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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/12/09 22:45
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re. K List. Re- Sushumna
From: Jenell


On 1999/12/09 22:45, Jenell posted thus to the K-list:

Marion Hanvey wrote:
>
> Dear Jenell and List
> Thank you for your replies.
> The reason why I don't want pain, especially emotional pain(I don't want the
> other kind either) is that in pain you lose your dispassion.
> Pain throws you back into an egocentric way of experiencing the world, back
> in the forest of delusion.

an example of how things affect people differently. I FOUND the ability
to expereience dispassion through experience with pain. And it was pain
that led me away from egocentricism, and developed within me wyas of
better experiencing and recognizing reality, to free myself of delusion.
One is only passionate in response to pain until it reaches the breaking
point of one's endurance to fight it. Then one can accept and surrender
to it, and at that point, it loses it's power over you, as does what
ever was causing the pain.

  At least that is my experience. I know you
> should accept things with the power of the Self and that what comes will
> come and go away, but that can be very hard to hold on to sometimes when
> you're hurting so much, and in such a disbelieving way. (Hello Judas!!)
> That is what happened to me.

I'm sorry. Yes, I do know that place, too. But while it may be difficult
for you to understand, I wouldn't have when I was there, either, it was
actually MORE pain that brought me out of that. Much of the stimuli for
that pain is still there, but I've gone beyond it, become dispassionate
about/toward it, no longer allow it to gain strngth through my fighting
against it.
 

 Something came out of left field in a way that
> if asked about as a possibility I would have said it was impossible.
> Although the shock of trying to regain equilibrium sent me back on to the
> spiritual path, which I had left, so maybe there is something bigger here
> than what I know.

I was well on in my years bwefore God began to reeal to me just what I
had learend through my more difficult times, traumas I'd have never
thought to find anything 'good' in, that come out of them. But now I am
aware that it did. and much, I couldn't have, wouldn't have, learned,
gained, in any other way.

(Listen God, why couldn't you just have sent me a dream?)
> Mystress Angelique, I tried your grounding exercise and it was great.
> I felt grounded and calm and in control for the first time in 2 years.
> I then tried the other exercises, felt unbalanced again, and thought "sod
> this".

Each of us must find what works for us. there is obviously a lot of
difference.

I also tried your pinch test, and you're right. Whatever you resist
> will persist, hey?

Tie this thought into what I've said here about pain leading us to
dispassin.

> Jenell, I still think sushumna holds a key, otherwise why would the books
> say "sushumna is the nadi most beloved by the yogis"?

I'd not be the one to say on that, or try to explain what anyone else
speaks of their own expereicne. I can only speak from my own, and the
others expereiences I've become aware of. My own, and most of those I've
encountered, have been spontaneous awakenings, not involving any
deliberate 'path' toward raising 'k'. I'm coming to think there is a
vast difference between spontaneous awakenings, and those that involved
the Eastern disciplines with planned stages and such. Spontaneous
awakenings tend to be, it seems to me, usually pretty wild trips, but
often very fast and strong in the opening and progression, moving into
and through stages the students of Eastern studies take years, even
lifetimes to get through, in a matter of weeks or months. Maybe it's
that all those earlier stages have just been passing unnoticed for our
not knowing what they were, and it doesn't 'hit' us that something
incredible is happening until the mega-volt lightning bolt shoots
through us and suddenly, we are AWAKE! My own came very suddenly and
dramatically, I can pin point the very moment, and that's juyst what it
was like, a lightning bolt shooting through me, and as it did, it
flipped on the master switch. the shatki, electrical, energies,
paranormal phenomenon, etc., the really wild stuff, started fast and
powerfully, didn't even start to cool down for many months. I've now,
over three years later, only just begun to get a pretty good handle on
those aspects of it.

Now, in no way am I criticising your desire to avoid pain. But i think
what I, and others here, would mean to convey to you, is that in
arousing 'k', you are very much at risk of encountering just that, that
you CANNOT control it like that, to assure yourself of that. and once
aroused, we can't just take a sample and decide we don't want it after
all, box it up and send it back.

Do you think any of us that have experienced pain related to it PLANNED
that, CHOSE that?

Jenell

>

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