To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/20 16:09
Subject: [K-list] Life
From: revo
On 1999/11/20 16:09, revo posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Percyval and K-List people:
Thank you for four kind letter(s).
I wish I could say that I experience the bliss you have come to
experience. It is especially fascinating since you said that you are
"disabled with a painful chronic illness". How do you do it?
I find nature, while beautiful and uplifting, to be very cruel. In fact
Hitler used the arguement that he could be cruel because nature is
cruel. I do not buy his arguement because animals are merely trying to
survive and have no mental ability to be other than they are. We do
have a mind and can choose kindness or cruely. But nature is cruel. I
have heard it said that almost no animal in the wild dies of old age,
because they are eaten as they become slower and weeker.
I do not remember if it was you or someone else, who compared humanity
to a virus living of the mother earth. That's something that I would
have never thought of. It is a thoughtful and interesting comparison.
Please forgive my bad spelling. Also I am not really thinking well
today. Friday I was diagnosses by the copmpany's social worker as being
"burned out" with regard to the hellish job I have.
This terrable job makes all of life seem negative. I have found I would
rather be asleep than awake. Yesterday I spend much of the day shaking.
I forget all kinds of things that I've done and can only remember vague
details. I do practice 20 minutes of mediatation in the mornings but it
does not seem to help. If I can only hang in for 10 more months I could
retire early. I will be 55 then. But Monday we are supposed to have a
meeting and they may solve the problem for me. I am not enjoying life.
Once years ago I got up early in the morning before going to another job
I hated and spent 2 hours doing japa yoga, chanting the maha mantra on
beeds for 2 hours. It really worked. Instead of being depressed, I
felt great. Perhaps I should do this Monday morning before going to
work. Only it requires 2 hours, which means I may have to give up
something else like a meal.
Any ideas.
Richard (Ulrich)
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