To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/23 13:44
Subject: [K-list] ego again.......
From: meeradji
On 2000/05/23 13:44, meeradji posted thus to the K-list:
Hi everybody,
standing in fire with a tremendous headache i try to
find my way through to words and communication
skills. I have no intellectual concepts about it, i
just go along energy lines and "feel" what feels
true to me right now. The problem with this kind of
"perception" of "reality" is, that there is nothing
to " discuss" about. Reading ( trying to) the mail
somebody ( sorry, i forgot the name....Jerry?) wrote
back to the list giving his thoughts ( feelings?) on
the duality (evil) topic,referring to a mail i wrote
last week and telling me i have "wrong" concepts, i
realized where the principal problem lies. I don't
HAVE anything, i AM and live a certain perception of
"reality". I experience it like that right now like
i experience my headache and the fire in my body.
It's nothing i can discuss and decide: oh, this
arguments are nice, i guess i change my opinion.
I like to share what i experience with you and like
to listen to your truths, but because it's no mind
concepts or ideas or playing around with thoughts
there is nothing i could discuss .
today i was wandering along "ego lines" and got to
the theory of the immortality of the soul....... i
went along my beliefs that in the end there is only
ONEness and LOVE and the only desire the soul has is
to dissolve into this ONEness...... suddenly i felt
pain and wondered where the pain came from. I went
along the pain line and found sentences like: the
body, the ego, will die and has to die, but the soul
will live forever. Or: in paradise we will be
reunited with the ones we love. Or:
I will reincarnate again. Or: the job of my soul in
this incarnation....
i realized that all this concepts base on a separate
entity, now called "soul" and i suddenly had the
suspicion all these visions of a never dying soul
are ego projections onto an other level. It felt
like a terrible trick of the ego. As if the ego sort
of accepts our game and "dissolves" on a certain
level, but just masks itself in a "soul terminology"
and suddenly nobody is questioning it any longer.
It felt to me, only if i'm able to give up the
individuality of my soul also i will have a chance
to experience ONEness. Otherwise i just change the
color of the game and play it in the astral and not
in materia any more.
Somebody who can relate to that?
Where is Wim? i miss his energy....
warmly
mia
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