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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/04/06 16:59
Subject: RE: [K-list] looking through things
From: Rich


On 2002/04/06 16:59, Rich posted thus to the K-list:

[Jaw drops].... Oh!

I feel as if I have intruded - please excuse me!

> You cannot heal the physical from the spiritual, you have to be
in your
> body to feel the nuances of the body responding to empathy and broken
> boundaries. Free Will is Goddess Law, there is no breaking the rules
and
> the result of the attempt is karma. The Witness, gives the insights
the ego
> needs to surrender.

This is it totally! Thank you! I cannot surrender ego whilst acting
through it... I cannot resolve karma by thinking about it ... figure,
figure, figure... doesn't get me anywhere. Later.... I think you just
planted a seed in me to write an essay on identities... I'll post it to
the list sometime whenever that might be.

> When I write, channelling for people, I spend hours looking from
> the Witness and transmitting what I see through typing fingers...
and it
> is when I am done, that I come back to feeling the body and
discovering it
> is stiff and sore eyes from being immobile staring at the computer
for hours.

I get the same typing lines of computer code (LOL) ...... I'm totally
engrossed in it to the point where time doesn't seem to exist anymore -
I forget about the rest of me! However I don't think I could be further
from 'the Witness' state - almost like opposite ends of the spectrum -
one completely engrossed - the other completely detached.

> Not surprisingly, I am finding myself less willing to abandon my
body to
> serve the needs of other people. This attitude has made quite a dent
in my
> healing business, but that makes me giggle. I have been led to do so
many
> different things in this lifetime, who knows what comes next? Goddess
has
> it handled. My focus is on serving Her within Me by being in my body
and
> following its bliss. Chop wood, carry water, make soap and cement mud
pies.
> Bliss. Write fables about eternal mysteries while thinking about how
a
> certain far side cartoon is a reflection of the Cosmic joke. It is
very
> freeing.

Yes! I got the impression... Goddess hates to be tied down too long
LOL... Any longstanding restriction or control I have seemed to be
shaken up by k coming round to hit me later in some shape or form. For
me.... repetitive behaviours no matter how subtle seem to become
engrained in the body/mind forming habits - I need to be careful where I
allow my attention to stick and stay more present. Maybe this is part of
the process - to keep up and adapt with a moving target. To keep
surrendering all the time.

> Last Dec. I decided to attach to peace within myself instead of
playing
> hero to everybody's drama. Last Jan an aspect of myself decided peace
was
> boring, and left.

They almost seem like opposites.... If one is in total peace I don't
think it's possible to be bored (even an archetype) ..... Maybe you
stopped giving it the energy it wanted and it had to move on.

> Seems, for the past few weeks of months I have been "gone". I did
not
> quite grok how "absent" I have been till I came back, or woke up last
> Friday and empathic friends started telling me how much I have been
missed.
> huh?
>
> I have been talking to them almost every day, but I have been
immersed
> in webdesign... one track mind. A few people did mention that I
seemed not
> very present ... my druid commented that I seemed very aloof,
absent... but
> it seemed like perfection to me, so I did not give it any attention.
just
> not interested in analyzing it.

I feel a difference from you.... It feels like you have become emptiness
and not assuming a role. I don't know how grounded this is or if it is
some illusionary state..... I don't think that even matters anymore to
you right now. Like having a vacation from existing maybe :o)

> Heh, now that I stop to think about it, I got bored of the
archetypes
> drama about a month before she got bored of my peace. That thing with
you
> and Charles... was me finding out if I could play the game without
her, and
> what it would look like... and more importantly, whether I wanted to
keep
> that part of my inheritance.

I realised this later .... there was a lot going on behind the
scenes.... Charles created the platform for me to unwind off all this
stuff..... my behaviour was well out of order and out of line with my
usual character .... you certainly broke me free of a big illusion I was
caught up in..... I'm still extremely grateful and respectful of what
you did. As you say Goddess provides. The manifestations *are*
miraculous (but also should be let to pass).

> Don't like feeling people's karma and unconscious pain, but I am so I
might
> as well get back to work. Chop wood,....

Maybe there is something to be surrendered here also? I realised that
when I didn't want a presence it often seem to crop up more but when I
let it go and loved it then it did not matter... As the old saying
goes..... What you resist, persists....

> Who would want to live in the Witness? It is very peaceful but
without
> passion.
>
> Those statues of the fat buddha with his hands in the air, for
good
> luck... it is a shrug! He is going. "What the fuck?" Shrug, laugh,
don't
> care. No attachment, just wonder and laughing joy. What is, Is and it
is
> all amazing miracles. Even the tears and the pain are astonishing in
their
> beauty. Waaaay more fun than witness. Not forgetting it is a game,
KNOWing
> it is, and playing full out!

Isn't this part of the riddle why we got caught up in the physical I
wonder? We desire the experience of creations. The difficulty for most
is when we get too attached to things and we forget how to get out.

> I find it better not to pay much attention to that kind of stuff,
these
> days. Shrug, laugh, don't care.

Yep... the learning and the experiences can become further
attachments.... Great attitude!

> FST

I may do this one day.... It all sounds fantastic.... But, I don't feel
led to it right now....

Please come back and visit us in this reality from time to time and
don't go growing any alien tentacles :o) Actually what I really mean to
say is do as you will - that is your right!

Rich

You are right... I do think too much... It's a nasty habit :o) ... I'm
sure I'll kick the addiction one of these days! Been a bit of a geek
doesn't help but I *will* change my ways in time - I know I will - I can
feel it as much has changed already in this.

I reckon thinking is such a human thing - animals tend to move on much
quicker after an event whilst us humans sit and dwell on stuff. Okay I'm
thinking about this now - Stop it - Mind!

Right I don't think I'm going to spend quite so much time on this list
now either - off to go and *feel* some life for a change! Will see how
goddess directs me....

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