Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives

line

To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/06/25 13:37
Subject: [K-list] K and gender, et al.
From: A. Erhart


On 1999/06/25 13:37, A. Erhart posted thus to the K-list:

 
Dear Melissa,

Thanks for writing in ! :)

The more that share, the merrier !

On Thu, 24 Jun 1999 16:25:29 MrsToast wrote:

>About 2 months after my
>Reiki II, I experienced 10 days of life-altering sexual arousal. Prior to
>this, I had often been told that my root and second chakras were blocked, or
>at least undernourished.
>Well, those 10 days changed my ideas about a healthy sex
>life, and have left quite a lasting effect on me!

:D

There are many reiki attuned ppl on this list and they
can probably guide you better than I can.

>During that time, I lost 7 lbs, became dehydrated, had difficulty remembering
>to eat, to attend to my kids, forgot about laundry, groceries, my business.
>I slept half what I normally do, with the energy awakening me several times
>thru-out the night. I became obsessed w/feeding this energy in any way
>possible, short of chasing my neighbors and calling >900 #s! LOL!

LOL !

Good thing you came out of it that fast then. :)

It certainly sounds like a balancing / increase of
the life energies.

>And when the energy, best described as a ball of energy in my second chakra,
>not unlike some of my early drug experiences, finally subsided, I was greatly
>relieved, exhausted, but also grieved. Since then, I've found my perspective
>of sex has changed greatly. I feel like I'm suddenly allowed to own my own
>sexuality, to discover it all over, such as it's fluid nature is.

:) I know what you mean. I view K as being what
Freud talked about when he talked about the id,
from his 19th centure point of view of course.

As mentioned in a recent post to Dharma and the list,
sexuality can very well be what you make of it.
It can include the whole body-mind very strongly
or just parts of it, depending how you prefer seeing it.

I see sexuality as being an integral part of k and
ourselves, as the desire / impulse to be one with
another may very well be the impulse to be one with
god and All. Many chakra theories point to this
as well. :)

With this I mean that sexuality is not regular Friday
night horniness and the guys going down to the local
strip joint to watch the girls undress, what I mean
is the base desire of wanting to live, wanting
to unite with the object of love, to be in
absolute devotion. And since the ultimate object and
subject being god/love itself.. then...
every aspect of the mind-body has a connection to
what we call sexuality.

>As for the discussion concerning gender, this androgyny is something I've
>experienced all my life. I've "known" since childhood that I am a
>heterosexual woman, but I've always attracted both men and women, been called
>"Sir" as often as "Ma'am." Even when I was pregnant out to here!

:D Wow ! That is something. It must be your personality and charisma then. :)

>now I just find
>it mildly amusing, not a statement of my place in the world.

:) No, the self is always the same, no matter how
others perceive of it.

>Even tho I've "known" myself to be heterosexual, I've found that I am more
>attracted to the person than the body. Sometimes that's been a woman along
>the way. This was never a disturbing development, but also I never felt
>obliged to act on those attractions. I mean, along the way I was attracted
>to married men, and didn't feel obliged to act on those attractions either.
>(Not to imply the two are ethical equals!)

I know exactly what you mean. :)

The love and attraction has been there, but the need
to act in it has not, only the necessity to
acknowledge the many faces and expressions of love and
devotion. :)

These days I feel myself loving both men and women
with much sensuality but surprisingly few
sexual emotions.

>I've been reading Kundalini and The Chakras by G. Paulson. (Any thoughts out
>there on that book?) From what I understand, it seems the blending of the
>polarities - male & female - leads to an androgynous state of sorts.

:) I just bought it and haven't read it yet.
Other ppl on the list have, though, so the might
have some more educated views on it. ;)

>I can
>accept that, but am enjoying exploring my sexuality too much right now to
>find that terribly appealing.

All I can say to this is that an androgynous state
does not equal a genderless state or one devoid of
sexual emotions.

Rather than being more neutral, as in androgynous,
I suspect the state is more of being inclusive
rather than excluding one half of the world's
population.

>Some of what I've read there and other places
>seems to indicate that sexuality in general becomes less of an issue as this
>progresses. Does this mean the drive goes down? Or does it transmute into a
>higher form of physical intimacy?

>From what I've heard from other ppl, the drive
goes up and down in the course of time and
diminshes in some and get transmuted in others.
If you ask me, I'd say that the transmutation to a
spiritual intimacy is the most comfortable state,
especially for men.

My personal experience is one of definite
transmutation, as I regard all sexual emotions
as being part of the same drive towards spirituality,
but I have regarded sexuality as sacred since
early childhood.

>I'm not sure exactly what my question is,
>but as you can tell by my current attachment to this issue, I'm afraid for
>now to let go of what I've just finally gotten both hands on, so to speak!
>LOL! I'm curious what is - if there is such a thing - a normal progression
>on this front.

:)) I don't think there is anything as "normal"
progression. It's all normal. :)

Don't worry about getting attached. Enjoy yourself,
enjoy what you're experiencing.
When K changes things, it will all feel in the
right time and for the better. :)

>Also, I'm concerned that I would have been better served working to pull that
>energy up my system, rather than reveling in the sexual high. Since that
>time, I've had minor digestive disturbances, some mild lower back aches, but
>also increased sensitivities and higher response.

You could try to pull the energy up, but as you say,
there has probably been a clearing which has been
necessary and wouldn't have taken place if you
hadn't done what you did.

My experience is that K will provide you with the
right energy work when the time is right.

For 4 weeks I only had convulsions and nothing more in
K meditation. Then suddenly one afternoon I could
feel each and every chakra, was told to start directing
the energy and found out I could
direct energy into every
one of them and do reiki on myself to balance the
energy whenever there was pain.

Prior to that I didn't even believe there was such a
thing as chakras, even though I had heard
about them before. :)

I don't do energy work every time, it varies a lot.
The best advice I can get is to relax, go with the
energy and do what you feel like when in meditation,
no matter how silly or odd it may feel. :)

Thanks for sharing and for writing in. :)

Best regards,

Amanda.

Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com

blank
DISCLAIMER!

Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
blank
K.  List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and  Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
line
  • Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the Kundalini mailing list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list. Please subscribe to the K-list so you can read the responses.
  • All email addresses on this site have been spam proofed by the addition of ATnospam in place of the at symbol symbol.
  • All posts publicly archived with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited by international copyright law. ©
  • This precious archive of experiential wisdom is made available thanks to sponsorship from Fire-Serpent.org.
  • URL: http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/klist/k1999/k9901797.html