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Tales of Awakening

  These personal experiences are posted with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited.

Patti

   

Fri, 07 Jun 1996 07:21:39

   Hi everyone. My name is Patti and I have been enjoying reading the posts to this list alot.
    11 years ago I had a spontaneous full body kundalini awakening.
    It started with a pain in my left foot, progressed to the pelvic area, where it stayed for about 3 weeks. Every symptom in the world: burning, ice, tingling, itching, goose bumps, fire, snake bites, tickling, electricity... you name it. I thought I had herpes, until it started going up my back, at which point I was checked for major diseases. Nothing. The pain and fear grew more intense. I would wake up and feel like I was plugged into a wall socket.
    I was alone. It freaked me out.
    Night sweats, and a sense of dying. Arms going numb. Prickly stuff flipping from one part of my body to another, seemingly at random. Way more symtoms than described here. Finally went through the crown of my head, where I had a near death experience. Went into the white light, all of that. I definitely emerged a new person, in present time, in love.
   
    It came down the front of me, stopped in my abdomen, about 6 weeks after the whole thing started. For the next 9 months it cycled so continuously through my body that it never stopped for a moment. After that, it became an occasional thing. Now (especially around my periods) I get terrible migraines, burning, strange bumps and blisters in my pelvic area
    (I have no STD's and no herpes), and strange, wild moods. My sex drive is very high.
   
    I changed dramatically as a result of the awakening.
    I found love. I became very popular without trying and very eager to live life fully in every second. I didn't find out about kundalini for 3 years. I was so relieved. At least then I knew I wasn't going to die and didn't have a contagious disease. Just knowing what was going on has been a great blessing.
   
    I enjoy this group a lot already. I related to the person who said that when he feels his symtoms, he pauses to appreciate the kundalini, for that is what I do. (Appreciation makes more sense than fear, which is what I might feel otherwise.) We might as well, it is here for good as far as I know. It brings havoc on one level, but also great consciousness of love and compassion and healing.
   
    I would like to know how to deal with my migraines, which seem to be getting worse and worse over time. I am reluctant to take drugs to prevent them, for I have heard that resisted kundalini is far more dangerous than when one lets it just do its thing. But, my migraines are so bad that at times I couldn't even be moved to be taken to an emergency room.
    Now with Imitrex and painkillers, I cope, but I have to keep telling my doctor something about what I am doing about this situation ....
   
    I am very heartened to communicate with others who have had experiences. I find we have the ability to "juice" each other in a positive way very quickly. At least that is what I have discovered in person.
   
    As for spirit, I am involved with Tantra.
    I practice extended orgasm with my partner, often for an hour a day. It is something that brings me into the light any time I want. TO me, to have that (going ito the light) as an option is the greatest miracle of all.
   
    Thanks everyone for listening. THIs is the first time I have ever posted to a group. I hope to get to know you all.
    Love, Patti
   
   

Sat, 08 Jun 1996 21:45:51

Subject: Heart opening and boundaries.
   
    I was moved much by Melissa's letter about the trials of opening the heart. I find that I attract people towards me, almost in a way where it feels like I can't help it. When I am with people, my heart is open and loving...even if I didn't want to see them necessarily. I start seeing inside them when I am in their presence and finding things to love and enjoy.
    This has taken a toll on my time. THere are too many people who want this kind of unconditional love and I have found my self retreating more and more also.
   
    Now I am going to take a risk. I don't want to sound like an egomaniac. In fact I believe ego is dangerous to kundalini, very dangerous. So here goes: in the 11 years since my awakening, I feel that I am now 11 years old. When I was "born", I didn't know too much except how to give and receive love.
    But in time, I am growing older and I feel that
    my powers of intellect and creativity are powerfully accelerating. The result is that I find most people can't keep up wtih me.
    I started reading great authors and philosophers because they kept me better and more interesting company. Then I started writing (though I had never written before). In 3 months I had written 2 really outrageous fairy tales (100 paages each.)
    In another 3 months I wrote a how-to book on relationship (300 pages).
    (I had been teaching Tantra-based information on relationship and sensuality and communication before writing). I am editing that now and planning to self-publish.
    My point: At least I can talk to myself at a rapid pace, and don't have to slow down. My mind goes faster and faster.
   
    I still am the same, in terms of the sense of loving others, though in 11 years I have had to learn a whole lot about boundaries.
    A newborn has no boundaries, and they are necessary. I too got burned out without boundaries. More and more I wish to direct my loving energy into writing, where I feel I have control over the timing and the boundaries. I can set up and maintain the best feeling sense of balance between relating to others and taking care of myself.
    I am lucky to have a brilliant husband and a brilliant roommate-friend. I want to spend more and more time alone, writing, and on the internet, where my mind can sail at its own natural pace. I want to learn how to teach in VRML (Virtual Reality Modeling Language)right now and have been studying teaching on-line. I think the internet is perfect for us kundalini people. In fact, this may be a major way that we shift the consciousness of the planet.
   
    THanks all for listening and sharing.
    This group has given me great joy and I appreciate it tremendously. Right now I am having real problems with massive migraines and to know that I am not alone ...just knowing there are others out there brings tears of gratitude to my eyes.
    All love, Patti
   



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