Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives

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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/30 12:08
Subject: Re: [K-list] thoughts of sucicide
From: john Percyval


On 1999/07/30 12:08, john Percyval posted thus to the K-list:

hi Freda...

this may possibly be the impact on the day trader killer which is all over
the media and the collective unconscious today...he put the gun to his own
head in the last 24 hours...

lovingly,

john Percyval


----- Original Message -----
From: <fredaannATnospamseatac.net>
To: <kundaliniATnospamList-Server.net>
Sent: Friday, July 30, 1999 12:07 PM
Subject: [K-list] thoughts of sucicide

> Dear List,
> I woke last night at 1:15 AM from a deep hard sleep, soaked in sweat and
> extreamly aggitated. I sat on the side of the bed feeling as though I
> had had a nightmare. But I dont remember the dream.
> It distubed me enough I could not get back to sleep.
> I went to work early and the aggitation stayed with me. I came home
> twice to check that all was okay, When I finnished work and came home I
> snuggled up with my boyfriend and asked him to hold me, I was feeling
> extreamly alone and frightened.
> I dont 'know' of anywhere this is coming from within myself, other than
> possibly a nightmare- which I dont remember having. I was able to fall
> back to sleep.
> Rich woke me to move away from him cause I was sweating on him when he
> woke me I woke with the vision clear in my minds eye of myself with a
> gun held to my head.
> I am not feeling suicidal. I am not feeling anything that makes this
> mine!!
> I tried calming myself, sat quietly in my room... and when I did relax a
> little, I felt as though my right arm were going to raise to my head,
> and i felt a gun (weight) in my hand.
> I got the hell out of my room.
> I am disturbed my this for a couple of reasons. The biggest because I
> tend to feel disturbances before they accually manifest.
> I cant imagine what would be 'mine' that could esculate to this kind of
> extreme... I assume it is someone elses crap that I am picking up on...
> I dont want it.
> I am not sure how to rid myself of it...
> any help would be appriciated - I have tried 'giving it up' but it has
> me too tightly bound I am caught up in it and it is getting extreamly
> uncomfortable.
> freda
> --
> ====================================
> http://www.seatac.net/fredaann/index.html
> ICQ # 39823727 alternate email: beisamATnospamjuno.com
>

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