To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/04/11 10:50
Subject: [K-list] Claiming my Voice
From: Justlynette
On 2001/04/11 10:50, Justlynette posted thus to the K-list:
I am here to claim my voice. A lifetime of silence. A lifetime of feeling my
words are nothing. The ego that has been told to shut up their entire lives,
lacks the ability to speak out without feeling fear.
This ego needs to claim her voice, by taking it back from all those who
sought to silence her. Parents, friends, family, teachers, people claiming to
know what is best, and those who seek to control through silence.
The world is filled with such people, and my beloved cannot speak fully for
me, through me, and with me, till I reject their projections of unworthiness.
Repeatedly the spirit brings me back to my first released memory. I have not
let go of the pain. I have not let go of the anger. It subsides and
resurfaces. Repeats over and over.
How many times must I release before its gone completely?
How many times must I silence myself?
"the ego only makes noise" someone else's noisy ego chatters in my ear. Who
said the ego is noisy? The ego is part of the beloved, the ego is part of the
universal spirit. The ego cannot continue to silence itself and the beloved,
and repress its truths. The truth of my existence needs not be silenced.
By my ego's silence, I allow injustices to happen. By silencing my ego, I
also silence my beloved. We want to be heard as one, as part of the universal
spirit, without Fear!
I do not want to fear every time I speak, that I will be silenced again. I
need to let go of the pain of silence inflicted on me by myself, through
projections from parents, friends, and by all that have sought to silence me.
I am my biggest enemy. I remain in my silence out of fear.
My ego demands my voice be given back to me, so that I may surrender it to
the beloved fully.
I will not be silenced unless the beloved seeks my silence. I will not be
told my ego is only noise, I will not be silenced against falsehoods,
judgements, or attempts of controlling me.
My voice is mine!
Once told that my self righteous indignation would not get me anywhere...
Words spoken to suppress my anger. When what my beloved and ego needed was to
express, and release the anger and hurt... Releasing anger and hurt does Not
contaminate the spirit of innocence... Nothing can contaminate the spirit of
innocence.
To release memories and suppress the emotion that accompanies them, silences
the ego, silences the beloved... Does not allow for full release.
I am capable of releasing in my own time, in my own way...
This voice will no longer be silenced of its truth!
Lynette
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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