) I sit much less for meditation
> 2) Surroundings are increasing in tensions due to poverty and
> increased crime around me.
> 3) I live in joint family and my neighbourhood is very conjested.
> 4) Higher ones want me to do more housework of clearing by
meditation
>
> ram
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal
of the mind, that you
may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable.---
Romans 12 2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Checkout Mike Beaver's Hypnotherapy Home Page at
http://www.bandwidth.net/yoda
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 11:39:39 -1000
From: Ruth Trimble <trimbleATnospamhawaii.edu>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Enlightened? (fwd)
Message-ID: <Pine.GSO.3.95q.970821113905.20129A-100000ATnospamuhunix4>
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
Maybe I missed this when it appeared.. having missed 404, 405.. but just
in case... I am reposting.
Namaste' Ram:
Your letter was very beautiful in that is echoes so much of what we
"think" enlightenment is all about. We "think" is the key.. because we
are always THAT state which we seek. So you are not "more" or "less"
enlightened... you always are enlightened. All that remains is to remove
the mind and there is THAT. So your ego was jumping into the situation and
taking on pride for having "accomplished" so much work.
What seems to have occured is a false sense of enlightenment.. as had it
been true.. you would see all the karma which you are taking on now as
nothing and insignificant.. for you would be focused on the state of Unity
all the time... I think also that you feel that enlightened beings do not
have karma of their devotees and family.. but in my opinion they take on
far more karma after enlightenment.. because they CAN do it. I know that
I am taking on my family karma..and earth karma now..! I am sure that I
would not have this burden if I had not reached a certain state of
awareness of the Unity in all things.. and as a 5th Dimensional Master..
understood the situation without any reaction to it.
But if you read Ramana Maharshi...if you are "efforting" your realization
... then you are off track. For there is no "effort" that can get you to
the state which you ARE..permanently, all the time... naturally.
However, as Ramana would say.. before you get to the mountain there is a
journey to be taken that requires effort.. you must get the train, the
bus, the taxi and walk as necessary to reach the mountain where your real
journey begins.. but this state is effortless. For all tht is required is
to BE...to rest in the SELF.
I loved your sharing this. I think the Eastern gurus give many seekers the
impression that there is a goal.. and I know that the male mind requires
this or it will not have interest in seeking... but ultimately there is no
goal which you have not already experienced and attained every single
moment as a point of consciousness from the ocean of consciousness.
Blessings, Ruth
******
The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed. The soul
unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals. [Kahlil Gibran]
*****
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 13:54:41
From: Terry Romine <tromineATnospamapple.com> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Try This (From SpiritWeg.Org)
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821135441.2b5755ecATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Awakening The Christ Chakra - stimulating the Unified Heart
channeled by John Payne
Greetings! This is Omni. The Heart is the bridge between mind and body in
your three dimensional world. With the Heart, you are able to translate
Universal knowledge with love, and thereby use compassion and empathy
when viewing your world and the things in it. Love is the cornerstone of
the Universe, and without the vibration of love, all creation would soon
cease to exist. Love is the thing through which consciousness grows, it
is the power that draws you like a magnet back into the Heart of God,
love is your birthright and your purpose for existing.
Many aeons ago, an experiment began. This experiment was started so that
it could be proven that love can be created through the use of free will.
The Earth, your planet, is part of this experiment. I often refer to your
planet as the Planet of Love. Many think more readily of Venus as the
Planet of Love, but yours is in the true sense the Planet of Love,
because this is the lesson you came to learn. Your Earth is one of the
most precious jewels in the cosmos, bright and radiant blue, brimming
over with life, full of variation and excitement. It is the greatest gift
that the Divine has given to you. This entire world of yours was created
out of love for you. Created as a school, the school of love. Created to
give you the opportunity to learn love.
There is no judgement, no real rush. You have choices. Two of the choices
you have are these: Now or later. You have within your heart, the Flames
of Divine Desire. These Flames are imbued with the Divine qualities of
Love, Health, Abundance and Creativity. They act as magnets, drawing you
into these Divine qualities of consciousness. They are your birthright
and natural state of being. You can choose to accelerate the development
of these qualities by concentrating on them and by resolving those issues
in your life that seem to keep you from experiencing these qualities more
fully in your life.
Mankind is developing a new form of Heart Chakra, it is the Christ
Chakra. Some have called this the Soul Seat or Thymus Chakra. I call it
the Christ Chakra, or Unified Heart. Your Heart Chakra is being evolved
and is changing along with the increased inflow of higher, finer energies
of higher consciousness from the realms of light. As you begin to
integrate various aspects of your personality and past life selves, you
are becoming more aware of yourself as your Soul upon the Earth Plane.
Previously, to reach your soul centre, to be aware of the nature of your
soul, you had to be trained in meditation, to be almost remote from the
reality in which you are presently focussed. This is no longer true. Just
as it is becoming increasingly easier for you to channel your Spirit
guides, it is also becoming easier to live as your soul, to be aware of
your soul whilst being fully conscious of your reality. So, the real
change is a change in consciousness, but like all changes in
consciousness in your reality, it has an outward expression in your
worlds of matter and spirit.
As an expression of this soul awareness, the Heart Chakra and Soul Seat
are becoming unified, they are becoming one, it is the Christ Chakra, or
Unified Heart. At first it will look a little like a binary star, two
points of light, separate, but touching, merging and working together.
You heart is taking on higher vibrations and will therefore influence the
colours you may experience when viewing it with clairvoyant sight. The
increased vibration of the heart will make the Flames of Divine Desire
more visible. You may experience Pink, Green, Gold and Turquoise.
The power centre of this evolving centre is behind the breast bone, just
above the current heart chakra. It is a point of light in the centre of
the body that radiates with a bright fluorescent white and turquoise
light. You can stimulate this centre by bringing your thumb, index and
middle fingers to a point and by resting them on your breast bone. Once
you have done this, you can tap very gently on this spot, and begin to
sing OM. Once you feel an opening, you can stop the tapping and just
allow your fingers to remain where they are and continue to sing. Ask
your soul to assist you in making a unique sound that is the note of your
soul. Each soul has a unique note, and when you are able to express the
essence of your soul in this way, you will begin to bring more of the
light of your soul into your reality. Don't worry if your voice is
untrained, or whether or not you are singing it right, you will know by
the feeling you have. You may begin to feel a sense of elation, or maybe
tears as you open up to a forgotten part of yourself. Do this exercise
often, as often as you like, maybe every morning.
If ever you find yourself in a situation where you do not know which path
to follow, are stuck with a decision, trapped in fear, or you become
aware that your heart has closed in a situation, do this exercise and
call upon the light and power of your soul. You will begin to experience
the nature of un conditional love and will enhance the soul qualities of
love, health, abundance and creativity in your life.
In essence, the Christ Chakra is not new, you are merely awakening it
from a long slumber! My blessings dear ones. Call upon my energy to
assist you or to give you extra energy in times of need.
Namaste.
Omni.
John Payne (omni-johnATnospambox.nl)
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 14:42:33
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: ionizer question
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821144233.2b57630eATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 11:01 21/08/97 -0700, M. wrote:
>
>
>Does anyone know if ionizers affect kundalini.
Hiya:
Ionizers are wonderful, and they do not negatively effect K.
A big natural ionizer is the ocean.. that is why it has such effect on
mood.
An ionizer puts out negative ions, and as opposites attract, this makes
the body ionize positive. So you feel good, electric tingly nice.
Vancouver is rather famous for it's hydroponic pot, and I have been in
Growhouses that used ionizers, and they do the most amazing job clearing
the intense wonderful fragrant but suspicous scent of fully grown pot plants.
The effect is kind of similar to the magnetic attraction around a dust
mote in a cloud that collects water vapor into a drop of rain. The mould
spores fall out of the air. So you don't breathe them anymore.
On the other side of it, tho.. is the spiritual.
Outside reflects inside.. what things have you been sticking away
avoiding in mental closets till the smell begins to irritate?
I am also allergic to mildew and mould.. I am discovering that allergies
are often unconscious bodily associations with old pain.
I went into my body just now to get more information.. at first I was
getting slight associations with death and coffins.. resistance to the
cycle of life..
Going deeper into the body, ...
Whoa!! shock and chaos, internal ecosystems being rampantly destroyed by
the invader: inappropriately prescribed antibiotics in childhood. Wow! It
feels like our emotional reaction to the destruction of the rain forest.
Delicate bacterial systems being wiped out wholesale, causing rampant
imbalances in every system, in a small body already weakened by illness.
State of emergency as the body tries to cope..
Mom's quack prescribed antibiotics for everything, as my permanently
slightly yellowed teeth attest.. caused by tetracycline administered too
young.
Give love and gratitude to your body for trying to protect you from
memories of pain: it doesn't know the difference from memory and reality.
Well, that's what I get.. hope it's useful.
Blessings, Serpent.
>
Mystress Angelique Serpent,
Dominant Experiential Facilitator.
Website= http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent
:D ;) :0 :) ;P :0 ;) :D :0 :) ;P :0 ;) :)
Swami Beyondananda on the Golden Rule: "It seems that when
masochists do unto others as they wish to be done unto, they
become sadists," the Swami said. "Consequently, the Golden Rule
has been recalled by the Maker until this design flaw can be fixed."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Officially the most beautiful city in the world.
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 16:32:46
From: Nancy Kar <watrfallATnospamniagara.com> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Drugs, sex and kundalini
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19970821163246.4a37a610ATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Bliss wrote:
> Can I ask you Nancy, if you have ever used drugs yourself
> in connection with your own kundalini experiences?
When I was a teenager about 17 I got into meditating and took some
courses that were supposed to develope my 'psychic' ability:) At that
time also I did partake in smoking pot but it was just for recreational
use. I didn't really know enough about my spirituality, at that time. I
was depressed and that's also when I had my 'walkout' experience during
a meditation.
So if it had an influence... I'm not sure..
> It's interesting for me to learn whether or not my experiences are
> really the same as those of others who have never used drugs to 'get
> there'.
My thinking is that we all have a plan for our lives, one that we made
before we were born, to learn the things that we need to, in this life.
Those who are meant to follow a spiritual path but haven't realized it
yet will have things happen to them, supernatural things, miracles...
experiences that are not explainable. To me when you talk of these
things happening to you, I feel it is a calling card from spirit, to
say, 'follow me... here is your path, would you like to follow it now?'
Even though we have set these lives out before ourselves, we still have
choice... but spirit will keep on knocking on your door:)
So drugs or no drugs, it just is... it's real and there for you to
explore..
> I am still aiming to pursue this without the use of drugs, but of course
> it's all too easy to do it 'the quick way'. I'm afraid I am one of the
> 'MTV generation' in many respects...
> I have such a short attention span...
hmmm... it's like we all have tools for tuning into and doing readings
for people, tarot cards, crystal balls, I Ching, sticks, mirrors, mine
is reading auras... etc. They are all tools, we can do the readings
without them but they are a sort of crutch that with learning could be
overcome. The talent, abilities are inside us.... not in the card or
object...
That's how I see your drug use... it's a tool to get beyond. But the
difference is that with all of the time we spend trying to clear our
bodies from toxins, clearing energy blocks etc. The drug use may clog up
some energies and fog your experiences eventually if you cannot overcome
it.
> Please don't misunderstand me however, for I have the greatest respect
> for spirituality, and I hate the idea that I could be killing my own by
> occasionally taking drugs... but then there is the line to be drawn
> between 'man-made' and 'natural' drugs of course. Generations of Indians
> can't be wrong...
Maybe you could do some research on it. There is alot of info on the
web.
I would be interested in knowing, also. What experienced Shamans, who
may use natural
'drugs' would say about it.
> I am very interested in training in Tantra, but I'm instantly put off by
> images of dodgy trippy couples all having sex in much the same way as
> one would execute an aerobics lesson.... does anyone have any
> suggestions for private tuition/distance learning..?!
My training has been in Tibetan Tantra but it has been toned down a bit
for us westerners:) I think that if you look around and ask lots of
questions, you should be able to find someone to teach you *and* respect
your boundries.
>
>
> I hope nobody minds me talking about sex so openly here, after all of
> the to-ing and fro-ing over ks-lists etc...
> I thought us English girls were meant to be prudish, but I guess not..!
I can't seperate parts of myself, sexual energy being a big part of me.
So even when I do healing sexual energy is greatly involved and it has
wonderous results.
But then again my mother was born on Guernesy Is. so that kind of makes
me an English girl too! hahaha:)
Nancy
WaterFall in spirit
> )
>
> Love,
>
> Bliss x
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 16:55:29 -0700
From: Ken McFarland <kenmATnospamOREGON.UOREGON.EDU>
To: Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re:allergies
Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19970821235529.006ca368ATnospamoregon.uoregon.edu>
Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 02:42 PM 8/21/97 +0000, Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote:
> I am discovering that allergies
>are often unconscious bodily associations with old pain.
The primary offenders are shame and fear of shame.
Shame is heaped on throughout childhood.
It is a difficult subject because we experience shame about our shame.
It is ubiquitous.
These are quotes from clients about messages from their parents:
You haven't got a brain in your head!
You are so worthless I am going to put you into an orphanage!
You stupid little bastard!
"Knuckle head!"
There you go thinking again!
What in the hell were you thinking?!
You can't do anything right, can you?!
Elephant!
Tub o'lard!
You couldn't carry a tune in a bucket!
If I quit drinking, I'll do less with the family!
God I wish you mother had stayed on the pill!
You were just a leaky condom anyway!
Don't make me hit you!
Don't make me hit your mother!
We found you on the street and we felt sorry for you. I wish we would have
left you there!
Why don't you go play in the street for a while!
Look what you made me do!
We have no money because of your damn Christmas!
Oh, sorry we forgot your birthday.
Here's a quarter - call someone who cares!
Why can't you be more like your sister!
If you're not bleeding, you're not hurt!
2nd place doesn't count.
If you don't win, you didn't try hard enough!
I don't have any time for you!
I don't want to see you in a stupid school play!
What the hell are you cry'n about? Do you ever stop?
Sometimes I wonder why I even talk to you!
Don't you ever shut up?
You'll never be one of us!
I won't love/like you anymore if you do that.
You're just not college material! Why don't you just flip burgers?
You'd look a lot better with a bag on your head!
I don't think you should try it. You know you'll never be able to do it!
These shame producing scenes are internalized and replayed at the rate of
approximately 7 times per second, over and over again, for years; untold
thousands of times. When this is going on your stress response system is
activated in a way that begins having a detrimental effect on the immune
system. Everything begins to look like the enemy to the immune system and
the next thing your know there are allergies and much more.
"If distress is the emotion of suffering, shame is the emotion of indignity,
of defeat, of transgression and of alienation. Though terror speaks to life
and death, and distress makes of the world a vale of tears, yet shame
strikes deepest into the heart of man. While terror and distress hurt, they
are wounds inflicted from outside which penetrate the smooth surface of the
ego; but shame is felt as an inner torment, a sickness of the soul. It does
not matter whether the humiliated one has been shamed by derisive laughter
or whether he mocks himself. In either event he feels himself naked,
defeated, alienated, lacking in dignity or worth."
Sylvan Tomkins. 1963.
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