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I've been having the most intense experiences of late :). I was wondering if any of you could shed some *light* on what's going on with me.

My third eye is WIDE open. Through my regular eyes I'm seeing auras and all kinds of cool stuff. When I close my eyes now, I don't always see the golden light, although that's there a lot, too. I've been seeing the most AMAZING colors filling the inside of my head--mainly intense purple, intense navy blue, amazing sky blue, and the most scarlet red I could ever imagine going out infinity. Once in a while I see a shape floating in the corner of my mind. And sometimes I see the most incredible patterns I've *never* seen!

I'm not tripping or anything, so anybody have a clue what this could mean? The vibe's wonderful. Granted, I don't want to get totally locked into this stuff, but it seems to be really neat icing on the K cake!

***********
ME TOO!  Amazing, incredible, indescribably intricate, detailed, beautiful
patterns that divide and multiply and swirl about in colour sometimes - like
a cosmic kalaiescope with the quality of fractals.

They first started for me after my 5th depressive breakdown (long dark
night) when I experienced a kind of union of male/female, with lots of
syncs, mythological archtypes etc.  That was 4 years ago - I see them every
night, though not always clearly.  They seem to correlate with the glowing
of my crown, third eye, heart, throat chakras - they seem to set each other
off as if all 4 interlinked.

I don't what if anything it means - don't know much about chakras.  Any
ideas?

**************
  These are called "phosphene" patterns and they often show up in native
art relating to Shamanic travel to the dream world, and in 60's acid
inspired op-art. They are the wallpaper pattern of the portal to the
dreamtime, the boundary between the conscious and unconscious mind, and the
veil of forgetfullness, itself. It is like the tunnel leading to the light,
except it is representative of the duality of light and dark and the
endless creativity of colors that they manifest together.
Look at Australian aboriginal art relating to the Dreamtime, and you
will see these patterns.

>They first started for me after my 5th depressive breakdown (long dark
>night) when I experineced a kind of union of male/female, with lots of
>syncs, mythological archtypes etc.  That was 4 years ago - I see them every
>night, though not always clearly.  They seem to correlate with the glowing
>of my crown, third eye, heart, throat chakras - they seem to set each other
>off as if all 4 interlinked.

Yes. You had started to integrate the dualities, conscious and
unconscious mind after the breakdown caused the ego to fracture and fragment.

I used to watch these patterns as a game to fall asleep, when I was a
small child. My own private fireworks show. It was not till I was an adult
reading about Shamanism that I understood the relationship between falling
asleep watching them, and the awful night terrors I had, of a big shadow
monster that destroyed me over and over again.  I would wake to the
nightmare still continuing, my room filled with malevolent presences that
had me petrified to even move. Every ghost for miles around must have been
attracted to my terror.
Finally I learned to approach the Shadow monster with unconditional
love... and that is when the dreams got worse, because I became the
voiceless shadow monster that destroyed any who feared me. By then I was
old enough to know to say my prayers, and I prayed for the dreams to end
till they did. Rather, they went underground until my Shamanic initiation
with Chacmool jump started the process.

The monster is the Portal Guardian of the dreamtime, also known as the
Jungian Shadow, Lucifer, and the angel with the fiery sword that guards
Eden, so that only those who are without fear, may pass. It is death, and
fear of death, it is karma reflected to keep away those who are not ready
to pass into the light. It protects you from being overwhelmed with the
content of the unconscious.

Death is the doorway to the light, and kundalites go through that door
at ego-death, instead of physical death... and eventually beyond that too,
and into the clear light of the Void.  The Portal Guardian is a being of
the brightest light, but movement into duality that comes of reflecting our
karma causes it to show up as a negative image of darkest shadow. It is
unconditional love, manifesting as a reflection of fear so that we may see
what we fear, and have the option to use our free will to  choose to love.

Most Kundalites do not meet the Portal guardian as a being, as such...
although many experience the lovely patterns of the portal
itself.  Kundalites typically may dream of death showing up as person or
entity, but having your demon/shadow show up separate from you as an ever
present spiritual teacher/guide is usually part of Shaman training. Not an
experience I would wish on anybody!!

You can think of it this way: you are passing through the tunnel to the
dreamtime, just as NDE's describe travelling though the tunnel of light.
The world of dreams is the safe experiential schoolroom where we learn
lessons about the illusion of duality. The upper chakras represent the
universe of non duality.. where every duality shows its reflection. Your
third eye is open so you can watch the trip.

There is more on this, if you search the archives.   


http://www.onelist.com/community/Kundalini-Gateway
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org


*************

my vision has very gradually been changing, and thought i would ask if
anyone has some insight, no pun intented.  the main thing happening is that
more and more i am seeing these benevolent spots (sometimes they are deep
purple midnight-star-like and sometimes they are bright star-like. they
kindof gently appear and then disappear, they do not change positions or
move around really, and when i try to look at them they hide.

i do not mind them, i kindof like them (they are not irritating or
distracting to one's reading like floaters), and my fairy imagination like
to treat them like they are the hints of some light beings that are playing
around me, or just saying hi. else i could just be going blind :)

anyone have this happen??

*************
I have the exact same experience. I have mediated to it, attributed it to
it, them being -spirits, masters, teachers, guides, higher self. I can
definitely  feel an awareness with it – benevolent, caring,. I have mediated
and felt the Star sending me love, filling me with K shivers. When I have
found a way of focusing on it behind my eye lids– but focusing on those
“stars”, purple pulsating in and out was very meditative and peaceful.
They are vast, taking up all my vision and I find that I loose thought.
There are times when I focus on a white ceiling lying down and I can see the
pulse with my eyes open. If there is a light fixture hanging or mounted,
sometimes it will disappear, but I have to focus my eyes out, not blink –
hard to do.
But mostly happens when its dark, ready to go to sleep. Nice way to fall
asleep too. : )

*****************
We have been talking about spots, the light of other worlds that we see
behind our eyes –

Since talking about it ,these ethereal, astral lights, it has dominated my
pre-bed “vision”.
Last night was one of the most intense experience I have had with K in years
(aren’t they all though), very vivid and beautiful, but enough that I turned
the bed light on before falling a sleep.

I laid down and saw the swirls and pulses behind my lids. I can and do feel
many presence’s in my life since K started many years ago. I am not fully
comfortable with it because I am not sure if they are spirits or what have
you – but last night I saw more distinctly then ever before – I turned over
in my bed and opened my eyes. The room was swirling with lights, sparks,
energy, movement. Super bright, tiny blue "nova's", intense sparks of reds.
Energy moving in the room like watching tall grass moving in a wheat field
during a windy day. I saw and began to feel distinct forms, not shapes of
people, but not so indistinct as to be blobs – I felt “them”. Standing
around my bed, kneeling in front of me on my bed.
I heard the soft voice of my own mind, their telepathy telling me not to be
afraid and to find comfort with this.

And then I heard a voice, greet me, one that was SO FAMILER TO ME. The one I
have been talking to my whole life but that I have not heard or paid
attention to often, but knew was their.  I felt its presence and its love,
it / me, telling me – I love you, I will always be there, I am you, you are
me. Etc.. – I started to cry, a good hard cry, a cathartic release I did not
know I had in me. The voice was familer, comfortable, full of love and
compassion, I called it Christ or God, but that does not come close. The
lights, the swirling the energy in the room intensified, grew stronger.

I turned on the light by my bed. I got freaked out. Its just not normal, its
not that I don’t feel safe.

The room was a mass of colors, little sparks streaking in and out of
“vision”, swirls in the air. Nothing was static in my room, the air was
alive with movement.  My typical day of sight is like that, I see the
gray/haze of energy moving around, but not intensely. This was a fireworks
show.

I stared at the ceiling and focused on the light fixture (which was off) and
saw the “star”, yellow, blue energy pulsing ,forming a web hazy but distinct
but pulsating  from the center out, very bright  on the whole ceiling – very
very strong pulse, as bright as the sun, filled the whole room – it was
really cool!! I focused on in until I could not see past it, could not see
the ceiling. I remember vague posts on the old k-list I was on about that
phenomena, but don’t remember what it was about.

While last night was intense, pleasurable and vivid, this is not the first
time that has
“happened”. I could probably make that happen every night.

It freaks me out, more than a little, since I have no idea what it is that I
am doing, or even if I should be.
I don’t know what to make of the “spirit world” and have never met to many
people who wish to talk about that particular mystery in to much detail.
Why do I need to turn the light on, I’m safe right?
I know that the presence’s I feel are benevolent and that the overwhelming
presence of it all is God (or my version be it goddess or god or the earth),

I know, as a rule, we should not linger on the phenomena associated with K –
let them pass through, recognize and acknowledge , but man, they can me some
crazy things that we feel and see.

Its exciting to watch, special to be a part of – but what the hell is it?
Someone once told me that their perception of god was this miniscule part of
the pie, a sliver and that we can never truly know. I though of that last
night. Are these questions I am asking (besides the one on safety) even
worth asking when seeking out answers just isn’t as important anymore?

I apologize if I am babbling but its kind of like masturbating for the first
time in your life, you gotto wonder if you broke something, but its SO
EXCITING.
************
I see these too, mostly blue, sometimes purple, pink or white.
Lately it's been a cascade of tiny sparkley blue specks.

In addition to that I've been seeing vivid colors in peoples mouths
when they're speaking to me (has anyone else had this happen?).

I also thought it might be an eye problem and checked it out with the
optometrist.  Apart from looking at me as though I was nuts - he said
my eyesight had actually improved since my last check up:)

****************
my intuition has given me a similar feeling, that
they are not just beautiful spots, but that they feel very benevolent and
like a wonderful omen, kindof like the feeling of the aurora borealis, very
peaceful and gentle and powerful and beautiful. i usually feel some sort of
loving exchange, they have a very calming and magical effect, like i am
being cared for.

sometimes i feel silly for feeling so happy that they are here, when my
doubting mind has no idea what or who they are or even if they are just a
play of light, but then i just go straight back to feeling wonderfully glad
that i am seeing these midnight stars and twinkle spots

glad you, E, and others are having a similar experience.  seems too lovely
to be the only one!!

**********
Hmm.. the talk of visual patterns people experience has me wondering some
things.  I do have visual experiences of a spiritual nature but I am
particularly interested in internal light, which I have not known too
much of.  I am thinking of auras and chakras (although clearly these are
not exclusively auras). 

<snip>

I have occasionally seen sudden very fast white flashes, or sometimes I am
not sure they are flashes but extremely quick flurries of (information?
images?).  Mostly just like really quick lightning though..  except a
meaningful light.

But like visual patterns and fractal things that occur in my head dont
quite seem directly related to "light".  I am kinda wondering about
auras, I wonder if we might say they are "actual light", as in, actual
phenomena that our visual cortex picks up -- except until we are
spiritually ready, our brain will not interpret it or translate it, or
know to "overlay" it with the other images.  But I wonder if it indeed
seems very much a phenomenon (despite the obvious spiritual/subjective
qualities of experiencing it), or if it somehow feels more like..
overlaid somehow? 

I remember flipping through a book called (The Healing Light, possibly)
and the lady described how she first became aware of the light energy..
she sat under the sky and stared for a long time, and started to see
pulsating white things flying around in the sky. 

<snip>

The most meaningful light-related feelings seem to not relate to the
color, but rather to their occurrence on an expanded visual field, they
seem to reach me spritually when they, even on this expanded visual field,
wrap around me and seem to be entering me, but there they are just felt
and dont feel "seen" at all. 

Other peculiar visual things.. I have a very distinct light that I can
often catch slowly moving or shifting when I close my eye.  It is sort of
a ball, it feels spherical somehow.. maybe because of the coloring, it is
much like if you press your eyeball.. sort of a ball of green surrounded
by red maybe, it just seems to move with a little bit of "will".  I often
see it moving on the right edge of my visual field, down around to under
my eye.

<snip>

  And still often when I do manage to visualize colors or "be"
colors, it seems not very visual at all.. like I may still be aware of a
general blackness/nothingness, from which I consider the "concept" of blue
or red or whatever. 

As for the fractals and stuff.. I have experienced lots of that, very
directly visual-feeling, many green and vegetative, also some
flame-related.  it is interesting how fractals occur, how closely related
it is to feedback patterns.  One of the key things which happens in
meditation, seems to be neurological feedback, and the most key one seems
to be awareness of awareness, self-reference (the essence of fractals), I
think we reach centers of a very tightly cycling simple thought or
non-thought and this is what enables bliss.. also this extremely tight
cycle or oscillation, electrical in nature, seems very suggestive of
light, of the possibility of recieving or producing light. 

**********
Not long ago somebody somewhere through so-me media of exchange said there
were basically three basic, reliable natural sources of light. The Sun,
fire, and lightening. Then they offered a fourth source of natural light,
and that is the light produced in the dream state. I suspect that what
people see in their chakras and such has this source. I don't gnow this for
sure, and for sure I don't care. As long as it's there for me I accept it
with so-me gratitude, but even that in an attempt to be politically correct
with whatever powers that be. I never gnow for sure. ;-)

One of my most me-more-able dream/visions had me walking on what seemed to
be some dark, distant  place that reminded me of the salt flats in Utah.
Abrupt knolls and hills broke through the wide flat ground and seemed like
lonely shadow islands stark against the purple glow of the moonless night.

The surface I was walking on had a dark thin crust on it. Each step I took
broke through the crust and my foot made a depression through that crust
like crunching through ice-covered snow. Beneath that dark crust was a
softer material that glowed with a golden light. It glowed beautifully
beneath that dark crust, and seemed alive.

Then, I leaped into the air and began to fly at about six foot above the
ground. I circled around and looked at my golden footprints and traced them
back to where I started walking... and they ended in nothingness.

Suddenly,  in my confusion, I was enveloped in this brilliant, radiant white
light that produced an ecstasy of indescribable wonderment.

End

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