Questions

Responses

2. What brought you to the K list

A dream. I was having pronounced K symptoms, but I didn't know what it was. I woke one morning remembering a dream in which the word "Kundalini" was shown to me. I did a web search and the first page I found was "Kundalini Signs and Symptoms." I read them, thought "uhoh" and went back to my web search. The second page I found was the K list.

My kundalini

Ran across in on the internet, and was told about it by another member

Fear of kundalini brought me to the k list.

web search - didn't know exactly what I was looking for, expect people to talk with about the deeper things in life. Don't know how I ended up on the kundalini topic.

i just restarted Reiki after being initiated a couple of years ago. I was searching for some reiki related info and found the K-list

Mystress' site. Although I nearly came to the list in 2001, but decided not to because I was way too afraid of K.

Need for information, confirmation and so forth. Found it through internet search

I googled kundalini

I was interested in shamanism and Kundalini. Then after a oestopathic massage, got constantly crying upon saying the word shaman. After a few days, I looked on Google with keywords so arrived at http://kundalini-teacher.com, read some info on shamanism initiation, discovered the K-symptoms and was re-directed to kundalini-gateway.org then the k-list

Mystress

Funny things started to happen during meditation (classical symptoms). Within a week or two (I think) the symptoms was there also when not meditating. In the beginning I didnt quite understand what was going on, so I did lots of digging around the net. I ended up with this "kundalini-phenomena", and stumbled across kundalini-gateway.org and decided to explain/ask about the situation.

Searching info. and guidance in internet.

I've always been a "seeker". I had an awakening in 1993, but have since "closed down" again and would very much like to reawaken, so I went looking once again for info. What I would have done to have had a site/list such as this back then...

Through Mystress's site

Searching the net around. And it was complicated because when I found the kundalini gateway I thought the list was closed. Only when I went back after some weeks I realized there was still life inside.

Googling using the kind of search words that I was looking for a response to.

Thru kundalini yoga website.

I experienced a spontaneous awakening in February this year. I searched all over the web and eventually found myself resting happily within the confines of this site. It has provided me with many answers and helped me through some very challenging experiences.

It is those sort of things that just have to happen. I was browsing through the net, found a list of symptoms of Kundalini, and minutes later, I was on the list.

A flull blown K experience the first time. And the second time, it was to learn more about energy and how it functions. I also love seeing the process of people that become K awakened. How they deal with it and the different issues they conquer.

Looking for fellowship re: kundalini, Origonally found El Collies signs and symptoms page. Couldn't believe it! had never seen the symptoms described in any other literature, (and had read many many books) Cried with gratitude on realising symptoms indicated activated kundalini.

Because I was wondering, if the strange turn my life had taken, significantly beyond my comprehension was kundalini related.

finally got a computer a few years back and started researching interests and ways to connect and interact. somewhere k-list popped up in group searches, I joined, and have maintained membership since. not really a groupie, but there are a few I've stayed with, which should be a complement to the list.

I like your site and the archive material (including polls like this!) have been really useful to me on my journey.

I think I did a google search on 'grounding' - one of the many searches I do every day on all things metaphysical - and came across Mystress's grounding meditation - which felt amazing - and I kept reading and I kept liking, so I joined.

i was on a genius-l list and Angelique showed up and made me laugh the way she treated these anal-retentive male "geniuses" - who were "too cool for school".

Finder of God/dess. I was waking up again, and played google roulette. Whammo.

weird things had been happening for quite a long time, it felt like a really long time. Time enough had passed before I found this list for me to loose it because I didn't know what was going on, I am still not sure but I am not freaked out about it so much.

Someone on a dutch list for manic depressed pointed out to me that our experience looked very much like a kundalini-awakening and gave the link to the k-list

I had been experiencing many strange things either while meditating, laying in bed trying to go to sleep, or upon awakening. Sometimes I would be wide awake or at work.

3. What do you think "triggered" your K

I think it was ongoing for a long time, but my "explosion" occurred in June '97. It was spontaneous. I hadn't even meditated for over a year before it occurred.

I did a small visualization of a snake uncoiling and going up my spine to my head. Don't do this unless you want an awakened kundalini. This is interesting however, because it would be similar to the visualization one would do in a grounding meditation. I feel that my K was midly awakened before that, perhaps since birth.

Starting to think that it has always been there.

My kundalini was activated by Shakitpat.

I've had mild litte tastes over the past few years, but being on this list has really stirred things up

I dont know enough about Kundalini to say that its an awakening. Something energy-related seems to be playing out. I'm trying to take it as it comes.

I gave up my old way of thinking and living, very intensively so. Combined with intense yoga practice.

'94 L.A. earthquake, t'ai chi practice, finding out my husband was having an affair, my best friend dying rapidly from cancer -- in short, loss of my "normal" life.

I remember saying a prayer, naively, asking God to kill my ego.

I've been told & read that I was born awakened (a natural one): in fact I do not know

I was born awakened, I think that my mom was awakened or awakening when I was born. My mom is also experiencing the symptoms and is interested in metaphysical books.

Most likely meditation, though I had experiences before I started doing meditation on regular basis (such as "altered states", "oneness" etc).

NDE in the beginning .... PTSD and meditation

Wow. I think it's complex. To summarize, a combination of quitting crappy job to go back to school to study art again (no longer in a "routine" & art is a major love in my life); an intense emotional need to visually understand what I was drawing; some other things that would require a much lengthier explanation...to be contd. in a future post.

I attended to a Sahaya Yoga group, although some things had been going on for a while

Pure experience. After long, long years of battling I finally got some common sense.

I would say that it started back in my teens when we lived in a condo-apartment. I was just getting very interested in witchcraft, and the occult. I remember having my lights turned off sitting on a chair in meditation in front of my stereo, with Yngwie Malmsteen's Disciples of Hell playing. I instinctively used what is called vibration of names, as well as "feeling" tone as a sort of verticular energy bar over the earth. Then I started moving this energy-bar to the vibration in tune to the chords.

I didn't think much about it at the time. I was rather pleased with myself, actually. In truth, the place became increasingly inhospitable, with poltergeist activity running rampant until we finally moved. It became so bad that my mother became afraid of going outdoors, with her feet swollen real bad. The night before we left, it showed its true face, but that is another story. ;-)

Thru the practise of qi-gong

I nearly died from a drugs overdose in early February and about two weeks later I triggered the awakening during deep meditation.

It was activated around two years ago, when I started doing Yoga very regularly. I am now almost 19. However, I know it has been there for a long time, and due to the circumstances it was repressed.

Pure love given to me from someone via Reiki on a constant basis. I was doing breathing lessons with Dr. Andrew Weil and I was doing meditations with Melinda Ann Peterson. The combination of all three of those was lightening!

had been clinically depressed and had a spiritual awakening which helped me to get over that. Then intensely read metaphysical books, meditated and practiced Iyengar yoga- every day for ten weeks. Did some meditations specifically on chakras not realising it could awaken K. Had always been interested in metaphysical subjects through chilhood and teens.

Stress. Dissatisfaction. And a set of realisations such as: * I do things, so that I'm active * if I don't do things, I'm anxious * I can't identify the source of my anxiety * Everything I do takes me further away from myself * My whole world view is externally manifested, leaving an inner emptiness * There's nothing to fear but fear itself * Standing still can't kill me * All my thoughts are distractions * I choose what I think

And so forth.. I went as deep as I could. And found that everything changed.

probably fears as a child, high school adolescent caffeine freak listening to hendrix, dylan, working as a pin chaser at a bowling alley. later, perhaps use of psychoactive drugs, relationship trauma, etc., etc..

Spontaneous shaktipat on the massage table. I wonder though... I've always been more awake than most people I've met: it used to confuse me. But the big surge happened then, and then another one after I got shaktipat from Glenn Morris.

I didn't have a huge trigger, more a slow process of unfolding, un-kinking, expanding, sensitising, opening etc.

been doing yoga with some regularity since about age 15. that makes it uh... 33 years. in some cases - *shock* - meditation - different things. maybe the 102 stitches on my head when i almost died.

Formal study with a teacher when I was 26-27 - 28? 2 1/2 years. That was almost 20 years ago.

I am not sure what the trigger was, Just after the new year of 2001 I started having premonitions. I stuck around because I am afraid I'll get lost in those places again and this seems like as good a safety net as I could find. Every now and then someone will write something that saves me from myself. When that happens and I get this me too feeling it is such a relief. Sometimes, just knowing it isn't just me is the ultimate grounding exercise.

meditation

I have been meditating for nearly thirty years. I began in the 1970s with Transcendental Meditation, but soon went beyond that. I became a student of Theosophy (The Secret Doctrine, Isis Unveiled etc.) and the Alice Bailey books (Esoteric Psychology, A Treatise on White Magic, The Rays and the Initiations etc.) Over the years I have read everything from Carlos Castaneda to Gurdjieff and while my career path has ben in healthcare administration, I have also explored some aspects of energy healing (e.g., Reiki, Pranic Healing)

4. Was you awakening planned or spontaneous

Spontaneous

I did seek it out but had no idea what I was in for. I did it sort of by the seat of my pants.

The recent event that brought everything to a point was spontaneous.

My awakening was not planned although my religious past and beliefs may have lead me to seek out the divine.

I guess I'm going to say sought after, as I was looking into psychology, relaxation techniques, meditation, and really fell in love with meditating on the chakras. Something jsut went ding inside.

I restarted doing reiki and chanting as a conscious decision a few months ago. "Sought after " definately

Spontaneous and unplanned. I knew I was giving up all the old, but had no idea what would be coming to replace it.

Spontaneous, although I was certainly aware of working with energy generally through t'ai chi practice.

Spontaneous in that I didn't know anything about kundalini but sought after given my original intention.

Definitely UNPLANNED (see above)

I had no idea that the rest of the people were not experiencing what I was going through, I thought it was something people experience but don't talk about.

Nope, just happened. "Kundalini" was not even in my vocabulary before it started.

Spontaneous

Well, I'd done tons of reading on kundalini, chakras, witchcraft/magic, Wilhelm Reich/orgone therapy, etc, but the awakening itself was rather spontaneous; I guessed that was what I was going through, but I wasn't totally sure. I currently have occasional sessions of Core Energetics therapy (grandchild of Reich's orgone therapy).

I was definitely searching for something. Just didn't know what until it hit me. :)

Completely unplanned. I understood from the first symptoms what was happening (and really become amazed), but I had never imagined that the body had this hability to recover health.

It was sought after, definately. I am in need of it actually. I realize now that everything I ever was has led me up to this I am now, and that is someone who is feeling like you have total fucking GOD to the left and total fucking insanity to the right and the places have a funny way of tricking you back and forth. Basically, I think my "awakening" was more akin to realizing that all parameters are set by completely different dials than those I previously assumed.

completely unplanned after 3 weeks of qi-gong. I don't even know what kundalini is.

Totally unplanned - entirely unexpected.

Spontaneous, with some unconscious effort, perhaps my higher self.

I had some mini awakenings before the big awakening. None of them were planned or asked for.

I definitely wanted something to happen but i was more expecting the 'Western' sort of awakening (top down)? Was primarily trying to be able to hear/ see guides/higher self to receive guidance more clearly. Had read a little about kundalini and liked the way it sounded like a systematic cleansing of chakras. Never actually expected it to happen to me though!

It was planned and unplanned at the same time. I often new, that something was going to happen sooner or later. And I was trying to create the space for me to do such. I then went hey, this moment of serenity is never going to come. What's the worst that can happen. In hindsight I was very foolish. If I knew then what I know now, ... No hey, I'm a lot better at a lot of things. But it's all the things that I was bad at. And a lot of the things I was good at, have disappeared!

initially not aware of kundalini at all even though experiencing symptons. began reading a lot, discovered a lot, began planning.

Unplanned and I was really frightened by it. I'd read about kundalini and always thought 'lordy, lordy, I do NOT want to go there'. heheh...

Hard to say, coz there was no one 'event' - it all just slowly started taking shape. I have been passionately learning and seeking new information for the last 7 years, so in that way things have been sort of planned I guess.

spontaneous

Worked for, but not planned or expected. Severely, entertainingly mind-blowing.

Spontaneous, that is to say it sure as hell caught me by surprise.

unplanned. Allthough meditating, I had no idea what I was looking for, just wanted to learn meditation, and had never heard of kundalini.

I always thought it was not a good idea to consciously seek such experiences. I sensed there was danger in trying to open such pathways.

5. Has it been a pleasurable, scary or painful experience

All of the above

For the first few months I was very scared. But started to ease into it. Interactions between people became very different. As soon as I started opening up to to the people around me I realized that my consciousness was expanding beyond my comprehension. I was only ever dealing with the tip of the iceberg. It was very scary, and at times it still is. K itself isn't the culprit, it is the saviour.

No pain, but fear and self-doubt.

It has been terrifying, sexually erotic and has brought enough depression to think of suicide. Over all it has been unbelievably painful. I must say that it seems to be less painful as time progresses. I am no longer depressed.

Quite pleasurable, if tiring. Meditation takes on a whole new aspect. Have to take things slow, and sometimes I want to do more but I know my body can't handle it. I sleep a lot after some k movement

I'm not sure, it changes nearly daily. It' vacillates between being reassuring and extreemly agitating. And then there was the itching.

All of the above. :)

All of the above.

It has redefined my life, my brain, my cells - all of the above.

When I look back to my life events, I did not know it was K. and it was quite painful.

It has had its ups and downs

Mostly pleasurable, but had a couple of "shocks".

A roller coaster, scary, paranoic, painful, confusing, deep longing. Afterwards enjoyable and blissful K. has been my therapist !

It was scary in a thrilling sort of way--things I'd either never felt or had not felt since a very early age and the constant rapid-fire synthesis of thoughts "shocked" me. It was quite pleasurable as well in many ways.

All of these. Feelings change by the month. Never know what's behind the corner.

It has been the door back to life.

All of the above. I mean how can it not be, right? I don't like the insect-mind too much, but as Lennon says "All you need is Love". Removing exterior faces and so forth. There is so much that we need forgiveness for, as well as giving forgiveness for. It doesn't surprise me that an alien mind looks into our souls and tries to communicate with us, with horrifying images being the result. I mean it would only be using our collective consciousness to try to find the language that best works. Truly, all you need is Love.

Normal for me.

The experience seems to have occured on so many levels and I harbour many contradictory sentiments towards it. It has been unspeakably beautiful, enriching, alienating, frightening and ultimately revolutionary. I feel like im learning to be human for the first time.

It has been interesting. It is definitely a way of knowing who you are really, and that comes about with pain and pleasure. Many times, unpleasurable experiences become a source of joy simply knowing that they are a sign of something bigger than yourself manifesting.

It has been a very pleasureable experience with a lot of pain thrown in there via things that had to be embraced and then surrendered to. All in all, when I finally surrendered, not much hurts anymore. The "watcher" state is a wonderful, peaceful place to be in.

All of above. As I said I was immensely grateful for it. I am in awe of it- which implies a certain amount of fear. Before i found the websites though I had a dream which reassured me that I could trust it completely. I think that prepared me not to totally freak out when i read about some of the scarier aspects of it. Interestingly the dream was of a Japanese man and two older women teaching me sequences of body movements after which I became ecstatic. Recently I just read about Hiroshi Motoyama and his two mothers.... Has also been scary and painful at times as I am now doing spontaneous yoga, pranayama and 'aura operations' some of which are painful but which I know are doing me good. Things feel like they are getting a bit out of control though when I try to do meditations/visualisations though.

Yes, yes, yes. All three, sometimes at the same time. It started of as pleasurable pain. But I've also felt extreme fear, to degrees that I didn't know were possible.

all 3 for sure. 'the pleasure seems to balance out the pain'. what I'm most scared about is my energy being misdirected and winding up in the hospital. happened once, but I've since learned from it.

I don't know how to answer that. I have been in great pain and very frightened, yes. but now I'm turning the corner and understanding what a profoundly beautiful thing is happening to me... becoming truly beloved.

Infinitely pleasurable! Sometimes scary, sometimes lonely, sometimes painful but in good, healing ways (releasing old pain). Pleasure overrides all the rest, though. Love, pleasure, ecstacy, bring it on!

yes yes and yes

The physical stuff was fun. The cleaning-out of karma was definitely not. Sometimes think that if I just let it be a subconscious process, I'd be better off.

I have not experienced any pain but pleasure is more extreme and scary is out of this world. At least it used to be I am better at backing off and watching now where before I wasn't aways able to. Everything used to feel more personal.

scary

I wouldn't describe it as pleasurable or painful. At times scary because I was dealing with a lot of unknowns. Thanks to my own research and particularly this group, I am less fearful and have learned to go with the flow.

6. What symptoms are manifesting

Energy rushes, spontaneous orgasms, recollection of past lives, physical empathy (I pick up the physical symptoms of others---but this waxes and wanes), extreme heat in my feet and along my spine, itching along spine, cessation of sweating, increased telepathy, crown tingling, extreme emotional lability, etc. etc.

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Psychic visions. A lot of entities appeared. Hearing voices. Entities took the shape of my friends and family mocking me telling me what I thought etc. It was creepy. This is the most ungrounding thing I have experienced. I still havn't got over it fully.. I can remember thost experiences very well. They were basically saying "Hi welcome to the real world. You suck. Life sucks." I also used to see a lot of words and stuff.

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All on the list.

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My symptoms have included hearing voices, visions, hot and cold feelings, feelings of something moving up my spine as if a snake was actually in it, numb feet, blurred vision, migraines, hat band feeling around my head, a pulsating frontal and occipital lobe, pressure in third eye, smelling flowers, spontaneous orgasms, spontaneous trance states, increased energy, insomnia, severe depression, trembling, dots of bright white light and cobalt blue, green and red light before my closed eyes, weight loss, extreme sexual excitement, paranoia, extreme anger, severe chest pain when my heart chakra opened, tickling sensation in my face, cloudiness in thoughts, forgetfulness, lucid dreams, dreams that have come true, I know what others are thinking, I feel their emotions(empath but have learned to control this), I know when others are thinking of me.

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get this buzzing, undulating energy in the base of my torso that will whoosh up and roll through my body out the top of my head. Sometimes during meditation, sometimes at work when I'm talking to someone (not so good - very disorienting). Get very cold afterwards. A lot of extra sleeping; having trouble with my eyes staying focused; sexual drive on high; sometimes get this feeling of detached calmness, and I seem to be watching a movie rather than being in the scene; having quite a few "ah-ha" moments, where things just suddenly seem to make sense

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Mood changes every couple of days. Heightened sexual urges. crazy itching all over my body

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Intense emotions, fear, joy, fits of rage. Near neurotic sexuality at times. Vivid and intense lucid dreams. Dreams of dying voluntarily. Tingles, movements and burning in the body, especially along the spine. Rushes of heat and cold. Pressure in the sexual regions. Swirling vortex in the third eye. Spontaneous images and experiences of chakras and the etheric body, astral entities. Spontaneous pranayama (Such as rapid bellows breath and breath retention) Spontaneous mudras and bandhas, in particular moolbandha. Full sensory experiences without any external sensory input (music) Spontaneous visions in meditation that burn and dissolve. Oversensitivity, in partilulary to sound. Intense love and connection with things in the world. Expansion of the body of perception, capability to 'sense' the world. Loss of desire and passion. Increse of desire and passion. Astral travel. Out of body experiences. Body dislocation (Feeling like the energy body is in one place and the physical in another) Spontaneous experiences of finding an absolute center. Very -sudden- realization of things that have sometimes been pleasant, other times outright frightening. Btw, it has not all happened at once! LOL

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Have had most of the usual ones. Currently I hear harmonic, musical chords 24/7, frequently feel vibrations in various places of the body, see prana visually quite often, lights occasionally. Dreams are intense and meaningful, often lucid. Less pleasant symptoms are headaches, skin rashes, occasional days of psychological emptying out that leave me apathetic or depressed. In general, though, my health and spirits are joyful -- better than they've been in many years.

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For the first couple of years I had all the "usual" symptoms. Now things are much quieter. Most of the bells and whistles have dissipated save for a deeper awareness of how other's feel. Definitely more empathic.

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K-rushes in my body, some siddhis, fatigue, memory loss, sometimes waking up around 3am, lots of unvolontary shakings (kriyas) and ringing ears, very amplified when I practice red tantra with heat in my body

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I can feel other people's feelings (empathy), I feel a lot of sensations in my body (heavyness, cleariness, extreme coldness/hot flashes, kriyas, numbness in my extremities). I feel what I'm one with everything that surrounds me (this is something else, i thought wsa normal). Extreme happyness and extreme depresion. I don't get along with electric machines that great, but i'm learning to handle that better, light bulbs seem to stop functioning when I'm around them. I gave away an alarm clock to my aunt that neer functioned and she wondered whey I had giving it away because for her it works perfectly!

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"Pressure" inside the skull, vortex-like sensations on the forehead, under my feet, tingling sensations allmost everywhere, spasms, "shooters" up the spine, heart-palpitations, heat.

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Had visions, headaches, lucid dreaming. Very empathic now, more grounded and *highly connected* much more relaxed.

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Not much now, though I actually feel a bit shaky right now (nothing too extraordinary) and reading something earlier (not k-related) caused a ball of heat in my spine because it ticked me off; could just be coffee :^P. In 93, I started feeling sensations in perineum (root). Days later, I woke up & leaped out of bed (I'm not a morning person!); I felt like Bambi staring at his antler reflected in a lake--like I was suddenly alive, sexual, & powerful. I was extremely hot--people stared at me for wearing shorts & tank tops in the late autumn. I felt like my personality turned inside-out--I really wanted someone to talk to at the time to figure out what was real within me (all of it, probably; couldn't live with the duality?). Sex drive on fire; I'm female, but felt like I had "blue balls" most of the time. Didn't need much sleep for days, then I'd crash for a while, then be ready to go again. I would drive & drive (my car) into the wee hours every night--extreme urge to "go" or travel. Fascinated by the dark, woods, the moon, even closer bond than usual to animals, who would often respond sexually. Felt more outgoing yet had more extreme social anxiety; anxious butterflies would become extreme if anyone was in close physical proximity. Senses were exceedingly acute (I'm sensitive anyway); could hear conversations many yards away, felt others' emotions/inner states. Felt I was almost exclusively right-brained--almost couldn't read, just saw words as letterforms. Felt I could discern particular emotions of artists or composers when looking at/listening to their works. Insights into instinctual behavior that I'd not had before. I'll stop here...

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Hot and burning sensations, cold sensations, spontaneous kriyas, backbone moving and straightening, pressure in different locations, intense sexual drive, sleepiness, exhaustion.

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All kind of physical ones. Specially spontaneous movements and energy waves at the brain.

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School-book? They don't so much manifest... more like pee on you or explode in your face. Or when you're in a good mood, it can even feel as if it is playing your deck. And boy what a deck of power that is. Too bad it doesn't respond well to egotism, human pride, or plain desire.

It does respond amazingly well to affirming a wished state in the now, through any means.

Thing is mostly, it has a life of its own. Especially at night. So-called alien abductions, twitches and slappings like falling from three thousand feet, strong erotic tingling and feelings as if someone is touching you all over... Followed by either a waning away or a moving upwards into sticky flamey sensations that result in me not being able to sleep all night.

Visual and physical and psychical.

They have subdued hugely since February but at the time I experienced electrical, prickly, rushing sensations in my groin, abdomen, chest, back, forhead, face and crown. Like a fountain welling upwards. The energy produced a huge amount of heat and often froze me at the same time, always making me sweat profusely. I frequently give myself and others electric shocks and respond badly to areas with too many electrical appliances.... The real experience for me was an unspeakable sense of love, oneness, clarity, peace and even ecstacy. Other times a sense of amplified chaos, fear and dread. I wont continue.. im sure we could all write pages.

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Lots of everything, but my Yoga practice makes it smoother. OBE's, burning sensations (not very strong thought), muscle twitches, pain in my chest, ringing in the ears, feeling of a strong wind. Feeling im out of breath. Energy dizziness.

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extreme heat, vibrations, loving, ogasmic feelings, feeling out of the body at times. Tiredness. Bliss. Horse hooves sound pounding in my ear. I'm sure there are others.

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Many on El Collies list though i must say primarily physical ones at this stage. Lots of energy rushes, feeling activity in chakras, spontaneous yoga, ringing in ears, disc problems in lumbar area, before that sciatic pain numb extremities, mostly on left side.etc etc Also have found I can ask questions and recieve answers ie thumbs up or thumbs down. Has anyone else tried that? If so,How effective is it..? The spontaneous mudras and asanas have only been happening to me for about a month so i would appreciate any input on this.

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Things have quietened down for a while now.

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right now, extreme states of excitement, creativity and productivity mixed with extreme states of tiredness (although comfortable and restfull). seems about at least once every few weeks, I want to die (not in a way that I would kill myself), but just wanting to leave, find another world. I get bored easily, frustrated with the world sometimes and lately have been finding some difficulty adapting to people, especially in small talk, social/work situations. I guess I prefer to observe more than interact.

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I'm working on damping down my symptoms and grounding again, to be honest! I can access the void state but right now I'm working on my emotional healing and on being present in my daily life. I can see energy and I'm very empathic - not just to people but to places, music, trees, all sorts.. It's actually a problem holding my balance in the middle of it all. I really rocketed off into k-psychosis for a while back there, in a big beautiful messy splurge...

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Huge levels of synchronicity! I love it, so much fun. Just recently a heightened sensitivity to my own and other people's energy. For years I have been able to pump out the energy but not been able to sense it, so it's nice to be feeling more. Tingling in hands and feet. Doors to my heart flung wide open, releasing blindlingly beautiful love - and also some pain. Really tired, all the time.

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mom just died and ongoing local crap here. i'm in grief - PTSD even, maybe. empathic qualities HIGHLY sensitive right now. have to isolate and remain in meditative state as much as possible.

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Still when meditating, fall easily into 'witless' state, and then off to divine-land. Easily find the pulse of the universe in my breathing.

Currently, I am at rest, maintaining.

(were) shaking, energy going up my spine, feeling heat and heating up things around me, experiencing being burned allover, vivid memories of past lives including many cruel ways of dying, being helped by extraterrestrial intelligence to unblock my 3rd chakra, being very small and very big at times, seeing a whole light orchestra in my head one night, many synchronicities, sexual attacks by entities, increased sexual activity.

Intense surges of energy which started in 2001, just before I had surgery (radical prostatectomy) and happened infrequently for the next few years. Now they are increasing in frequency. Frequent sensations of energetic activity at lower levels of intensity. Constant ringing in the ears, even as I am writing this. Feeling strange “movements” inside the body Spontaneous movements of arms and legs while meditating Feeling that the left side of my head is being stroked – often. Strange breathing patterns while meditating – I have since come to learn that this may be some type of yogic breathing. Itching – especially intense on the soles of my feet. Feeling pin prick sensations randomly in different body locations. Also hot flashes at times.

7. How are your loved ones handling it

I didn't tell anyone for two months. Husband was supportive. Kids had a mixed reaction with one daughter rejecting it outright. The few friends I told had a mixed reaction, too. One became jealous and rejected me, another told me that I was probably going crazy, another (a yoga teacher) understood the process better than I did.

They treat it like an illness. I keep telling them its fine and normal, but difficult to deal with. They think that it messes me up. I tell them about all the benefits, but I guess their opinion is that anything that is partly bad is all bad.

They don't understand, but try to be supportive.

I told my husband that I was going through a spiritual awakening. I have basically hidden most of my symptoms so as not to worry him. I have always known what others thought about me. I have always predicted some things to him and they have always come true so he just believes everything I say. i say little to him. Only three of my closest and oldest friend know about it. One of 30 years knows the most. I am always amazed that they don't think me crazy but then again they have known me so long.

They don't know - I live by myself and just tell people I need a lot of sleep. Someone will ask how my weekend was, and I'll say really great! but then don't know how to explain it all... ;)

they aren't aware of it , i'm in another country.

Quite well! Though it has been a difficult for my wife. For the course of several years it absorbed most of my life and I would barely talk or think about anything else. She's been incredibly patient and loving however, and has let me play it out. (She is awakening, as well) My father is confused and doesn't really talk much about it, but he has no problems with it. My sister is a bit afraid of it, possibly because she has had a lot of paranormal experiences in her life that were very unpleasant.

I've remarried and my current husband is terrific and supportive. Rest of the family are not surprised as I've always been "the spiritual one."

I could easily have been diagnosed to be psychotic during those first years but my husband stuck with me.

My wife accepts the situation even if she does not know anything about K. In France hardly nobody knows K. stuff so I'm quite isolated so in fact not affected. Have a feeling that my two young children (4 & 6 years old) understands me perfectly, maybe more than myself

I can talk about it with my mother and some acquantances. I don't talk about this with my close friends because they think that this stuff is not real. I'm glad i'm part of this group now, because I know that a lot of people share the same feelings

No wife, no kids and very few knows :)

They dont know exaclty what has been going on LOL for them I always have lived in my *special astral world* Family is Christian or Catholic, I never talk about it.

I stayed away from most people--either I was afraid they'd think I was a freak, or I actually could not tolerate being in their company (due to very different outlook); other times, people were drawn to me like a magnet, but I was anxious when they got close to me, as I said above. I've mentioned it to some friends since then; some said it sounded like I was on an LSD trip (I've never taken it).

My significant other is somewhat reserved but supportive, quite a few of my friends know and still think I'm sane or for most parts anyway, my mother is very skeptical but my sister is more open. Father doesn't know.

They don't know nothing, and couldn't understand it either. They just see me better each day and that's enough for them.

lol... My wife was _born_into it, seeing as when she met me, I made it abundantly clear where I was at.

Nobody knows. It's between me and what it is inside

My mother and one of our mutual friends are extremely supportive and accommodating. She belonged to the arcane school and is familiar with what I am experiencing (although she hasnt experienced it herself). Our mutual friend awoke his kundalini some thirty years ago. I count myself very, very lucky to have them near me. It is a rare thing from what I gather. A number of my closer friends know and whilst they dont understand they are supportive.

People can definitely can pick up that there is something going on. I think my mom is also going through it, but she is very scared of it, so it's nice to share about it. My roommates also know it, but they themselves are passing through some kind of opening so they see it as "normal" (if such word can be used).

They don't know exactly what hit me 4 years ago. But it was extremely hard on them. I often get strange looks to this day from my husband. Some of my sons are beginning to embrace the new me. At first I was just down right strange to all of them. I think they thought they were going to lose the person they grew up with. They soon learned that this was a better, newer model of ME! None of them understand my thinking about religion at this point. I can take religion or leave it. Now Goddess is another thing.

My mother said, your so intense...dont get all obsessive! but has been mostly supportive my partner is supportive but a bit bewildered. My sister knows and is positive, and 1 friend was excited for me. So good overall

I don't have any "loved ones".

Thankfully my significant other is experienced in dealing with kundalini, and the various insanity that goes along with it. If it wasn't for that it would be very difficult at times indeed. My family and close friends have long been aware of my unique chemistry, and I guess are used to me.

I'm recently divorced. My children are small and accepting.. nobody else really knows what's going on. Though oddly enough I think my father has guessed, from hints he drops, but he's quiet about it and letting me get on with things. I don't feel ready to talk about it with them yet.

I think my husband gets sick of me talking about it non-stop! But he's very supportive, and loves his 'hippy-chick'! Family just think I'm a bit of a runt, oh well (this has been the hardest part of the whole thing, I love my family and I'm scared we are going to lose touch completely). Friends are mixed - most can see I'm happier so they think it's cool, some I've lost touch with, mainly because I'm more protective of my time and energy, and won't allow myself to be passively abused as I did in the past.

daughter says i am "mildly insane". (which is an improvement - she has blue hair anyway, and a spike through her bottom lip) the sister i never met for over 30 years doesn't yet know the extent of my spirituality, but think she'll love me anyway, since i am now the *matriarch*.

Not. Wife does not see what I'm going through as spiritual, and there's no language to bridge that. Daughter (18) thinks it cool, but doesn't know the discipline involved. Son just knows me as Dad. hehe.

My loved ones, bless their hearts, don't exactly call it kundalini. They have come to terms with their own definition though, and this is good too.

very well

Except for one close friend, no one knows.

8. Is it affecting day to day functioning?

It did. Not so much now, but it depends. For several months I slept a lot. I could not stay out of an altered state. I laughed and cried indiscriminately. I have had periods of extreme detachment, and feelings of unreality that have lasted up to several months at a time.

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Definatly. My brain is working differently than I am used to.

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In the beginning, yes.

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No it isn't affecting my day to day life as it used to. If I had a job in the beginning, I would have been fired. I had a very stressful and demanding business life when I worked. I would not have been able to keep up with that. Thankfully, I am at home raising a 5 and 7 year old.

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At times work is difficult - hard to concentrate when the waves hit, and the excessive sleepiness is a bother, but not unduly so

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Yes sometimes

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There were days I could do nothing but sit and stare at nothing. Good thing then that I've worked in a studio where I can stare at nothing whenever needed. Had a closed off workspace, which is in retrospective, a -true- blessing. Thanks to good guidance, Mystress, two swamis, and my wife, I am doing quite alright. :)

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Yes, in the sense of feeling happy, grateful, very awake most of the time. I find that I am very present-centered. Also completely permeates my work as a psychologist, overtly or quietly.

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I am fully functional now and have stronger coping skills than before. Pre K, I lacked the ability to set boundaries for myself where other are concerned. I'm less critical of myself post K and more compassionate with others.

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My main problem is memory loss in particular when working as an engineer or in general when in mundane activities

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Sometimes I experience extreme fatigue for no apparent reason, but I think that it's made up because it's just a cycle and sometimes it's surprising all the things that I can get acomplished because sometimes I just have so much energy.

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No, not so far.

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Yes, chaos, then had deep changes in all levels, new activities, job, marriage, etc. etc.

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Thankfully, I wasn't working regularly; in art classes, I didn't care. Sometimes I felt psychotic, yet I had this hyper-rational, "watcher" component constantly talking to myself about what was probably going on...

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Currently a lot. Lately I've been unable to do almost anything. It changes though.

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It's been a long time since I have day to day functioning. So I would say that it is prepairing me for coming back to a day to day functioning. :)

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No I've learned to be a good schizo...lol. Seriously though I know that there is so much more I can do and that I am inherently so lazy by just letting the parameters set for me remain the same, when it is in my god-given power to total turn all those parameters around.

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Not really. I don't really think about how it's going to affect my life.

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I am generally far better than I was, but nearer the peak of the initial awakening I was unable to eat, sleep or talk to people. The electrical energy became too much sometimes and I have suffered from shocks and palpitaions quite regularly. I avoid meditation or any psycho-spiritual activity when I need to focus on other things. Ive manged to keep my degree going which is wonderful but ultimately the most of the symptoms i mentioned ebb and flow to varying degrees.

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Some nights when I have Kundalini movements, I just can't sleep afterwards, and sometimes I get in the state of mind that I NEED to sleep to be productive the next day. It has definitely changed how I perceive the world, my relationships with people, and my state of mind.

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There are somedays when naps are sought after. When I was going to school it was extremely hard to concentrate, expecially during studying and tests. Now a lot of that has slowed down. There are still tired times after shakti has her way. :-)

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It has been a bit but I am about to start an intensive period of work where I will be on call mostly 24/7 as an independent midwife. I feel I have to do this as there is a crisis in my area as there are not enough midwives. (We provide all the care in pregnancy & childbirth) I am quite scared about this as I am unsure how I will handle it at the same time as kundalini is becoming more active. Also it was 3 yrs ago when I was doing it that I became very depressed and had to drop out (A high burnout job) I am hoping the K will help me as when I ask if I should do it, it indicates 'yes' and also perhaps with the many uncertainties of the job. We live miles away from a base hospital.

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Yes.

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Certainly has an affect on my ability to work certain jobs. I am not adverse to working, but most jobs don't last more than a year or two. I've adapted well mostly, but there is always a point my spirit breaks, and I quit. I've had so many different jobs and worked with so many types of people at this point and still do not know what I want to be doing regularly.

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It was. I stopped eating for a while, didn't go out, was obsessional, really couldn't cope. I was only tethered here by my children - I'm proud of myself for keeping it together for them - and they were the only people I remained normal with, to anyone who knows me.

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Yep! Can't concentrate at work. But I'm pulling it off somehow, doing just enough work to keep the bosses happy, so that's good. But also in wonderful ways - on days where I'm struggling, emotionally, I can get into a good space much more easily than in the past. Also, have (mainly) let go of horrible anxiety that I used to have all the time.

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yes. i am in a bad way and will probably have to take a reprieve from my job and hit the road again. (just got back from oregon and california and hawaii)

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Only when I dwell on it (g). If I just function as I should, life goes well. Stick your hands in the dirt, feed and play with the cats, and laugh at all the funny people.

Yes, but this is a good thing, for all the dysfunction I progress too. it was No problem – except for serious insomnia.

9. Has your experience been primarily physical or metaphysical?

Both. I felt from the beginning that I was really lacking something physically, and it turned out that I have scoliosis.

Metaphysical.

Both. I felt from the beginning that I was really lacking something physically, and it turned out that I have scoliosis.

My experience has been both physical and metaphysical

Primarily physical - don't think I'm emotionally stable enough at present to take in all of the metaphysical symptoms people describe...you won't be given more than you can handle. ;)

I'd say both but primary physical

Both. It seems intricately connected.

Both, but by far the most important outcome has been the evolution to a nondual view of the world. About 4 years into the awakening I "saw" that the personal self doesn't really exist -- "I am not the doer," as the advaitists say. The identification with a personal self has been eroding ever since.

Both, but my body suffered damage that I am still trying to repair.

Both

It has been both

Mostly physcial, though the metaphysics lurks around the corner :)

Both

Both--extremely physical, yet I feel I was given a major "taste" of what it would be like to stay open: I would have to work through a lot of stuff, which was too overwhelming at the time for me to stay open, I guess. After starting to close down again, I had a few mini-awakenings/deep insights while looking at certain artworks "in person" by great masters. *Sigh* How I would love to open again--and this time stay that way.

It's been extremely physical with continuous symptoms even when in crowds but I don't mind. However, a lot of revelations have also occurred. Times of bliss etc. are rarer for me.

Both of them. A new door of each opening almost every day.

Both. How can you ask such a question, really? If you know, then you know that physical and _meta_physical are the same things; that consciousness observes energy according to its senses, regardless of what those senses may or may not be limited to. Sorry for rambling. *bows out*

both

Both - id almost certainly say that the physical and metaphysical are mutually constituted. Finally, I would like to greet everyone on this list with love and light. I havent spoken to any of you individually before as this is my first contact, but I know we all share something very, very special. I hope that I make a connection with some of you.

Both. When I am at college, it is very physical, when I am back home, it is more balanced.

It has been a growing process metaphysically for me. I'm able to understand people much better and allow them to be who they need to be. It's easy to share love and energy and not have a need for a return. I love the physical part. The different feelings. But I found it's best not to expect certain things because they fade like the wave of an ocean only to come back in a different way on the return trip. Surrender is key...holding onto nothing.

Physical mostly

A combination that's always changing.

both. I keep my body in shape to deal with the energy, but it is my mind that does the spinning.

Metaphysical. I've had cleansing times, physically, though.

Both. Tired physically, but also heaps of tingles and rushes, especially when I 'tune in' - but metaphysically I'm able to sense more and be more aware.

both. aren't they intertwined?

Eh. From time to time it's one thing, and then another. It's more related to my head-trip than my experience right now. I know it'll change in time, though. Always does...

Metaphysical.

metaphysical, a bit physical

Both . I see it as a learning experience in how to overcome fear. Thanks again to this group. It has been very helpful to know that I am not totally off center.