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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/09 12:26
Subject: Re: [K-list] Psychic Pain
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent


On 2002/07/09 12:26, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:

At 10:44 AM 09/07/02, Paul Perner wrote:
>That was a whopper of a post.

    Yeah...

>Thanks for reminding me that I'm among
>other human beings like my self. We're not
>just a bunch blips on the computer screen.

    I don't think you ever need reminding... :)

>Mystress, whenever I hear this song, I'll think
>you, El and everybody on this list who finally
>let the dam break. Count me among the mortals
>who are not immune to pain and tears.

    El once told me that I am the most passionate person she ever met.

    Hmm.. I kind of scratched my head at that, at first... I consider
myself to have a very limited emotional range, compared to most people...
like a grey alien in a human body... many have seen me morph into one.
    My ADD knocks me into the Witness state whenever there is emotional
intensity.. which is a mercy, for one so empathic. Tho there is a downside
of emotions being so much harder to release... but gradually I came to
understand what she saw.
I care too much. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Passion is at the root of
compassion, and it is the opposite of detachment. Unconditional love is
better, no conditions, witness state peace... but I incarnated human, to be
human. So... I make art.

My spiritual goal, these past years since my ascension has been
"passionate detachment". Playing full out, fully human while not forgetting
it is a game. Illusion.

>Some modern spiritual schools are always trying to
>negate pain. They ignore it, deny it, avoid it, patch it
>over or declare it as something wrong. Only the
>bravest will process it.... or, I dare say, embrace it
>and use it for transformation.

There is a story of a Master... The young son of one of his devotees
died, and the Master grieved and wept. His seeker asked him "why are you
crying, if life is illusion?"
    The master said "this, is a very sad illusion."

Passionate detachment. Playing full out.

>You are bold and brave, Mystress.

    Do you think so? You see yourself, reflected? I don't feel bold and
brave. It took me a week to send that post. Not able to be vulnerable till
most of the processing was past. I feel frayed like an old dishrag,
cowardly for my ADD breaker switch that is a bungee cord out of the
emotional world, leaving me unable to cry... even as I see perfection in it.

>Rock on!
>
>Paul

    :Love you, Paul the savior to awakened 12 step people... doing work
that I could not. Their pain is too much.

>(now I could use that hankie... seriously)

    only tears, let them fall...

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