To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/09/01 01:23
Subject: Re: [K-list] alone
From: v
On 1999/09/01 01:23, v posted thus to the K-list:
Thankyou Martin, & to all the invaluable support I have received on
kundalini-l. I still need to go back & answer individually with the
gratitude I feel.
I just wanted to throw this out by way of explanation - I suffer from
mood swings. Used to be called an "artistic temperament", & now termed
as "bipolar".
Usually I am not so badly off like this to have to admit it or pay
attention. Somehow I usually function fine - single mom, 2 creative
jobs, managing big apartment & Alaskan sized bills...usually I am a
funny person & lurk on here. But sometimes like the other night, my
heart seemed shattered inexplicably.
I appreciate being able to express it in writing, & - like I say -
have received so much support, & you each helped immensely. Seems I am
not so alone after all. You really helped me see!
Sure, & I know about "mind over matter". Sometimes I let my logic
know, & the other night - well - my heart just seemed wrenched in pain.
I didn't know how to reach the logic part & maintain. It's some brain
problem to do with protons & neutrons & being imbalanced at the brain
synapse level. Now I see clearly, but before - through a glass darkly.
Seeing clearly & maintaining is the optimum ideal. But when zigging
instead of zagging, it's way hard to differentiate.
Thanx again for all your support!
sincerely,
valerie
Martin Thompson wrote:
>
> 23:08:17 Sun, 29 Aug 1999
> v at v <madammumATnospamptialaska.net> writes:
> > I find myself unable to be myself to anyone, for any reason, & I also
> >find myself crying alone every night.
>
> Many people find that what their minds focus on, they experience. Have
> you read about how the creative mind doesn't properly understand the
> concept of "not" (try *not* to think of an elephant - you momentarily at
> least think of an elephant anyway)? Focussing on something you don't
> want can be the same as if you wanted it. So it will tend to persist in
> your life. Sometimes also, yearning for what you *do* want has the same
> negative effect, as the yearning has the implicit background thought of
> "I can't have that" and that background thought is what persists: you
> remain in the visualised state of being without, or emptiness. Try to
> find a positive route - even if only in little steps.
> --
> Martin Thompson martinATnospamtucana.demon.co.uk
> London, UK
> Home Page: http://www.tucana.demon.co.uk
> Free Regular Income: http://www.virtualis.com/vr/mthomps4/vrp.html
>
> "Everything I do and say with anyone makes a difference." Gita Bellin
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