Date: Mon, 19 Aug kundalini-l-d Digest	Volume 96 : Issue 100 
Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Wendy
Subject: Re: Void

Hi Jean,

Wow, your 'words' aren't words or  "poems" at all.  They are the
combinations of letters to form sounds which sing.  I hear wind chimes in
this poem.  

I always hear the sounds "behind" or from words.  Always have.  And I think
that words were created for this purpose, actually.  And, if one listens
with a slightly increased attention to the sounds of the formed letters, the
singing of the Soul is heard.

What a glorious poem, Jean.

Wendy


>
> I am new to this computer stuff and frequently get lost on line but am
>learning ever so slowly.  I have been in a full blown K awakening for
>approximately 3 years.  Awesome stuff.  I have been doing a lot of writing
>and felt the need to share a poem I wrote concerning the void.  So here it
>is.
>
THE VOID OF SOLACE
The freedom to grow into being
is found only in a space
apart from the structure of chaos
detached from the human race.
And in this space, set apart from
time
transcendent from the guise
there finds the place of 
solace
where all true power 
lies.
For it's the space that holds the
light
in the portals of the mind
to see all God's creation
through the eyes of human
kind.
And it's in this space of
silence,
where lie the seeds I
sow
containing only love's
embrace
that's  where desire
grows.
And it's the space between the
sounds
in which no limits can
discern
that pause between the notes to
build
the music time 
returns.
And it's the space beside 
each
thought
where my beloved calls 
to
me
In the quiet of the
moment
There lies
eternity.
For I play in the open
space,
create in the hollow
place
and suffer for redeaming
grace
All inside the
void
Where the sounds of
silence
reveal to me

All creation as
one
Epiphany. 
>
>I hope someone enjoys this poem and finds some wisdom and insight in the
>words.  Words do not serve in this new awareness.  But I find solace in my
>feeble attempts to make sense in words that do not always serve. 
>Reading your posts, I realize I have found a group of people who speak my
>language.
>Hurray!  I hope to figure this computer thing out so I can join the group.
> God bless and peace be with you all.  I send you light and love,
>                                               Jean 
>
>

Leap and the net will appear.
http://www.tiac.net/users/wenders
___________________

  Don't take advice, take a chance, roll the dice, learn to dance.
	                 - David Wilcox
___________________


 
Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Dan Gahlinger 
Subject: Re: Warning Label: Long email.

At 02:26 AM 8/19/96 -0400, you wrote:
>Hi All,
>
>Dan, I'm amazed at all the physical manifestations you describe!  You seem
>pretty ok with all the changes.....like it hasn't thrown you for a
>'loop'..... (I've done several 'loops'!!!!!! dizzying sometimes!) and I'm
>curious to know how others close to you have reacted to the changes (esp
>things like eye color, etc..how remarkable)?  I'll also be interested to
>hear if others know of what you describe in terms of the sensitivity when
>being touched, shook hands with, etc.  I am way way way too opened up to
>taking in pain and this has caused me many times to isolate myself from
>others just to keep up my strength at times.  Distance.  I hope someday to
>be able to sit with it around everyone and not have it be so intense.
>Suggestions welcome.
>

well, you walk into the bathroom one day, look in the mirror and your chin
hits the floor, and just stare for a moment or three. and usually check for
a few seconds to make sure you're not seeing things. Usually after the first
time, the next changes aren't as bad. for me, mild changes didnt bother me,
but major changes still threw me off. these days its pretty much normal, and
just a curiosity to see what color they are occasionally.

the pain thing is very similar to what you say. You've got to work on
shielding yourself, preparing yourself for the onslaught of emotion from the
other person. I did this for 20 years, and still have to be careful. of
course, I wasnt actively working on it, jsut avoiding it pretty much most of
the time.
People offer an hand to shake, slough it off somehow, anyway i could.

I take the changes in stride, mostly because there is a deep awareness,
always has been that I am not who I am supposed to be, or appear. Like a
butterfly coming out of the caccoon (sp), there's an emergence of the true
self, which I am uniquely aware of, I know it in excrusiating detail, of
course, knowing and accepting are two very different things. The
non-exceptance causes you to hit (splat) or bounce off the wall, which
causes more agony and pain. and you'll just go through it again (that
section is also for Karol Anne who did something like this I believe). For
me, the biggest part is now the acceptance, I know my true self, perhaps not
as much as I need or want, but the realization is there, I know what it is,
for the most part, where I am from, what I'm supposed to be doing, but am
trapped in this existance until the changes complete.

>I've heard a lot of talk now about awakening the kundalini through various
>practices and spontaneous awakenings, both.  Have any of you ever seen or
>made any kind of direct correlation to spontaneous awakenings and
>experiences with the death or loss of someone close to you?

not at all for me. no one close to me has died, however it's interesting you
should mention that, because I've had a premonition that a close friend will
die in about two months. so far i've had a dozen of such premonitions, and
thus far I've never been wrong. this time, i hope i am.

>
>I keep trying to 'pinpoint' my own kundalini.....and can't even begin to be
>as specific as most of you are in knowing when it began and which
>experiences are k related or not.  I  *think* it began about 4 years
>ago....but the more I read/hear/discuss this with others, I think it was
>probably going on a lot longer.  Sometimes I just have to let go of even
>thinking this is 'k' and just 'exist'...and not try to figure it all out.
>But, the mind wants to 'know'...and inevitably I find myself looking for
>answers/information/validation again.  

mine is about 3 weeks ago for the first real movement. about 2 weeks
previous to that of twitching and muscle spasms. now that i look back, i can
see the signs easily.

>
>Someone here, sorry I can't recall who right now, mentioned that many of
>these things that we've experienced might actually be precursors to K rather
>than full blown K having already begun.  Again, sometimes it's too confusing
>to even try to sort out for me.  If in fact this is k i've been
>experiencing, it has been a roller coaster ride unlike anything imaginable.
>And came totally unexpectedly and with no preparation on my part.  Highs,
>lows, but all through it has been this White Light beacon making it 'ok.'
>
>Even right now, as I try to get across whatever it is I'm tryin to say  I
>feel very 'fuzzy' headed about it all.  Spacey.

thats normal. i've gotten a lot of the "it might not be a k", esp from Dr.
Kason, who is excellent. Of course, the major thing to remember is the
experience is unique to each person, as anyone who knows should tell you,
and also, it's your perception and how you deal with it. No one has the real
right to say what you do or do not feel, unless you are not being honest
with yourself.

>
>I've had a lot of stuff with my feet and circulation lately.  It comes and
>goes.  My feet hurt frequently.  The tops and soles - the pain is usually
>isolated to one or two spots but the spots aren't always in the same place
>when they're hurting.  the pain go elsewhere??????>

really? i've had this too, shooting, stabbing, hot buring pains, esp in the
tips of the toes. never could figure this one out, and pretty much ignored
it. 

>
>I think I'm pretty out of touch with a lot of what people describe here that
>has happened to them physically.  Don't know if that's because it simply
>hasn't 'manifested' strongly  enough in that way or I just am not
>able to 'feel' it very specifically.  Does this make sense to anyone?  I
>don't want to make things more complicated than they already have BECOME
>from all this in my life!!!

completely wrong word Wenders. no such thing as "strong" or "weak" here.
every experience is different. if you get the physical, you get it, if not,
you don't. personally i'd rather be in the don't category, but having been
in the "do" category, i see pluses and minuses for both. ah, relax, "go with
the flow" :)

>
>As far as the connection with death, I'm curious because I've been learning
>more about the experiences people have had with NDE.  Awhile after what to
>me *felt* like what is described as a full blown k awakening my dad died.
>Just BEFORE he died I was having a lot of psychic stuff (even before he
>became ill).  Not with or about him but with others.  Automatic writing.
>Etc. etc.

not at all with me really, except as above with the premonition. i had my
NDE at 8yrs old, just before my change or maybe it was after. it's been too
long. automatic writing is really cool, as is dousing.

>
>I know when anyone close has died before in my life, before any stirrings
>(or awareness perhaps?) of kundalini, I have always felt *very* connected
>with their Spirit and sensing them 'leave' their physical bodies and return
>to spirit.  Even when I was not present with them at their death or even
>close by.  (Hope my terminology isn't too crude or innaccurate to get my
>point across here....)

I dont have that either. just a sensation about the person, the premonition,
if they will die.

>
>I think the words some of you wrote to Dan about his son and death were so
>beautiful and 'right.'  I have a friend who is only 19 who is having surgery
>for an enlarged thyroid in a week or so.  He's been losing weight really
>quickly and, until a talk we had recently, I felt he was making light of
>both his illness and his fear.  Denial. Had been for about a month before he
>finally was convinced by a close friend to seek medical help.  I know how
>valuable denial can be when we 'need' it (for whatever reason at the time we
>do) and I just hoped and prayed for him that he'd break through it and start
>being more actively involved in his own ability to self heal.
>Visualizations work, etc etc.  We had a talk the other night and I tried to
>explain to him what you all put so succinctly into words  here for Dan and
>his son.  I am going to send him those posts too!!!!   They say it so much
>simpler and 'better' than I was able to when talking with him.  But, I told
>him what I 'know' of death from my own experiences/perceptions.  

remember, that's the OTHER Dan, not me. try not to get us confused. :)

>
>We talked of his fear of death and when I explained what I had been shown he
>*got it*....it just all clicked in for him.....the Big Picture stuff.
>Hearing him understand and go with this....how it changed his awarness level
>and how much happier and at peace he seemed with things....letting go of the
>fear of 'outcome' of whether he lives or dies...and focusing on picturing
>himself the way he wishes to be....healthy and well.... well....I'm sure
>every one here can relate.  I know for my friend it was mainly on the
>intellectual level, but you also have that knowing sense when there is more,
>as well.  I know he 'gets it' now....and I can't begin to tell you the Joy
>in that...

I can't see the joy in letting go of the outcome, but of course, everyone's
life is different. I am very self-aware of my mission here, and sometimes
worry greatly, always keeping track of the tell-tale signs in the world
whether things are moving ok or not.

>
>I'm reminded of the line "the Power and the Glory"......the power of this
>awareness continually astounds me and challenges me to work harder to move
>closer.  I'm like a baby learning how to walk for the first time.  Dan G's
>description here earlier about how his life has changed, his focus, all
>that.....phew....well.....that's exactly where this has taken me, too.  I
>walk around in the same spaces I 'once' occupied, with the same family and
>friends and work around me, etc etc.  But I'm a totally 'different' person
>(lol i know that's probably not the way to see it, but it's how it feels to
me).

thats exactly how it is, except to me not the baby stuff, just a growth,
learning, like anything really. your spirit is emerging. spiritual emergence
they call it. theres a book about it, really aughta pick it up someday. :)

>
>Mary, I 'read' what you wrote quite differently from the way Dan G did,
>apparently.  I felt your words were very special and showed a lot of depth
>and compassion.  I think we hear in each other's words sometimes 'where we
>are' at that moment, partly, and that helps explains the different views and
>reactions we have with one another, don't you think?  Dan's 'reading' made
>sense to me, too...but didn't evoke the same feelings I got from your words.
>

well I was a bit let down because there was no discussion of the communing
with the trees, as I call it. I was really looking forward to that. :)

Dan.
there are always possibilities...


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Dan Gahlinger
Subject: Re: Changes

>At 11:03 AM 8/19/96 -0400, you wrote:
>>Hi Gemini Dan:
>>
>>I don't profess to have any deep insights here about what you are
experiencing.
>>Have you looked up the meaning of the colors that you are experiencing? That 
>>may provide some insight.
>
>actually no, but I should.  although rooting out the meaning of the
colors could be a real chore too... dont know where to begin with that.
>
>>
>>And remember you Guardians and Guides. They are there waiting to assist you.
>>All you need do is ask.
>
>they just snicker at me.  they're rather obnoxious these days.
Fate/Destiny has been a better "guide". I've been on some rather interesting
and scary spiritual trips lately, and all I can say is... "gaaaaaahhhh" :)
>
>Dan.
>


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Arlene Benjamin
Subject: Soulfullness

Greetings All,

Welcome Jean. How beautiful, the poem, you shared with us. I, too, can hear the
wind chimes, as like Wendy shared.


Maimu: Thank-you for sharing your insights. It's a wonderful feeling of
       connectedness.

Dan and Wendy: I am wondering if you ground yourselves more with each "change"
               that you go through? I have been receiving this message for
               myself...To be sure I am firmly grounded. I understand this 
               message to be a "precursor" to coming changes. I have also 
               noticed distinct blue rings around the periphery of my eyes.
               I cannot honesty say they have always been there or if I am
               just now taking note of them.

Love and Light and Laughter,
Namaste'...Arlene
How wonderful
How mysterious
I gather firewood
and carry water

P'ang Chu-Shi


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Royale Jills
Subject: Re: kundalini

Dan. Id suggest for you to cool your energy by 1. not doing any K raising
exercises for  awhile. 2doing lots of cooling things. 3.Relax more often
and more deeper. Dont push  yourself.  Try it. Royale


Date: Mon, 19 Aug 
From: Royale Jills
Subject: To Jean

You have joined the group! Welcome to you. I enjoyed your poem. Royale


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Royale Jills
Subject: Re Dan G.

Well, I like to commune with nature including trees.  Ive fully accepted the
earth as  my mother and know that she feeds, houses and cloths me every day
as she tried to do  for all of her children.  Supposedly in the dim dark
past she was once perfect but not  today.  She has been "messed up".  If a
planet or a planetary spirit can feel -she is  very sad today. Royale


 
Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Royale Jills
Subject: karma

Hi all;  Ive noticed lately that there has been talk of karma. The meaning of
that  word was once told to me by Alan Watts. He said that the west has a
misconception of  it.In the East the word is used to mean only -action-. 
Whereas here we think of it as  meaning retribution of a sort.  i.e. if
some says, "Its your karma" that you broke up  with your spouse, It only
means it was because of your own actions, not because of some  mystic
revenge coming from the past. Or it was something you did to make spouse leave.
 An action only, with no implications.  Royale


Date: Mon, 19 Aug 
From: Wendy
Subject: The

Hi Maimu,

Just read this post of yours and I'm shivering ****very**** strongly.  I
suspect it comes from reading about YOUR "initiation" and in doing so it has
recalled vividly to me one of my own.  I hope you don't mind my sharing it
with you...  

I was told at the time of this particular vision that it was an 'ascension'
ritual I was both witnessing and part of.  I had no idea what that even
'meant' on many levels.  I'd never meditated on any kind of regular
basis....but had been going through a period in my life where I was and
wanted to be WIDE OPEN to whatever was 'out there.'  Someone else suggested
the word 'initiation' as well....

This "initiation/ascension" came in the form of a vision of a cave.  (I have
a poem about this on my web site, if interested.)  I could 'go into' this
cave through the outer walls...in and out....and saw some type of ceremony
in progress.  There were several Spirits present.  Two were actually
recognizable to me in 'human' form as one was a young girl I had known in
'real' life named Ana (I'd had an automatic writing experience about Ana's
death but didn't know when it was happening that she was dying at the same
time the poem about her was coming 'thru' me).  The other was of someone I'd
never met and I saw him clearly and got his first name.  Edgar.  I knew
nothing of the infamous Mr Cayce previously except that he was some psychic
healer from Virginia.  (Who else can we tell these incredible stories to who
won't think we belong in a padded cell!!!  This is NOT something I talk
about a whole lot with friends!  [slight twinge even doing it here for 'all'
to see....but it feels good]

"God" was present in the cave as a sort of modern artsy rectangular bright
yellow mass of Light on the back wall of the cave.  (I perceived God as
having taken this form within the cave in order for us to 'see' him
(words....grrrr...him/her/it)..... anyway, there was a stairway leading up
from the back of the cave to another 'level'/chamber.  Which I assume would
be the next 'level' once the ceremony here had been accomplished.  I still,
to this day, do not know what the Spirits were actually doing.  It wasn't
shown to me.  But there are many other details which I'm going to write down
after I send this off.

All this was happening during a time when I had several visions going on
simultaneously.  The first day this happened I went online to talk with a
cyberfriend in California.  I told him I was seeing a cave.  He interrupted
me and went on to describe the whole thing in great detail, just as I
experienced it!  But his view was limited to just outside the entrance to
the cave.  He saw the same cave (same description, etc etc) but was not
'allowed' to go and view it from inside, for some reason.  I'd never
experienced anything like this before...a shared vision.  Or just a very
strong psychic connect.  Quite dramatic.  

Gads, Maimu, I hadn't written any of this down at the time, so thank you for
unleashing the cork!

Then one evening, as I was letting our dog out before going to bed, I looked
up in the sky and directly over the 'cave' entrance (yes, well, it turned
out this cave was located in a mountainside just above the house I had
rented  a few months before because I knew I 'had' to live RIGHT
there...whole 'nuther story...sorry to digress so)....and there was a huge
ball of white light above the cave opening.  I kept staring at it trying to
determine if it was a large star (way too big and many other large stars
nearby to compare it to), a spacecraft of some kind (plane, satellite,
ufo?...after all, this was in Santa Fe, New Mexico! )...or what?  

As this was all very new and unsettling to me at the time I called my son
outside to look at it with me.  I really needed that validation that 'it'
even 'existed.'  I asked him to look up and tell me what he saw and, phew,
thankfully he saw the same ball of light.  We stood and watched it for some
time.  It faded gradually then grew brighter.  This happened a few times.
The light coming down from it was focused on where the 'cave' opening was
directly!  I just kinda stood there with my mouth open, standing behind my
son, holding onto him for 'ballast.'  Gawking and in that wondrous awe state
I'm becoming more familiar with.  Then the ball of light vanished instantly.
Poof.  Not a trace.  

I got up early the next morning, while the sky was still dark and went
outside and looked up and there was nothing there.  When my son got up I
asked him to tell me if what had happened the night before had happened or
if I'd dreamt it...he "pinched" me and said that it had.  (Sanity check!)  I
checked for that ball of Light every day while I lived there and never saw
it again.

The images of the Spirits within the cave are so vivid.  Stupid me, I hadn't
written any of this down at the time.  The poem about the cave came to me
only about a month ago. 

It was during these cave visions that I realized Ana was one of my guides.
Ana was a young girl I had known "in real life" who'd died about a year
before the vision and whose death was the catalyst for my transformational
shift in consciousness.

I suspect, after reading your mail today Maimu, that there are soooo many
initiations, ascensions, etc etc going on all around us every day.....and
it's comforting to think about others having them too.  If anyone has any
they want to share with me I'd truly love to hear about them.

One of my guides (first and only one that I was aware of at that time) was
present with me through the experience and it was as if he was showing me
the way without actually driving the chariot .  I was in the 'driver's
seat.'  With absolutely no idea where I was headed, of course! LOL  But on a
full tank of unleaded!

I've come to accept so many things as 'second nature' now....and I've never
really questioned a lot of what has been shown to me.  Small fragments of
these experiences appear to hold keys to The (my word for it all - "The").

Has the young girl guide stayed with you now, since your initiation?  Or
"come back" [as you said she didn't stay long then]?  Do you speak with
her????  Any similar experiences since?

It all seems so 'fantastical' at times and one can't help but want and
maybe need?> to relive these experiences.  At the same time, I feel cautious
about overanalyzing or trying to read too much into it and just be open to
everything.  That's how it all began for me in the first place.

Dan, I'm thrilled to hear today that experiencing white light for you is
less painful now!  Hope it continues.  Maybe it was that skydive that did
it? 

Love and Light,
Wendy

Leap and the net will appear.
http://www.tiac.net/users/wenders
___________________

  Don't take advice, take a chance, roll the dice, learn to dance.
	                 - David Wilcox
___________________


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Dan Gahlinger
Subject: Re: kundalini

At 09:20 AM 8/19/96 -0700, you wrote:
>Dan. Id suggest for you to cool your energy by 1. not doing any K raising
exercises for 
>awhile. 2doing lots of cooling things. 3.Relax more often and more deeper.
Dont push 
>yourself.  Try it. Royale
>

problem with that is doing more often and deeper relaxation usually triggers
the k for me. it can tend to be rather annoying. [grin]

I was full of energy the last week, had truck loads I didnt know what to do
with, gave it away to people in need, this week I feel like death warmed
over, ran out of energy saturday, hit the wall as it were. i'm kinda burned
out now. augh... :)

Dan.


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: hbarrettATNOSPAMix.netcom.com (Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D.)
Subject: Re: Throat Chakra

You wrote: 
>
>I am recently feeling that the throat is the bridge between the body 
and the
>mind.  Somehow this is a very powerful new insight for me.  I was sort 
of
>anti-body before K.  

This feels right to me.  When I feel the energy rising, it usually 
starts in my throat and then spreads to the feet and the spine, etc.  

Holly


Date: Mon, 19 Aug 
From: Dan Gahlinger 
Subject: Re: Re Dan G.

>At 10:03 AM 8/19/96 -0700, you wrote:
>>Well, I like to commune with nature including trees.  Ive fully accepted
the earth as 
>>my mother and know that she feeds, houses and cloths me every day as she
tried to do 
>>for all of her children.  Supposedly in the dim dark past she was once
perfect but not 
>>today.  She has been "messed up".  If a planet or a planetary spirit can
feel -she is 
>>very sad today. Royale
>>
>
>I too like to "cherish" mother earth, for even though she has stated I am
not one of her children, and do not belong here, she accepts and treats me
the same, and I respect her, and the wonderous nature that makes up the planet.
>
>There is indeed a planetary spirit, and she is indeed in pain and grief.
man destroys her on a daily basis, mankind is killing her.  One day she may
yet strike back at us for the damage we have done.
>
>I heard from some people who spoke to some indian elders in the US not long
ago who had stated at that time that it was far too late for us to repair
the damage we have done. A rather sad state of affairs if you think about it.
>
>but "earth changes" is not really a topic for this list, so I'll leave it
at that.
>>Dan.