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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/06 11:52
Subject: Re: [K-list] RE: What sort of child Poll
From: KRISTENA \(:


On 2002/05/06 11:52, KRISTENA \(: posted thus to the K-list:

Hello all! Ok what kind of child was I?
If you were to ask my parents they would say the most difficult confusing child in the world. Now from my point of view, I was soooooo overly shy and insecure from the beginning I was so shy I couldnt even converse or show affection to my parents they thought there was something wrong with me and asked me many time why I couldnt be like my brothers and sisters. I know they loved but they just didnt know how to deal with me I was so different so to say the least they were very hard on me which didnt help by any means I couldnt talk to anyone or ask ?'s without feeling frightened. I was terrified of having to lead or do something by myself and was never able to follow directions without feeling lost I could have something explained to me a thousand times and still not really understand. I hated my childhood when I reached my teenage years all my fears turned to anger and I (even know I was still incredibly shy) found some older friends (I could always relate to them better) and really rebelled I was skipping school alot and staying out till all hours but even as a child I played sick alot to stay home. I have always been somewhat of a loner. But in my teenage years I was suicidal and I hated everyone especially my parents I know now deep down I just hated them becuase I wanted help but they chose to ignore it. I had such deep fears that I started having panic attacks when I was in early childhood I had to go to the doctor for this and they didnt really do anything for it back then though just kind of ignored it. I am very much a hermit now lol and I am still very shy but am sooooo much different I am really working on healing myself most people would never guess about my childhood. I believe that my early problems relate alot to my past life I have had several visions of being a hated abused child that was stabbed to death at a young age( sounds terrible but I have relived it in many nightmares and visions so had to bring it up) . I feel pretty confident that something past related has caused all this and now my spirit has had so many traumas that it is ready to cleanse itself.

Love and Light
Kristena


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