To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/20 03:10
Subject: [K-list] Kristy's 2nd fear rant
From: Stormymouse :P
On 2002/07/20 03:10, Stormymouse :P posted thus to the K-list:
You all will be pretty sick of me soon but I am having a hard time right now :( very hard I am trying so hard to take all of your advice and not fear. But fear is consuming me I get calmed and my solar plexus starts up again. I am releasing sooo much fear I can hardly take it I feel as though Im on the edge I am so scared right now I dont know how much more I can take. I question my sanity right now it wont stop I just want a break and it gets in my head I am trying to calm myself but the things I am releasing are almost too much for the first time in ages I wanted to end things but I wont, I cant I will keep going I WILL. God please help me, please give me a break I beg you. I dont know if I can handle releasing some of the things that are coming up right now these are things I wasnt prepared for I feel they are so large larger than anything I have come up against yet. I am so scared this is my whole ego my whole inner child wanting to come out and I dont know how to face these things they have ran my life for so long now. I am soooo scared right now Ugh. I feel as though I have been in a fight I ache all over my solar plexus and heart chakra are so uncomfortable and achey I feel so many blocks in them. Is this my fault? I started bringing this stuff up to heal and now it just keeps coming so fast I feel the energy flowing through my body my tailbone is so warm the K is consuming me. I feel like I could suffocate like I am trapped inside of my body. I just want to learn to let go and release it, why is it so hard? Why? I am fighting myself and I pray it doenst get any harder I want it to get better I want a break :( I am crying I never cry I dont know what else to do. I will make it I know that but I pray I will gain my strenght back soon cuz it is so damn hard it really is. I just want to be strong but my whole life I have wanted to be babied I have been so fearful and now I have to be strong all by myself, am I ready for this? Dont worry all I will be ok but I really needed to release all this right now. Hubby is off for the weekend so I will have help and I will try my hardest to get through this by Monday and I know that means to be strong and not flip out. OK here goes guess I'll go back and lay down for a while and try to release calmly. I already feel better again and am ready to move on I suppose. Please dont let this freak anyone out if you are new to K cuz I have tons of issues to work through and I know panic stories can look bad but it is just my weaknesses coming out.
Love and Light
Kristy (is it normal for the aching in the really active chakras)
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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