To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/12/03 06:22
Subject: [K-list] Sorting out ...the ego et al
From: winter mute
On 1999/12/03 06:22, winter mute posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Lesley and rest of list,
I'm trying to sort my own thoughts in re.
the ego and its relationship with the
rest of the rest ;),
so your post was an inspiration to me.
I will try and get my thoughts together so
will try and add some to your thoughts.
On Thu, 2 Dec 1999 16:29:54 Lesley Richardson wrote:
>One of the way the Cosmos evolves us is to set up a
>virtual reality game where you go through what is
>essentially a trumped up situation an illusion
>within an illusion to release emotions you cant get
>at any other way.
I feel the same thing.
Sometimes, it feels as if I'm being an actor in a
stage play in which I'm the only player and
everything else happens because the
director said so. I'm not privy to the
script, and have to improvise, but I'm so
engrossed in the events of the play, I forget it
is only a play.
It feels a bit like one of those old Japanese
Noh plays, in which the characters are dead and
all the events take place in some
static bardo.
The characters are in this bardo because
they can't let go what happened to them in
waking / living life and have to figure
themselves out before they can move on.
Throwing a stone in a still pond
the ripples spread silently---
>Or it can involve a disagreement
>that is really a storm in a teacup
Sometimes I stop and look, why do I get so
angry when someone calls me an idiot ?
If this is the way this other person sees me,
why not let him or her have this opinion.
It's an opinion, a judgment, not
necessarily a fact.
Why fight it ?
Same with other types of conflicts.
Why insist on being right ?
Being right in the other's mind means
nothing after all, it does not change anything.
Words and persuasion is only for the ego.
If change is going to arrive, it need to
arrive from free will, not grudging
agreement.
This is something I spend time on every day
to consider. :)
The gears are turning and creaking...
the thoughts won't stop.
>I am always loved more by my
>teachers than I am capable of at the time. The more
>love Im able to receive from them, the more I get.
>The more they give to me, the more I can send on. Its
>a wonderful cycle.
Having no teacher other than Kundalini,
I do agree with you.
The process is one of accepting oneself,
and for that to happen, there must be love.
At least for my instance.
The cycle of ego and its fighting the rest of the
world was just too tempting and engrossing,
and the damage too deep for the ego to give
up and real changes to start.
The kick to starting acceptance of self
was unconditional
love imparted by Kundalini and interpreted
as love from god.
This was the only way
real and encompassing, lasting changes could be
set in motion.
>the teachers who are truly enlightened do not work
>with students who have not yet fully released their
>emotions. Its extremely painful to do so unless the
>student is at the point where when an emotion is
>triggered, usually by an interaction with another, the
>student is immediately willing to release that
>emotion. If the ego holds onto the painif its more
>important to have the grievance, feel wronged, attack
>the teacher for being unsympathetic, unloving,
>inconsistent, whatever, or the ego of the student is
>totally unwilling to give up any control
:)) That sounds familiar.
The ego does hold onto feelings of being
wronged, of being treated unfairly to a high
degree and will do so for a long, long time.
It has been experienced that it requires
a conscious effort to let go, and a strong
motivation to do so, despite the ego also
feeling that letting go of anger and fear
or past injustices would be good.
But it is also my experience, that somewhere
along the way, the ego starts wanting to
relinquish control after first having had
a little taste of it. :)
Again, love has been experienced to be the gateway to this relaxation.
Relaxing the ego is a hard thing to do.
>We die unto ourselves to save
>ourselves. And the kundalini energy rises in us to
>help us get there
I was born with a relatively strong ego
because of a strong feeling of having been
wronged in the past.
The habit of the ego of always judging and
always defending when feeling attacked,
still continues, but with a diminished force.
I have many times wondered why the ego
problems, why the 3rd chakra problems,
which have been considerable, why having a
3rd chakra and an ego in the first place.
Today, I was pondering on that question
as per usual and got the idea that
the strength and assertiveness
of the ego may be born out of
a need for true dedication to the spiritual
path.
Without a dash of fanaticism (which there
has been before) and an element of
crusading (which I certainly have done)
there would never be adherence to what
the spirit deems the right path for itself.
In a way, the ego must be born and made
a concrete thing to propel itself to the
point where it can be relaxed and given up.
:)) I have long been wanting to write
of personal experiences and views on the
different chakras, but was unsure of how to
tackle the problematic
and at times hated third one.
Sorting thoughts out here with you
has been very useful.
I will ponder the 3rd chakra and the ego
some more.
Only end with saying that Kundalini has been
kind enough to resolve the initial problems of
the 3rd chakra slowly
and gently and stepwise.
I will forever be grateful for that.
Thanks for sharing, Lesly.
Best regards,
Amanda.
(Who went from being a rumblecat to mumblecat ;) )
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.