To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/09 01:11
Subject: Re: [K-list] empaths
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/05/09 01:11, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 10:20 PM 5/8/01, Christopher Wynter wrote:
>People sometimes have a problem with some of the words I use and the
>definitions of those words ..
>
>English, not being my native language,
Ah so.. what is your native language?
>There is a state of consciousness where one moves beyond the
>reaction .. beyond the experience .. to a state of Knowing .. and this is
>beautifully described in the Yoga Sutras of Patenjali ..
>
>It is a state where one can "Know" the other .. without experiencing
>what the other is experiencing .. and yet the "knower" also knows
>the experience of the other.
Yes.. I have been there, and it was much more pleasant than where I am
now.
>This state is reached through the release of all of the discordances
>within the physical body which causes one to react .. or mirror an
>other person.
Last year, Jan 2000, someone was attacking me and accusing me of
cursing them.. being incredibly hostile and spewing lies about me to anyone
who would listen. I was frankly, puzzled by the whole thing. The only curse
I know is a joke: "What is the worst, most horrible Chinese curse? May you
clear all of your karma by next week, and become enlightened. The reason it
is a curse, is that most people would not survive having all of their karma
coming up in a week..
I considered bombing this person with unconditional love, I had to do
something because empathy with her vindictive insanity was painful.. but
she was so unstable already that I figgered it would have the same result
as the Chinese curse, bring up too much of her stuff too fast and she'd go
off the deep end, and I'd get the karmic feedback dumped back on me, anyway.
So in the end, through some illogical twist of logic, I decided to
skip the middleman and simply apply the curse directly to myself.. I was
thinking that with as far as K. has taken me, I could not possibly have
much karma left..
(Kids, don't try this at home!! Seriously!! )
Well, three days later I was apologizing to Goddess for my arrogance,
and begging for mercy, to have the timeline extended. That month was like
one long bad acid trip, hanging onto my sanity with a thread of faith and
experiencing various illnesses as my body cleansed itself of any remaining
speck of karmic junk.
When I came out of it, I was ascended. The blissful detached awareness
you describe, silent mind, stuff not sticking. Casual miracles, large and
small, mysterious fragrances of roses, sandalwood and bananas.. (that last,
was Goddess sense of humor) and being literally invisible to some people.
Ascended people really are invisible to non- ascended people, like in
the "Tenth Insight", the sequel to "the Celestine Prophecies."
Last weekend I celebrated Beltane, and reminisced about how last
Beltane, I wondered for a bit, about why my friends were not reacting to my
waving hello to them, not looking at me at all. Odd. I wondered if I had
done something to upset them, but that made no sense.
Finally I realized that they simply could not see me. So, I simply took
on enough ambient Karma from the crowd, to have a shadow.. enough
separation to be visible, because invisibility is not much fun in a social
situation.
I cleared the stuff when the weekend was past. Months later, I asked
the high Priest about it.. and he shrugged and said that he was aware of my
presence, as he is always aware of me as a radiant sexual being, whether he
can see me or not.. but since I was being invisible, he went along with it.
He'd assumed the invisibility was deliberate, some kind of prank or game. I
shook my head.. :)
Then in June, I attached to some things, went down the "Road to Hell
of Good intentions" and came crashing back to Earth.. I made a promise to
someone who was in fear, a compassionate gesture, but it was a silly thing
to do. The promise was a form of resistance, and trying to keep my word, I
sacrificed my state of Grace.. and ended up sacrificing the promise, too,
in the end.. but by then it was too late. I was stuck in Hades.
I am better than I was then, but I still have not been able to get
properly ascended again, since. I miss it, like Dorothy missed Kansas. I
want to go home again. I'm really tired of being a reactive little
empathy-bunny with other folks crap getting stuck in me all the time. I do
have calm, clear quiet periods, and small miracles and what not, but it is
just not the same.
I'm almost tempted to use the Chinese curse again, but I really do not
have the leisure to spend a month being insane right now. I'd like to think
it would not take so long this time, but I really don't know. How about if
I give it a timeline of 10 minutes? LOL!!.. dangerous ideas born of
desperation.
>and the awareness comes to the right brain instantaneously without
>thought .. without experience ..
Yes.. the silent mind simply "knows".. and sorting it out with thought
is not necessary unless you need to communicate the knowing to someone else.
>There is no .. "One greater than another" .. in what I write .. If someone
>wasn't able to share with you the possibilities, then it would be very
>difficult for you to know that they exist .. or that there is more ..
Yes.. that is the essence of why I write, too.. So others on the path
will know what is possible, what they might encounter, and not feel so
crazy or alone.
I used to write more stories of the strange miracles that happen in my
world, until I discovered that most people thought I was making this stuff
up. Made no sense to me, why would I make it up? Why lie? Whatever would be
my motive to do that? I actually, usually toned it down! There were simply
too many inexplicable occurrences and odd miracles to relate them all.
>I had to .. the work .. taking on the experiences of all of these people
>was burning me out .. and I had to move beyond this experience
>for my own survival ..
Yep.. know what you mean.. when I get too blocked up, my immune system
fails, my body starts to die.. not there at present, happily.
>I had no one to guide me .. no one to show me the way .. for quite some
>time ..
Ditto.. winging it. My stubbornness, my Dominant persona and my
agreement with Goddess to serve Her within myself and have none before Her,
kind of precludes my accepting any kind of Guru or full time teacher.
Someone trying to dominate me, or tell me they know what is good for me
better then I do, often acts like a blockage in my system, and I usually
end up trying to rip their head off. For a short term, it works, I can
submit a massage or to being cleared by another healer.. but more than a
few hours and there is rampant rebellion.
>For me, it was a case of continually applying the mirror to myself
>and looking at all of my reactions .. and finding what part of my
>body reflected the experience ..
Well, yeah, I hear you.. and for me, it is yes and no. I used the
mirror very effectively for a good many years, and cleared lifetimes of
stuff with it or I'd probably not have survived the Chinese curse, at all..
Yes, you are right, it is good and it does work very wonderfully, or I'd
not have suggested it to Miss Chicken.
Yet.. I know all this stuff is not my own. I cleared all of my own
karma, I ascended and then I fell from grace.. and now this is stuff that
has become mine, because it is stuck in me.. Mind you, that attitude does
not help much.. Resistance is futile, I want to be assimilated.
Goddess take it.. take me. Take me home.
Blessings..
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