Memorial Tribute to El Collie.
all that ever was or will be.
always and forever
nameless, formless, selfless.
source and substance,
the magic All, the quintessential Who,
the What It Is
behind the many guises
of this, that and the other.
I always AM
nothing and no one
but the light of consciousness pouring through
prismatic dreamspace and illusion-time
into a trillion variations on a single theme:
by El Collie 1984
This section of the Kundalini gateway is dedicated in tribute to the memory of El Collie, Matriarch of this K-list extended community. El passed away on Apr 17, 2002. She is remembered by her husband Charles, her family and all those whose lives she touched with her wisdom and generous compassion.
El and I never met in person but her influence on my life's work was profound and news of her death was a shock and a very great loss. While putting together these pages, I keep wanting to write to her and comment on something she wrote... then remembering I cannot. Missing her, with the kind of misty tears so wrote of, so often. If someone like me, who only knew her through email can love and grieve her so much, then I cannot imagine the suffering her loved ones are going through. Goddess have mercy on her devoted husband Charles. They were together for 15 years.
El Collie was a great spirit, wise, generous and compassionate. She gave much of the last decade of her life promoting awareness of the Kundalini process and helping other awakened people in difficulty, even tho her own life and process was marked with chronic pain and illness. Yet, she rarely mentioned her difficulties, and her sharing on this list was often very humorous as well as insightful. She continued to reach out and help others, to share her wisdom that it might benefit any who might be in need.
This cyberspace community that so many have gained so much from, would not exist but for El. The impetus and support for the creation of the K-list came from El, it was inspired by her "Friends online" site which was the first website to offer a place of community and comfort for awakened people.
El Collie describes the K-list's origin:
In July, 1995, Haakon Rian Ueland began a sporadic digest-form Kundalini mailing list (the first one on the Internet to my knowledge). A few months later, Bill Peay put together the Kundalini Resource Center to provide a broader information base on the Internet. At that time, Bill introduced himself as KRC's webmaster and named Haakon as its host. In November '95, El Collie and C. Kress (who had been publishing the Kundalini-support newsletter Shared Transformation since 1993) created their website of the same name. In May '96, Richard Satin, one of the original Shared Transformation "Friends Online," volunteered to begin another Kundalini mail list (Haakon's was defunct by then). I sent Richard 50 email addresses of everyone who had by that time contacted Shared Transformation regarding Kundalini. Richard notified them all about the new K-list. About 30 of them responded, including Bill Peay, who gave the early list its home page on KRC, where it rapidly built up membership.
All of us have found comfort from her work: the signs and symptoms page, her writing, poetry and her own ground breaking print magazine and website, Shared Transformation. It is my hope that these pages will help to keep her wisdom alive. She so loved to help people. I seek to honor her memory by making certain that her work will remain available continue to help awakened seekers who come looking for her wisdom, as they always have.
I am greatly in her debt, and I am very glad I told her so, in July 2000, when she retired from active participation in this list, citing health problems and a need to invest energy elsewhere, and think about something besides the process. After so many years of caring and activism, she certainly earned the rest.
At that time, I wrote:
Those words are even truer today. Her brilliance, and our sadness to hear she has truly, "departed the field" doubtless for greener pastures that she truly deserves.
"You are one of the true Pioneers of the Western Kundalini phenomena.
Few people know that about you. Now, it seems that gradually you are
retiring from that activism, and truly you have earned it. Your influence
on this entire social subgroup of awakened folks has been tremendous, and
you have always been an inspiration to me. From back when I first came
online, and came across the "Signs and Symptoms list".. it changed my
perspective of my entire life.
It makes me think of the early feminists, and the brilliant blazing
torch they passed on the succeeding generations. My career as a Kundalini
activist has just begun, by comparison, and it would not Be, if not for
your efforts in creating the legacy which I, among so many, are heirs to.
It saddens me tho, to see you departing the field. Those of us who are
just starting out, still need you. We need your wisdom and insights. Your
Last time I wrote to her, she said she was mentoring new writers. Yet, I noticed when her name reappeared in the member list, although I did not mention it to anyone. She chose to be in seclusion and I respected that, and did not disturb it ... but it gave me great joy to know we were again blessed by her presence... and I am sure in her own way, she will continue to move among us, sharing her love..
Thank you, El Collie, ... you gave us all so much.
... and as we say on the list when a member departs...:
Happy Trails to you
Until we meet again...
Happy Trails to you...
Kundalini Gateway Memorial Tribute to El Collie.
Members Remember El.
El Collie in her own words
More selected posts..
Her Beloved Charles.
Her thoughts about the K-list.
Archive of all her posts.
Signs and Symptoms of Awakening.
Kundalini Mailing List Archives.
Kundalini Gateway Index.