To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/12/08 09:58
Subject: [K-list] Holy Spirit and God, Within
From: Fredaann
On 1999/12/08 09:58, Fredaann posted thus to the K-list:
I have been away so I am a little behind, sorry.
>From the time I was a very young child, at least as young as 3 I have
known of a presence(?) of what 'I percieved' as a person, within me, not
outside of me, from Sunday School and such I came to know this 'person'
as what others refered to as the Holy Spirit. My reason for this
conclusion was the terminology and descriptions of what the Holy Spirit
does. ie, comfort, guide, uplift ect... a helper, a link to god.
and everyone of me has direct access to the 'ear' of whatever, whoever
this is.
When I was hurt, frightened, lost, I could talk to this 'person' and I
would find comfort.
When I was happy, excited, joyful, I could share and my happiness would
increase.
first this 'perosn' brings me to calm (wheather I am *over*joy*ed or in
dispair, calm is always the first sign that this 'person' is in
attendeance, although I know it is always there, I dont always walk with
it.
Sometimes there is a bigger/stronger 'person' in attendance, who 'I'
have dubbed god. Not as much as a comforter or protector or guide, but a
'grantor' bigger, indeed, but not separate from me or outside of me, I
have never felt truely alone.
I dont think I have ever been without these in attendance. Never have I
thought of these as 'comming onto or into' me, they have always been
with me. But I do get a sensation of being 'filled' when they are called
on, and amazing (to me) things happen when I am aware of having been
filled.
Perhaps these are just the goofy thoughts of a child all mixed up with
confusing adult explainations, and perhaps there are more worldly terms
and big unpronoucable words for these 'people' who reside within,
quite frankly, could be the devil for all I care! tricking my immature
little brain into believing I walk with god and spirit within.
oh well.
so be it.
This is how it has always worked for me. I dont always feel worthy of
the attentions of these persons, often I dont want to 'do' as they seem
to be suggesting I do, when I go with 'my will' I tend to loose ground,
and end up in crisis, asking for intervention.
these are those whom I speak when I pray. They ARE internal, not
external.
I know them as the Holy Spirit, and God.
they have a playmate whose name is karma, she is a bitch, and a whole
other story....
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