kundalini-l-d Digest				Volume 96 : Issue 177 

Date: Sat, 05 Oct 1996 
From: Paco 
Subject: Disclaimer

It's not my place to give advice regarding Tantra on this
list, or anywhere, really. When it comes to sex, I sometimes feel
that I have the morals of a $3000 a night Tokyo hooker. Women,
especially some older women, have really proven this to me extensively.
I can be used, at times, and it doesn't matter where my head or
my heart is at...I can be taken over by pleasure, and I've had this
rubbed in my face to where there is no denying it. I've had to admit it,
and I've had very painful emotional experiences in the past with women 
who didn't care anything about me as a person...and honestly, I 
can't say that I am any better than they are.

I taste love or intimacy just for a moment in time...I long for it,
yet somehow I resist it. I think that maybe I have like zero
self esteem or something, when it comes to my emotions and women.
I guess this involves my heart, or lack of a heart; I've experienced
in the past, opening from Kundalini, and yet love from outside
can be just like breaking a bowl of sunlight, it just destroys me,
it is so hard for me to face, to accept. I really hate things sometimes,
I really dread and fear losing people I care about...sometimes I just
hate this entire fucked up situation.

	Well, I don't even know why I'm writing this, but anyways,
I'm not trying to be some expert on the topic of sex and Tantra.
Tantra is divine. There's nothing I can say on the matter.

	I do make good progress, I feel, in my meditation and
development. I train in Pencak Silat, an Indonesian martial
art that employs many Yogic postures. Indonesian culture is
a true synthesis of the native animism, Buddhism, Hinduism
and Islam. The art has helped me tremendously in all areas,
and I would highly recommend looking into Indonesian wisdom
if you're looking for new clues. Their mystical tradition
is extremely great. My instructor lived for many years with
some tribes in West Java, and is world renowned. He has
helped me a lot, and is also my great friend.

	I don't think that celibacy is necessary or practical
for most people, including most Kundalini Yogis...that's all
I had wanted to say before, was let people be free, y'know?
I kind of threw a lot of themes in there...sorry. In any
event, I am more of a worldly person...I don't claim to be
a spiritual authority.
-
	I liked those Zen quotes, that was cool...I want to
get a good Zen book. How about this:
"Long way to go, nowhere to go." later

		---Paco



Date: Fri, 04 Oct 96 
From: Richard Satin 
Subject: Fwd: subscribe

------- FORWARD, Original message follows -------

From: L.D. McClanahan          \ Internet:    (ldmcclATNOSPAMeurekanet.com)
Subject: subscribe

Name:  L. D. McClanahan

Age:  66

When first aware of kundalini in my life?  Have had mystical or 
paranormal experiences many times in my life.  Have wondered how they 
worked, occurred.  First read about kundalini in a physician's article 
in Journal of Near Death Studies where he presented anatomical evidence 
about k and speculated about its role in NDEs.  That summer on 1993 my 
wife and I went to London where I bought every book with that title I 
could find.  It started my serious practice of meditation.

What are some of the things I have noticed?  As a beginner, I am 
noticing, sensing more energy out from and around my body.  I am better 
at visualizing chakra areas and energy states during meditation.  My 
body often tingles, especially my back and head.

What has changed/is changing in my life?  Believe I have finally found 
the "path" after years of reading and study about various religions and 
religious practices.  Have become serious about studying and practicing. 
Believe my sensitivities are better grounded in a process I can 
understand.
-
Particularly helpful practices?  Chakra meditation.  Pranayama breath 
control, chanting OHM, perineum muscle tightening while visualizing and 
sensing chakras and energy.  Monroe Institute Gateway tapes.  Work every 
other week with a massage therapist who can see chakras and the human 
energy field to discuss these issues and align my field.  

Service to others?  Have licenses as psychologist and professional 
counselor for State of Ohio in private practice.  Have consultant 
certification with The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis.  Work with 
families, marriages, children through geriatric; consult for 
adaptive/maladaptive behaviors for retarded folks; work with trauma 
survivors with dissociative/DID/MPD disorders.  Have American 
Psychological Association certification for alcohol and substance abuse 
disorders.  Am applied statistician.  Mention these in case some at k 
site might have some personal issue on occasion since most clinicians 
look askance at all this and use demeaning psychiatric labels.

Hoping to get out of this list?  Finally connect with those struggling 
to make sense of mystical, paranormal experiences on the path toward 
enlightenment, self realization and potentiation.  Being able to see 
energy fields and relate to my psychotherapy practice.  Having people 
there for some of my many questions and concerns, especially if my k 
experience becomes difficult. . .


------- FORWARD, End of original message -------


--
The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind.
Maya Angelou



Date: Fri, 4 Oct 1996 
From: wrigaATNOSPAMsisna.com (Anne Wright)
Subject: Re: L.D. & Hypnosis

>Welcome L.D.,
-        I am no longer a member of the K-list, but Richard sends me this
posting anyway. I am also a practicing counselor in Colorado. My practice
is changing rapidly since my awakening (where I got to view therapy from
the inside--but that is another story). Right now I am very interested in
developing my hypnosis skills (which are none). My mother has Alzheimer's,
and I think a little regression might make her more comfortable as her life
slips away. It is almost as if the dark side becomes more and more
prominent as the other parts erode away. I have another friend named Ian,
who is pretty experience in Hypnotherapy, and he thinks it is worth a try.
Any suggestions? I have been under hypnosis myself, and I did take a
course, but I just don't have the skills. Or do I? Welcome. Anne



Date: Fri, 4 Oct 1996 
From: WorcaATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: pain & emotions

It is my belief that ALL pain is caused by suppressed emotions - emotions
that we have not allowed ourselves to feel or express, because we've been
taught "you shouldn't feel that way because....."  I also believe that all
illness and disease is a manifestation of those suppressed emotions that have
been ignored for too long.

An acquaintence of my husband had had a dog for a pet for a long while.  This
dog was almost like her child; certainly a true member of her family.  This
dog got hit by a car & died.  This woman rationalized that there is no death,
only a change in form, and that her beloved pet was still available to her in
meditation.  She convinced herself that the dog's death was perfectly OK, it
was the dog's decision to leave, right timing, dog's mission here was
complete, etc.

Now, I agree with all that, but this women's cork finally blew months later
when she picked up some stray dogs that were wandering around in the street -
she had a fear that they would end up like hers - getting hit.  In the
caretaking of these 2 dogs and finding them homes, she realized that she had
never allowed herself to grieve over the "physical" loss of her dog.  She
would never again be greeted in the exact same way, never be able to cuddle &
pet this dog in his favorite ways, never be able to scratch him in his
favorite spot behind his ears, never again with any other dog would she have
the exact same kind of relationship, etc.  You get the picture.  

Finally, after so many months, she realized how much grief she had tucked
away somewhere in her body, and was causing her problems presently.  The cork
blew, and she cried from the bottom of her toes.  She gave into the feelings
of loss, and grieved whenever the emotions came up again, until she felt
truly at peace, and she could REALLY believe everything her rational mind had
told her previously.

So when you are in pain, look to when the pain started.  How did it get
triggered?  It may be an incident that was very small, where you
unconsciously told yourself, "Hey, this is nothing to get worked up over."
 That's true to you as an adult, but not to the child that you were that you
still carry with you.  Love yourself enough to support yourself in even the
"dumbest" upsets.  Go to a place where you feel safe, and express your pain!
 Cry, scream, throw an angry fit, say what you REALLY want to say, no matter
how nasty it is (just have the intent that that energy or thoughtform coming
out of your mouth will just ground to the earth - the earth can use that
energy and can transform it into whatever is best for it).  Let the emotion
flow THROUGH you, so that you can release it and heal.  It may take more than
once, because what got triggered you may have lifetimes of emotions stored
from similar incidents or situations.

FEEL, FEEL, FEEL, then love and cradle the part of you that feels hurt.  When
it's over, you'll feel so much lighter and happier.  And when you continue to
work with emotions this way, you get lighter and lighter and happier and
happier, and before long, you just hardly get triggered anymore.  You are
more able to love yourself and everyone and everything around you,
effortlessly.

Granted, when you are in the throes of these pent up emotions coming up like
a volcano, it is not pleasant.  I've gotten through it by knowing the only
way out is through.  In the midst of the garbage when you feel like your
whole world is falling apart, stop, take a look around you - everything is
OK.  What is falling apart is inside you, not out.  Old belief systems are
breaking apart and dissolving.  When you know this, it's easier to let
yourself go through it, knowing it will only last a short time (sometimes an
hour, sometimes a day or two - just depends on how deep it was stored and for
how long).  In the "big picture," that kind of time is nothing.  And I've
found it certainly IS NOT a waste of time.  The rewards have been so
gratifying, and I am now so grateful to be here.

Hoping the same for all of you,
     Love from my heart to yours,  Barb



Date: Thu, 03 Oct 1996 
From: melody.gaviganATNOSPAMnvonline.com (Melody Gavigan)
Subject: Re: an open mind
-
COOL POST!!  SO TRUE!!! JOY!!!

WA>You have entered a new age; an age of uncertainty, an age of confusion and
  >choas.  Where you will be in the next millinium depends upon how open you ar
  >to change.  Closed minds breed annihilation of the physical body.  An open
  >mind is essential for transformation.

WA>How do you keep your mind open?  Feel and visualize a funnel on top of your
  >head where new energies and new information is allowed to flow freely in,
-  >moving through the body, changing body, mind, spirit genetic codes, flowing
  >out through the feet to rise to a higher order, and once again entering the
  >funnel.

WA>An open mind requires an allowance of all emotions, as emotion will be
  >released from the cells to be transmuted to ecstasy.  You are carrying
  >illusory emotion from a thousand lifetimes.  It is now time to bring them up
  >to the surface, and feel them to allow the energy to be released and
  >transformed to a higher order.  The only way to bliss is through the feeling
  >of these old previously stuck emotions.
-
WA>With each cycle of the energy flow, the body becomes lighter, as if heavy
  >weights had been removed.  The experience of happiness, peace, joy, and love
  >of all become more and more a state of being rather than momentary highs.

WA>Work with this energy, these cycles.  Your persistence will bring rewards
  >that you can only dream about now.  Can you imagine yourself "floating"
  >through life in total peace, love, and bliss, where even physical work or
  >chores become more fluid, light, and easy?  Can you imagine your interaction
  >with people being joyful, loving, and light ALWAYS?  Can you imagine a life
-  >of abundance, where every one of your heart's desires comes true and is
  >experienced before you are even aware that you had that desire?  Can you
  >imagine the IMPACT your state of being will have on those that are still
  >searching for what you have found?

WA>Buckle up your seat belt and get ready for the ride of your life!  You have
  >embarked on the most magical journey you could ever imagine at this point.
  > Once you have "arrived," you'll realize that there is much more magic
  >available to you right at your fingertips.  Please remember, as the emotions
  >are released, and it seems as if your whole world is falling apart, to ENJOY
-  >THE RIDE....Know that the emotions are only illusions of lifetimes of past
  >false belief systems.  You're breaking those old molds!  Let them break and
  >crumble away.  A new enlightened, loving, and light you is waiting.  Again,
  >enjoy the ride.

WA>All experiences are valid, as they get you to where you are going....

 * 1st 2.00 #7384 * Trust Synchronicity in your life!


-
Date: Fri, 4 Oct 1996 
From: JamesBMannATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: pain & emotions

What you have said is right on the mark.  It really applies to this list,
because many of the symptoms people are reporting on this list are from
blocked energy.

Jim
-


Date: Fri, 04 Oct 1996 
From: Jan Watson 
Subject: Re: pain & emotions

WorcaATNOSPAMaol.com wrote:
> 
> It is my belief that ALL pain is caused by suppressed emotions - emotions
> that we have not allowed ourselves to feel or express

True for the most part, but there are the rare ones that take on the pain 
of others to relieve them in order to allow for the growth of that 
person/ group etc.  If you ever get a chance to meet one of these rare 
ones, it's awesome!

jan


-
Date: Fri, 04 Oct 1996 
From: lodpressATNOSPAMinetworld.com (Larry Newman)
Subject: Re: Fwd: subscribe

Richard Satin wrote:
> 
> ------- FORWARD, Original message follows -------
> 
> From: L.D. McClanahan          \ Internet:    (ldmcclATNOSPAMeurekanet.com)
> 
> Name:  L. D. McClanahan
> 
> Age:  66
> 
> When first aware of kundalini in my life?  Have had mystical or
> paranormal experiences many times in my life.  Have wondered how they
> worked, occurred.  First read about kundalini in a physician's article
> in Journal of Near Death Studies where he presented anatomical evidence
> about k and speculated about its role in NDEs.  That summer on 1993 my
> wife and I went to London where I bought every book with that title I
> could find.  It started my serious practice of meditation.
> 
> What are some of the things I have noticed?  As a beginner, I am
> noticing, sensing more energy out from and around my body.  I am better
> at visualizing chakra areas and energy states during meditation.  My
> body often tingles, especially my back and head.
> 
>
Welcome to the K-list. I'm sure you will bring a good balance of
energies to the discussions. My name is Gloria Greco, check out my
homepage at http://www.inetworld.com/lodpress/

Love to share some time soon.



Date: Sat, 5 Oct 1996 
From: WorcaATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: pain & emotions
-
Jan,

>True for the most part, but there are the rare ones that take on the pain 
>of others to relieve them in order to allow for the growth of that 
>person/ group etc.  If you ever get a chance to meet one of these rare 
>ones, it's awesome!

Yes, I agree that you are right.  I question taking the lessons away that the
pain is an indicator for, though.  If they were still able to "get it"
without the pain, I'm all for it.  I've even known of some animals that have
taken on illnesses, etc. for their owners.

Barb