To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/16 19:59
Subject: [K-list] re: seeing our own faults in others then criticizing
From: Tracym

This may be a bit of a backward example, but here goes:

Recently, someone (who shall remain nameless) judged me, and I reacted.
I did not accept the judgement because it did not resonate within my own
awareness, and that is the only way being judged could be meaningful.
I reacted because I felt the judgement came quickly and cheaply, and that
it was wrong.

Here's the twist, though - just before this happened, this same person was
the catalyst for a realization, and it was my boyfriend, my beloved boyfriend,
who knocked me over the head with the realization. So, then I knew why I
could never ever again, ever see myself as a victim (yeah I had seen myself
as one).
No, it was far far worse, because now I have to face my own chaos, and that
is a far
harder thing to do than having to get over feeling sorry for yourself, or
trying to get
others to do so, which is how I was judged. God, it would have been soooo
much
easier, because then I could still have seen myself as the "good guy".

I had to understand then, the reason I chose certain situations was because
of *my*
corresponding chaos. I cannot in any way see myself as an innocent, because
now I know
what it was that drew me. I know it from my life.......the first time I
came out a victim,
but the second time (the second time it was just a yoga class not a cult),
there were no
"predators" or "victims" at all, only chaos. I was warned that time, by
credible sources;
I knew about the chaos, and still I went to it. How I will resolve that is
another matter.

So. I think that people's emotional reactions to our judgements of them is
not always the
simple, reliable yardstick it would seem to be.

Tracy

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org

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