To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/12/08 05:38
Subject: [K-list] Clean and Pure
From: luz .
On 1999/12/08 05:38, luz . posted thus to the K-list:
Hmmm.. just felt moved to contribute to this, but from my experience it does
seem that both are possible and seperate, though (annoyingly) I lack the
vocabulary too... ah well.
I've always (instinctively) been on the earth path, to use your term,
Angelique. From a child was a big fan of wallowing in the dirt, failing to
see distinctions between pure and impure, sacred and profane, subtle and
gross, High and Low, blah blah. Seeing sacred energy in everything, getting
shakti from shit... Which got me in a lot of trouble through my life, that
complete inability to grok these distinctions, having to learn them
laboriously like a dyslexic child, assiduously, tongue in corner of mouth,
learning, learning, this is dirty, this is clean...
Anyway. When I was about 7 I was taken to a priest to cure asthma (my family
would normally have nothing to do with the church but it was a wild shot, a
just-in-case thing). I didn't like the priest, thought he was a liar and he
smelt weird. Whiskey and mothballs. So this unappealing old priest waves his
hands over me and I in my snotty little way am going 'what does he think he
looks like saying all that shite, god, the embarrassment...'
It's over and we're walking out of the church and this white energy comes
down from above, kind of gradual, I don't notice it really at first, till it
starts going really fast, stripping me, just like Maureen said it. I feel
like a lightbulb, with the shadows of all the cruel and crappy things I'd
did and said peeling off my surface, lifting out of me. Everything is gone.
I think about a really embarrassing thing I'd done to a friend, which I
still felt bad about, a betrayal which weighed on my diaphram when I thought
about it like I'd swallowed a cannonball, and nothing. It was like gone.
The strange thing about all of that is how it did /not/ fit in at all with
my ideas about god and the world at that age. I was never one of those
Effulgent Glory types, and I couldn't make sense of it at all. Maybe
Christopher Wynter is right, and these cultural expectations are all written
in the DNA, but apart from that kind of stuff, I still can't explain it.
But I don't think my little girl mind was making an internal happening seem
external so that it would fit my closed down ideas about stuff. That doesn't
seem to be how it was.
Love you all
Luzbug
> Again.. clean and pure suggest a polarity of judgments about what
is
> not clean and pure.. who made those judgments, and when? Just
curious...
~~*+M~*
I did. For how else can I explain that kind of JOY? How can I explain
the love I felt when there is no love on earth like it? Beyond , beyond?
I have experienced many different forms of earthly love and joy. I can
only write beyond, beyond. Would I use the opposite, dirty and impure?
Clean in ITs crisp clear clarity . Pure in that during one experience I
had things physically removed from me. Pulled out of me. Every
thought I
had ever had in my entire lifetime that was not loving was taken from
me. To the point of thinking,gee I hate that little snot kid in school.
Any even innocent little nagging feeling that I had ever had in all my
years was taken out from me and then the glorious filling up that
took
place. Something descended and filled in those places that were
emptied.
Filled with a love that knocked me to my knees in its Power. I wrote of
this to this list when I first joined.I choose the word pure because
that is ITS aspect. Can you imagine having every single rotten even
little childish innocent, not-so-nice thoughts taken from you? And
then,,,,
I did not fill myself. I was filled from something without that entered
into the core atoms of my physical body and soul.It also involved the
Sacred Heart. But that is probably my filtering from my training.
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