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To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/01/17 04:31
Subject: Digest for kundaliniATnospamtopica.com, issue 30
From: Kundalini


On 2000/01/17 04:31, Kundalini posted thus to the K-list:

-- Topica Digest --
Re: How's the flu? By serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com
 Re: How's the flu?
By anglfthrATnospamiamerica.net
Crucifixion-Ressurection Initiation By magneagaATnospammonet.no
------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2000 01:33:54 -0800
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent Subject: Re: [K-list] How's the flu?

At 11:31 PM 1/15/00 -0800, Jenell wrote: >I think from one of Angelique's posts, she had developed the 'real flu'
>to explain her symptoms, at least she did say she had a fever. >Angelique? How is it coming along?
 :) thanks for asking. Still feeling odd.. restless.. delicate and not-quite here.. at the moment I'm processing grief and sadness... nice
change from rejection and cold chills. Dunno if it's mine or someone else's.. it's mine now, apparently so it hardly matters. I am All
that Is..
I dunno.. my appetite is starting to return, just starting, but food has no taste. I am feeling a little more stable than I was before, but I'm
not "back" yet. Still feel like I'm wandering in the underworld, or something. Not in my body.
I've never felt all that "sick" as one thinks of flu... just all these wierd symptoms. Easier on my mind to treat it like flu..
>Anyone else find they really did come down with the real flu, or are you
>still suffering this 'phantom flu' or 'spiritual flu', as I am? I've no >sign of 'real flu' yet at all, and my wierd flu like symptoms are
>fading, the aching and soreness, anyway, though I'm still feeling pretty >drained and tired from it, just like after the real flu. I still suspect
>mine is something I'm perceiving through the empathy from someone i'm in >connection with that actually has the 'real flu'.
  Well, I hope it's not me wiping y'all out.. :) I don't think it is, I think it's just the present phase of the mass
consciousness shift. I remember a K-flare 3 years ago, when I *felt* the unity of all women. The feeling didn't last, but it was remarkable. I think
that is what's happening, on a planetary scale. All the old rejections and grief between women are coming up to be cleared to make way for a new unity
of Goddess consciousness. Of course, I could be raving.. Blessings..

 Mystress Angelique Serpent, http://www.domin8rex.com Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Officially the most beautiful city in the world.
8) :D ;) :0 :) ;P ;) :D |* ;) 8D :) << I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery
 << than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it. << -- Harry Emerson Fosdick

   

------------------------------
Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2000 19:40:32 -0600 From: Jenell
CC: kundaliniATnospamtopica.com Subject: Re: [K-list] How's the flu?

Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote: >
> I am feeling a little more stable than I was before, but I'm > not "back" yet. Still feel like I'm wandering in the underworld, or
> something. Not in my body.
I understand tat. I've had for several years now had to try to learn to walk a delicate balance of a state of being 'in between'. Its a wild
expereience. Better now, but for a long while the only way to describe what I felt like was that I was 'out of sync'. Like a movie where the
actors mouth movements don't quite match the sound track. Or a set of those transparent pictures meant to overlay exactly are slightly shifted
out of alignment. I can only guess at it, but my impression what that my phsycial body and my spiritual body were not quite aligned with one
another. A really spaced out feeling. sort of like being really spacey on too much cold meds, or slightly drunk, tho not the other feelings of
being drink, just that messed up coordination feeling. It was very difficult to concentrate. I knew it was something I was going through,
don't understand it, just coped as best I could, trusting it would get btter. It has. I still have to be careful, not spend too much time in
meditation prayer, or being 'into' myself, or it starts getting worse again.
> I've never felt all that "sick" as one thinks of flu... just all these > wierd symptoms. Easier on my mind to treat it like flu..
> >
> >connection with that actually has the 'real flu'. > Well, I hope it's not me wiping y'all out.. :)
> I don't think it is, I think it's just the present phase of the mass > consciousness shift.

I suspect you are right. We noticed it conscously even if others, the still 'normal' for this world, don't.
I remember a K-flare 3 years ago, when I *felt* the > unity of all women. The feeling didn't last, but it was remarkable.
curious, I've kept a fair journal since my own awakening, do you
remember just exactly when that was, I'd like to cross reference that to my own hourna notes, see what was going on with me at the same time. If
we come up with something that might 'match', perhaps others can comment on if they also expereinced something about that time. There are several
time periods in which I felt i was experiencing something that was part of a larger, global thing going on. If others would be interesting, I've
thought even of posting some about those periods, the dates, what was happening to me, the dreams I had, which have some in something of
clusters around such times, and many of them, I feel, relate not just to me personally, but to the larger, to what is going on on the global
scale. Would be interesting if we started coming up with some 'patterns' we are all experiencing, wouldn' it?

 I think
> that is what's happening, on a planetary scale. All the old rejections and > grief between women are coming up to be cleared to make way for a new unity
> of Goddess consciousness. Of course, I could be raving..
no, i'm in complete agreement with you. The issues between women are involve,d als a number of others, anything that involves imbalance is
undergoig major change, I think. The whole world IS, I believe, at a major point of evolutionary change at the deepest spiritual level, that
will then of course become manifested in the physical, material world level.
> Blessings.. > And to you,
Jenell
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2000 05:16:06 +0100
From: "Magne Aga" Cc: "Wim Borsboom" ,
Subject: Crucifixion-Ressurection Initiation
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Dearl Jenell and Amanda... You asked me several questions, and I decided to answer them in one =
single posting.
Jenell, January 15, 2000 5:42 PM
>Thank you, Magne, for also this latest posting. It too, and still what =
i >work over on your first, is prooving of great benefit to me. It is
>helping my understadnigns, not only of my self, my life, but things = I've
>encountered among others in this life, and even something of my 'life >mission', I suppose one would call it.=20
> >Considering upon the dream I related, about going down into that pit, I
>note several interesting things, and these things coincide with many >other dreams I have had.
> >While there are two possible directions presented in the material you
>give for what happens when we encounter the abyss, either crossing it >safely, or falling into it to our destruction, in my dream, a third
>direction occurred.
Yes there are a third direction. After all, the Pearl falling downwards = after the *waterline* is established, is - ipso facto - a DIVING into =
the Abyss. However, the fall of the Pearl, smashing our lower ego into = ten thousand pieces when hitting the pineal gland, must be combined with =
the New-born UNITY of the waterline established in store. Otherwise, we = would not be reborned on the other side. It is the PEARL that shall dive =
into the Abyss, not our Ego.
In the mystery schools in Ancient Egypt, the *death*, the temporarily = removal of the prana-body - that part of our auric envelope which keeps =
us alive - was symbolized by Osiris beeing cut into pieces by a sword, = while the Goddess Isis was putting him together again. These =
*reconstruction* of the empty shells of our previously, social made ego, = would not possible without the previously established UNITY between the =
pineal and pituitary glands.
>In the dream of the pit I related here, I did go down into the pit, but >i did not fall into it, I went down willing, and curious. In the
>community at the bottom of it, I was as an abserver, no one paid much >notice to me, I just wandered about, observing. As the pit began to
>cllapse, I was not destroyed there, but immediately lifted up and out = of
>the pit, to observe from that vantage point, the continuing collapse, >and to feel great concern, compassion, for those trapped down there at
>the bottom of the pit.=20 >
>now, I have had all my life, and most powerfully in the past few years, >many very vivd, strongly emotional dreams in which the 'theme' was in
>some way my 'rescuing'or 'setting free' something that was being >oppressed, held under burden, bondage, for someone else's gain. Once a
>horse, being beaten as it staggered beneath a huge, too heavy burden on >it's back, in another, a small bird that was struggling to fly with a
>big gaudy costume strapped to it, people following behind it, cheering >at it's efforts, who got very angry at me for releasing th creature =
from >it's burden, and letting it rest a bit before letting it fly away free,
>etc. They were insisting the bird was better for the costume it had = been
>carryng, without it, it was just a plain brown bird.=20 >
>In what you write, you speak of seeking a pearl of compassion. In the >dream about that pit, the abyss, it seems to me that I descended into
>the pit to observe those down there, to 'know' them as being people >there, ordinary people, and then, as the destruction came, I was lifted
>up, to feel compassion for them, which I would not have, had i not >journeyed down there and seen them there, known there were people down
>there?=20
Excactly. When the Pearl dives downwards, it isn't a personal matter =
only. It affects thousands of people with the same background, problems, = situation etc. as yourself. It is a diving into the astral planes in =
order to rescue those beeing entrapped there. We are all ONE / WON in = the Spiritual Realm.
>This relates also so very well with some patterns in my life =
experience. >i have watched, been personally connected to, loved, so very many that
>HAVE destroyed themselves, with selfishness and anger and self pride, >etc, all the negative things, watched them become bitter, mean spirited
>people that drove others away, often wondering mself why i continued to >take the abuse from them i did to be able to stay by them. And yet, i
>still loved them, cared about them, sorrowed, even grieved, for what i >watched them do to themselves, and being unable to help them see what
>they were doing to themselves.=20
Yes, but You are not the conscience of others free will.
>I think that dream of the pit was the symbol of where and how i have >found my pearl of compassion. Was it not also written that Jesus, in =
the >hours of his 'death', in which He lay in the grave, the tomb, following
>His crucifixion, visited those in the abode of the dead, before being >ressurected? And does that not carry to the tomb is the womb, as by his
>descent into those depths perhaps for Him, as myself in my life, make >those depths as the womb in which the seed was placed, to develope,
>until the birth of compassion for those one has seen there, is born = into
>life?
The Pearl is the Pearl of Creation, a way to manifest ideas. In the = esoteric doctrine, a certain image is used about these process of =
Creation.
Before the Creation, the *Sun Angel* KEEPS IT'S BREATH - a hint of the = magic practice therein. Everything *keeps is breath*, as we say in the =
everyday language, when waiting on the outcome of a coming incident of = importance.
Everything is Silence. Silence and darkness.... In these utter darkness =
and Silence, the Pearl suddendly falls. It falls, and falls.....=20 And when it hits the bottom, in an explosion - voila ! - Creation takes =
place ! The horisontal bar of light in the head vibrates as a Bow, as = seen in the sancrit-sign for "OM".
This is creation, manifestation - the realization of your =
*birth-vision*.
The diving of the Pearl into the *underground*, into the dark caves of = the tomb / womb, is a grounding process where Spiritual ideas manifests =
- instead of beeing just dreams. Jesus spent 3 days in the tomb, = symbolizing the 3 states of consciousness (Delta,Theta,Alpha) *beneath* =
our conscious state. And *the three faces of Eve* became Unified by his = ressurection.
As a benefice to these number, it should be noted that people with =
classical slit personality disorders, developes MORE than the three = personalities emerging from the original split. This is due to what I =
wrote:=20 >The third eye Chakra is a center of a cosmic mirror game. Our Holy =
Guardian Angel is a phase-shifting reflection, a mirror of ourselves as = we comes from the physical world. We think about ourselves in terms of =
Past and Future, instead of the Eternal NOW, and these fragments, these = reflections, congregates into a sort of meta-reality.
In fact, as the disease evolves, the third eye Chakra MIRRORS the three =
personalities into six, etc.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Jenell,
January 15, 2000 9:15 PM
>>Dear Jenell. In your posting on Jan 14th, you mentioned *polarity = shifts*.
>>It was entitled *Reflections about >> the Holy Grail* - and became reading stuff within several secret =
societies. > Sounds interesting. if you can locate a copy, could you send it to me =
or=20 > tell me where I could obtain one? Do you know which such societies =
used=20 > it? I am in membership within a group involved in esoteric, mystic=20
> matters, the White Eagle Brotherhood, would perhaps you know of them,=20 > and would perhaps it be known to those of the inner Brotherhood among=20
> them?
Yes, I know several persons within those circles using it. But I do not = feel any needs revealing their existence. Some of their means of =
Initiation is very dangerous, and I do not trust the garanty of = *religious freedom* expressed by our Constitution. They are groups =
without outer organization, without known names. They prefer to work in = silence, as a silent undercurrent in our present culture. One of the =
*founders* - now departed - made long-enduring jorneys across Europe, = gaining mystic knowledge from teachers departed before his return. Among =
his written remains - and tape recorded speeches - are something he = called the *Book of Wisdom* - which later appeared to be fragments of =
the Books of *Lam-Rim* and *Dzyan*, which Blavatsky was blamed to = refering to as a *fiction*, a *forgery* by orientalists not able to =
identify it. My own paper, however, was an attempt to put words on my = own, personal experiences during my Initiation of death and rebirth. It =
was a way of *putting the fragments together again* after the Journey = into an altered - and very dangerous - state of consciousness.
>> Today, only remniscents, fragments remains - some in Norwegian, some =
in >> english - and I've actually spend some time with reconstruction =
attempts. >> *Reconstruting fragments* ! A nice analogy to the work done in the =
time >> period succeeding an Initiation !
> >I understand what you say here quite well. i have for some years now
>been led to reconstruct the events of my life, write them and as I have >and do, much is revealed to me of the significants of each of them, the
>effects on me, the lessons, the stages of growth, I've passed through. >It is something as the reading of a really deep meaningful book the
>second and thrid time. The first only carried you across the surface, >the later readings take you layer by layer deeper within.
Precisely!
>=20
> Anyway, two poles: Yin and Yang, masculine and feminine....=20 > >> two chakras in the heads establishes a new Ying-Yang polarity, the
> >> masculine and feminine aspects of the primordial force, *Father and > >> Mother*.
>=20 >I'm seeing, it seems, something of a very broad concept of this concept
>of polarity shift, or reversal, as in the opposite images of the = mirror,
>from a center point, or pivotal point, at what we would call the >mirror's surface. Equating the mirror's surface, that pivotal point
>between,to the balance point at which all opposites meet and interact. >I'm seeingit something as the number '0', from which in one direction
>one counts in 'positive numbers', in the other, 'negative numbers', but >as one moves from the '0', we still count those going in the negative
>direction in a postive term. This concept is hard to put into words. I >am seeng it as that of the yin/yang, masculine/feminine, adding and
>taking away, coming and going, the balance point, the pivotal point, >being that at which each oposite 'begins'. I am seeing, it seems, in
>this pivotal shifting of polarities, something of as if as we proceed = as
>one 'seeking' something, the shift to the opposite to be as then to >become the one that is 'giving', or has available to give the seeker,
>that which is sought, and in the third point, what you are calling the >'son', the becoming the thing sought itself. Examples, to seek love, as
>a negative state to love, a despostory for love, then as to give love, >as a postive state to love, a source of love, then to become love
>itself. I don't know that I am able to convey clearly what I try to say >here.
It's almost impossible to put words on the *Changeless continuity*. I've =
used the phrase *the still-point* to express these undefinable Tao or = Zero: A point of rest which - however, never becomes fully developed. In =
meditation we can rest in our own awareness, our own pure consciousness, = as observers of the Ever-evolving IS. And in this point of rest, it is =
not emptiness, but something ever evolving. When we have received = clarity about something, then - *still* - there are more! A never ending =
process, the *still point*......... It's difficult to put names on in, = since .... every time we give it a name, a definition - it has changed ! =
And doesn't fit into our conceptual world of relative measures (maya) ! =20
>In much in dreams, and writings, i have >been perciving my present state of being as something as that of the
>catapillar transforming into the butterfly. Of there being a point at >which the catapillar no longer exists, has 'died', but yet, the process
>is not yet advanced enough for it to be a recognizable butterfly. that >point in between, I have been expereincing as something of an =
'ego-less' >state, very disorienting. And expereincing a deep grieving I did not at
>first understand, but realized it is the new being I am emergin as, the >primitive, forming butterfly, that is grieving the death of the
>catapillar, the one I WAS, that has died, is being disintegrated to be >reintegrated into the body of the butterfly to be. Yes, I can see how
>that is actually the point of my being confronted with crossing the >abyss. And of having to make the choice, to go back and attempt to
>re-animate the catapillar, or proceed in becoming the butterfly. I = think
>I have already passed that point, though I'm still dealing with a lot = of
>the painful aspects of letting my identity of the catapillar go, mainly >in it's 'place' it had in this world, the people the catapillar related
>to, and that related to the catapillar, that the butterfly cannot. >Becoming the vbutterfly meaans of neccessity breaking ties with much in
>the world that was that of the catapillar.=20
The caterpillar flying out of its cocoon, is a widely used image of the = whole process. The caterpillar is FREE. The Violet Flame has burned all =
connections to that which prevented our further evolution, and we are = free from the wheel of repetition (called samsara by Gautama Buddha).=20
As someone once wrote:
Been doing the same things life after life;=20
I've done it before, but it wasn't so right.=20 The same kind of people still knock on my door,=20
but soon they won't find me here anymore.
Packing my bags, gonna let go, Leaving the things I don't need anymore.
It's the final step on a long, long road. Finishing up, it's time to go.
Saying good-bye to nasty habits,
Bidding adieu to all that's untruth, Adios to my old amigos,
Arrivederci, I'm starting anew. I'll be flying high and moving free.
With nothing to bind me and nothing to lose, Ain't singing the transmutation blues.
I've canceled my ticked for the wrong destination.
I'm burning the bridges to the land of temptation. I've found the path that's narrow and straight.
I'm changing my ways before it's to late. I've seen the way I want to be.
I've seen the light inside of me. I'm ready to surrender, ready to release,
Eliminate the thoughts that rob me of my peace.
With nothing to bind me, and nothing to lose, I'm singing the freedom song today.
>Yes, I think I comprehend this. I have come to call it such as 'just
>sitting', or 'just seeing', to observe without judgment of or >interaction with what I'm observing, and waiting for what is revealed.
>Removing limitations imposed by judgements, expectations, movtitations, >desire for outcome, etc. To realize that to think to 'know' closes to
>possiblities.=20
Yes, you describe Jnana Yoga.
Do You want a mirror ? Just look at these very moment - with respect.
> I think this is where I now strive. i have, however, through my life =
expereinces, something of an advantage in understadning this, becasue my = own mother disintegrated mentally in mid life, into classic Multiple =
Personality disorder, and i can see exactly how what happened to her = realted to this, and of her state as it began to happen to her, she, =
too, had reached this point. I also have come to much understand of how, = why, where, she was unable to negotiate this passage safely. It is one =
of the things in my life i see as related to what I speak of about that = dream i had, of going into the pit to find my pearl of compassion. What =
happened to her was a terrible grief for me, and somewhere, I did not = then know where, I still found compassion for her, even though she =
became quite abusive. I look back and it seemed she worked very hard to = make others draw away and hate her, some thought she was kinder to =
me,since i stayed with her to the end, but no, just the oppostie, she = was !
probably worse toward me, because now I've come to see how hard some = part of her was tryng to turn me away, make me, too abandone her, hate =
her, yet she could not. I did not. For even then, without knowing why or = how i knew, it was something in her that hated herself, that was trying =
to hurt HER, that tried to drive every one away.=20
I admire your attitude!
> > Should he fail, through cowardice, in making these self-anihilation > complete, he is nevertheless pushed into the ABYSS. But instead of =
beeing > reborn from the tomb on the other side, in order to be one Self as one =
never > have been before, he DIVES into the ABYSS, hiding the elements around =
the > Ego as if isolated from the Universe, and becomes a *dark brother*, a =
*black > magician*.
> > >And yet is that dark brother not the opposite polarity to the light
>brother? Did not such as my mther's falling into that abyss and = becoming
>a 'dark brother', she contribute to the opposite polarity within me, to >become a white brother? Was not the degree of her darkness instrumental
>in developing the degree of the light within me, as her efforts to >alienate me grew greater, so did my strngth in overcome them grow
>stronger in response? Was not by her suffering in the darkness, my >growth into the light put to test, in the sense of as the steel is
>tested in the fire to make it stronger?
I use the word *dark brothers*, because their mechanisms of self-defense = prevents them for both giving and receiving light. It's just like Pink =
Floyd's movie *The Wall*, where the person therein builded large = protection mechanisms around himself in order to not get hurt. A wall, =
due to traumatic experiences. But instead of protecting him - it = destroyed him.
>> Our conscious mind is like a torch. It enlightens a very small area, =
and the >> surrounding environment is darkness. In order to understand esoteric =
stuff, >> we must move the torch, move the assemblage point of consciousness.=20
> >Yes, as one must move with the small lamp through the dark cavern to =
see >all that is there to be seen. I've come to some level of grasp of the
>concept of assemblage point, through study of shaminic principles. It >related to the point within the cosmic consciousness from which we
>percieve. I still struggle with quite a bit of a sense of >'displacement', feel 'out of sync' often, as if I'm walking halfway
>between two realms, two awarenesses, I have learned much in how to >overcome that, but am still much working at integrating into myself =
what >i have learned. Make what I 'know', to be as i 'am'. A part of my state
>of being.
Correct.
>i seem to have developed some level of being able to move between these >states within my brain, and yet retain conscious wareness, that
>'observer' state. It is something of a dissassociative ability, it >seems. But i seem to have pretty good conscious control over it, am =
able >to shift rather easily and quickly at will. this seems from what I =
read, >not common, this ability to move so easily and quickly between these
>states. But I seem to have developed it early in life, so it is >diffiuctl for me to comprehend how difficult it may be for others.=20
Yes, detachment, can sometime cause *foggy* states of mind. This is one =
of the two potensial pitfalls in meditation. If Kundalini reach the head = and stay there for a long time, *all energy up there*, it can result in =
considering the physical world as something alien, uninteresting - in = short what have been termed psychosises. On the other hand, if ALL the =
energy goes downwards, without anything going upwards, we detach so much = from our physical body as to develope severe diseases.
Therefore, I use Kriya Yoga as a balancing factor in order to let the =
energy ROTATE. The Chinese Yin/Yang symbol actually describes Kriya Yoga = in a single symbol! The water flows upwards the beach, giving strength =
and masculine qualities..... Then it returns slowly, with rest and = feminine, womanlike qualities.... Upwards, and downwards... The =
Ying/Yang symbol shows two drops of water, and the inner circles within = each of them is the Pearl of Compassion which circulates.
>> While Kundalini moves towards UNITY, the Pearl of Compassion moves =
towards >> DIVERSITY when it - and our ego - becomes splintered into Ten =
thousand >> Pieces during crucifixion, but it's only Ajna and Sahashrara in =
cooperation >> which can ressurect the new-born child of the High Self.
>=20 >I'm not clear here on what is meant by this 'diversity'.
> >Also, i am uneducated in the terms 'Ajna' and 'sahashrara'. Could you
>explain?
Diversity is Creation, the Big Bang, our ego beeing splintered... The = cross of energies causes *Unity in Diversity*, one of the slogans of the =
United States. Ajna and sahashrara are the pineal and the pituitary = glands.
>Could you define 'Jivatman'?
It's the Spiritual essence of *hridaya chakra*, the 8-bladed SECONDARY =
hearth chakra (not the 12-bladed Anahata chakra). Hrdaya means *beauty* = and was symbolized by the Queens Chamber in Great Pyramide. When the =
fourth and last *blade* of the root chakra *matures* - so to say - these = Chakra becomes the center from which we can control the freewill =
rotations and movement of the pranic body, that part of the aura which = keeps us alive.
> >The third eye Chakra is a center of a cosmic mirror game. Our Holy =
Guardian >> Angel is a phase-shifting reflection, a mirror of ourselves as we =
comes from >> the physical world. We think about ourselves in terms of Past and =
Future, >> instead of the Eternal NOW,
> >the NOW being the point of consciousness, the surface of the mirror, =
the >neutral pivot point between the polarities?
Yes.
>> In the black magic, =93left-hand=94 rituals of Tantra, on the other =
hand, >> they renounce every tabus, breaks every laws of compulsion. They =
DRINK from >> the Grail. They are no more total givers of themselves, but mean =
hucksters. >> They exchange gold for dross. They sell their higher powers for =
gross and >> temporary benefit. Through the conscious practice of breaking every =
tabu, >> through BLASPHEMY, they seek Gnosis or Liberation.
> >I understand that concept. those that think to seek 'freedom' by
>demanding, taking, to themselves 'right' to be 'above' the unity, = others
>within the all. they in truth give honor and power to the laws of the >darkness, by their giving it respect and recognition in their taking to
>themselves right to break it. analogy: the person bound under laws does >not break a law because he fears consequences and accepts power over =
him >by source of the law, the person enlightened does not offend in that =
law >becasue it is not in his being to work that offense, even if there were
>no power of law over him, the one that has taken the dark path >discovered there is no power over him, that can srtop him from doing as
>he chooses, and seeks his own power by deliberately offending in that >law.=20
Correct.
>> Instead of becoming a neophyte, and gradually obtaining
>> esoteric knowledge through a regular initiation, an ADAM, or man, = using his
>> intuitional faculties, and, prompted by the Serpent - Woman and = matter -
>> tastes of the Three of Knowledge - the esoteric or secret doctrine - >> UNLAWFULLY"
> >By doing so without humility? To become not in unity and harmony with
>the powers, but to use them, have power over them, at his selfish >command? To move from being under the powers, commanded by the powers,
>instead of to unite in harmony with the powers, to become over, above, >to have commnad over, the powers?=20
Sorry, I was unprecise here. I actually refered to the secret doctrine =
called "Yar-gi-sang-thal-chen-po", The *Direct Way Upwards*, which is = kept as *top secret* due to the extreme dangers these Initiation process =
implies. It was *unlawfully* because it was dangerous, not because it's = the black way.
>While we seem to use for those such as I the term 'spontaneous
>awakening' the more i learn and look back upon me mife, it has been >anything BUT 'effortless'. It was happening, i was traveling the path
>toward enlightenment, even if I did not know it as a deliberate, >methocical course I had under taken. I was 'led' through it by a
>guidance from the spirit. While I only recntly learend of these terms >and teachings, and became aware of what 'awakening' is about, I had =
been >traveling the path all my life. I just didn't know the name of it! Ot
>the various initiations I passed throgh, just thought of them as the >trials of life, and my life learning process.=20
There exist a secret tradition in China and Tibet, emphasizing these =
sudden Liberation, as mentioned above. It's almost unknown; only a few = written remains mentions it.

+++++++++++++++
Amanda, mumblecatATnospamangelfire.com
January 15, 2000 10:10 PM
>>What a coincidence it is, that I at the present >> time translates the *Saddharmapundarika Sutra*, the *White Lotus =
>Sutra*=20 >> into Norwegian!
> >May I ask where you're going to publish these translations ?
>Or are they for personal use only ?
It's for personal use.
> > But in order to succeed in these UNITY, our old fragmented ego must = die,
> > beeing absorbed by a higher unity. The Choice is given, whether to=20 > > destroy
> > the Ego, and give up ones Life, extending it to Universal Life, or=20 > >whether
> >he making protection mechanisms around the Ego and abide therein. >
>Is it as they say the entire ocean trying to fill up in the single >drop of water ?
It means that the lower ego no longer is the *center*, but reborn as a =
satelite around the High Self. We no longer act out of the = *ego-perspective* but from the highest perspective possible.
But in a sense, it's only a movement of the assemblage point of =
consciousness, since - actually, the ego ALLWAYS is a sattelite around = the I AM, while believing it is the center. It's a shift of the =
awareness.=20
> > In order to achieve UNITY, in order to CROSS THE ABYSS, one must > > emancipate from thought by putting each idea against its opposite, =
and > >refuse to prefer either.
> >I think one may dive into the single concepts and tear the
>single concepts apart, thus avoiding the divisory aspects of >these concepts.
> >I must say I'm afraid of this abyss, or the vortex as it appears to me.
> > > Should he fail, through cowardice, in making these self-anihilation
> > complete, he is nevertheless pushed into the ABYSS.=20 >
>Yes, that's what it feels like. >The process us unstoppable and it feels like there is a death
>to die, a leap to be leapt. >I thought self annihilation was no problem, but it turn out it
>may be. At any rate there is fear. >I have heard of others talking about this fear.
>Maybe I only have a small fear, maybe this is not the final leap ? >
>Or maybe the vortex is not really a vortex but a little step ? >
>Even though I deeply feel that the Self is always present, >giving up the little self is difficult.
> >In sleep, the little self encounters the big Self and even though
>they are the same, big Self is so big and sees and is >everything,
>little self tries to hide from this infinite presence, >squirms under the light of the=20
>knowledge of the big Self like a fish on land >
>It is worse knowing that self may be pushed across the abyss >even when not wanting to. I feel camped up by the abyss and
>trying to stall, but unable to go back where I came from. >
>Maybe this is all ritualistic resistance ?
Everything wants to live, whatsoever. Good things wants to live. Bad = things wants to live. Everything that exist wants to be exactly as it =
is, it seems. Even physical diseases can return, because the rest of the = body have *get used of the disease*. Resistance is another name for =
blockages in the chakra system.
Contemplating on these, we understand how we really are dependent of = things, situations, people - which in reality stagnate our own =
evolution. A good way to *burn the ties* is the violet flame.
>>But instead of beeing >> reborn from the tomb on the other side, in order to be one Self as =
one=20 >> never
>> have been before, he DIVES into the ABYSS, hiding the elements around =
>> the >> Ego as if isolated from the Universe, and becomes a *dark brother*, a =
>> *black magician*.
> >A fate worse than anything else ?
YES!
>> ordinary dreaming and the awake state. Therefore, the Maharishi =
movement >> talks about *resting clarity* during TM as *the fourth state of
>> consciousness* (actually the FIFTH), *turiya*, mentioned in the vedic =
>> books. >
>Is this the state of absolute consciosness ?
Yes.
>So the small self /must/ merge with the big Self ?
Yes.
>I think I'm afraid of the I AM which stands alone. >For the small self, standing alone equals loneliness.
>Of course, it cannot be like this as I AM is pure consciousness, >but again, small self makes ritual resistance.
> >OK, I'll sign off here.
> >Hope you will get back to me on this, Magne.
> >Best regards,
> >Amanda.
Yes, I came back with a HUGE posting (Sorry about the bandwith), but it =
was so many questions to answer.
BLESSINGS FROM NORWAY

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charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Dearl =
Jenell and=20 Amanda...
You = asked me several=20
questions, and I decided to answer them in one single=20 posting.
&nbsp; Jenell, &lt;anglfthrATnospamiamerica.net&gt;
January 15, 2000 5:42 PM
&nbsp; &gt;Thank you, Magne,=20
for also this latest posting. It too, and still what i&gt;work over = on your=20
first, is prooving of great benefit to me. It is&gt;helping my=20 understadnigns, not only of my self, my life, but things =
I've&gt;encountered=20 among others in this life, and even something of my =
'life&gt;mission', I=20 suppose one would call it. &gt;&gt;Considering upon the dream I =
related,=20 about going down into that pit, I&gt;note several interesting =
things, and=20 these things coincide with many&gt;other dreams I have=20
had.&gt;&gt;While there are two possible directions presented in = the=20
material you&gt;give for what happens when we encounter the abyss, = either=20
crossing it&gt;safely, or falling into it to our destruction, in my = dream, a=20
third&gt;direction occurred. &nbsp;
Yes there are a third direction. After = all, the=20
Pearl falling downwards after the *waterline* is established, is - ipso = facto -=20
a DIVING into the Abyss. However, the fall of the Pearl, smashing our = lower ego=20
into ten thousand pieces when hitting the pineal gland, must be combined = with=20
the New-born UNITY of the waterline established in store. Otherwise, we = would=20
not be reborned on the other side. It is the PEARL that shall dive into = the=20
Abyss, not our Ego. &nbsp;
In the mystery schools in Ancient Egypt, = the=20
*death*, the temporarily removal of the prana-body - that part of our = auric=20
envelope which keeps us alive - was symbolized by Osiris beeing cut into = pieces=20
by a sword, while the Goddess Isis was putting him together again. These =
*reconstruction* of the empty shells of our previously, social made ego, = would=20
not possible without the previously established UNITY between the pineal = and=20
pituitary glands. &nbsp;
&gt;In = the dream of=20
the pit I related here, I did go down into the pit, but&gt;i did not = fall=20
into it, I went down willing, and curious. In the&gt;community at = the bottom=20
of it, I was as an abserver, no one paid much&gt;notice to me, I = just=20
wandered about, observing. As the pit began to&gt;cllapse, I was not =
destroyed there, but immediately lifted up and out of&gt;the pit, to = observe=20
from that vantage point, the continuing collapse,&gt;and to feel = great=20
concern, compassion, for those trapped down there at&gt;the bottom = of the=20
pit. &gt;&gt;now, I have had all my life, and most powerfully in = the=20
past few years,&gt;many very vivd, strongly emotional dreams in = which the=20
'theme' was in&gt;some way my 'rescuing'or 'setting free' something = that was=20
being&gt;oppressed, held under burden, bondage, for someone else's = gain.=20
Once a&gt;horse, being beaten as it staggered beneath a huge, too = heavy=20
burden on&gt;it's back, in another, a small bird that was struggling = to fly=20
with a&gt;big gaudy costume strapped to it, people following behind = it,=20
cheering&gt;at it's efforts, who got very angry at me for releasing = th=20
creature from&gt;it's burden, and letting it rest a bit before = letting it=20
fly away free,&gt;etc. They were insisting the bird was better for = the=20
costume it had been&gt;carryng, without it, it was just a plain = brown bird.=20
&gt;&gt;In what you write, you speak of seeking a pearl of = compassion.=20
In the&gt;dream about that pit, the abyss, it seems to me that I = descended=20
into&gt;the pit to observe those down there, to 'know' them as being =
people&gt;there, ordinary people, and then, as the destruction came, = I was=20
lifted&gt;up, to feel compassion for them, which I would not have, = had i=20
not&gt;journeyed down there and seen them there, known there were = people=20
down&gt;there? &nbsp;
Excactly. When the=20 Pearl dives downwards, it isn't a personal matter only. It affects =
thousands of=20 people with the same background, problems, situation etc. as yourself. =
It is a=20 diving into the astral planes in order to rescue those beeing entrapped =
there.=20 We are all ONE / WON in the Spiritual Realm.
&nbsp; &gt;This =
relates also=20 so very well with some patterns in my life experience.&gt;i have =
watched,=20 been personally connected to, loved, so very many that&gt;HAVE =
destroyed=20 themselves, with selfishness and anger and self pride,&gt;etc, all =
the=20 negative things, watched them become bitter, mean spirited&gt;people =
that=20 drove others away, often wondering mself why i continued to&gt;take =
the=20 abuse from them i did to be able to stay by them. And yet, =
i&gt;still loved=20 them, cared about them, sorrowed, even grieved, for what =
i&gt;watched them=20 do to themselves, and being unable to help them see what&gt;they =
were doing=20 to themselves.
&nbsp; Yes, but =
You are not=20 the conscience of others free will.&gt;I think that dream of the =
pit was=20 the symbol of where and how i have&gt;found my pearl of compassion. =
Was it=20 not also written that Jesus, in the&gt;hours of his 'death', in =
which He lay=20 in the grave, the tomb, following&gt;His crucifixion, visited those =
in the=20 abode of the dead, before being&gt;ressurected? And does that not =
carry to=20 the tomb is the womb, as by his&gt;descent into those depths perhaps =
for=20 Him, as myself in my life, make&gt;those depths as the womb in which =
the=20 seed was placed, to develope,&gt;until the birth of compassion for =
those one=20 has seen there, is born into&gt;life?
&nbsp; The Pearl is the Pearl of Creation, a way to manifest ideas. In the =
esoteric doctrine, a certain image is used about these process of=20
Creation. &nbsp;
Before the Creation, the *Sun Angel* KEEPS IT'S BREATH - a hint of = the=20
magic practice therein. Everything *keeps is breath*, as we say in the = everyday=20
language, when waiting on the outcome of a coming incident of = importance.
&nbsp; Everything is Silence. Silence and darkness.... In these utter =
darkness and=20 Silence, the Pearl suddendly falls. It falls, and falls.....
And when it hits the bottom, in an explosion - voila ! - Creation = takes=20
place ! The horisontal bar of light in the head vibrates as a Bow, as = seen in=20
the sancrit-sign for &quot;OM&quot;. &nbsp;
This is creation, manifestation - the realization of your=20 *birth-vision*.
&nbsp; The diving of the Pearl into the =
*underground*,=20 into the dark caves of the tomb / womb, is a grounding process where =
Spiritual=20 ideas manifests - instead of beeing just dreams. Jesus spent 3 days in =
the tomb,=20 symbolizing the 3 states of consciousness (Delta,Theta,Alpha) *beneath* =
our=20 conscious state. And *the three faces of Eve* became Unified by his=20
ressurection. &nbsp;
As a benefice to = these number, it=20
should be noted that people with classical slit personality disorders, = developes=20
MORE than the three personalities emerging from the original split. This = is due=20
to what I wrote: &gt;The third eye Chakra is a center of a =
cosmic=20 mirror game. Our Holy Guardian Angel is a phase-shifting reflection, a =
mirror of=20 ourselves as we comes from the physical world. We think about ourselves =
in terms=20 of Past and Future, instead of the Eternal NOW, and these fragments, =
these=20 reflections, congregates into a sort of meta-reality.
&nbsp; In fact, as the disease evolves, the third eye Chakra MIRRORS the =
three=20 personalities into six, etc.
&nbsp; +++++++++++++++++++++++
&nbsp;
Jenell, &lt;anglfthrATnospamiamerica.net&gt;
January 15, 2000 9:15 PM &nbsp;
&gt;&gt;Dear Jenell. In your posting on = Jan 14th,=20
you mentioned *polarity shifts*. &gt;&gt;It was entitled *Reflections=20
about&gt;&gt; the Holy Grail* - and became reading stuff within = several=20
secret societies.&gt; Sounds interesting. if you can locate a copy, = could=20
you send it to me or &gt; tell me where I could obtain =
one?&nbsp; Do you know which such societies used=20
&gt; it? I am in membership within a = group=20
involved in esoteric, mystic =
&gt; matters, the White Eagle = Brotherhood, would=20
perhaps you know of them, &gt; and would perhaps it be known to those of the inner =
Brotherhood among=20
&gt; them? &nbsp;
Yes, I know several persons within those = circles=20
using it. But I do not feel any needs revealing their existence. Some of = their=20
means of Initiation is very dangerous, and I do not trust the garanty of =
*religious freedom* expressed by our Constitution. They are groups = without outer=20
organization, without known names. They prefer to work in silence, as a = silent=20
undercurrent in our present culture. One of the *founders* - now = departed - made=20
long-enduring jorneys across Europe, gaining mystic knowledge from = teachers=20
departed before his return. Among his written remains - and tape = recorded=20
speeches - are something he called the *Book of Wisdom* - which later = appeared=20
to be fragments of the Books of *Lam-Rim* and *Dzyan*, which Blavatsky = was=20
blamed to refering to as a *fiction*, a *forgery* by orientalists not = able to=20
identify it. My own paper, however, was an attempt to put words on my = own,=20
personal experiences during my Initiation of death and rebirth. It was a = way of=20
*putting the fragments together again* after the Journey into an altered = - and=20
very dangerous - state of consciousness.&gt;&gt; Today, only remniscents, fragments remains = - some in=20
Norwegian, some in&gt;&gt; english - and I've actually spend some = time with=20
reconstruction attempts.&gt;&gt; *Reconstruting fragments* ! A nice = analogy=20
to the work done in the time&gt;&gt; period succeeding an Initiation =
!&gt;&gt;I understand what you say here quite well. i have for = some=20
years now&gt;been led to reconstruct the events of my life, write = them and=20
as I have&gt;and do, much is revealed to me of the significants of = each of=20
them, the&gt;effects on me, the lessons, the stages of growth, I've = passed=20
through.&gt;It is something as the reading of a really deep = meaningful book=20
the&gt;second and thrid time. The first only carried you across the=20 surface,&gt;the later readings take you layer by layer deeper=20
within. &nbsp;
Precisely! &gt; &gt; Anyway, two poles: Yin =
and Yang,=20 masculine and feminine.... &gt; &gt;&gt; two chakras in the heads=20
establishes a new Ying-Yang polarity, the&gt; &gt;&gt; masculine and =
feminine aspects of the primordial force, *Father and&gt; &gt;&gt;=20 Mother*.&gt; &gt;I'm seeing, it seems, something of a very broad =
concept=20 of this concept&gt;of polarity shift, or reversal, as in the =
opposite images=20 of the mirror,&gt;from a center point, or pivotal point, at what we =
would=20 call the&gt;mirror's surface. Equating the mirror's surface, that =
pivotal=20 point&gt;between,to the balance point at which all opposites meet =
and=20 interact.&gt;I'm seeingit something as the number '0', from which in =
one=20 direction&gt;one counts in 'positive numbers', in the other, =
'negative=20 numbers', but&gt;as one moves from the '0', we still count those =
going in=20 the negative&gt;direction in a postive term. This concept is hard to =
put=20 into words. I&gt;am seeng it as that of the yin/yang, =
masculine/feminine,=20 adding and&gt;taking away, coming and going, the balance point, the =
pivotal=20 point,&gt;being that at which each oposite 'begins'. I am seeing, it =
seems,=20 in&gt;this pivotal shifting of polarities, something of as if as we =
proceed=20 as&gt;one 'seeking' something, the shift to the opposite to be as =
then=20 to&gt;become the one that is 'giving', or has available to give the=20
seeker,&gt;that which is sought, and in the third point, what you = are=20
calling the&gt;'son', the becoming the thing sought itself. = Examples, to=20
seek love, as&gt;a negative state to love, a despostory for love, = then as to=20
give love,&gt;as a postive state to love, a source of love, then to = become=20
love&gt;itself. I don't know that I am able to convey clearly what I = try to=20
say&gt;here. &nbsp;
It's almost impossible to put words on = the=20
*Changeless continuity*. I've used the phrase *the still-point* to = express these=20
undefinable Tao or Zero: A point of rest which - however, never becomes = fully=20
developed. In meditation we can rest in our own awareness, our own pure=20 consciousness, as observers of the Ever-evolving IS. And in this point =
of rest,=20 it is not emptiness, but something ever evolving. When we have received =
clarity=20 about something, then - *still* - there are more! A never ending =
process, the=20 *still point*......... It's difficult to put names on in, since .... =
every time=20 we give it a name, a definition - it has changed ! And doesn't fit into =
our=20 conceptual world of relative measures (maya)=20
!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &gt;In much in=20 dreams, and writings, i have&gt;been perciving my present state of =
being as=20 something as that of the&gt;catapillar transforming into the =
butterfly. Of=20 there being a point at&gt;which the catapillar no longer exists, has =
'died',=20 but yet, the process&gt;is not yet advanced enough for it to be a=20
recognizable butterfly. that&gt;point in between, I have been = expereincing=20
as something of an 'ego-less'&gt;state, very disorienting. And = expereincing=20
a deep grieving I did not at&gt;first understand, but realized it is = the new=20
being I am emergin as, the&gt;primitive, forming butterfly, that is = grieving=20
the death of the&gt;catapillar, the one I WAS, that has died, is = being=20
disintegrated to be&gt;reintegrated into the body of the butterfly = to be.=20
Yes, I can see how&gt;that is actually the point of my being = confronted with=20
crossing the&gt;abyss. And of having to make the choice, to go back = and=20
attempt to&gt;re-animate the catapillar, or proceed in becoming the=20 butterfly. I think&gt;I have already passed that point, though I'm =
still=20 dealing with a lot of&gt;the painful aspects of letting my identity =
of the=20 catapillar go, mainly&gt;in it's 'place' it had in this world, the =
people=20 the catapillar related&gt;to, and that related to the =
catapillar,&nbsp; that=20 the butterfly cannot.&gt;Becoming the vbutterfly meaans of =
neccessity=20 breaking ties with much in&gt;the world that was that of the =
catapillar.=20
&nbsp; The caterpillar flying out of its =
cocoon, is a=20 widely used image of the whole process. The caterpillar is FREE. The =
Violet=20 Flame has burned all connections to that which prevented our further =
evolution,=20 and we are free from the wheel of repetition (called samsara by Gautama =
Buddha).=20
&nbsp; As someone once wrote:
&nbsp; Been doing the same things life after =
life;=20
I've done it before, but it wasn't so = right.=20
The same kind of people still knock on =
my door,=20
but soon they won't find me here=20 anymore.
&nbsp; Packing my bags, gonna let =
go, Leaving the things I don't need=20
anymore. It's the final step on a long, long=20
road. Finishing up, it's time to =
go. &nbsp;
Saying good-bye to nasty = habits,
Bidding adieu to all that's = untruth,
Adios to my old amigos, Arrivederci, I'm starting =
anew. I'll be flying high and moving =
free. With nothing to bind me and nothing to=20
lose, Ain't singing the transmutation=20
blues. &nbsp;
I've canceled my ticked for the wrong=20 destination.
I'm burning the bridges to the land of=20 temptation.
I've found the path that's narrow and=20 straight.
I'm changing my ways before it's to=20 late.
I've seen the way I want to = be.
I've seen the light inside of = me.
I'm ready to surrender, ready to=20 release,
Eliminate the thoughts that rob me of my =
peace. &nbsp;
With nothing to bind me, and nothing to=20 lose,
I'm singing the freedom song = today.
&nbsp; &gt;Yes, I think I comprehend this. I =
have come to=20 call it such as 'just&gt;sitting', or 'just seeing', to observe =
without=20 judgment of or&gt;interaction with what I'm observing, and waiting =
for what=20 is revealed.&gt;Removing limitations imposed by judgements, =
expectations,=20 movtitations,&gt;desire for outcome, etc. To realize that to think =
to 'know'=20 closes to&gt;possiblities.
&nbsp; Yes, you describe Jnana =
Yoga. &nbsp;
Do You want a mirror ? Just look at these very moment - with=20
respect.&gt; I think this is = where I now=20
strive. i have, however, through my life expereinces, something of an=20 advantage in understadning this, =
becasue my own=20 mother disintegrated mentally in mid life, into classic Multiple Personality disorder, and i can =
see exactly=20 how what happened to her realted to this, and of=20
her state as it began to happen to her, she, too, had reached this = point. I also=20
have come to much understand of how, = why, where,=20
she was unable to negotiate this passage safely. It is one of = the things in my life i see as related to what I =
speak of=20 about that dream i had, of going into the pit to find my pearl of compassion. What happened to her =
was a=20 terrible grief for me, and somewhere, I did not=20
then know where, I still found compassion for her, even though she = became quite=20
abusive. I look back and it seemed she = worked=20
very hard to make others draw away and hate her, some thought she = was kinder to me,since i stayed with her to the =
end, but no,=20 just the oppostie, she was !probably worse toward me, because now =
I've come=20 to see how hard some part of her was tryng to turn me away, make me, too abandone her, hate her, yet =
she could=20 not. I did not. For even then, without knowing=20
why or how i knew, it was something in her that hated herself, that was = trying=20
to hurt HER, that tried to drive every = one away.=20
&nbsp;
I admire your attitude! &nbsp;
&gt; &gt; Should he fail, through = cowardice, in=20
making these self-anihilation&gt; complete, he is nevertheless = pushed into=20
the ABYSS. But instead of beeing&gt; reborn from the tomb on the = other side,=20
in order to be one Self as one never&gt; have been before, he DIVES = into the=20
ABYSS, hiding the elements around the&gt; Ego as if isolated from = the=20
Universe, and becomes a *dark brother*, a *black&gt; = magician*.&gt;=20
&gt;&gt;And yet is that dark brother not the opposite polarity to = the=20
light&gt;brother? Did not such as my mther's falling into that abyss = and=20
becoming&gt;a 'dark brother', she contribute to the opposite = polarity within=20
me, to&gt;become a white brother? Was not the degree of her darkness =
instrumental&gt;in developing the degree of the light within me, as = her=20
efforts to&gt;alienate me grew greater, so did my strngth in = overcome them=20
grow&gt;stronger in response? Was not by her suffering in the = darkness,=20
my&gt;growth into the light put to test, in the sense of as the = steel=20
is&gt;tested in the fire to make it stronger? &nbsp;
I use the word *dark brothers*, because = their=20
mechanisms of self-defense prevents them for both giving and receiving = light.=20
It's just like Pink Floyd's movie *The Wall*, where the person therein = builded=20
large protection mechanisms around himself in order to not get hurt. A = wall, due=20
to traumatic experiences. But instead of protecting him - it destroyed=20 him.&gt;&gt; Our conscious =
mind is like=20 a torch. It enlightens a very small area, and the&gt;&gt; =
surrounding=20 environment is darkness. In order to understand esoteric =
stuff,&gt;&gt; we=20 must move the torch, move the assemblage point of consciousness.=20
&gt;&gt;Yes, as one must move with the small lamp through the = dark=20
cavern to see&gt;all that is there to be seen. I've come to some = level of=20
grasp of the&gt;concept of assemblage point, through study of = shaminic=20
principles. It&gt;related to the point within the cosmic = consciousness from=20
which we&gt;percieve. I still struggle with quite a bit of a sense=20 of&gt;'displacement', feel 'out of sync' often, as if I'm walking=20
halfway&gt;between two realms, two awarenesses, I have learned much = in how=20
to&gt;overcome that, but am still much working at integrating into = myself=20
what&gt;i have learned. Make what I 'know', to be as i 'am'. A part = of my=20
state&gt;of being. &nbsp;
Correct.&gt;i seem to have developed some level of being = able to move=20
between these&gt;states within my brain, and yet retain conscious = wareness,=20
that&gt;'observer' state. It is something of a dissassociative = ability,=20
it&gt;seems. But i seem to have pretty good conscious control over = it, am=20
able&gt;to shift rather easily and quickly at will. this seems from = what I=20
read,&gt;not common, this ability to move so easily and quickly = between=20
these&gt;states. But I seem to have developed it early in life, so = it=20
is&gt;diffiuctl for me to comprehend how difficult it may be for = others.=20
&nbsp;
Yes, detachment, can sometime cause = *foggy* states=20
of mind. This is one of the two potensial pitfalls in meditation. If = Kundalini=20
reach the head and stay there for a long time, *all energy up there*, it = can=20
result in considering the physical world as something alien, = uninteresting - in=20
short what have been termed psychosises. On the other hand, if ALL the = energy=20
goes downwards, without anything going upwards, we detach so much from = our=20
physical body as to develope severe diseases. &nbsp;
Therefore, I use Kriya Yoga as a = balancing factor=20
in order to let the energy ROTATE. The Chinese Yin/Yang symbol actually=20 describes Kriya Yoga in a single symbol! The water flows upwards the =
beach,=20 giving strength and masculine qualities..... Then it returns slowly, =
with rest=20 and feminine, womanlike qualities.... Upwards, and downwards... The =
Ying/Yang=20 symbol shows two drops of water, and the inner circles within each of =
them is=20 the Pearl of Compassion which circulates.
&gt;&gt; While Kundalini moves = towards UNITY,=20
the Pearl of Compassion moves towards&gt;&gt; DIVERSITY when it - = and our=20
ego - becomes splintered into Ten thousand&gt;&gt; Pieces during=20 crucifixion, but it's only Ajna and Sahashrara in =
cooperation&gt;&gt; which=20 can ressurect the new-born child of the High Self.&gt; &gt;I'm =
not clear=20 here on what is meant by this 'diversity'.&gt;&gt;Also, i am =
uneducated=20 in the terms 'Ajna' and 'sahashrara'. Could =
you&gt;explain? &nbsp;
Diversity is Creation, the Big Bang, our = ego=20
beeing splintered... The cross of energies causes *Unity in Diversity*, = one of=20
the slogans of the United States. Ajna and sahashrara are the pineal and = the=20
pituitary glands.&gt;Could you = define=20
'Jivatman'? &nbsp;
It's the Spiritual essence of *hridaya = chakra*,=20
the 8-bladed SECONDARY hearth chakra (not the 12-bladed Anahata chakra). = Hrdaya=20
means *beauty* and was symbolized by the Queens Chamber in Great = Pyramide. When=20
the fourth and last *blade* of the root chakra *matures* - so to say - = these=20
Chakra becomes the center from which we can control the freewill = rotations and=20
movement of the pranic body, that part of the aura which keeps us=20 alive.&gt; &gt;The third eye =
Chakra is a=20 center of a cosmic mirror game. Our Holy Guardian&gt;&gt; Angel is a =
phase-shifting reflection, a mirror of ourselves as we comes =
from&gt;&gt;=20 the physical world. We think about ourselves in terms of Past and=20
Future,&gt;&gt; instead of the Eternal NOW,&gt;&gt;the NOW = being the=20
point of consciousness, the surface of the mirror, the&gt;neutral = pivot=20
point between the polarities? &nbsp;
Yes.&gt;&gt; In the black magic, =
&ldquo;left-hand&rdquo; rituals of Tantra, on the other = hand,&gt;&gt; they=20
renounce every tabus, breaks every laws of compulsion. They DRINK=20 from&gt;&gt; the Grail. They are no more total givers of themselves, =
but=20 mean hucksters.&gt;&gt; They exchange gold for dross.&nbsp; They =
sell their=20 higher powers for gross and&gt;&gt; temporary benefit. Through the =
conscious=20 practice of breaking every tabu,&gt;&gt; through BLASPHEMY, they =
seek Gnosis=20 or Liberation.&gt;&gt;I understand that concept. those that =
think to=20 seek 'freedom' by&gt;demanding, taking, to themselves 'right' to be =
'above'=20 the unity, others&gt;within the all. they in truth give honor and =
power to=20 the laws of the&gt;darkness, by their giving it respect and =
recognition in=20 their taking to&gt;themselves right to break it. analogy: the person =
bound=20 under laws does&gt;not break a law because he fears consequences and =
accepts=20 power over him&gt;by source of the law, the person enlightened does =
not=20 offend in that law&gt;becasue it is not in his being to work that =
offense,=20 even if there were&gt;no power of law over him, the one that has =
taken the=20 dark path&gt;discovered there is no power over him, that can srtop =
him from=20 doing as&gt;he chooses, and seeks his own power by deliberately =
offending in=20 that&gt;law.
&nbsp; Correct.
&nbsp; &gt;&gt; Instead of becoming a neophyte, =
and=20 gradually obtaining&gt;&gt; esoteric knowledge through a regular =
initiation,=20 an ADAM, or man, using his&gt;&gt; intuitional faculties, and, =
prompted by=20 the Serpent - Woman and matter -&gt;&gt; tastes of the Three of =
Knowledge -=20 the esoteric or secret doctrine -&gt;&gt; =
UNLAWFULLY&quot;&gt;&gt;By=20 doing so without humility? To become not in unity and harmony =
with&gt;the=20 powers, but to use them, have power over them, at his =
selfish&gt;command? To=20 move from being under the powers, commanded by the =
powers,&gt;instead of to=20 unite in harmony with the powers, to become over, above,&gt;to have =
commnad=20 over, the powers?
&nbsp; Sorry, I was unprecise here. I actually =
refered to=20 the secret doctrine called &quot;Yar-gi-sang-thal-chen-po&quot;, The =
*Direct Way=20 Upwards*, which is kept as *top secret* due to the extreme dangers these =
Initiation process implies. It was *unlawfully* because it was =
dangerous, not=20 because it's the black way.&gt;While we=20
seem to use for those such as I the term 'spontaneous&gt;awakening' = the more=20
i learn and look back upon me mife, it has been&gt;anything BUT=20 'effortless'. It was happening, i was traveling the path&gt;toward=20
enlightenment, even if I did not know it as a = deliberate,&gt;methocical=20
course I had under taken. I was 'led' through it by a&gt;guidance = from the=20
spirit. While I only recntly learend of these terms&gt;and = teachings, and=20
became aware of what 'awakening' is about, I had been&gt;traveling = the path=20
all my life. I just didn't know the name of it! Ot&gt;the various=20 initiations I passed throgh, just thought of them as the&gt;trials =
of life,=20 and my life learning process.
&nbsp; There exist a secret tradition in China =
and Tibet,=20 emphasizing these sudden Liberation, as mentioned above. It's almost =
unknown;=20 only a few written remains mentions it.
&nbsp; +++++++++++++++
&nbsp; Amanda, mumblecatATnospamangelfire.com
January 15, 2000 = 10:10=20
PM &nbsp;
&gt;&gt;What a coincidence it is, that I = at the=20
present&gt;&gt; time translates the *Saddharmapundarika Sutra*, the = *White=20
Lotus &gt;Sutra* &gt;&gt; into Norwegian!&gt;&gt;May I ask = where=20
you're going to publish these translations ?&gt;Or are they for = personal use=20
only ? &nbsp;
It's for personal = use.&gt; &gt; But in order to succeed in these UNITY, =
our old=20 fragmented ego must die,&gt; &gt; beeing absorbed by a higher unity. =
The=20 Choice is given, whether to &gt; &gt; destroy&gt; &gt; the Ego, =
and give=20 up ones Life, extending it to Universal Life, or &gt; =
&gt;whether&gt;=20 &gt;he making protection mechanisms around the Ego and abide=20
therein.&gt;&gt;Is it as they say the entire ocean trying to = fill up in=20
the single&gt;drop of water ? &nbsp;
It means that the lower ego no longer is = the=20
*center*, but reborn as a satelite around the High Self. We no longer = act out of=20
the *ego-perspective* but from the highest perspective = possible.
&nbsp; But in a sense, it's only a movement of =
the=20 assemblage point of consciousness, since - actually, the ego ALLWAYS is =
a=20 sattelite around the I AM, while believing it is the center. It's a =
shift of the=20 awareness. &gt; &gt; In order =
to achieve=20 UNITY, in order to CROSS THE ABYSS, one must&gt; &gt; emancipate =
from=20 thought by putting each idea against its opposite, and&gt; =
&gt;refuse to=20 prefer either.&gt;&gt;I think one may dive into the single =
concepts and=20 tear the&gt;single concepts apart, thus avoiding the divisory =
aspects=20 of&gt;these concepts.&gt;&gt;I must say I'm afraid of this =
abyss, or=20 the vortex as it appears to me.&gt;&gt; &gt; Should he fail, =
through=20 cowardice, in making these self-anihilation&gt; &gt; complete, he is =
nevertheless pushed into the ABYSS. &gt;&gt;Yes, that's what it =
feels=20 like.&gt;The process us unstoppable and it feels like there is a=20
death&gt;to die, a leap to be leapt.&gt;I thought self = annihilation was=20
no problem, but it turn out it&gt;may be. At any rate there is=20 fear.&gt;I have heard of others talking about this =
fear.&gt;Maybe I only=20 have a small fear, maybe this is not the final leap ?&gt;&gt;Or =
maybe=20 the vortex is not really a vortex but a little step =
?&gt;&gt;Even though=20 I deeply feel that the Self is always present,&gt;giving up the =
little self=20 is difficult.&gt;&gt;In sleep, the little self encounters the =
big Self=20 and even though&gt;they are the same, big Self is so big and sees =
and=20 is&gt;everything,&gt;little self tries to hide from this =
infinite=20 presence,&gt;squirms under the light of the &gt;knowledge of the =
big=20 Self like a fish on land&gt;&gt;It is worse knowing that self =
may be=20 pushed across the abyss&gt;even when not wanting to. I feel camped =
up by the=20 abyss and&gt;trying to stall, but unable to go back where I came=20
from.&gt;&gt;Maybe this is all ritualistic resistance = ?
&nbsp; Everything wants to live, whatsoever. =
Good things=20 wants to live. Bad things wants to live. Everything that exist wants to =
be=20 exactly as it is, it seems. Even physical diseases can return, because =
the rest=20 of the body have *get used of the disease*. Resistance is another name =
for=20 blockages in the chakra system.
&nbsp; Contemplating on these, we understand =
how we=20 really are dependent of things, situations, people - which in reality =
stagnate=20 our own evolution. A good way to *burn the ties* is the violet=20
flame.&gt;&gt;But instead of beeing&gt;&gt; reborn from the = tomb on=20
the other side, in order to be one Self as one &gt;&gt; = never&gt;&gt;=20
have been before, he DIVES into the ABYSS, hiding the elements around=20 &gt;&gt; the&gt;&gt; Ego as if isolated from the Universe, and =
becomes a=20 *dark brother*, a &gt;&gt; *black magician*.&gt;&gt;A fate =
worse=20 than anything else ?
&nbsp; YES!
&nbsp; &gt;&gt; ordinary dreaming and the awake =
state.=20 Therefore, the Maharishi movement&gt;&gt; talks about *resting =
clarity*=20 during TM as *the fourth state of&gt;&gt; consciousness* (actually =
the=20 FIFTH), *turiya*, mentioned in the vedic &gt;&gt; =
books.&gt;&gt;Is=20 this the state of absolute consciosness ?
&nbsp; Yes.&gt;So=20
the small self /must/ merge with the big Self ? &nbsp;
Yes.&gt;I think I'm afraid of = the I AM=20
which stands alone.&gt;For the small self, standing alone equals=20 loneliness.&gt;Of course, it cannot be like this as I AM is pure=20
consciousness,&gt;but again, small self makes ritual=20 resistance.&gt;&gt;OK, I'll sign off here.&gt;&gt;Hope =
you will=20 get back to me on this, Magne.&gt;&gt;Best=20
regards,&gt;&gt;Amanda. &nbsp;
Yes, I came back with a HUGE posting = (Sorry about=20
the bandwith), but it was so many questions to answer. &nbsp;
BLESSINGS FROM NORWAY &nbsp;
------=_NextPart_000_0040_01BF60A9.F55E22F0--

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