To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/08/11 13:58
Subject: Re: [K-list] Shaktipat. was: ldentity of my swami
From: Gcwein1111
On 1999/08/11 13:58, Gcwein1111 posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 8/11/99 4:57:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time, GCWein1111
writes:
<<
ANGELIQUE: l feel l should add a few remarks to my previous post to help
avoid any possible misunderstanding l might have caused. First, altho l
carefully excluded myself from the guru worshipers of whom you spoke (ha-ha),
l feel you have correctly described the dynamic of what goes on. l could see
the extent to which devotees were truly addicted to his energy and the
comfort and security of the guru-disciple relshp. l knew a woman who wouldn't
even buy a pet without asking Swami, even tho she lived 2000 miles away from
the ashram!
Even tho l was there primarily just for help with k and Swami didn't
appear at all interested in the trappings of a guru, it was still easy to get
caught up in the ego garbage of the guru-disciple relshp. With me, it took
the form of feeling l needed to live up to the high expectations l thought he
had for me and hoping he approved of my progress. lt floored me at first,
realizing this---stuff l'd never had to deal with in my earlier years on the
path. ln that sense it was a relief being on my own again.
Also, although l mentioned the problems with my stomach and
head in the conclusion of my post, l don't want to mislead anyone. My process
continues to improve and l remain hopeful--there just hasn't been anything
that l've found that has enabled me to force the improvement.
jerry >>
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