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1998/06/13 09:57
kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #455


kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 98 : Issue 455

Today's Topics:
  Re: Why would anyone... [ ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com ]
  Re: Why would anyone... [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
  Re: Who? What? Why? Where? [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ]
  RE: Continuity [ "jb" <hc19436ATnospamautovia.com> ]
  Letter from God [ YoniDakaATnospamwebtv.net (YoniDaka) ]
  Uptight Christians [ Dave08812ATnospamaol.com ]
  Re: Why would anyone...Oh Whatever! [ Dave08812ATnospamaol.com ]
  Re: Why would anyone...Oh Whatever! [ freda <fredaATnospamnwlink.com> ]
  Re: Why would anyone...Oh Whatever! [ Anurag Goel <anuragATnospamBhaskara.ee.iis ]
  Re: Why would anyone... [ "Lobster" <lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com> ]
  To Recreate Eden (was genuine or del [ Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic ]
  To Recreate Eden (was genuine or del [ Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic ]
  RE: Why would anyone... [ "jb" <hc19436ATnospamautovia.com> ]
  Mysticism Web site [ Holly Nelson <hnelsonATnospampangea.ca> ]
  the wonder of dark places [ hbarrettATnospamix.netcom.com (Holly N. Ba ]
  Re: Why would anyone... [ "Larry Schmitz" <taniaATnospamcentroin.com ]
  Re: the wonder of dark places [ Nancy <NancyATnospamwtp.net> ]
  Re: Well-meaning religious fanatics [ Wonderer <mrtn74aATnospamProdigy.com> ]
  Re: the wonder of dark places [ ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com ]
  Re: Why would anyone... [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
  Re: Continuity [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ]
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 19:48:15 EDT
From: ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com
To: lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...
Message-ID: <668eeb73.3581be40ATnospamaol.com>

In a message dated 6/12/98 5:58:54 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com writes:

......However I live in hope and have high aspirations that
  I may one day develop some real qualities.

May I ask a couple of questions? What real and virtuous qualities are you
talking about? and, what about the *act as if*?

 I've been thinking a lot about acting 'as if' lately. I think when we act as
if we are *spiritual*, then that is in error, or at least subject to whatever
the hell our definition of spirituality is. But I'm thinking if we are
wanting to take on the qualities of, say, kindness, gentleness, tolerance,
etc. etc., then, in those cases, acting 'as if' would be the same as Being
those things.

 .....Now the virtuous qualities are developed through turning away from our
 tendencies towards simple answers and banal techniques (many of which are
 available on my web site) to real efforts. Efforts to observe who we are and
 what we are like and to make genuine change in our various limitations of
 behaviour and attitude. And when we do this we start to know ourself, to
 develop wisdom and we start to understand both life and our possibilities
 and place in things.

Would you give an example of the workings of this?

.....We no longer have to live in an imiginary world where
 we are 'k' activated, spiritual, divine and so on but quite ordinary - and
 that is the greatest miracle of all. Realising you are a human being - very
 special.

ahhhh, to give up our specialness and be ordinary..... quite the feat.

Dance to the music,
xxxtg

 * "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am." *

http://members.aol.com/Teeegeee/tgsplace.html <~~~~ on the web now!
Date: 13 Jun 98 01:08:47 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...
Message-Id: <3581D060.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>

> ahhhh, to give up our specialness and be ordinary..... quite the feat.

I'm a superhuman too.

I might start up a new mailing list soon about being superhuman. I am
going to do a website regarding this. I already have a site, but it's
only about computer things at the moment. I know we already have the k
list and there is the `i-am' list, and there are many others
available, but I would like there to be a place for people who are
very lost, people who /want/ freedom rether than letting it be, and
people who feel a lot of familiarity about themselves. People who are
trying to be superhuman and are having difficulty admitting reality,
both as a truth and into their lives.

--
Paul.

IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 17:00:29 -0700
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com>
To: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>
Cc: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Who? What? Why? Where?
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980612170029.00c43cdcATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

At 04:23 PM 12/06/98 -0400, Sharon Webb wrote:
>Dear Goddess, in your infinite wisdom, did you see fit to clone Harsha?
   I wondered that, myself.. LOL!

>Who is Paul? What is Paul? Who is the one who cares?
   Not Paul!

>No, no...don't answer that.... Just kidding.
>
>You Me Go Fly,
>Sharon
  
   Ditto. Sorry, Paul, I get the impression you are not interested in the
answers, so much as you are interested in looking clever and wise by asking
the questions.
  The point of such questions, is that they are a mediation you ask YOURSELF.
  You look inward for your own answers.
  It may be a fun game to ask them of others, but you will only be making a
nuisance of bandwidth chomping. You are not going to find out who Paul is
by asking someone else who they are. Get with the program..
   BB, M.
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 04:21:31 +0100
From: "jb" <hc19436ATnospamautovia.com>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>, "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
Subject: RE: Continuity
Message-ID: <000001bd967a$5c445300$236335c3ATnospamjb>
Content-Type: text/plain;
 charset="iso-8859-1"

Paul:
<snip>
> What if one had the courage to stand alone, no friends, no enemies,
> involved in nothing.

Jan: Are you clairvoyant? It is an accurate description of my life for more
than five years except that it takes no courage.

Paul:
> Maybe then the extreme familiarity, which is me, would cease, to let
> there be unbridled love.

Jan:
Then, there will cease a lot more, the unbridled love included.
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 21:22:30 -0700
From: YoniDakaATnospamwebtv.net (YoniDaka)
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Letter from God
Message-Id: <199806130422.VAA19433ATnospammailtod-122.bryant.webtv.net>

Dear K-list,

Several months ago someone on the list posted a beautiful "Letter from
God". My computer had a memory laps and I can't find it now. I was
hoping someone might stillhave a copy and would e-mail it to my at the
above address.

Thanks in advance for your help in this matter.

Namaste, YoniDaka
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 00:24:43 EDT
From: Dave08812ATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Uptight Christians
Message-ID: <3452e9f1.3581ff0dATnospamaol.com>

I guess I went a little ballistic on Fundalmental Christianity. I had read
something called Why Christians Suck on www.paranoia.com. But I think Jesus
had much to offer to the world and still does. One the other hand, telling
someone that their spiritual ectasies are Satan inspired because Jesus is not
figured in, can really hurt a neophyte on the path of which I am one. People
can disagree with you whatever path they are on with statements such as Master
So and So or Guru Blah Blah offers the best way to enlightenment. In that case
it is a rather innocent game of ego and quite tolareable. In general Abrahamic
religions are kind of scary to me. But I am on this earth partly to deal with
obnoxious people with compassion. I am sure others have found me obnoxious
from time to time. Yes, bears are nice too. And the Wizard of Oz was quite
enjoyable to watch when I was a kid.
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 00:42:56 EDT
From: Dave08812ATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...Oh Whatever!
Message-ID: <42374277.35820351ATnospamaol.com>

I guess my fault is that I'm overly humble. You got me. I admit it. I am a
superhuman. Yeah, I can fart balls of lightning out my ass. Paul, I'm just
being silly, now. You're alright with me. As for my myself, I can draw up my
Lake Superior up my penis doing Vajroli Kriya. I am also an avatar, but I'm
too shy to admit it. Someday I am going to write an autobiography about it,
and I will also offer helpful hints on how to cook with hamburger helper and
how to get rid of those lint balls on your sweaters. Not only am I am an
avatar, but I'm really sexy stud, too. Do you come here often Mystress
Serpent? What's your sign? :o)
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 21:50:03 -0700
From: freda <fredaATnospamnwlink.com>
To: Dave08812ATnospamaol.com
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...Oh Whatever!
Message-ID: <358204FB.365FATnospamnwlink.com>

oh oh
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 14:40:59 +0530 (IST)
From: Anurag Goel <anuragATnospamBhaskara.ee.iisc.ernet.in>
To: Dave08812ATnospamaol.com
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...Oh Whatever!
Message-Id: <Pine.SOL.3.93.980613143951.7785B-100000ATnospamBhaskara>
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII

What is AVATAR(dave) doing on this K-list?

Love,
Anurag

On Sat, 13 Jun 1998 Dave08812ATnospamaol.com wrote:

> I guess my fault is that I'm overly humble. You got me. I admit it. I am a
> superhuman. Yeah, I can fart balls of lightning out my ass. Paul, I'm just
> being silly, now. You're alright with me. As for my myself, I can draw up my
> Lake Superior up my penis doing Vajroli Kriya. I am also an avatar, but I'm
> too shy to admit it. Someday I am going to write an autobiography about it,
> and I will also offer helpful hints on how to cook with hamburger helper and
> how to get rid of those lint balls on your sweaters. Not only am I am an
> avatar, but I'm really sexy stud, too. Do you come here often Mystress
> Serpent? What's your sign? :o)
>
>
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 09:04:33 +0100
From: "Lobster" <lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com>
To: <ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com>
Cc: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...
Message-ID: <011901bd95e9$80b05400$a55395c1ATnospamdefault>
Content-Type: text/plain;
 charset="iso-8859-1"

>lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com writes:
>
>......However I live in hope and have high aspirations that
> I may one day develop some real qualities.


tg:
>May I ask a couple of questions? What real and virtuous qualities are you
>talking about? and, what about the *act as if*?
>
> I've been thinking a lot about acting 'as if' lately. I think when we act
as
>if we are *spiritual*, then that is in error, or at least subject to
whatever
>the hell our definition of spirituality is. But I'm thinking if we are
>wanting to take on the qualities of, say, kindness, gentleness, tolerance,
>etc. etc., then, in those cases, acting 'as if' would be the same as Being
>those things.

A wax apple acts as if. It is not an apple and never will be. We may need to
find seeds and spend years tending the tree before getting anywhere near a
real apple.
There is an important distinction between false and real.
Acting 'as if' we have these qualities is part of a training program. In
other words we are trying to create a habit. HOWEVER this is still
conditioning and is something that is inherently false. It is the basis of
hypocrisy found in most 'spiritual' people. They are playing. Acting the
part. The important concept here is 'should'. If you behave or say the
things you feel you should - you are a hypocrite. What you have to do is
somehow find the genuine qualities and feelings of kindness and gentleness
and nurture these. For instance if you can only find effection towards
'kittens', you must examine this feeling, see what it is and introspectively
try and work out why this can not be expanded. If your only understanding of
humility comes from contemplating the vastness of space or watching a mother
nurse a child, then here too is your entry point.
In other words find the genuine however small and try and expand this basis.
If you graft good qualities on a bad base you might lose the whole tree.
Ideally you should be working from both ends. It is better to be a
hypocrite, knowing you are working on this, then to to be an 'honest' but
hurtful person who feels free to create pain on the basis of being 'true'
and 'real'. The real qualities of people are inherently Good and Loving.
Anyway telling you otherwise wishes to wallow in their incapacity for
evolution.
If you develop real integrity you may be forced (by the needs of people) to
work in ways that may seem superficially to cause pain to people - if you
are true to their needs - then you are genuine - whatever they may think of
your behaviour. You have gone beyond others judgements and look to your own
integrity - 'am I serving this person or situation or am I an impediment
causing regression?' It then becomes permissable to use all the tools at our
disposal to serve people. You no longer offer them simplistic platitudes
that they have heard or read a 1000 times but create situations that force
reactions and thought. You may be unkind to them so that they have to
respond with patience and kindness. Your reputation will be ruined :-D
However if you want to join the platitude speakers and the 'shine a snake up
your spine' clowns you have ample oppurtunity.

> .....Now the virtuous qualities are developed through turning away from
our
> tendencies towards simple answers and banal techniques (many of which are
> available on my web site) to real efforts. Efforts to observe who we are
and
> what we are like and to make genuine change in our various limitations of
> behaviour and attitude. And when we do this we start to know ourself, to
> develop wisdom and we start to understand both life and our possibilities
> and place in things.
>
>Would you give an example of the workings of this?

Many people think if they find a teacher or technique they will somehow
become spiritual. Circus performers.
To find the innate wisdom we all have, means applying introspection,
contemplation, meditation, thought, prayer, study - however you like to call
it to the questions: 'What am I? Why am I? What is genuine/real/truth? What
do I need to find these?'
The development of wisdom means we become independent of peoples
expectations and serve their real needs. They do not know their real needs.
They clamour for attention, entertainment, justification and so on. And
wisdom (through those in contact) says, 'You are false. You lie. You
pretend. You do not wish for wisdom.'
Now the wise know (however great their accomplishments), this is always
true. The false always say - 'ah but I am wise, I know, I am divine,
everything is truth'. That is why they are an impediment both to themself
and others. So you see one is a path of ego enlargement (the false and easy
path) and the other is a path of recognising, exposing and allowing the ego
to fall away (this requires efforts that most do not wish for). It is hardly
surprising that people clamour to the false because that is their nature.
Like calls to like.

Be Well
Lobster
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 23:10:05 -0500
From: Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic.net>
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: To Recreate Eden (was genuine or delusional)
Message-Id: <l03010d00b1a7ac1aa5d5ATnospam[207.71.51.150]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com> wrote:

> Goddess moves in mysterious ways...
> The mass consciousness shift required for planetary healing....
> Kundalini has been called the most powerful
>force in the Universe. Pollution has not.

>We will recreate Eden, with the
>limitless power of our Love.
> Believe it.

An important image to spread as widely as possible, to counteract all those
images of decay and the end of the earth!
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 05:20:34 -0500
From: Ann Morrison Fisher <annfisherATnospamstic.net>
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: To Recreate Eden (was genuine or delusional)
Message-Id: <l03010d01b1a802c4d3d9ATnospam[207.71.50.219]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Sorry folks, an old file sent by accident while I was cleaning out my "Out"
file!
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 13:01:06 +0100
From: "jb" <hc19436ATnospamautovia.com>
To: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>,
 "Magnus Zotterman" <magnus.zottermanATnospampictura.com>
Subject: RE: Why would anyone...
Message-ID: <000001bd96c2$f291b8a0$106335c3ATnospamjb>
Content-Type: text/plain;
 charset="iso-8859-1"

Magnus wrote:
>Hi!
>I'm just wondering; Why would anyone want awaken their Kundalini? What are
the >benefits? I have only read about all the bad sides of Kundalini, like
people having >strange and frightening visions and pain all over the body.
Please explain this to >me someone!

No one wants to awaken K. without the proper preparations, because of the
bad sides you've read about. On a path of meditation, K. awakening is
unavoidable but the practice of meditation will avoid the traps,
tribulations and pitfalls of a forced awakening. Maybe an analogy can show
this. Suppose the goal of meditation is the land of silent bliss everlasting
and the way to it can only be made by car. You have to learn to drive and
get the car-keys. Meditation is equal to learning (by study) to drive and
getting the car-keys means the awakening of K., starting off the journey.
The journey itself can be called the rising of K. If you learn to drive
first, nothing can go wrong (nothing can get wrong that you cannot master).
If you get the car-keys first, a lot can go wrong: you've read all about it.

Jan
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 07:30:25 -0500
From: Holly Nelson <hnelsonATnospampangea.ca>
To: Kundalini mailing list <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Mysticism Web site
Message-ID: <358270E1.2718A3C5ATnospampangea.ca>

Hello everyone,

I have just joined this mail list, and will probably lurk in the shadows
for some time, but here's something nice I can offer for now.

I ran across a site called "Mysticism In World Religions", a cross
referenced wealth of quotes from the mystical traditions of
Christianity, Islam (Sufism), Judaism, Buddhism, Taoism and Hinduism. I
drop in here almost every day to read a bit.

http://www.digiserve.com/mystic/

Blessed be,

h.e.
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 10:23:58 -0500 (CDT)
From: hbarrettATnospamix.netcom.com (Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D.)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: the wonder of dark places
Message-Id: <199806131523.KAA04949ATnospamdfw-ix4.ix.netcom.com>

Coming back after being off-line for awhile, I noticed Freda's post
about losing 37 lbs. during her recent tough time, the most difficult,
I think she said, since her original awakening many years ago. A
recent descent of mine was darker, too, than it had been in years
although the certainty of divine process puts these moments in a
different context. But the pull and depth of the darkness surprised
me. Anybody else noticing this? Can anybody explain to me why the
darkness gets darker, sometimes? It this a balance to the bliss? I
have a very strong feeling of trying to hatch out of some structure I
can't see. Notes from the "already there" would be much appreciated!
Holly
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 12:37:41 -0300
From: "Larry Schmitz" <taniaATnospamcentroin.com.br>
To: <ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com>, <lobsterATnospamdial.pipex.com>
Cc: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...
Message-ID: <01bd96e1$339bd2e0$LocalHostATnospamlarry>
Content-Type: multipart/mixed;
 boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0016_01BD96C8.0E4E9AE0"

Dear people,

xxxtg wrote:
* "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am." *

Only we who have dogs can appreciate the profoundness of this statement.

Larry
-

Attachment Converted: "D:\EUDORA\ATTACH\Lawrence P. Schmitz21.vcf"
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 10:16:45 -0600
From: Nancy <NancyATnospamwtp.net>
To: "Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D." <hbarrettATnospamix.netcom.com>,
 kundalini-1 <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: the wonder of dark places
Message-ID: <3582A5E5.10F22858ATnospamwtp.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; x-mac-type="54455854"; x-mac-creator="4D4F5353"

> But the pull and depth of the darkness surprised
> me. Anybody else noticing this? Can anybody explain to me why the
> darkness gets darker, sometimes? It this a balance to the bliss? I
> have a very strong feeling of trying to hatch out of some structure I
> can't see.
>
Hi Holly and all,

I certainly don't have the explanation for these tough questions you
pose. Just my perspective.

I find myself being pulled into that spiritual abyss. (I've concluded
that I like the term abyss better than darkness. Darkness to me implies
something to fear. Abyss signals the unknown.)

Hard to explain these feelings. It's like I've lost my "place." I no
longer "fit" in with the crowd. I can't get excited about work goals,
the good life, the routine. I feel guided by this other reality,
something unseen and unexplainable.

When I try to share this with "normal" people, they just don't get it.
They immediately want to lump my experiences into something they can
grasp. I'm just "obsessive" or "emotional". Sometimes, I feel so lonely,
so misunderstood, so unaccepted. It's like I'm caught in-between two
worlds.

I don't stay long in the abyss anymore. It seems like I descend and
re-emerge with greater awareness in a matter of days now, not the months
that it took when this process began.

My current difficulty is being true to my soul and living with others.
It's very hard to maintain your truth when you are being challenged,
questioned and probed at every turn. I suppose that is what it takes to
build spiritual muscles, yet there are days when I just want to crawl
back under the covers and never come out again. For me, it's painful to
be ridiculed, accused of agendas I don't have, dismissed as obsessive. I
know the actions of others shouldn't affect me this way, but they do.
Still I can't go back to playing the game of being unconscious.

Everyone must have their own abyss to enter. Dipping into the unknown
and unseen can be very distressing. Maybe the pain for me has eased up
because I no longer fight my need to descend. I allow it to happen,
experience what it brings out in me, then ascend.

I really enjoy reading the comments from others on the list because it
helps me feel a lot less out of place. I'm downright average within this
group. My strange experiences are just ho-hum!

Thanks for the questions, Holly. Maybe someone else will have more
definitive answers...

Nancy
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 11:33:54 -0700
From: Wonderer <mrtn74aATnospamProdigy.com>
To: david.bozziATnospamsnet.net
CC: Kundalini <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Well-meaning religious fanatics
Message-ID: <3582C612.3C79ATnospamProdigy.com>

Thank you David. That was cute!
Cathy (BTW my son's name is David. I love that name.)

David Bozzi wrote:
>
> Wonderer wrote:
>
> > They just can't stand thinking that my husband (a
> > non-practicing jew) and I (a non-church goer) will someday burn in
> > hell.
>
> Gently remind them that Jesus was a non-practicing jew who also did notgo
> to church.
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 12:37:00 EDT
From: ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com
To: hbarrettATnospamix.netcom.com
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: Re: the wonder of dark places
Message-ID: <c8939af6.3582aaadATnospamaol.com>

In a message dated 6/13/98 11:24:28 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
hbarrettATnospamix.netcom.com writes:

<< Can anybody explain to me why the
 darkness gets darker, sometimes? It this a balance to the bliss? >>

Holly,

What goes up, must come down. What goes waaaay up, must come waaaaay down.
It is much like a pendulum swing - reminds me of that huge viking boat at the
county fairs that just goes from one side to the other, swinging to and fro,
higher and higher.

What I noticed, is that the pendulum starts beginning to swing less and less
after a while. The highs aren't so high. The lows aren't so low. Until
pretty soon there is just stillness.... ommmmmmmm.

At that point, it seems rather boring. LOL! (at least it was to me). We
have had a lifetime of these high's and lows - you know, the roller coaster
ride of life -- getting off of it is a wee bit different.

I believe the K actually exaggerates these hi's/lows, so that we can truly see
them for what they are. Nothing but a roller coaster ride. Experiences.
Nothing to get upset or excited over.

This stagnation lasted quite a while. It wasn't a dark night. It was just
blah. Nothing was happening in my life. I didn't seem to care anymore. It
wasn't a depression. I wasn't ever bored as I was fully capable of
entertaining myself. I missed the highs and lows.

I contemplated and meditated on this. What I discovered is that I had stopped
living! I had stopped caring about myself and others.

So I began living once again. Caring for myself and others. Being able to,
once again, to get on the roller coaster of life when I chose to, with full
awareness, and actually have fun while doing it, rather than being thrilled
and frightened, blissed and dark night. I could now observe myself just as I
had learned to observe the stagnation, or stillness.

Now when the pendulum isn't swinging, it is very peaceful, not blah. It is
living in the moment, not wanting any more than what is here right now.
Knowing full well, that if an experience should fall in my lap, I can now
choose or not choose to experience it.

It's a nice place to Be.

Much love to you, and enjoy the ride...
xxxtg

* Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today *

http://members.aol.com/Teeegeee/tgsplace.html <~~~~ on the web now!
Date: 13 Jun 98 16:43:48 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Why would anyone...
Message-Id: <3582AC44.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>

Lobster,

> Many people think if they find a teacher or technique they will somehow
> become spiritual. Circus performers.
> To find the innate wisdom we all have, means applying introspection,
> contemplation, meditation, thought, prayer, study - however you like to call
> it to the questions: 'What am I? Why am I? What is genuine/real/truth? What
> do I need to find these?'

Who is the finder? Tell me that. The finder exists only as the
searcher. When the searching comes to an end so does the finder. So
who finds? And what is there to find? Nothing. And don't even believe
that.

> The development of wisdom means we become independent of peoples
> expectations and serve their real needs. They do not know their real needs.

Who are you to serve?

> They clamour for attention, entertainment, justification and so on. And
> wisdom (through those in contact) says, 'You are false. You lie. You
> pretend. You do not wish for wisdom.'

Who is in contact?

> Now the wise know (however great their accomplishments), this is always
> true.

Who is wise? An identity being wise is an identity being foolish.

> The false always say - 'ah but I am wise, I know, I am divine,
> everything is truth'. That is why they are an impediment both to themself
> and others.

Who are you to assess what is an impediment to identity?

> So you see one is a path of ego enlargement (the false and easy
> path) and the other is a path of recognising, exposing and allowing the ego
> to fall away

ALL paths are ego enlargement. There is no spiritual path.

> (this requires efforts that most do not wish for).

How can effortless come about through effort?

> It is hardly
> surprising that people clamour to the false because that is their nature.
> Like calls to like.

Who are you, defining that some things are false and some things are
not?

You have invented negativity. You have a formula for it. You have an
image about it. And as such, it is a positivity.

--
Paul.

IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Date: 13 Jun 98 16:54:18 +0000
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Continuity
Message-Id: <3582AEBA.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>

> > What if one had the courage to stand alone, no friends, no enemies,
> > involved in nothing.
>
> Jan: Are you clairvoyant? It is an accurate description of my life for more
> than five years except that it takes no courage.

Jan, difficult to say. I have plenty of intuition. I have a tendency
to amplify thought if that is what you mean - to inflate thought, to
make of it images. I have very pictorial imagination. Actually to tell
the truth it isn't working that well today. Most of the time everyone
is my friend and everyone is my enemy, which is quite distressing. But
it does seem to bring about understanding, empathy, that sort of
thing, which I sometimes refer to as being mediumistic. It is on an
emotional level though, as emotion is basically thought with tonnes of
clout, and it is a reaction, and it is out of control because it is
trying to control.

--
Paul.

IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk

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