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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/31 22:42
Subject: [K-list] Facing Truth
From: HSV & AAL


On 2002/10/31 22:42, HSV & AAL posted thus to the K-list:

> For Lisa the alternative to feeling we were being unkind was to realize Angelique was
correct in her assessment of her. The truth can often be simply too hard to bear!

** I can't tell you how much fact is wrapped up in that sentence.
Swallowing one's built-up pride is akin to swallowing diamonds.
I'm still having a very hard time of it, but I'd rather face up
to it and own it than waste (not waist *chuckle*) my precious
time on lies and deception. I can't be me and love me until I
know me... it just makes perfect sense. I almost feel like I'm
in AA or something:

I am a manipulator.
I am lazy.
I am passive aggressive.
I lie to myself, and hence, others.
I allow myself to depend on others because it's easier than
doing it on my own.
I am selfish.
I am insecure.
I am prideful
I am egotistical.
I am afraid.
I am envious.
I am a leech.Yet at the same time:

I am intelligent.
I am beautiful (still having a hard time with that one).
I am eccentric.
I am determined.
I am insightful.
I am intuitive.
I am empathic.
I am compassionate.
I am benevolent.
I am cunning and resourceful (as Master used to say).
I am sensual.
I am sexual.
I am immodest.
I have courage.
I am honest.
I am musical.
I am feminine.
I am masculine.
I am willing and eager to learn.
I am appreciative of what I have.
I am the mother and teacher of a brilliant young man.
I am intriguing.
I am memorable.
I am original.
I am deserving of love, honesty, and respect.
I am grateful for the experiences I've had in my life,
both euphoric and traumatic, positive and negative.
I love nature, not as a pretty backdrop or lesser form of
life, but as a beautiful, inseperable, important part
of our world.
I share all of myself with everyone without shame or fear.
I believe in the power of loving warmth & delicate balance.

Hey, look at that. I was able to remember a LOT of good
qualities. I usually have the problem of a longer list of
negatives than positives. The truth is truly healing. But
also exhausting. =) I've gotta hit the hay now. Darnit,
I wanted to try my first meditation tonight. Well, there
is always tomorrow.

*hugs and slurps all around*

Holly2

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