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To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/02/15 21:36
Subject: Re: [K-list] k-list] Psychopomps AT_NOSPAM Dean
From: mundane zen


On 2003/02/15 21:36, mundane zen posted thus to the K-list:

Dear Dean,


>... During that brief moment I was aware of what I would call the non-
>existence of "myself" ( if that makes sense). In its place, I >experienced
>a total and utter freedom or abandonment. There was no >thinking or
>conception of time and space.-- The whole experience did >not register with
>my memory until I became aware of my physical >presence.


This is an interesting difference. It seems you completely "crossed over"
-- transcended the ego. In that samadhi state, I could sense this
transcendental consciousness and my inner body-attached ego-self
simultaneously. I had also stopped thinking (and breathing), but I was
aware of this inner and outer self.


>Metaphorically, I felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted >off of
>my shoulders. After the experience, I became acutely aware of >my so-called
>"little" self and ego as a heavy burden; I realized it >was a form of
>suffering in itself. This concerned me, as I felt
>that everybody was carrying around the same burden as myself... I felt >so
>sad.


Yes, I also felt this lightening of the burden of being. It's like you
suddenly realize who you really are, and you want to share it with everyone.
  Unfortunately, it seems that each individual has to experience it directly
to understand.
>Do you think craving is intrinsic to bliss? I desire the same thing
>from my meditation. However, paradoxically, when I had the sense of >ego or
>"self" drop away in meditation; there was no craving whatsoever.


I agree. When you're in that state of bliss you feel completely content.
However, afterwards I developed a craving to return to that state, and often
became disappointed when I didn't achieve it. Perhaps it's a form of grace
-- when it comes it comes. The paradox is that the more you crave it, the
further away it becomes -- like a chinese finger puzzle.
>I Agree. How can inanimate objects ever be sentience?


I feel that this field of consciousness is everywhere, yet it takes a
certain type of "machine" (like the human body) for it to manifest in the
physical realm.
>Imo, The brain cannot exist without consciousness. The brain would be
> >inert matter. Without consciousness, it would be literally be, "brain"
> >dead.


or "dead meat" :)
>Yes, I agree that our Self is truly transcendent. My understanding of >the
>ego is that it is purely a defense mechanism. Its sole purpose is >to
>survive in this life; in and of itself, it is purely instrumental >in
>protecting the physical animal.


That makes sense. The ego maintains the separate self, which is associated
with the physical body, but it also gets in the way of realizing the big
universal Self.
>... Have you ever noticed how much small children are (with such >beautiful
>innocence) totally unaware of danger. They don't even >understand the
>concept of pain and suffering until they come into >contact with it.


I think that's true to a limited extent. Even infants have certain
instinctual fears, such as, the fear of falling, loud noises, etc. As soon
as there's a body, there are certain basic fears and instincts. Now this
raises an interesting point, namely, the difference between instinctual
reactions and conscious action -- but that's a deep subject :) I'd better
not go off on the subject of free will and all that.
>Could it be that their awareness is grounded in their pure >(unsuffering)
>Nature? Could it be that they are "that" which
>only knows perfection before suffering. Perhaps their "ego" is only >born
>when they have a taste of suffering, and that for the rest of >their lives
>they manifest ego to prevent further suffering. -- >Interstesting question,
>yeah?


Very interesting idea!
>Thanks for your time and energy Ken, you are much appreciated.


Thank-you too!


Peace and Love,

ken

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