To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/28 16:41
Subject: Re: [K-list] Symptoms Poll
From: Tice
On 2001/05/28 16:41, Tice posted thus to the K-list:
Hi everyone - I've been reading with great interest the Symptoms Poll. Just
as Hillary guessed - wanting to know how my symptoms compared with those of
others - brought me to the list many years ago. I've had incremental K
"signals" and then overt "symptoms" over the last 15 years or so. Listed
below are some of them in chronological order:
>Had a vision of a white lotus floating on very white backround out of my
>closet one night as I lay in bed with a horrible stomach virus. It
>floated out with all the petals closed, then as it moved toward me, the
>entire flower opened.
>In my first concerted efforts to meditate years ago, I'd see on the inner
>plane, rapidly swirling circles of what I now know are the colors of the
>upper 4 chakras: purple, blue, turquoise and green - all blended one from
>the other like those multi-colored candles now popular, and turning on a
>kind of fulcrum so that at full frontal view I saw a perfect circle that
>then turned on it's fulcrum to an untra-thin sideways view - back and
>forth, spinning rapidly. I hadn't studied chakras prior to then, and had
>no idea about their colors or that they spun in circles, etc.
>Dreamed I was visited by Shiva - my puja room was filled with snow, and
>when I asked him an important question, his eyes rolled to the back of his
>head as seen in so many depictions of him. I was NOT a Shiva worshipper,
>or even remotely interested in Shiva until that dream.
Then, about five years ago the following began to happen in a concentrated
period of time:
>Had a couple of experiences when walking down the street, or going through
>my daily work routine when I felt like my body was suddenly dropped - like
>in an elevator - rapidly and forcefully a few inches lower. Must have
>been a partial liftoff of spirit from body that returned with a thud!
>In meditation, began to feel the K energy rise up my torso to about the
>chest level.
>Started getting a painful sensation on the "soft spot" on the back of my
>head, later turning into a sensitivity at the crown chakra. Initially I
>felt a very strong and distinctly straight line of electrical current
>running from the top of my crown chakra to the back of my tongue that
>lasted weeks.
>Started feeling what a friend described as "helmet head" - a comfortable
>tightness around my head in the area a helmet would cover. Still get it
>sometimes. Initially, the only thing I could describe it as is that it
>felt like an egg about to hatch - felt like I was giving birth to
>something from the top of my head! (I'm a mother of 3)
>Had energy coursing so strongly throughout my body, beginning at the base
>of my spine, that I physically shook in an intense, vibrating pattern that
>I cannot recreate without the actual K making it happen. Like a wave
>pattern moving upward, only fast and furious. A friend sitting next to me
>could feel it when her shoulder touched me. It was physically visible,
>too. This continues to happen when feeling inspired.
>Had a dream of a two-headed snake that I tried desparately to prevent from
>biting me on the wrists - it bit me anyway! Lots of imagery of "two" in
>my dreams and unconsious awakenings, I believe symbolizing the Ida and
>Pingala.
>Began getting shocks which have become a way of life - in just about every
>part of my body, but mostly initially through the big toes. When they
>happen, they're powerful, painful and make me jump. But luckily last only
>a second or two. I believe this must be the nadis getting a clearing
>zap... I swear, no place on my body is sacred - been zapped high and low,
>east and west!
>Once, when in bed reading a book by an Australian author, I was struck by
>her spelling of the word "aum" by changing it to "ohm". I lay there
>thinking - "well, that's really the right way to spell it, because it
>really IS electrical energy", when all of a sudden an electrical current
>came up through my big toe up my leg with such force it literally lifted
>me a foot off the bed! I was convinced! :-)
>It's subsided in the last year (or else I've gotten used to it!), but for
>years, almost every night I was in a state of semi-consciousness because
>upon falling asleep my body would go through a full-body vibration that
>lasted throughout the night. It seems the K becomes more active when I lay
>down, or of course when I meditate regularly - which I unfortunately don't
>do.
>I often feel chakra activity at the base of my perineum - not sexual, but
>highly sensational.
>Have felt my heart chakra open up on many occasions when it just feels
>like love expanding outward - and feels SOOOOO good.
>Felt the throat chakra do the same, only not as intense of a love feeling
>attached to it.
>Have felt the third eye and crown chakras vibrating, hurting, tingling,
>opening, etc. for years.
>For a long time, frequently felt a course of energy go up the back of my
>head and down the center of my face making my nose, lips and tongue
>vibrate and quiver. Only happens occasionally now. I remember having this
>pathway explained by someone on the list, which was comforting - so if
>you're still out there, a belated thank you!
>Frequently felt like the tip of my tongue was being zapped like having it
>on a 9 volt battery.
The mental and emotional symptoms have been challenging - I was relieved to
see how many of you out there have had a similar experience:
>I sometimes feel a sense of unreality - like I'm not sure I'm really here,
>or like I'm not even sure if what I'm doing is appropriate behavior in
>front of others, etc! This will sound gross to some, but I actually began
>noticing it a few years ago when going to the bathroom and wondering "am I
>dreaming, or really on the toilet?" Ha! Very strange... Now it happens
>just walking into a room.
>My emotions are strong, furious and leave as suddenly as they arrive -
>especially anger.
>Memory is a challenge - and I have a lot of responsibility at my job,
>unable to afford a fickle memory!
>Lots of periods of ecstasy, but also bouts of depression, which are
>difficult to live with, especially since I have trouble allowing myself to
>just rest and do nothing but read a book all day.
>I have steadily put on an extra 25 pounds over the last few years with
>ravenous cravings for sweet foods, especially chocolate!
>Can feel my heartbeat throughout my body in different places. Also, what
>finally got me to write was a similar sensation to a previous writer who
>noted a tightening in the upper neck muscles of the right side of the
>neck/head - I experienced this on a couple of occasions - the sensation
>being so strange that I swore it was kundalini. I have a medical doctor
>friend who says it's a common location for muscle tension spasming - but
>this didn't feel like a spasm so much as like a "reworking" - for what
>it's worth!
Well, this is why I hesitate to write - too wordy! Thanks for the
opportunity, and for all the sharing everyone has done on this topic...
Love and Light, Lisa
p.s. About two years ago I kept hearing the name "Thoth". Then, one night
in a dream, saw myself in the shallow shores of an ocean when suddenly a
HUGE spotted snake, folded in on itself so that I couldn't see its head or
tail, swept me up and very rapidly took me to the top of a mountain where
stood Thoth! And again I heard his name spoken. Up to this point, I had
no overt interest in Egyptology (and still don't, really), nor had a clue
who the heck Thoth was. I would value any insights some of you might have
about this dream. It was obviously a K dream, and all I can think of is
that Thoth may have been a god I worshipped in a previous life. I later
inadvertently purchased a book on color symbology that had a section on
symbols and saw under the caduceus that this was Thoth/Hermes. Could the
dream have reflected a healing of sorts? Also, I was stunned today when
reading through a Samuel Weiser book catelog, and found a picture of a deck
of "Thoth" tarot cards designed by Aleister Crowley with the image of the
snake in my dream in the shape of a figure 8. It makes me wonder if I saw
this somewhere before the dream and just wasn't consciously aware of it.
In any event, the dream was obviously full of symbolism, and continues to
make me wonder...
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