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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/04/21 18:36
Subject: Re: [K-list] Farewell to a friend.
From: percyval


On 2002/04/21 18:36, percyval posted thus to the K-list:

----- Original Message -----
From: "Mystress Angelique Serpent" <mystressATnospamfire-serpent.com>

> It is with great sadness that I report the passing of El Collie.
> (snip)
> She was a great spirit, wise, generous and compassionate. She gave
> much of the last decade of her life promoting awareness of the Kundalini
> process and helping other awakened people in difficulty, even tho her
> own life and process was marked with chronic pain and illness. Yet, she
> rarely mentioned her difficulties, and her sharing on this list was often
> very humorous as well as insightful.

El was very special to me, as she spoke for many of us whose unexplainable
chronic illness has remained, or has even gotten worse, after our Kundalini
Awakening...

it is easy for us to fall into feeling that our illlness means that there is
something spiritually wrong with us... and there are so many voices from
those blessed with good health who sometimes use this as a way of making
their point, that our illness is a sign that their way is better than
ours... kind of remniscent of Calvinism... El was an aggressive warrior
against this type of attitude... and i love her so much for this, and am so
grateful to her...

El has helped me to feel my perfection despite my chronic illness... so
please humor me as i express some of the compassionate anger that was one
side of El that few would ever mention in remembrance of her...

this one's for you, El:

FUCK YOU!
*smiling kindly, as a tear falls*

(for those who don't get this inside joke, i am including an old
controversial post of mine, along with the post by El that inspired it...
see below...)

lovingly,

percyval

---- To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/17 06:42
Subject: Re: [K-list] Wound-ology
From: Ckress (El Collie)

On 2000/06/17 06:42, Ckress posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 06/16/2000 7:39:02 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
mrstoast writes:

<< "Wound-ology" is a Carolyn Myss term for the perpetual state of
 victimhood that our "self-help" society has nurtured. People become
 so caught up in the process of "healing" that they are reluctant to
 let go of their life's traumas, and instead cling to them as a
 definition of self. >>

Yes, I'm familiar with Myss's use of the term. She applies it to people
whose entire identity revolves around some past trauma, as in "I'm an incest
survivor." She says these people can't even talk about the weather without
inserting their "wound" into the conversation. I.e., "Looks like it's going
to rain, like it did the day my uncle first molested me."

W. and his mystery friend have altered the meaning to apply it to me (and by
extension, to anyone else in a similar predicament) with my current health
difficulties and my mention of them on the list. Neither I nor most others
here who have chronic/serious health problems fall into Myss's category of
"Poor me, I can't stop obsessing over something that happened to me long
ago, so everyone must regard me as special and more fragile than any of
you."

Speaking openly and honestly about here-and-now lingering physical
illness/pain is shunned in just about every social strata. There is
tremendous resistance to the idea that people with long term physically
painful conditions can be nonetheless psychologically and spiritually
healthy. If the body isn't functioning well and feeling good (or isn't felt
at all), the inner person is judged as somehow defective. I found this view
pernicious long before I lost my own physical health. All my life I've had
friends who had extreme physical disabilities or illnesses. Some of them
(not all) were exceptionally mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong
and resilient people.

If I seem to harp on this cause, it's because I'm experientially qualified
to address it and because people like W. take every opportunity to
overtly or subtly gloat: "Nananana, I'm healthy and you're not, so you're
a loser!" Anyone with a chronic health condition has run up against this
kind of ignorance. It can be as demoralizing as trying to cope with the
illness itself.

If I were the only one dealing with the crap of being sick and being a
pariah because of it, I would never have mentioned it here. But since I know
this is an issue impacting many besides myself, I have continued to stick my
neck out and take a verbal beating for it. And I continue to be encouraged
to
do so because I've received so much thanks (mostly from lurkers) when I
have spoken in advocacy for those of us who don't have the comfort or
luxury of physical well being.

El

---- To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/17 08:05
Subject: Re: [K-list] Wound-ology
From: percyval

On 2000/06/17 08:05, percyval posted thus to the K-list:

yes!!! thank you, El... my situation is similar to yours... although i am a
big fan of W.'s posts, and know that his intentions are to promote healing
and growth, it felt like a very unkind and also untrue post...

people with a chronic illness run into this situation of folks pulling out
the "i'm healthier than you, so i am doing something right that you are not"
card all too often... it is most commonly used as a subtle manipulation and
power game... and it is used most insidiously by those whose intentions are
to be helpful...

so i must add one thing to El's post:

a big FUCK YOU!!! to all who would like to use their good health as a sign
from God-dess of their own rightness... be careful you don't tempt the fates
to put you on the other side of that game...

percyval


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