To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/08/17 19:41
Subject: Re: [K-list] Sharing (was Meditation)
From: Druout
On 2003/08/17 19:41, Druout posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 8/16/2003 6:25:42 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
tarnie7 AT_NOSPAM optusnet.com.au writes:
>Thanks. I thought it was. I've been a bit dissappointed with the response
>to it though.
Dear Julie,
It's always interesting what catches here and what doesn't. :)) It's usually
a question of timing rather than the question itself--and the timing is a
mystery!
>Yoga is a very balanced form I think. K takes over at night for me to
>although I don't seem to have much Kriya activity any more. It's more like
>a gentle rythmic rocking rather than hanging off the bed or contortion. I
>like the interpretation that the thought mechanisms break down, I haven't
>thought of it in this way before.
Yeah. We seem to have had similar experiences in that sense. Mine has
calmed down a lot, too--but I find it's also cyclical.
It seems that those with autism and schizophrenia have a similar
breakdown--it's as though the brain filtering mechanism malfunctions. (or one could say
they function at an optimum level! that it's the "ego" that just can't handle
it! :)) )
"But in the case of schizophrenia, the screens fail to do their job properly.
They are to a greater or lesser extent disabled and allow too much data
through into consciousness."
from: http://www.ahiddenplace.co.uk/twindatastream/scibytes.htm
and for those academically inclined and interested in more brain stuff:
http://courses.ucsd.edu/jpineda/cogs175/index_files%5Cexam1_answer_key.htm
and
http://www.ahiddenplace.co.uk/twindatastream/
>I don't think we are in control either. I do think that we can co-operate
>with the process or fight with it though. There is a lot of psychological
>writing that compares states of schizophrenia with mystical states.
Yes! There seems to be a somewhat thin line. It's been said, though, as
your quote from Graf also indicates, that K-ites who find themselves in mental
hospitals can tell the difference between those who are mad and those who are
mystics! Perhaps it's simply one of degree-- we k-ites usually can retain some
sense of remaining grounded--or perhaps it's how we interpret our "symptoms."
Or, as you say, whether we fight or surrender to it all.
Many, if not most of k active people on the list have felt at one time or
another that they might be going mad--myself included. In my case I simply
didn't care! :))
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/polls/po_mad.html
><snip> I think it was in one of Grof's books that quoted a psychiatric
patient as >making a statement concerning those that are "turned on and far out"
as opposed >to those who are just crazy. The thought of this just horrifies me
and makes me >wonder what would have occurred if I had of revealed my
experience. Perhaps >are good reasons for paranoia sometimes.
Well, there are those who did just that and ended up in mental hospitals.
Usually, fortunately, their stay has been short-lived. However, that said, I
think it wise to be careful in how much or to whom we reveal our experiences.
The medical establishment is not educated enough yet on mystical experiences vs
schizophrenia.
>For me, Kundalini awakening was an incredible shock. <snip>, it
>only took about two weeks before I was using every means that I could think
>of to control it and stop it. I had very grave fears for my sanity
Yeah! that's what causes most of the problems with K--fear and the resulting
desire to fight it! In this culture madness/mysticism is treated with such
fear and contempt--unlike in some other cultures where shamen/mystics are
accepted and honored.
> I was
>literally burning in hell.
Interesting metaphor to the heat some of us experience. My heat flashes are
never severe, so I see them like fever--burning off poisons of one sort or
another. When they are extreme it's obviously more difficult to accept them.
> I was also experiencing archetypal
>events like crucifixion and giving birth in a bodily way. Kundalini took
>over my physiological process in order to keep the process going or I
>believed it did, which is really the same thing anyway. Yet I knew that I
>was more alive than I had ever been and I didn't want to return to the state
>prior to the awakening. I wanted the presence without the energy.
:)) We often have very mixed feelings about being awakened. Most are
ultimately thankful for the process.
><snip>
>the words this presence was saying through her. After that I started to
>cooperate although I think there was still a lot of resistence being
>expressed through me. My conscious intention though was surrender.
Lucky to have had a friend. She just allowed you to feel less afraid.
>During
>this year I was operating under the delusion that I was controlling the
>energy by my extreme workouts. Now what I think was happening was K wanted
>me to get really fit and I was doing exactly as it wanted. I could think
>whatever I liked!
LOLOL! Absolutely! I think having the body fit is a K priority! But in a
sense you are controlling it by keeping the energy flowing smoothly.
> I feel I need feedback though. I'd
>really like to know how what I say affects you and where our similarities
>and differences in undergoing this process lie.
Well, I think our experiences are very similar except that you went through a
period of trying to fight it. Your physical symptoms were also more extreme,
which made it more frightening. I had more positive feedback. We all
experience the mystical part somewhat differently.
> I have contented myself
>with reading for so long and I have felt very much alone in these
>experiences. If you could find it in your hearts to engage in an
>interactive process with me about these things I would be so grateful.
That's what the list is for! After years of hearing many similar
experiences, there is an acceptance that becomes a silence. People on the list say to
themselves, "I've been there" but don't feel the need to actually respond.
There is a vibration to this list from all the lurkers that seems send out silent
support.
>Hillary, thank you for responding to my post. I deeply appreciate your
>commitment to the list and your responses to virtually all of the posts.
>Your knowledge, resources and warmth are incredibly nurturing and provide
>the list with a wonderful, gentle strength.
thank you! Just giving back a little of what the list has given me over the
years. :))
Love, Hillary
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