To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/04/26 10:43
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: It's all such a wonder.......
From: Gcwein1111
On 1999/04/26 10:43, Gcwein1111 posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Dharma: I'm so frustrated because my pc broke down, causing me to lose
a long post to you. I'm going to be much more brief now and hope. Thank you
for your wonderful feedback -- it was helpful to me in processing my
dream/shaktipat. You described the swami as my spiritual guru-- do you mean
as in an inner guru? inner or outer I suppose is not that important--just
wondered how you meant it. I think your advice about making an effort to tune
into him makes sense. I also think you're right that this signals a genuine
change. Last night I awoke at 4 am with a feeling of energy focused and
moving at brow--as I said, it's been focused there for years but mostly with
pressure and pain which only always grew worse with any attempt to focus or
breathe into brow or any other chakra. Last night it felt more like it was
inviting me to focus and breathe into it-- maybe like it was prepared to
move. Only problem was my stomach (3rd) chakra was feeling more nauseous
with any attempt to do so, so I did't do much.
I have a history of this with my
stomach. I did some retreats with Swami Chetanananda in 1994-5 ---- I went to
him after 1-1/2 years of brow and head pain---at the last retreat I was
focusing mostly on breathing into 3rd chakra while exchanging energy with him
in a pretty intense session. After the retreat I became REALLY ill with all
kinds of severe physical problems--the worst one was vomiting, nausea and
inability to eat for 3 months. This led to a very painful separation with
Swami. It took me a year before I could eat very well-- for 1-1/2 years I
couldn't breathe at all into a chakra without immediate nausea--- my stomach
is still delicate, I have to sleep semi-reclining to minimize gas bloating
and I still often feel some nausea with any attempt to breathe into a
chakra(usually brow)----so, this is why I was cautious with it last night.
I'm still pretty traumatized by my k history and tend to be cautious in
general. So, I
could say alot more but am going to stop now (so I don't lose this one too!).
I really appreciate your interest and willingness to share this with me.
love Jerry
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