To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/17 06:42
Subject: Re: [K-list] Wound-ology
From: Ckress
On 2000/06/17 06:42, Ckress posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 06/16/2000 7:39:02 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
mrstoastATnospamaol.com writes:
<< "Wound-ology" is a Carolyn Myss term for the perpetual state of
victimhood that our "self-help" society has nurtured. People become
so caught up in the process of "healing" that they are reluctant to
let go of their life's traumas, and instead cling to them as a
definition of self. >>
Yes, I'm familiar with Myss's use of the term. She applies it to people
whose entire identity revolves around some past trauma, as in "I'm an incest
survivor." She says these people can't even talk about the weather without
inserting their "wound" into the conversation. I.e., "Looks like it's going
to rain, like it did the day my uncle first molested me."
Wim and his mystery friend have altered the meaning to apply it to me (and by
extension, to anyone else in a similar predicament) with my current health
difficulties and my mention of them on the list. Neither I nor most others
here who have chronic/serious health problems fall into Myss's category of
"Poor me, I can't stop obsessing over something that happened to me long ago,
so everyone must regard me as special and more fragile than any of you."
Speaking openly and honestly about here-and-now lingering physical
illness/pain is shunned in just about every social strata. There is
tremendous resistance to the idea that people with long term physically
painful conditions can be nonetheless psychologically and spiritually
healthy. If the body isn't functioning well and feeling good (or isn't felt
at all), the inner person is judged as somehow defective. I found this view
pernicious long before I lost my own physical health. All my life I've had
friends who had extreme physical disabilities or illnesses. Some of them
(not all) were exceptionally mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong and
resilient people.
If I seem to harp on this cause, it's because I'm experientially qualified to
address it and because people like Wim take every opportunity to overtly or
subtly gloat: "Nananana, I'm healthy and you're not, so you're a loser!"
Anyone with a chronic health condition has run up against this kind of
ignorance. It can be as demoralizing as trying to cope with the illness
itself.
If I were the only one dealing with the crap of being sick and being a pariah
because of it, I would never have mentioned it here. But since I know this
is an issue impacting many besides myself, I have continued to stick my neck
out and take a verbal beating for it. And I continue to be encouraged to do
so because I've received so much thanks (mostly from lurkers) when I have
spoken in advocacy for those of us who don't have the comfort or luxury of
physical well being.
El
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