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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/31 13:36
Subject: [K-list] Dark Night Of the Soul
From: A. Erhart


On 1999/07/31 13:36, A. Erhart posted thus to the K-list:


On Fri, 30 Jul 1999 15:02:13 Dharma wrote:

>I asked them all about God, but I never could believe just because someone
>else said so... or because I read it in a book.

Yes, that is impossible. God must be experienced and
it seems, that experience is next to impossible
to transmit to other ppl, as it requires some
"killing off" of their old beliefs and thought
patterns and that cannot be done unless highly
voluntarily.

>When I was 13, I finally decided there was only one thing to do - ask God.
>If God existed and was really good and really cared about individuals, then
>he would answer. Then I believed... but in the next week I lost it...

:)

>I
>could not believe just because of a warm feeling and a momentary
>conviction.

LOL ! You were a Jnani even at age 13 !

>So I talked to him again... explained that I would never be
>able to believe without something concrete... something real that I could
>not doubt. And he answered.

And you believed, I assume ? :)

>When I went into the All at 27, I did not find a personal God. After that,
>the world was transformed, divinity is everywhere, everything flashes out
>of and into the All... at every moment.

Beautiful ! Hope to see that some day.
You mentioned this continous process of doing and
undoing in the post on ksl on how one can give
different things to Goddess. I found that very
interesting, sort of like the electron which cannot
really be found anywhere but is still present. :)
(Perhaps not the best of analogies)

>I don't think I have experienced a Dark Night of the Soul... I don't think
>I could, because I cannot doubt what I know to be true, what I've
>experienced.

Good !

>At the darkest moment, when I had a breakdown, I began
>looking to see what I knew was real... what I could hold onto. I found
>two real things: daily life (chop wood, carry water) and the All.

:) Even the All ? The knowledge you have must have been
very solid indeed for that to stick even during a
breakdown. If only everybody could be as knowledgeable
as that. :)

Best regards,

Amanda.

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