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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/29 01:50
Subject: [K-list] Manipulative, Drama-Queen Martyr
From: HSV & AAL


On 2002/10/29 01:50, HSV & AAL posted thus to the K-list:

> My good mood is more important than a new member
> getting giddy and acting out.

** Do you truly feel this way or are -you- acting out?
Is a veteran member any more or less important than a
new one? Strange how I got the impression that the
whole idea was to become one with everything and see
everything for what it is... an important part of the
whole. Do you have some work to do?

> Good heavens, if email was enough to set me off, I'd never have a
> moment's peace! I get a few hundred emails, most days... You should SEE
> some of the bizarre crap people send to my domin8rex.com website!

** Then why respond to mine?

> I smile and add their IP address to a
> file that blocks them from visiting again. Gives me great satisfaction, a
> nice warm feeling in my power chakra to quietly shut the door on them.
> heehee hee!

** Hello, Ego, my old friend...

> Any anger you felt, is your own. Don't be projecting it onto me, I
> don't want it. Keep it or surrender it, as you please. You want to hang
> onto it, I guess. Cannot imagine why... (shrug) your drama.

** I have a feeling you need to dig a little deeper. But that's
just my opinion.

> Yup and Hillary already posted saying how silly it is to get worked up
> thinking someone needs defending. So you go off and do it anyway. Well...
> whatever floats your boat... :)

** Tis true, but it was how I felt at the time and at least -I- was
honest about it. But... whatever floats -your- boat.

> If you really feel that way, then you would be dancing naked in the
> streets because clothes hide the truth of your nakedness. There is purpose
> in privacy.
> I think, the truth is you like the attention and the drama... you know
> this kind of behavior is detrimental to your health, but you do it anyway.
> Go figger...

** But going outside naked was not a subject I was dealing with at
that time. Hey, I've known for years that I like attention and
drama. I know quite a lot about myself that you probably don't.
But it's just part of me, and aren't I supposed to love ALL of me?
Several people on this list have said so. Ya know what? I love
me. But it doesn't sound like you love all of you.

> Your post is not vulnerable, it is aggressive. A manipulation game. You
> project your own emotions onto me, then use that, and "honesty" as an
> excuse to post to the list all about how you think I am this and that...
> setting yourself up as some kind of martyr hero. I did not ask for your
> submission. Joyce did not ask for your defense. Defending her is projecting
> weakness and need onto her. Whom does it serve?

** No, Ma'am. My post -was- vulnerable... because I opened my heart
and mind, admitted honestly what I was feeling inside, admitting
that my motives were probably not pure, and admitted that I needed
to make those things public rather than hiding them within and making
excuses to myself about them as most people do.

** No, Ma'am. I did -NOT- submit myself to you. I don't even know
you. I am quite happy with my own submissive nature. It used to
be a source of embarassment and guilt many many years ago.
Thankfully I found someone who was able to teach me that there was
no shame in it since it was merely part of my own nature, and
allowed me to show that side of myself without judgement. But I
don't think you're that comfortable with yours. Indeed you seem the
most defensive on that topic, more than I've seen you be before. I
believe it's -you- projecting emotions.

** You think your post to Joyce was not angry and agressive? Do
you think your post to me isn't? Strange, there seems quite a
lot of bite and sting in the post to me. Where do those things
come from again? I don't think they come from Love...

** Be assured, Mystress, I'm going to be who I am, regardless of
anyone else anywhere in the world. But I try never to be malicious
and hurtful. I learned these traits when I was a child, and I hope
they stay with me until the day I die. Now, if I am having a harm-
ful effect to the people of this list, I would respectfully leave
because the purpose of this list isn't to cause harm and I don't
want to push away people who are in crisis. You can call this a
manipulative, self-serving, aggressive, martyr-ish ploy. That is
your perogative to think so. However, my offer is genuine.

In nature and knowledge,

Holly2

spam deletedPZMC/kTmEAA/jd3IAA/AtTslB/TM

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