To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/02/14 08:56
Subject: [K-list] Kundalini revisited
From: Larry Killen
On 1999/02/14 08:56, Larry Killen posted thus to the K-list:
Hi,
I used to frequent this list a few years back after an unusual occurrence which I assumed to be the awakening of Kundalini. Without going into detail, I would more say that I experienced K arousal, sort of a precursor to the real thing. I dropped from the list because I was pursuing a masters degree and found this list a far too strong distraction from my studies. But there were members who supported me and encouraged me to continue on with my studies when I was questioning whether it was for me. Particularly Lobster, OneBeing and a some others whose name I have forgotten. Well I got my MS a while back and have continued on for my doctoral and am more that half way through the course load. But it is here that I think I started the full process of Kundalini awakening.
Near the end of the last semester I was under tremendous stress to complete my research. I had falling behind and was having some real problems. I can't remember when I experienced stress so great, had mouth-ulcers and the skin on my hands started to crack. For relaxation (and survival) I would meditate. But a month ago all hell broke loose. At first I was excited with the experience but after awhile I began to question how much I could take. Some of the experiences were pleasant and fascinating but others were annoying and at times painful and disruptive to my daily life, to the point of causing me to miss work.
One pronounced effect is this feeling that I have swallowed a bite of food that was too large to go down properly. I had this feeling of pressure behind my breast-plate, not really a painful feeling but one you might experience for a short period if you drank too large of a gulp of soda. One would expect to belch and be relieved. But this pressure has lasted for days and re-occurs along with other sensations. I also have experienced a dull pain in my solar plexus, right at the surface of my flesh. It can be amplified by touch. Again, it is not truly painful but pleasant pain, if you understand what I mean.
Later I would experience a neck sensation down the back of the center of my neck. Not a stiff neck but a pain combined with the sensation of heat from the base of my shoulders up to my head. This has reached the point of being very sensitive to the touch as with the breastbone sensation. Sometimes even the weight of a blanket seems to hurt.
Other sensations are tactile. I sat in a meeting and became aware that I could feel all the sounds in my hands. While the meeting was going on I could feel each speaker's voice in my fingers with a tingling vibration sensation. My body felt like a big kazoo! If you have ever held a balloon up to your mouth and talked to it, you might have felt the sound waves. This is what I was feeling in my fingers, yet they were not in contact with any surface. I could also feel the steps of someone walking into the room without audibly hearing them. I thought, that this must be the life of a snake.
The slightest temperature changes have also been amplified. And the most annoying can be my olfactory sensations. My office is probably 30 feet from the rest room yet I can smell when the door is opened. (and our restrooms are clean!). I was driving on the Interstate in slow heavy traffic. For a moment I smelled cigarette smoke. I looked around and noticed the driver in the car beside me smoking. We both had our windows open but were going at least 45 mph. I guess one or two molecules of smoke found it's way to my car.
But when it is not going good, I experience this sensation that the entire surface of my body is hypersensitive. It is actually a feeling like I might get in the genital regions after orgasms (more information than you needed, I know). The simple touch can be very painful. There are times when I feel like my hair hurts. I also feel very distant from those around me because I feel I am living in a different world.
Along with all the above, I experience all kinds of zinging sensations throughout my body. At time my throat feels very tight and another times I feel as though someone is pressing their thumb right between my eyebrows And lately my thirst has been unbelievable. I normally would drink just a few glasses of water daily. But the crazy thirst started about two weeks ago which has gotten to the point that I take a liter of water with me everywhere I go. Last week, while everyone else drank their normal cup of coffee during our branch meeting, I had my liter of water. I finished it off and had to excuse myself and process the water in my bladder but also refill my bottle. This was only a 2 hour meeting. I am drinking > 5 liters daily.
Throughout all of this, I have had numerous deep realizations. This has been a process I have worked on over the years but it has taking on a life of it's own these last few months. Anything can trigger the process. Someone can say something or I read a word, hear a song, etc. etc. and I feel my mind going very silent for a sustained period. I explained to my wife that what I feel is like I am shinning a heat lamp on some frozen memories. Seldom is their a conscious understanding of what they are. I only seem to be aware of the process. Yet I somehow know I am de-repressing something. And later I become aware that I remember (or know) things that I was not aware of before.
I know I have rambled on but I feel like I need to catch up on lost time. I would like to hear from anyone who can validate what I have been going through with their own experiences.
As stated earlier, I am still a student, (and an employee, a daddy, a husband) so I have to budget my time carefully. I love this list and am easily drawn away from other things. So I may disappear from time to time when work is due.
Thanks
Larry Killen, MS
Programmer III
TRW Systems Integration Group
(404) 639-4952 wk.
(770) 932-9169 hm.
mosiahATnospammindspring.com
lak6ATnospamcdc.gov
killenlATnospamscis.nova.edu
http://www.mindspring.com/~mosiah
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