To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/27 12:16
Subject: tough love was Re: [K-list] C'mon lurkers
From: Llewellyn
On 2001/03/27 12:16, Llewellyn posted thus to the K-list:
Hi again Percyval,
----- Original Message -----
From: "percyval" <percyvalATnospamrcn.com>
To: "kundalini-list" <K-list >
Sent: Tuesday, March 27, 2001 1:03 PM
Subject: Re: [K-list] C'mon lurkers
>
> hi again Lew,
>
> ok, i had to quickly clear up any misconception about my loud foolin
> around obnoxious toungue-in-cheek comment... i'd still like to discuss a
> few other things you said...
>
I can not comment on the correctness of your self description of "loud
foolin around obnoxious tongue-in cheek comment" - you know what you had in
mind - i know how i interpreted it, :)
ok, moving on to other things i can spend a few minutes in a discussion
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Llewellyn" <llewellynjATnospamearthlink.net>
> > There is a difference between tough love and just being tough or
> > displaying prowess or power or knowledge. The intentionality is the
> key. I
> > have had all of the tough love that i could take and those words were
> used
> > by my family when they threw me into a mental hospital because of k
> > awakening -
> > "you never understood tough love" my mother said - i understand
> plenty - i
> > understood the intention
>
> well. i can see why you have strong feelings about that distinction...
> and your point is well taken... although i am a fan of tough love.. i
> don't think whatt your family did you to you was tough love... although
> that is what they called it... to me tough love has a "take it or leave
> it" component... you were not allowed to choose to leave it...
>
well my mother was right i never understood tough love and never will -
i understand the concept - it is just when that name is attached to it - it
almost never means what it says - in other words people talk about tough
love - when there is no love only toughness but they need to believe that
they are loving - otherwise a distinction would never come up - it seems
parents often adopt the tough love gambit when there is no take it or leave
it component - children do not have that option
children can be spanked - or given the belt - tough love? take it or leave
it?
alcoholics can undergo an intervention - tough love? take it or leave it?
(depends on circumstances)
When is tough love applied where there is not some difference in authority
or control or power?- i am exercising this power and it hurts you, but it
really is for your benefit - yup tough love - or just plain tough -
Now i am not saying that parents should not be tough - but that is another
topic for another day.
I posted:
> > i think most people intuitively feel the difference emanating from
> the
> > posts - as has been discussed many times on the list, we read between
> and
> > under the words - many times imperfectly - but we are k - that is
> what we
> > do - there are many flare-ups due to reading the underlying message
> and
> > calling someone on it - did so - did not - and on it goes - who is
> calling
> > who on what - the surface words keep on reflecting; the message's
> soul
> > absorbs all
>
You responded:
> oh yeah.. there is plenty of underlying shadowy stuff in so many
> posts... i like the drama of it though...
Yes - we all can get rather dramatic at times - sometimes the list is
better than a soap opera - and i certainly do not claim to be exempt from
having swirls of stuff hanging around my posts or at times of posting a
piece of dramatic trash- but at that time that is who i am and is part of
me as well -
we speak in many layers :))
and sometimes we even understand the obvious as well as the hidden - not
always though -
snip next interchange not seemingly important to this
Me:
> > My voice is not usually kind, although perhaps it is unique -
>
You:
> from impressions without remembering specific posts... that is how i
> perceive you...
>
Thanks - worse things could and have been said about my posts
I said:
> > Also i am only looking at a narrow window which is probably not
> > representative. So, no need to get your dander up, or come to the
> defense
> > of the list - if we are not allowed to voice a general dissenting
> impression
> > than indeed the list is a pretty tame place. But i have, so it is not.
You responded:
> well i hope you understand that my dander is not up, i was fooling
> around... but i feel that the list is beautiful in all it's
> imperfections... along with all the beauty, posts are often pompous,
> nasty behind pretty words, and at times unkind to folks... but i find it
> so beautiful and interesting... and i love the presence of dissenting
> posts... so thank you, we would stagnate without them...
>
> i love what this list is...exactly as it never stays... it's always
> changing, but somehow, so much is all the same...
>
> warmly,
>
> percyval
>
hmm, well i will not really go into this one - we can disagree and
still agree that the list serves it function. We will disagree about who is
pompous and who is hiding behind words and who is unkind to whom - but i
agree that all of these things occur here - and it is indeed the tension and
the friendly conflicts that allow us all to learn and to grow - less of a
kundalini textbook than a kundalini workbook - with all of the messiness and
incomplete answers and junk that is in life -
uh yeah, i try at times to present a dissenting viewpoint although often it
seems it is like pissing into the wind :))
Llewellyn
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