To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/12/15 07:42
Subject: Re: [K-list] questions
From: José
On 2000/12/15 07:42, José posted thus to the K-list:
I agree totally Wim. Just would like to react on this part. I seem to have
to fight for me and my baby to go throught this natural process. I would
prefer to give birth at home, in a bath. This would be a safe and warm
surrounding for me to encounter the pain that will be there, and hopefully
be able to stay with my baby during the process of birth.
Since I do have a bipolar disorder, still take lithium now in a low dose and
have a high risk at a manic episode after giving birth, I decided to
consult my GP and a psychiatrist in an early phase, and find a midwife who
doesn't get scared when I tell her all this. But unfortunately, except for
my GP, all I encounter is fear. It's hard to believe for people I will take
responsability for my manic episodes if they occur, and with a loving
boyfriend(husband) who is not afraid of mania, and two houses to arrange
things well if necessary. I'm a psychiatric case in their eyes, and
therefor should go straight to hospital. The psychiatrist there treats me as
a walking bipolar disorder without self-insight, instead of a human being.
I'm trying to build a network of people around me that support me to do it
my way. If it turns out I find too many difficulties on this way, I'll start
arranging things in hospital, making agreements with the people I want
around me, as far as possible.
It's incredible how much negativity you encounter, when, what you really
meet in people, is fear. I wish people would just have the guts to say: I
don't know what to do in this case, I'm afraid to handle it, instead of
imposing their dysfunctioning ideas on you.
Don't take me wrong, I do'nt want to complain. Funny thing is: since I'm
becoming a mother, I seem like a tiger, while for myself I was never any
good at fighting for the way I wanted to do things!
love, José
P.S. I will be off the list for a month or so, since I'm going away for a
few weeks on a visit. Thanks for all the loving comments so far. This list
has been a tremendous support to me.
............
> Same as with a mother giving birth, when she lets the process happen
> naturally there usually is no pain, when she or the medical/cultural
> prescribed actions go against it then there will be pain which will then
> turn into suffering, neediness, manipulation.
> The natural process is to 'allow' the process and to 'trust' the
> process... ergo no or at least less pain but... no suffering.
> Notice the difference that I make between the two words. Pain is
> bearable, suffering is when one thinks one should not have to bear it.
> Pain is physical, suffering is the mental entourage around it, the games
> we habitually play, have been conditioned to play with pain in order to
> not have it. Pain is what you *have* at the moment, no amount of
> cajoling will make it diappear. In fact when one accepts pain it will
> dissappear sooner, as our natural endorphins kick in.
>......
> Love,
> Wim
>
>
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