kundalini-l-d Digest				Volume 96 : Issue 126 

Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: Jim Cook 
Subject: Paul Levy's Story

                           AWAKENING OR MADNESS
                           By:  Paul Levy
-

     In the spring of 1981 I was sitting in meditation, when just for an
   instant, a lightning bolt flashed thru my mind.
   Though I didn't realize it at the time, this was the start of a spiritual
   awakening that changed my life forever. I had stepped thru the looking 
   glass, never to return to the life that I was used to living.
   The resulting experiences were so overwhelming that I was hospitalized
   a number of times during the first year.
   I was diagnosed as having a severe psychotic break and was told I was
   manic- depressive. I was put on Lithium, and at times, Haldol
   ( an anti- psychotic). I was told I would have to live with my illness
   for the rest of my life. Little did the doctors realize that I was taking
   part in some sort of spiritual emergence/shamanic initiation process.
   But in actuallity was an experience of a far different order.

     I was one of the lucky ones,as I was able to extricate myself from
   the medical and psychiatric establishment, Which is  very ignorant
   of phenomena such as these. After years of incredible suffering where 
   I struggled to contain the experiences, I feel that I've integrated
   them to the point where I have something very precious to offer.
   I have recently started to openly talk about my experiences, giving
   my first public lecture in Portland, Oregon in 1993, which I called
   " Awakening or Madness?" I have become a teacher, assisting
   people through their own process of spiritual awakening, and have
   developed a vehical for waking up that I call 
   " The Dreaming Process: A Path to Awakening," which is based
   on the realization that the same dreaming mind that is dreaming
   our dreams at night is dreaming our life.

     It doesn't have to be this difficult for everybody; it certainly
   could have been easier for me. If only the doctors, my friends
   and my family could've understood what I was going through,
   the hospitalization could have been avoided.
   In the words of the late psychiatrist R. D. Laing, " Attempts
   to wake up before our time are often punished. especially by
   those who love us most. Because they, bless them, are asleep.
   They think anyone who wakes up, or who, still asleep, realizes
   that what is taken to be real is a dream is going crazy."

     In ancient wisdom cultures it was understood that there were
   certain individuals whose craziness was the sign of a passage into
   a higher conciousness. They realized that the person needed to
   be both honered and supported in their process.
   We as a society, need to recognize the existence of genuine
   spiritual emergences and learn to differentiate them from cases
   of psychosis. It is crucially important for us to do this, fo those
   who pass through this process successfully and become accomplished
   shamans, healers and teachers, have enormous gifts and blessings
   to share that will be of benefit to all of us.
   I had been doing Buddhist meditations for a full year when that
   lightning bolt flashed through my mind.
   Within a couple of days I was brought by amblance to a hospital.
   I had begun acting so unlike my ordinary, conditioned and repressed
   self that a close friend thought I was going crazy. I felt totally
   unselfconcious and amazingly free. I felt the creative energy of the
   universe flowing through me, like I was living on the forefront of
   the Big Bang itself. It was like my mind had spilled out from inside
   my skull and was manifesting and expressing itself through events
   in the outer environment. What was happening in the seemingly
   outer world was magically related to what was going on inside of me.
   The boundry between dreaming and waking, between inner and
   outer, was dissolving. It was as if I had woken up in a dream.
   I knew without a doubt that I was going through a deep spiritual
   experience. The experience was so overwhelming  that I had no 
   choice but to surrender and let go. I wasn't attached to my usual
   way to what the outcome  was going to be. I was simply trusting the
   experience, which was clearly not only the right thing to do, 
   but was the only thing I could do.

     In the very first room I was brought to in the hospital, some sort
   of lounge for psychiatric patients, was a blind women.
   Immediately upon seeing her, without any thought on my part at all,
   I went right up to her and found myself looking at her eyes and saying
   over and over the following words " All you have to do to see is open
   your eyes and look." These words were literally  coming through me.
,  I kept on getting closer and closer to her as I repeated these words,
   staring at her eyes all the while.
   Her eyes were a blind persons eyes, opaque with no color or radiance
   at all.
   What happened next I will never forget. In front of my very eyes her
   eyes began regaining their color and luminosity, going from the dead,
   diseased eyes of a blind person to normal, healthy, seeing eyes.
   She had regained her sight. At that moment a doctorbrought me into 
   another room and strapped me on a table. And there I spent the night.
   I remember lying there knowing I was going through some sort of
   spiritual experience and feeling that whoever I would think of I was
   in some way"bringing along." So I began trying to think of everybody
   I had ever known.

     The next morning I was brought to a room and the only other
   person in the room, sitting across a table from me, is coincidentally,  
   that (ex)blind women. She's looking at me and smiling from ear to ear,
   not having said one word to me as of yet.
   All of a sudden it was like a closed fist that was in my heart just
   completely opened. It was perfectly clear to me that this was my heart
   chakra blossoming. It is described as the opening of a thousand petaled
   lotus, and though I had never had this happen to me before it was an
   experience that I immediately recognized.
   At a certain point I had the spontaneous realization of what had 
   happened with this women the day before. I intuitively understood
   that her eyes were physically fine, it was just that she was not letting
   herself open her (inner) eyes and look. It was like she herself was
   keeping them closed. Ang yesterday I somehow "saw" this.
   Not only did I see this but I knew just what to say and do.
   It was like I had become a conduit for some deeper, healing forces.
   It was also clear to me that it was no accident that she and I had come
   together. It was clearly a synchronistic meeting, one in which we 
   were both playing roles in a deeper drama.
   At a certain point she says to me "Aren't you going to answer the
   phone call from Roy (my father's name)?"
   These were, literally, the first and only words she ever spoke to me.
   Moments later the nurse came into the room and sais that my
   father was on the phone.

     I was in the hospital for three days. On the second day I was in
   the office of the doctor in charge of me, Dr. Lantz, and was looking at a
   print of a Van Gogh painting that he had on his wall.
   It had rows of vineyard trees in it. I think. I remember an electric
   current coming out from my eyes and circulating around the print
   and then returning to my eyes.
   It was clear to me that this was some sort of "Kundalini" phenomena.
   But at this point there was nothing I could do but  merely witness it and
   marvel.

     I needed to convince Dr. Lantz that I wasn't crazy, or he was going to
   "Keep me here for a very long time. "  I realized that I probaby didn't
   want to hang out in a hospital much longer. So I literally forced
   myself down and began talking about my problems.
   My neurosis, my guilt, and my feelings double bound.
   After awhile he said " Fine, you're normal....You're free to go."
   I actually got together with Dr. Lantz the next week over lunch.
   He explained to me that my being able to step fully into my normal
   state of mind upon demand in the hospital was proof to him that I
   wasn't insane, as people who are in true psychotic episodes aren't
   capable of doing this.
   I told him what had happened with the blind women but he said
   there was a patient
   confidentiality which prevented him from going into it further.
   I was disappointed by his answer but I felt at this point there was
   nothing else I could do.

     Of course when I got back home all of my friends thought I had a
   nervous breakdown.
   But when you have an experience like that you know that something
   very profound is happening.
   The self- validating motive of the experience is so powerful that no one
   can convince you otherwise.
   The experience had erupted through my minds filters with force of
   revelation.

     Paul Levy has developed " The dreaming Process; A Path to Awakening"
   Which he teaches on the west coast.
   It is based on the realization that the same dreaming mind that dreams
   our dreams at night is also dreaming our life.

     Paul is in private practice assisting people through their own process of
   spiritual awakening.
   He can be reached in Portland at -
   (503) 226-2807
-
     




     
   
,
   
-


Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: reikiATNOSPAMbbs.pennet.com
Subject: Preparing the Temple

Tim

hi and welcom to the list.  I really enjoyed reading about the research
you have done.  As far as the nutrition goes, something that really
helped me out a lot was finding a Naturopath who uses a technique called
Contact Relfex Analysis.  What he basicly does is on the first office
visit is to check out about 50 or so points on the body and compare
muscle strength while doing so.  this way, he can tell if you need a
specific nutrition item, and adjustment, or whatever. i would highly
reccommend this as a physical assist to purification and tuning up the
physical body.

As far as the Kombucha goes,  go for it.  i have been taking it for over
a year now, and really believe that it is a "chi tonic".  Have you tried
Chi Kung or Tai Chi as an assist in your development?  That too seems to
help me a lot.

Hope you enjoy the book on "Don Carlos".  I think that could be a
required reading for all looking to not only survive this experience but
to excell as well.

in the light

john
reikiATNOSPAMhhs.net



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: WorcaATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: "the k thing"

Dan and others,
-
Please don't be distressed about all this, Dan.  You're taking it much too
seriously!  The reason I put "the end result" in quotes was so that people
might understand that I meant "so-called end result."  Next time I will try
to be more clear.  Sometimes I forget that I'm writing to a big group of
people instead of one or two....

I know that I will never stop growing.  I also believe that most of the posts
that had the phrase, "after k..." meant "after kundalini started."  I
certainly can't speak for everyone, but that's how I took those posts anyway.
-
You HAVE brought up an interesting topic in my head though, Dan.  I always
knew I would continue to grow, but I never considered where the energy to
this growth would come from.  Is K just one stage, where it becomes something
else when we are "done" with that particular level?  I have had no formal
training and have not read books on the subject, but I don't imagine that
when I am pure spirit, k will be still running through.  I know that I will
continue to grow & evolve, not necessarily with k at that time.  And will k
still run through when my total energy body has emerged, when I can be
"physical" at will, or not?
-
All opinions on this subject are invited!  I would hate to be accused of not
having an open mind - the minute I think I've learned it all, my growth
stops, as I would be closed to anything else coming in.  (Is that a message
for you too, Dan?  It's something that I have to consciously work on
continuously, so I'm not into blame, just awareness ;) ).

Blessings & Smiles to ALL,  Barb


-
Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: WorcaATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Preparing the Temple 

Greetings again to all, with special message to Tim,

Did you read last week where someone wrote, "When you can't walk on water,
ride a boat"?  I don't remember who said it or if I got the words exactly
right, but I loved it and it fits my life right now.
-
I too have had wonderful experiences with Colloidal Silver.  I have a problem
with yeast overgrowth in my body, which gives me lots of yucky symptoms when
I am not treating it.  The silver has really helped me function more
normally.  And when I feel better, I'm happier, & those around me are
happier.  I don't consider it a "stimulant".  I do consider it a boost to
help me over the hump at this time in my life.  Will I need it forever?  No.
 I am presently working emotionally on why I would attract parasites into my
body.  When I get to the core of onion, so to speak, I will no longer attract
that kind of condition.  I will be ready to "walk on water" with respect to
that particular area of my life.

I also take Colloidal Minerals, and I believe they have accelerated my k
process tremendously.  I am adding a lot of ancient truth & wisdom directly
to my cells (the minerals' vibrations), helping facilitate my enlightenment.
( MY BELIEF because of information I got while channeling.  It works for me.
 Throw it out if it doesn't feel right to you.  It FEELS right to me, so I
won't argue with anyone about the rightness or wrongness of it)  Again, I'm
actively working my process, so I don't believe I have to take this stuff
forever.  (My kids have even started going through noticeable k experiences
since the introduction of the minerals a little over a month ago!)

Tim, I also take grape seed, aloe, & DHEA, as well as "regular" vitamins.  I
appreciated your post, and I saved it to check out a couple other items of
interest.  Thanks!

I know some of you don't like it when others post about marketable things
being helpful to them.  What is the hang up with money?  I, for one, want to
allow myself to be supported financially in a comfortable manner - I deserve
it.  And I don't think money is dirty - to me, it is very spiritual.  And you
joined this list in order to get & give help, I assume, so what if the help
comes in the form of something you may want to purchase somewhere?  Help is
help, wherever it comes from, and I think it is just as valuable as a
marketable item - it's still only information which YOU can CHOOSE to use OR
NOT.  My opinion...

Blessings & Health,  Barb



-
Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: cmwithATNOSPAMcris.com (Michelle Withers)
Subject: kundalini and me.

Dear all,

I have been participating and lurking for about 4 months on this list.  I
have seen ALL manner of definitions of Kundalini.  All manner of arguements
about keeping the discussion focused, and then the flip - widening it to
embrace people who are naturally experiencing this thing "kundalini", which
many seem to need to define.

I don't know exactly what I am experiencing.  It is VERY physical,
sometimes annoying, sometimes absolutely breathtaking.  I am speaking to
angels, and to Mother Earth, feeling and knowing many different layers
within my inner soul.  This has been a very personal experience - which
hasn't been directed by anyone, and is happening naturally to me.

I see many of the symptoms I am experiencing discussed on this list.  It
has been a comfort to hear people speaking so openly about these generally
unspoken topics.  But my heart has been saddened by the constant arguement
and disagreement within the group, about defining the kundalini experience.


Why can't people just experience the rising of this tremendous
earthly/heavenly awakening - without others picking it apart, and casting
negative shadows on it??  I know that everyone is different and I will be
bowing out of the group - because I am obviously of a different mindset.
One which just wants to develop and share - without judgements.
-
I do believe that I am experiencing Kundalini - and I don't think that I am
going to raise above this experience - I am always going to be searching,
and feeling uncertain, and ALWAYS feeling the power of "K".  For me it is
just a natural energy flow - which I am learning from, and which is
teaching me.  It is heaven, it is Earth, it is God, and I absolutely love
it.  I am learning such exquisite things about myself and about who I have
been.

Kundalini for me has been impossible to define.  This experience for me has
come from so many different directions, that my head is constantly
spinning.  I am manifesting physical heat, and pain occasionally - but
these are only a tiny part of the experience for me.  The main focus has
always been on the internal conversation, which is teaching me to be a
better person, and to integrate all the persons I have been, into the one
which I am now.  This would include being able to see visions within
crystals, calling up the Mother Earth energy in dance - meditating with
eyes open, seeing my astral self shifting in a mirror - talking to angels -
seeing auras, becomming a concious art channel, on and on.....  I am
constantly re-defining mySELF, and having a wonderful time, experiencing
Kundalini as a driving force of extreme unconditional love.

Kundalini has been the catalyst and the love expression within this awesome
experience.  It courses through my body, making me feel insane with the
passion and mystery and power.  I would have never believed that my body
could experience such a *feeling* - for me it has been almost more than I
can stand, and I am constantly going around hugging people - giving some of
the love to others, because I couldn't possibly contain it within myself
:)  this would be selfish in a sense.  :)

Maybe at some point I will re-subscribe and join back in the conversation.

I just didn't want to dissappear before saying ta ta - for some of you I
have really connected with, and have sensed that I was touching some -
although I just don't think I fit into the discussion here.  I am having a
different experience, and feel out of place - like I am stirring the pot,
and possibly confusing some who might have been just sorting out their
feelings.

In light and love,
-
Michelle



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: Mary Knapp 
Subject: books and tapes to recommend

Part of my healing yesterday was to discover that a friend had left on my
doorstep some audio tapes,  Carolyn Myss's "Why People Don't Heal".  I have
only heard one of her many tapes and was most impressed.  She has a series
of six entitled "Sacred Anatomy" that deals with each chakra.  And she has
several books as well. I recommed them to this group.

Once again, thank you all for the good wishes.  I am certain they are helping.



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: Mary Knapp 
Subject: throat healing

Last week a few of us were dealing with sore throats, etc.  Mine was
diagnosed as strep and I was given antibiotics which made me better but...
As they began to wear off it all started coming back and I just dreaded
another miserable week or two of low energy, pain, etc.  I halfheartedly
prayed for a better way to heal myself.

As I preparing for bed my Paulson book, Kundalini and the Chakras, sort of
jumped off the night stand and fell to the floor with a thump.  I picked it
up and browsed through it and started massaging my head and neck and throat.
I began to feel very much better and very tired.  I slept and woke about
3ish and felt better than expected, but not great.

I heard a song in my head. (My intuition often comes from song lyrics.  If I
feel it is blocked I listen to music on the radio for a while to feed the
data banks. It seems to work.)  The song went "Rock me tender, rock me
slowly. I have never felt loved like this before."

At first I took the second line as comfort.  But then I thought to rock
myself. Of course, for me, that just involved the body from the neck down.
Eventually I realised I was ignoring the source of my pain - head and neck,
and so I brought them into it as well. I do feel better and I do feel I will
be healed without chemicals.

I pass this along to the list in case there are any others out there who
think of their bodies as neck down only.  I look a little like Stevie Wonder
at times but I do think I learned something major. I had been thinking of
the neck and throat as a bridge between head and body.  I have now expanded
that view.

Thank you all for the light and love sent this way.  I am certain it helped.

Rondi - maybe this is the tree trunk you kept seeing.

Mary
 


-
Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: Mary Knapp 
Subject: leaving

Michelle, 

I for one will miss you terribly.  I hope you'll miss us so much you'll need
to come back and give us some more of that overabundant love.

I honor your right and responsibility to choose what's best for you, but I
would like to say that I think the list is changing and growing a lot just
now (we just survived a major crisis, I'd say) and it is those who
participate who will determine how it changes and what directions it grows in.  

Terry Cole Wittaker, a TV minister, used to say, "When you go to a party and
don't want to stay because something is missing, instead of leaving, ask
yourself: 'Can I supply it?'"  Ya know what I mean?

Love and Light,
Mary 



At 11:47 AM 8/31/96 -0500, you wrote:
>Dear all,
>
>Maybe at some point I will re-subscribe and join back in the conversation.
>
>I just didn't want to dissappear before saying ta ta - for some of you I
>have really connected with, and have sensed that I was touching some -
>although I just don't think I fit into the discussion here.  I am having a
>different experience, and feel out of place - like I am stirring the pot,
>and possibly confusing some who might have been just sorting out their
>feelings.
>



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: kundalini and me.

Michelle,
If you observed the list for 4 months you would see a few times when the
forces clashed, but isn't that life. And, isn't it a part of the example that
k must work through? All to often what is missing is detachment, when people
react, which isn't abnormal for human beings, then why can we not see it as a
sign of their development.  And, leave it at that. This is very much a part
of the dance and while the vibes are uncomfortable sometimes this is
conversation. Where there is no reaction and true understanding then we have
one who is working out of the head centers and not out of the body. That is
all it is. Do you agree with this?? No one is to blame, the reflection is all
that is coming through. Observe, detach, and connect up to divine will.
Gloria



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 96 
From: Richard Satin 
Subject: Fwd: Economic Loss

------- FORWARD, Original message follows -------

Date: Friday, 30-Aug-96 11:01 PM

From: Bill Peay                \ Internet:    (bpeayATNOSPAMaloha.net)
To:   Richard Satin            \ Internet:    (libraATNOSPAMexecpc.com)
cc:   Bill Peay                \ Internet:    (bpeayATNOSPAMaloha.net)

Subject: Economic Loss

Aloha Richard,

I really like this one you provided us:


"I have a feeling that the people I will reach with my communication: the
effective, creative, spiritual, busy people with long experience and good
knowledges of
the k-litterature and similar things leave the list after a few weeks
lurking. The signal-to-noise level is to low for them. They don't have the
time and patience to select the raisins.

"(I waste a lot of time erasing all these chat-noises. I erase at a high
velocity, and do sometimes miss the signal, at least the value of the
signals is decreased... a kind of hopelessness...)


Have you heard about the concept "economic loss?"  It states that when you
choose to do something in life, like read senseless chat for an hour, you
have lost that hour to do something -- anything else.  Every time someone
posts an "I agree," comment to the K list, a minute or two of 140
subscribers lives is sucked up needlessly.  The sad thing is, that minute
or two could have been spent engaging a real meaningful message, learning
about K experiences of others, etc, rather than reading about Jesus Christ,
homeopathy, sex, or "I agree."  When the signal-to-noise ratio approaches
all noise, it ceases to be worth an hours time for a couple of minutes
pleasure.

Thanks for the invite back to the list.  I have some vacation time coming
up later this year, and I'll resubscribe to check things out then.
Hopefully a few weeks will give the list enough time for all the necessary
comments to settle down about the current discussion themes, and get
everyone back to K, that is if the posters are serious about helping
everyone keep focused.  Till then, I have a lot of pending work to do on
the Kundalini Resource Center to spiff it up some and add a few valuable
cross-links, etc.  My thoughts, and hopes, are with everyone on the K list.
It's still a great idea, and there are some real gems posted from time to
time...
-
Aloha for now,

Bill

PS.  Feel free to post this to the list or rephrase the "economic loss"
concept in your own words.  Perhaps if people realize that their posting is
requiring the attention of 140 people for a minute or two, a minite or two
for which they will not be able to read other posts, they might stop a
second and think, "is this REALLY important enough to say to the whole
group, or can I simply reply directly to the poster alone..."




------- FORWARD, End of original message -------



Devils can be driven out of the heart by the touch of hand on hand,
or mouth on mouth.
Tennessee Williams



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: beginner sinner

Michelle,
Couldn't agree with you more about the energy changes underway, we are going
to find that this frequency brings tests, that is about as simple as it gets.
There are 9 western states on fire, never anything like this. We've spent
most of August in smoke here in Reno.  It is very different. And, yet, where
there is awareness of 'true spiritual insights' that 'are practiced and not
preached' there is also that great calming effect to all around and the
ether. This is the test at hand, can we raise ourselves to a place of inner
peace so that all that is released from us ... is a constant hum of light. It
is possible where there is great love and understanding for the higher and
lower selves in the realization process. God Bless all of you. Gloria
-


Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: introduction...

Tell me more about this practice in the specifics?  I'm a veteran with the k
force and it is interesting to see what the different yoga practices are
since I have always just had my training spontaneously through spirit. You
can check out my homepage at http://www.inetworld.com/lodpress/ 
Then lets talk. Gloria



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 
From: GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Fwd: Anonymous Post (Awakening Awry?)

Doris,
Your mom sounds like she is experiencing some chakra blocks along with K
rising. Why don't you pick her up a simple k book and tell her it is
something that you have come across that seems to fit with her experience. Go
to my homepage and print out my k story and tell her that she is welcome to
talk to me if that will help. This kind of thing is going to happen a lot
right now because of the stepped up frequency we live in, and doctors are not
going to know anything about it. It is all new, and those few that do
understand are not considered mainstream enough to be of value. Your
information that came to you is very good, you love your mother it shows, so
share it with her and she will respond. Let me know how it goes. GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
http://www.inetworld.com/lodpress/ 



Date: Sat, 31 Aug 96 
From: Richard Satin 
Subject: Re: kundalini and me.

Dear Michelle,

I am very saddened by your post, though I respect your decision.  If the
truth be known, sometimes I feel the same way.  Especially this past week.

> I know that everyone is different and I will be
> bowing out of the group - because I am obviously of a different mindset.
> One which just wants to develop and share - without judgements.

This is the type of list we are trying to develop here.  I think that there
is a good chance we can succeed.  If not, there really is not much point for
us to continue.  We all have many other things we can be doing with this
time.

I do hope that you will reconsider - or at least come back in a few weeks to
try again.

Very truly yours,
Richard


Devils can be driven out of the heart by the touch of hand on hand,
or mouth on mouth.
Tennessee Williams