To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/12/03 18:13
Subject: Re: [K-list] Accidents
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 1999/12/03 18:13, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
>On Wed, 01 Dec 1999 13:56:44 Jenell wrote:
>
>>It's odd, but when I'm really 'spacey', in that really 'dstracted'
>>state, I DO LITTLE things like that, bumping into was, failing to notice
>>a down step and landing hard, etc, BUT, overall, I'm not often hurt in
>>that, and as to major things, driving, walking through traffic, etc,
>>it's weird, it's as if the whole world around me just kind of 'flows
>>around' me, making way for my as i go!
>
Some stray thoughts on clumsiness and accidents..
I had one slave I was training, great big guy.. clumsy.. I did some
healing on him to remove a shell created in early adult hood, and he "grew
into" his body. He lost a stoop and became 5 inches taller in a matter of
minutes. That happens with big guys.. they sprout up tall when they are
still chldren inside, and people start to treat them as adults because of
thier size instead of thier age.. it stunts thier emotional growth, and
they walk around hunched over crashing into things, because they feel
smaller, than they are.
I am presently training a fem, who is a mascochist. She has been clumsy
all her life, getting into accidents that I could see, were not accidental
at all.. Rather, it was how she got her maschocistic needs met,
unconsciously. Over the course of a year I have been working with her to
bring this dynamic into consciousness.. and the accidents have stopped.
Folks might not think this applies, but endorphin and K. are closely
connected. Endorphin are the reason why the accidents don't hurt, when you
are in a detached state of blissful surrender to being. They are the
natural anaestesia of bliss, produced by your own body. It is endorphin
that are triggered by the focus of Lamaze childbirth, and they are also
produced by excercise, such as running... cycling.
Whether trauma produces adrenaline, or endorphin is dependent on mental
attitude, not external effects. Fear or acceptance. The bliss of K. when it
is firing is biochemical.. it is endorphin.
I'll let Froggy Jacques explain the precise connection between endorphin
and K., I know the effects and how to provoke it, but I'm not a scientist.
It might seem wierd for a spiritual person to be a Domina, but how else
could I spend 6 years researching the effects of mental state on trauma,
looking for the keys to happiness, and be bribed to do it by the subjects
of the experiements? Goddess provides.. :)
What folks don't understand about BDSM, is that my whippings don't hurt.
The sensation is increased gradually, while subjects are coached in
breathing and mental state: gratitude.
What they feel is steadily increasing bliss, that peaks when they hit
thier sensory limits, and overflows in the identical effect to the "over
the wall" bliss of marathon runners. A cascade of bliss similar to an
orgasm, but more intense and leaving an afterglow that lasts 3 days to a
week, depending on the individual.
Someone who is high on thier own endorphin, it is a state of contented
wellbeing that is ideal for clearing Karma and attachments. I have never
tried herion, but it is what fits into endorphin receptors.. except that
you don't crash, from endorphin..
Endorphin is addictive, just as running is addictive.. but the addiction
is usually positive, it becomes a lust for life. You cannot overdose, on
your own endorphin.
The first time I was aware of going over the top, was in 1988, or 89..
before I got into SM..
I had a planter's wart on my finger that had grown back after being
frozen off by the Doctor.. so I hypnotised myself to detach from pain, and
burnt it to a flat shiny thing on the tip of my steam iron. From a distance
I watched as my body twitched and spasmed with the electrical sensation
radiating from the contact point of my finger and the iron. Feeling the
intensity, but not as pain.
Afterwards, I felt like a Buddha. In a serene state of no-thought,
peaceful and detached in quiet bliss like I had never felt before. I had
been fighting with my boyfriend, before I burnt the wart off, and
afterwards he could not get a rise out of me.. I was seeing thru his
efforts at manipulation, from the witness state without judging him, and
thus was immune to them. He was freaked out by the whole thing, that I
would have the guts to do it..
I was fascinated that a physical activity could create such a profound
altered state. Didn't know it was endorphin till years later.
The circumstances of a Zen-sit, equally can provoke an endorphin
response. If sitting still in one position for 6 hours contemplating
nothing doesn't give you enough agony to bliss you out, there is always a
good whack from the Zen Master's cane to medicate the stiffness away...
To me there is no strangeness to a yoga form that is BDSM + K.
There is no separation: all of these things, from a Zen-sit to a
Sundance, are engaging the same biochemical/emotional mechanism. Even Hatha
Yoga, the act of consciously breathing into the tight spots of stretched
muscles to coax them into relaxation.. this releases endorphin.
When strenuous activity is combined with emotional release.. (like
Jasper kicking a box around his garden till his anger had been released..)
the result is endorphin. The tired, lightheaded feeling after a crying jag,
is endorphin. What we say about pain, "It feels so good, when it stops",
is because of endorphin being released in the body by pain, that lingers to
leave a "feels good" after the pain itself has ceased.
Endorphin are what makes a wolf *able* to chew off it's own leg to be
free of a trap. When the pain from the trap has sent the wolf "over the
top", beyond it's limits for endurance, endorphin surges, pain turns into
pleasure and every bite at itself increases the bliss, like a herion addict
following bliss into overdose.. till it is free, by then it is also
suffering from shock, and it limps off exhausted to it's den to lick it's
wounds, and live or die. Every time it licks it's aching wound with it's
antibacterial spit, it will get endorphin to ease the pain.
Endorphin is Goddess mercy, in a painful world. Built right into the
miraculous system. Goddess won't give you more than you can handle, because
as soon as you hit your pain limits, endorphin kicks in. Just as we give
morphine, herion to terminal patients, to ease thier suffering.
Runners with shin splints, are testimony that you can hurt yourself while
anaestetised by it, tho.. that is why it is dangerous for mascocists to
play by themselves. Dangerous for people who are "accident prone" to not
know what they are getting out of the "accidents". There are no accidents.
Blessings....
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