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Tales of AwakeningThese personal experiences are posted with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited.
Hello boys and girls...
I am Frans Storms from Nijmegen, Holland, 46. There's so much traffic on this list that i have trouble keeping up with it. And i would want to write something too, i'm glad i had some of what follows already on paper. All kinds of feelings have gone trough me while reading: relief, excitement, satisfaction, recognition.
Also envy, jealousy, irritation, anoyment. Almost like being married.
It started about 20 years ago. I was having problems with my wife, with my study, with life. A mindblowing dream uprooted everything. My rather rational way of thinking didn't survive the blow. I abandoned my study, philosophy, started working and devoted my time to the 'higher science' of dreaming. I also went on the outlook of a 'guru', as some 'strange things' happened to me. And so I became a disciple of Bhagwan in 1980. Getting initiated by him was an experience.
I still owe him a lot. He put me back on the ground again.
Nowadays those strange things would all be called kundalini-symptoms.
But for myself i didn't have a faint idea. I also enjoyed a time of severe 'inflation'.
A feeling of power and knowledge. Sentences would flow abundantly out of my hand, i would sweat while writing. I thought i could see through people giving them unasked advice and lectures, as bullets from a shotgun.
Together with my naybour(!) and friend i started a dream-group. We put an advertisement in a local paper. In those days that was news in Holland and so i ended up on the front page of a big paper, on a monday :) Somehow i am reminded of that group. There's the same gathering of strange people making my heart beat faster. The same sharing of almost untold experiences.
There's something beautiful beyond words in that gathering. I hope we are not going to suffer from the drive for power and domination we had to cope with...
anyway it was worth it.
Years went by. My daughter was born in 1983. Occasionally I tried a meditation but somehow it didn't work out. 2 years ago I stumbled upon a simple technique which appealed immediately. In the beginning I felt the same as when I got initiated by Bhagwan. One night, doing my meditation, my head felt like melting. As if it was a candle slowly burning down, very enjoyable.
Then I had a short, faint, vision of myself. At the same time it was as if I heard a soft sound like that of bees. A muscle in the region around my anus contracted and I felt something like a wind going out of my head. That was all.
But in the days later on I noticed that something was going on, and still is. The 'wind' is slowly becominging stronger, nowadays it's there all the time. Sometimes when I feel a certain kind of muscular contraction in the area between the anus and the testicles I know a new 'shipment' is on it's way.
I don't feel anything coming up the spine, i feel it directly in the head, going out through the top of the skull. Sometimes it's a little painful, as the form of my skull started changing I got insecure. It often feels like a hump on the head. Reading Bonnie Greenwell (Energies of Transformation) made me fear the worst. I had read the book of Gopi Krishna (The Awakening of Kundalini) a long time ago, but rereading it I recognized a lot. In my case it's not the thunder, lightning and ectasy thing.
'Still no Sign of Miraculous Psychic Powers', as Gopi K. would say.
Ok, i'll stop right here, don't know what to say, have a nice sunday,
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