To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/04/23 06:08
Subject: [K-list] El Collie Tribute: I survived Y2K (sort of)
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent

>To: kundaliniATnospamtopica.com
>From: ckressATnospamaol.com
>Subject: [K-list] I survived Y2K (sort of)
>Date: Sun, 09 Jan 2000 12:28:01 -0800
>Reply-To: ckressATnospamaol.com
>X-Loop: 700002663
>
>Are we still on topica? I've really been in the ozone for the past couple of
>weeks. On Christmas day '99, an infection I'd noticed a few days earlier (on
>my upper thigh) had become much more swollen and scary-looking. After
>several days of natural remedies failed to improve my condition, I saw an
>M.D. From this experience I discovered that I am now allergic to the general
>spectrum of antibiotics (penicillins, cephalosporins, erythromycins) that are
>considered generally nontoxic (there are others which are so dangerous they
>can practically kill you if you look at them -- fat chance I could tolerate
>those!). So while everyone else rolled into Y2K without mishap, my bio-clock
>rolled back to 1900, pre-advent of antibiotics. A freaky revelation...
>
>I've been knocked out from the infection (if that's what it really was) and
>the aftermath of my antibiotic meltdown ever since, although each day I feel
>a bit better. Last night the whole episode worked itself into a poem, which
>I have posted below.
>
>Love,
>El
>.........................................
>
>INSEMINATION
>by El Collie
>
>The swelling on my thigh was inflamed,
>"an angry infection" I told myself,
>wondering if the expression held true
>or was merely cliche'.
>Clearly, something is pushing the boundaries,
>a miscreant pregnancy like Athena
>erupting from the head of Zeus.
>
>Strangely, it didn't hurt until after the doctor
>probed and pinched and squeezed so hard
>his waxy gloved hands shook from the effort.
>Nothing either fair nor foul came forth.
>He was puzzled, muttered something about
>a possible herniation and prescribed Keflex,
>a close cousin of penicillin that stank
>like rotting gym socks
>and slowly poisoned my whole system --
>delayed allergic reaction.
>Nausea, aching all over, and most awful
>thundering heart racing in my chest for hours
>on end, accompanied by a sense of impending doom
>(which I reminded myself over and over
>was only adrenaline-biochemical pseudo-fear).
>
>I quit all meds but tasted rotten gym socks
>and stayed deliriously sick
>for another week. Now the inflammation is
>nearly gone, but the leg still defiantly swollen.
>This baby refuses to be aborted.
>My husband worries over me,
>glances at me with eyes brimming pain,
>his face so utterly holy
>and raggedly human,
>bleeding love towards me
>with radiantly sad eyes.
>
>I complain of how alienated I feel
>from everyone but him, my sad-eyed savior
>who is glad I'm complaining about the world again;
>it means I'm on the mend.
>He is reading a biography of Kurosawa.
>Kurosawa's films, he tells me,
>hinge on the observation that most people
>are driven by evil, amorality or stupidity --
>and it's hard to say which of the three
>generate the most harm.
>I wonder aloud if there is something
>about being incarnate
>that brings out the worst in a soul,
>or if the worst souls are the ones
>who incarnate.
>
>"What can you expect," he asks, "in Kali Yuga?"
>
>Even the darkness longs to be born somewhere...
>like this mystery inception on my leg?
>Am I Lileth, mother of demons?
>How can I carry this shark-toothed child
>who threatens to devour everything I love?
>How do I make peace with the flesh
>that hosts such wickedness?
>Evil, amoral and stupid:
>the soul-sickness of my species.
>How do I co-exist with that?
>
>My husband glances at me, his eyes
>so bright.
>This is how:
>By the light that outshines the pain:
>Radiant,
>Radiant
>Holy sadness.
>
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